Before - Legends The Legend of Black Saber (2nd Anniversary Repost) Updated 7/1

Two years and two days ago, I--as tatooinewizard--embarked on a great adventure, posting my first fan fic on theforce.net, The Legend of Black Saber , which I had spent months writing and editing. The initial run was great, for me anyway I must say, I met new friends, whom I now sorely miss after having been away on such a long hiatus, and I got some much desired feedback. Later I even managed to have this story win 'Best OC Story' in the 2003 Original Character awards.

I've dug up the old story now to give some new people the chance to read something they probably didn't know was buried here. If some old friends want to reaquaint themselves with the piece, I won't argue the point

And so I once again give you The Legend of Black Saber ... But one more thing...

DISCLAIMER: George Lucas is the Emperor of Star Wars. Need I say more?

___________________________


I

A cold fire blazed throughout Cloudia Wandry?s tense body as she jerked awake and quickly fought to sit up in bed, and she rubbed her eyes with her clammy hands, forcing herself to see in the darkness. She looked to her right and saw the bulky outline of the trunk, which contained her meager belongings, and the archaic computer control panel that was flashing slightly. Seeing those things, she knew where she was: her room on Valenteen?s base on Trangor L?sa.

She sighed, rubbing her forehead, and then her black hair, with her trembling palm, and she knew she should have felt relieved, but she didn?t. Her heart still pounded, and she couldn?t help but shiver a few times. The coldness inside of her was only beginning to wear off, and suddenly Cloudia thought of the one thing that might comfort her.

She twisted out of the sheets without haste and silently walked to her trunk; it was an antique piece of furniture, from the Vega system, and it had a quite modern, computerized locking mechanism. The young woman didn?t know why she was obsessive about keeping the trunk locked. Who would want to steal from me anyway? she thought, but then she reminded herself, the galaxy is full of fools.

She hit the third of five buttons, a mesh of numbers and letters scrolling onto the small screen below. Then she typed her sprawling code from memory, and when she finished she heard the slightly hissed ?chhhh? sound of the lock giving. Then she opened the trunk and reached to the bottom left side. After a moment her hand brushed against the familiar feeling, sleek metal object, and even more quickly, it was within her grasp and out of the trunk.

Then Cloudia slid the tip of her thumb along the handle until she tapped the slightly raised button, and the lightsaber came to life. The blade was black, and as she tilted it vertically, the distorted light worked its hardest to cast an ominous look into her somber, thoughtful features.
Perhaps if she had been completely human she wouldn?t have looked so threatening, but her late mother had been a Churyen. So the young woman had a somewhat gold tint to her skin. She had a trio of crescent-shaped bonelines curving from her eyes to her cheeks; her eyes themselves were a deep, thick purplish color, and her lips looked bruised with a similar hue.

The half-Churyen kept her stare focused on the lightsaber and knew that most wouldn?t have wanted to be saddled with this odd brand of the familiar Jedi weapon. It had the appearance of a tool that would likely be used by those interested in the Dark Side of the Force.

But this object had belonged to her now deceased father Corryn Wandry. He had been a Jedi Master, and though he had left the Order, he had not done so for any dark reasons like some of the others before him. Well, Cloudia didn?t honestly know why he had turned his back on the Jedi, but she had known her father as a kind, loving man, someone who would never have been seduced by the Dark Side.

As she stood there, thinking and continuing to stare at her most sacred possession, the door to her room opened. She shuddered, unable to suppress a gasp as she forced her lightsaber?s b

 

What? No takers?

 

Very interesting beginning! I'm looking forward to the next part to answer some questions, like who Xcelcior is and if he's going to cause trouble for Cloudia.

As a newcomer, I appreciate the opportunity to read some older fics I missed...

 

Hey! You're ripping off my old friend tatooinewizard's story! How could you? You heathen!

EDIT: Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know... Great disguise tw

 

Artanis


Very interesting beginning!

Thanks

I'm looking forward to the next part to answer some questions, like who Xcelcior is and if he's going to cause trouble for Cloudia.

That'll definitely be explained, but this story's a big one so it'll take awhile for everything to be answered.

Spike

Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know... Great disguise tw

And here I was under the impression you were all powerful

 

Like Yoda and Palpatine before me, I give off the impression of weakness so my enemies underestimate me

 

Ah. That makes sense then.

 

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Hi. Glad to see that you're back. I'm rewriting Starchaser, at least I will when I get my computer up and running. Gotta say I was having a crap day until I found out that you were back. Will you be finishing those that started writing last time? And how's your orginal writing going?

 

Hi, em

I'm glad I brightened your day.

Will you be finishing those that started writing last time?

I suppose eventually. I know I really don't have the time now. Here's why (well let me go find one of the emails I wrote and paste that part here. I don't feel like saying it all again for the millionth time)

Of course first I have something to add for this to make more sense before I paste anything...

I wrote a play (which is called The Wandering Shadow , and that's where I got my new user name from obviously ) I hoped to have it preformed in my church, and so here's all that's happed concerning it since then.

The church Session didn't approve it, but for only one reason. We just don't have space at my church, which I was sort of worried about myself so I completely understood, and I was even urged to find another place to put the play on since I had done a good job and put a lot of effort into it. Anyway, the suggested the high school, and that would have been a good place, but when I contacted the drama director at the school, he said it was unlikely because this summer they'll be tearing the inside up so they can tear it down in the fall. I quickly thought of another option, Saint Mary's has this big hall, with a stage, for receptions and other things like that, so I contacted them, and it took quite awhile of going back and forth to figure out all the details. To make it short, the catholics want $300 up front for the two nights I picked to have it preformed.

They want this because I'll be using the hall to make money, even though I stated that all the proceeds would be going to charities. At first I thought I'd luck out and they'd at least take it out of the money that came in, but no they want it up front. My friend Mike and I have been joking that Catholics are like toydarians, mind tricks don't work on them, only money

Luckily my cousin Gail is the music director of a school one county over, the school I graduated from as a matter of fact. The school has yearly musicals, and I think Gail has done four so far. Anyway, the way she raises money for her productions is she goes around to local businesses and asks for sponsorship. So I'm taking up that idea. I haven't really been able to get going yet though, which is frustrating. Last Friday I wound up running into the reverend and also the secretary of my church.

They seemed eager to help. They're going to back me, and make me look official so when I go into businesses it doesn't seem like I'm possibly trying to scam them. That's a logical point that I hadn't thought of. Plus with being church-backed all business owners that contribute will receive a deduction when it comes time for them to file their taxes. Hopefully that'll help. There's one hold up, and that's because of Mrs. Wilcom, the church secretary who said that she was going to help me. First she said we were going to get together on Tuesday, she'd bring this special softwear to the office and we'd get everything figured out. I get there on Tuesday and she says she forgot, but she'll have everything ready for me to pick up the next day. Well, that didn't happen, so she says everything will be ready today. I sure hope so, tryouts are on the sixteen and I have so much that I've got to do, all by myself, not that I'm complaning. I'd just like to get on with it, the whole money issue is making me nervous. I've got to finish my flyers, and contact the local paper, finish editing the play itself, because of all that's going on I can hardly concentrate to do much editing at all.

Then there's the worry if not enough actors come to the tryouts. I need 26 people, so of course I really need to start getting the word out. If hardly anyone comes, then all my work will have been for nothing. It's all frustrating so I pray it all comes together. And I also hope I can see Episode III soon, that would really lift my spirits.

And how's your orginal writing going?

Well. Mostly I'm just working on editing the play now, I also have a short story call

 

Next scene up...





Trangor L?sa?s sun had just begun to transcend the horizon when Cloudia headed for the main hangar, which was home to more than a dozen of the ships in the famous Death Fleet, including Valenteen?s personal favorite, the Death?s Vein. Of course the fleet itself was really more sinister in title than in fact. The man that had long ago founded the organization had reputedly been somewhat macabre, if not mad as well.

Cloudia navigated the base?s corridors with routine ease. She was dressed in a blue uniform, for all of Valenteen?s main people wore the like to denote their status. Yet each member of the elite had a different style. While Erik?s look gave him a more professional edge, Cloudia appeared warrior-like. Her lightsaber hung from the left side of her black belt?the weapon resting snugly at the thigh portion her form-fitting pants?and she wore her hair free.

No one seemed to notice the young woman as she entered the hangar, but she hadn?t thought they would. Through the Force she had been able to feel the tension within way before entering, though there shouldn?t have been any ill ease at all, and even if she hadn?t been Force sensitive, the racket going on would have tipped her off.

?You won?t see my daughter until I receive the king?s reverse dowry! Do you hear me! I will not be conned by the likes of you or anyone else in this sleazy operation!?

The woman yelling was a local widow named Daria Graysky. She was gaunt, perpetually stern looking, and her hair was a mass of tight red curls. Cloudia had only seen the woman in worn, faded garments before this, but now Widow Graysky was dressed as if she were nearly royalty herself. She was wearing a dazzling emerald-colored gown, the material looked as fine as handspun silkweed, and her neck and work-coarse fingers were adorned with the finest Corellian gems.

Apparently the woman felt like talking as if she were royalty as well, although Cloudia discerned that a mixture of greed and worry might have bred this show. Widow Graysky, in wanting to rise above her station, had decided to sell her sixteen-year-old daughter when she?d heard that Mersigh?s sovereign desired to have a human bride.

It was known that she had sold all her possessions, even her house and the fertile land it sat on, because she knew that Joparan of Oxine would be paying well for the girl, but why hadn?t she received payment? Cloudia had seen the king give Valenteen the Mersighdonian credits; that had been a few weeks ago.

?Look, don?t talk to me like that. You should have what you?re owed. It?s not my fault you don?t.? Grip Tarlen responded, stroking her blaster, clearly wanting to use it on the widow.

Grip, despite only being a year or so older than Cloudia, was one of Valenteen?s greatest assets. She was quite intelligent, exquisitely attractive, and absolute hell with a blaster. She wore the jacket of her uniform open, so a low-cut, sleeveless blouse was all that covered her chest, and she almost always had her weapon drawn. So she was quite warrior-like herself. Yet she had a certain spark that made her desirable to nearly all the men who saw her, and she wasn?t so tough as to ignore all of that attention, though she was very selective.

?I?ll talk to you any way I like! I want what I?m owed, and if I don?t get it, the king won?t have his human bride!? Daria Graysky declared as Cloudia made her way toward the bickering women, and as the widow spotted the half-Churyen, she turned and barked, ?You! Get me Urius Valenteen! I want to see him now!?

But before Cloudia could do as she?d been instructed, Valenteen came in, looking as charming as ever in his elite black uniform. ?Widow Graysky. Is there a problem??

Valenteen was very sharp looking, ten years older than Erik, and he was decidedly more sly in appearance than his brother. His hair was a sleek expanse of black waves, though he was graying near the temples now, and his beard was as well groomed as a gentleman?s.

The widow was far from impressed.

?Yes, and you should k

 

I've been thinking that maybe we should revive the old Original Character Alliance thread...

You aren't the only one whose noticed a lack of interest in your story. I don't know if it's just me, but there seems to be a lack of community on the boards right now and it seems to be around at every forum I go and it seems to be difficult to make friends as well - it's kinda of like I'll post my story and leave kinda thing.

Before you came back I was seriously going to consider finishing the stories I've started just incase anyone's reading them and don't come back anymore.

 

Very cool story so far! I like Cloudia. I'll be keeping an eye on this one.

 

em

I've been thinking that maybe we should revive the old Original Character Alliance thread...

That's a pretty good idea.

You aren't the only one whose noticed a lack of interest in your story. I don't know if it's just me, but there seems to be a lack of community on the boards right now

At least in my case, it seems so. A lot different than two years ago. .

Before you came back I was seriously going to consider finishing the stories I've started just incase anyone's reading them and don't come back anymore.

amidalachick



Very cool story so far! I like Cloudia. I'll be keeping an eye on this one.

Thanks a lot I'll probably be updating later today or tomorrow.

 

Just thought I'd let you know I'm still here and reading.

I'm particularly interested in Cloudia's background - and of course, what's going to happen with the widow and the reverse dowry.

 

Just thought I'd let you know I'm still here and reading.

Thanks, Artanis


I'm particularly interested in Cloudia's background -

The update after this one you'll learn how Cloudia became a part of Valenteen's organization. That's one puzzle piece.

and of course, what's going to happen with the widow and the reverse dowry.

You'll find that out very quickly. Also I'm sure you'll find that you really don't like Joparan of Oxine. No one does, and for good reason.



____________________


Widow Graysky?s mood improved tenfold once the reverse dowry was in her hands, and she was quickly out of sight to fetch her daughter. Valenteen didn?t quite believe that Rensor had merely undergone a bout memory loss, but since Wandry had not condemned the aide, the commander took to other tasks as he waited for the most important piece of ?cargo? to arrive.

He was finishing the Death?s Vein?s final inspection with Erik and Jake when Grip boarded.
?Is anything wrong?? Valenteen asked her.
?No, but Joparan of Oxine is calling. He wants to talk to you, and probably the girl, too.? Grip responded.

?And is Olivia Graysky here??

?Not yet, but the widow?s got no reason to keep the girl any longer than necessary. Just keep the king busy for a few minutes if you can, and either Cloudia or I can go see if they?re on the way.?

?You stay here. Help Erik and Jake finish. I?ll send Wandry out on my way to the holo-link.?

And Valenteen was off, first giving Wandry her orders, then making his way to where the sovereign was waiting. He hoped that the widow hadn?t found another reason to keep her daughter. Perhaps the woman would try to seek more money before submitting to release the girl. Daria Graysky was one of the greediest women he?d ever encountered, and he was not going to be pleased if her avarice cost him.

He stepped on the transmitter pad and bowed slightly before the Mersighdonian ruler?s hologram.

?Your Regality, it is pleasant to hear from you. Can I be of service?? Valenteen said.

Joparan of Oxine smiled. He was a towering presence in many ways. He was physically tall like most others of his race, and he had a shine of omnipotence about him, which never seemed to dull. His sleek, crimson garments added to his grandeur.

?Perhaps, Shen Valenteen, perhaps, but first I would like to know how things are proceeding on your base. I should hope they are going well enough that you can leave after this transmission. I will not endure tardiness on this occasion.?

?Things are going well, Your Regality? Splendidly in fact. We?re ready to leave this very moment.?
The king?s smile widened, for he hadn?t detected the lie. ?Good, good. As it should be then. I will leave you now, and we will see each other in a few days time?? Valenteen was about to turn the holo-link off when the sovereign said, ?But wait. I should like to see my new acquisition first.?

?Yes, Your Regality. Immediately.? Valenteen was very nervous, but he was good at hiding his feelings. He turned from the king?s image, and he sighed internally as he saw Wandry bringing the girl toward him.

Olivia Graysky was dressed in a covering, white gown made entirely of Mersighdonian trevvy-lace. She also wore a silken veil that covered her entire face and was made of such an odd material that she could see out, but none could see in.

When the two reached the holo-link, Valenteen instructed the girl to kneel right where he had been standing.

?Ah, thank you, Shen Valenteen,? the king said, his sharp, glittering teeth were very evident. Then he began to address the girl. ?Female, I want to see your face.? Olivia removed the veil, and her beauty was made clear. Her blonde hair shone, and her sapphire eyes sparkled. ?Ah, Shen Valenteen has done very well, I would say? Female, speak to me.?

The girl said something she had been told to recite. ?I am your slave, my Regality, bound in the bliss of your mighty chains. I have no thoughts save yours, and I worship your perfection as I must

 

There's a new OC story challenge that has been set up in the Resource board, after I posted my idea about starting it up again in the old OCA thread. There's going to be a new challenge every week, but unfortuantely I was too busy this time but I'll be reading what people have come up with.

The OC Dueling Circle

 

Thanks for the link

 

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up

 

Nice chapter! The flashback was very informative - and no, I don't think I like this Joparan of Oxine at all.

I feel sorry for Olivia, though...she seems like a sweet girl. Maybe she'll escape from the arrogant jerk!

 

My partner in crime is back!!! Out on bail?

Awesome to see you around here again. You were always my favorite author here. There are some who do it as well as you but none better.

lordmaul13

 

[b' Artanis [/b]

[/i] Nice chapter! The flashback was very informative - [/i]

I was going to say 'what flashback? That's not until the next post'. But there's two different ones. Just got home from seeing Episode III and haven't gotten back on balance yet



I feel sorry for Olivia, though...she seems like a sweet girl. Maybe she'll escape from the arrogant jerk!

She'll luck out in some way, perhaps.


maul

My partner in crime is back!!! Out on bail?

Escaped



Awesome to see you around here again. You were always my favorite author here. There are some who do it as well as you but none better.

Wow. thanks

I have a few new things on the boards that I might have mentioned sometime back. I'll have to dig up the links for you.

 

Escaped

They have yet to build a prison that can hold you.

Wow. thanks

You're welcome. It's true.

I have a few new things on the boards that I might have mentioned sometime back. I'll have to dig up the links for you.

That'd be awesome.

If I weren't heading out of town again tomorrow and it wasn't as late as it is, I'd start getting caught up on your repost.

lordmaul13

 

That'd be awesome.

I'll edit them in a minute or so.

If I weren't heading out of town again tomorrow and it wasn't as late as it is, I'd start getting caught up on your repost.

I know you will when you have the time

You'll probably have an email from me by the time you get back.

EDIT: Now let's see if I remember how to make a proper link... Apparently I can't... Someone remind me please.

http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=19741277&start=19938583

this is for a story called The Senator's Journal...

http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=19741149&start=19920791

this is for The Star Wars, a saga poem with Episodes I and II up...