Saga The Legend Of Myth-- First Day Challenge

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Healer_Leona, Feb 27, 2005.

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  1. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    I must thank Sara Kenobi for her challenge thread that gave me a spark of inspiration. A short missing scene. :)

    Time: Post TPM
    Character: Obi-Wan Kenobi
    Summary: Obi-Wan's thoughts on his first day back after the events on Naboo.



    As I walk down the hall, I feel the eyes of everyone I pass bore into me and so I look down. I cloak myself in the Force, both to guide me through the long, hallowed corridors and to blind myself from those that wish to catch my attention. I?ve no desire to converse, not even a word if I can have my way.

    I strive to reach the apartment without being stopped. There are numerous things to be taken care of, packing and moving. Thankfully, Anakin is with Adi Gallia, who has volunteered to take him to Requisitions and then a tour of the Temple. The boy has need of more than one set of clothes and the tour will provide me with the private time I desperately require.

    The tale has beaten me back to the Jedi Temple, and like the gossamer wings of a glitterfly in a raging storm, the essential facts are tattered and strewn. One would think the story that?s now heard would give me comfort, build me up, but that is not the case. Decades of Jedi training have taught me to look beyond for the truth, to search for it.

    Even now it pains me that this ever spreading, ever modifying account is quickly taking on a life of it?s own. Historic and legendary I?ve heard it called and this only aggravates my misery. Sith Killer, I?ve hear them call me and I wince each time it?s spoken. Who would ever want to be titled a killer? of any kind? To a Jedi this is no compliment? it borders blasphemy.

    For all of this my greatest fear is not what is being said, not the idle gossip of what I did, nor how I did it. My greatest fear is what I keep deep inside me, the truth I will hold in my heart for an eternity, one that no one has as of yet uncovered.

    My first day back in the Jedi Temple, coming quickly on the heels of my first official day as Knight and Master and all I can do is wish it were different. There is no happiness in me, only a numbness as ?the tale? is both whispered and shouted.

    It is not what is passed on, one mouth to another, one ear to another. It is what is not included in the fable, that truth that has been separated from fact, an invisible hole which will forever haunt me.

    That I was too slow to save him.
  2. Jemmiah Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2000
    star 5
    You can almost visualise poor Obi-Wan trying to walk with his hood pulled down over his face in a bid to go unnoticed, such is the heaviness of his heart. I love how he dislikes being branded a "Sith killer", or the fact that he has made a name for himself in such dreadful circumstances. In TPM Obi-Wan wanted to prove himself ready, and he did so, but you have managed to make us feel how he'd give up anything to have Qui-Gon back.

    Lovely post! :)

  3. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    And you call me heartbreaking!
  4. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    OH, Leona, that was lovely and so heartbreaking! I liked Who would ever want to be titled a killer? of any kind? To a Jedi this is no compliment? it borders blasphemy. Especially since he killed Maul by cutting him in half, a sign of contempt.

    Very poignant! Great job.
  5. ShrunkenJedi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 26, 2003
    star 5
    I've never thought of it that Obi-Wan would be gossiped about for killing Maul. I like it, though! It feels like an Anakin paralell in a lot of ways, which feels right somehow. The thoughts on the situation are pure Obi-Wan to the core. ;)
  6. Mike-Sunrider Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 4, 2003
    star 4
    Poor Obi. :eek:

    That was heartbreaking Leona, you've captured the feeling so amazingly well.

    It is wonderful.
  7. Sara_Kenobi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 21, 2000
    star 7
    Oh, that was simply breathtaking, Leona. Lots of emotions, Obi-Wan would have faced in that moment. Thank you for writing this! :)
  8. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Poor Obi :( that was indeed great! :) loved the emotional turmoil there. Poor guy... and yeah I'd think it would center close around blasphemy as well being called a 'Sith killer' :(

    Great work! :D
  9. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Jemmiah, I'm thrilled you could see even more than what the words conveyed.

    Ish, I love when the idea does make it across. [face_devil]

    Diane, thank you. I had always wondered at the gossip mill in the Temple and how one would react to it.

    ShrunkenJedi, as I said to Diane, gossip even there would be inevitable, stories would get around and as much a hero they claimed Obi-Wan to be, it would be a very sad time for him.

    Mike_Sunrider, thank you. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. :)

    Sara, it's your idea that spurred the idea, thank you!

    Kynstar, we all love a tragic Obi... he just reeks of sadness at times. Thank you!
  10. Arwyn_Whitesun Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 13, 2002
    star 4
    That was lovely, Leona. And so sad. Nicely done vignette. Very poignant.
  11. Idrelle_Miocovani Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2005
    star 6
    Moving... so tragic, but lovely all the same.
  12. pokey1984 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    May 10, 2004
    star 2
    So terrible. It's hard for me to imagine Jedi as gossips, but you portray that very well. I can't imagine having to go through that...

    Great story, th anks for posting it.
  13. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Arwyn - Thank you. After a conversation with someone I had been inspired.

    Idrelle, I see you're Ish's, congrats and thanks for reading!

    Pokey, gossip seems to be everywhere. Beings are still beings... thanks!
  14. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Awwwwwwww Leona that was so heartbreaking!

    Poor Obi-Wan I felt so bad for him especially there with that last line.. lovely job!
  15. Enheduanna Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 5, 2005
    Oh my. That was simply heart breaking, Leona!! To just visualize him actually walking as if the weight of the galaxy rested on his shoulders is heart-wrenching! :(

    An excellent piece. I am truly moved by it. :(
  16. Miana Kenobi Costuming & Props Mod - Retired Admin

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Apr 5, 2000
    star 8
    :eek: I'm speechless Leona. That was so sad, yet so beautiful!! :_| It makes you just want to hug him! :(
  17. tangled_sphere Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 28, 2003
    star 4
    Poor Obi-Wan, I can see all of this happening after that terrible fight. The doubts and the whispers. Excellent job, Leona :)
  18. Knight_Aragorn Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 15, 2003
    star 4
    Wonderful portrayal of Obi-Wan, Leona. I really thought you captured him well. That line about 'who would want to be titled a killer' really stood out for me. I've never thought about that, but it's so true. I can see something like that really having an effect on Obi-Wan. And that last line was so sad, but so... Obi-Wan.

    Excellent job! :)
  19. SarkaVrae Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2004
    star 5
    my first thought in seeing this on the board, "wow! Leona posted!!" [face_laugh] ;)

    you should participate in more challenges sweetie!! this was awesome!! :D

    Sith Killer, I?ve hear them call me and I wince each time it?s spoken. Who would ever want to be titled a killer? of any kind? To a Jedi this is no compliment? it borders blasphemy.
    how Obi-Wan of him to point that out. you had him very in character, Leona. great job! :)
  20. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Layren, thanks sweetie. :0

    Enheduanna To just visualize him actually walking as if the weight of the galaxy rested on his shoulders is heart-wrenching. that is just how I picuted him too!

    Miana People would want to hug Obi-Wan?!? Really?? ;) He is a huggable kind of guy.

    t_s I could never see him being happy after all the changes in his life.. ready or not life plows ahead. :(

    Knight_Aragorn, thank you. [face_blush] I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    Sarka... Surprise!! LOL! Actually I've got a Jedi Purge challenge floating somewhere on the back pages here. Even more surprising are the
    'Beyond' drabbles I've posted to Drabbo Fett's challenge.
  21. mouse2 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 29, 1999
    star 4
    That was heartbreaking Leona! I could just picture him walking down the halls of the temple alone and silent with the fact that he was too slow burning into his heart. He just seems so broken.

    You just want to hug him and squeeze him!
  22. oldjedinurse Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 6, 2003
    star 4
    WOW!

    Leona, what terrific writing. The tone, the sense of emotion, the words, the ideas: All evoke Obi-wan.

    Thanks so much for this beautiful piece. You inspire with more than advice!

    Mari :D

  23. Jaina_and_Jag Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 19, 2003
    star 5
    Oh wow!

    I just loved that! :D Great job at getting inside Obi's psyshe.

    I can really picture him beating himself up over Qui Gon's death and you really hit the nail on the head.

    Great job! :D
  24. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    The last line was jabbing. :eek: And this sentence just left me in awe: The tale has beaten me back to the Jedi Temple, and like the gossamer wings of a glitterfly in a raging storm, the essential facts are tattered and strewn. This was so beautiful. =D=
  25. Gina Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2003
    star 4
    :eek: A very thought-provoking vignette. I could visualize this scene so easily, and you seemed to get right at the core of Obi-Wan's emotions. His guilt at believing he was to blame for Qui-Gon's death by not acting quickly enough eerily echoes Anakin's later guilt over his mother's death.

    The tale has beaten me back to the Jedi Temple, and like the gossamer wings of a glitterfly in a raging storm, the essential facts are tattered and strewn.

    Beautiful imagery here.

    Truly excellent! :)
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