The Life of a Fire Fighter

Journal #553

Date: Saturday, June 24th, 2006


Stand-by for Deployment was canceled around 15:30 Hours later on Tuesday. I'm still avabile to Deploy to Wildland Fires if the need comes up.

Chris, who also works for a Wildland Fire Company, is on Stand-by throughout the week for Deployment. He doesn't know where he's going, but the Wildland Company he works for told him to be avabile.

I've been dating this girl this last week. Great stuff, really. I'm having lots of fun, we went out last night in fact to The Church, a dance club in Denver. Her best-friend came with us. We've been dating and stuff and like I said, lots of fun, she just doesn't want to do the boyfriend and girlfriend thing yet, she wants to go out on a few more dates, which I'm totally cool with, although I do need to stop mentioning it to her. I'm hoping I am doing good so far, so maybe we can hook up as boyfriend and girlfriend. I'll have to trust and have faith in God our Lord to see what He wants to happen.

I was reading Jessie's journal and I feel so sorry for her. I just want to go and give a hug. I've been where she's been, where you just feel nothing. It sucks, but you just gotta fight through it and find and do what makes you happy.

And after reading Jessie's journal, I need to come clean of some truths here. I'm terified, scared, fearful. I have doubt and fear, always wondering if I messed up or if I'm doing something wrong when I take tis girl out on our dates. I don't want to mess up. I'm so fearful of screwing this up, because I really don't want to screw this one up, I really, really like this woman. We have fun together and I'm enjoying life. I just have to have faith and trust in our Lord.

 

Jason oh great dumb one , don't worry just be your self and don't have a negitive mind set or you will screw it up just have a positive mind set and don't worry if you mess up, cuz you do, and then you know what you did wrong then if it does get screwed up.

-Donovan

 

Oh yes, smart one. What would I do without friends like you Donovan?

 

you would do nothing


-Donovan

 

Journal #554

Date: Tuesday, July 04th, 2006


Happy 4th of July everyone!

How can women be so cruel? Seriously, why is it that in the male way of life, we will always be drawn to chasing women even when we know we shouldn't? Why can't it just be simple, male and females?

 

Mate, women aren't cruel, guys are just stupid

 

Journal #555

Date: Friday, July 07th, 2006


Getting back into a gym routine every three days again. Feels pretty good. I took the afternoon shift today at work because one of my co-workers had to drive his wife to the airport this afternoon, so I took his shift and he took my morning shift. At least I got to sleep in for once, which I did just waking up a bit ago.

I had the oddest thing happen a few days at work. I was cleaning out the wash-bay walls, full of grease and dirt and the like. Well as I cleaned away this one grease splatter, the Holy Cross appeared on the wall where the grease had once been. I didn't think anything of it at first as I tried to wash it away and it didn't go away, shrugging, I moved on. But as I thought about it, as most other grease spots similiar to the depth and size of the one left over by the Holy Cross one, I came back to it and looked at it. And I tried to wash it away again, mind you I'm using a High Pressure Washer that can remove grease from machines like it's a light layer of dust or something. Then it hit me!

Holy Corss. Faith. Sign from God.

And there you go! I ran into Manny's shop, grabbed him, he stood there just as amazed as I was. Then I ran and grabbed my boss and showed him. They saw it, just as I did, and my boss made the comment that it was a sign from God. Well, I leave it be for a day and then the next day I come back and it's still there! I had brought my camera to take a picture of it and got the picture of the Holy Cross on the wall. It's a small Holy Cross, but the Holy Cross non-the-less and from God. The picture isn't very good since it's on a white wall and the grease around the Holy Corss is faded and the Holy Cross itself is white with-in the grease, but at least I have a picture of it now.

 

Journal #556

Date: Wednesday, July 12th, 2006


Been living life and life has been busy. Let's see, July 4th, Chris and I spent the night at 154's (Fire Sttaion) of Castle Rock Fire Department, watching it pour rain all night with the Castle Rock Brush Truck we were paired with for the night. We had our Scat One for the night. For the record, our briefing kicked ass! It was like a fighter pilot's briefing. The Operations Chief stood up behind a dias at the front of the room and the Police and Fire crews for the night sat at atble with note-books and cheat-cheets handy for our orders. It was so cool!

Other then that, been going to the gym (just got back from the gym today) and at the Fire House last night, had a talk with the Fire Chief about the Bunker Gear budget for next year and what needs to be done with the money left for this year. Being in a position of authority, such as my position with-in the Fire Department, is nice sometimes, esp. when the Fire Chief asks me for advice and what I think. It just feels nice to know that the Big Man of the House for say is considering what I tell him to make changes to stuff with-in the Fire Department.

 

Journal #557

Date: Saturday, July 15th, 2006


My jeep broke down yesterday on the way home. Seven hundred dollars later, it's fixed. I didn't flip the bill this time around, my Mother did in fact, which was really nice of her. There's talk about just getting a whole new vehicle, although my Mother is against it since she just put seven hundred dollars into the jeep.

I'm one out of a few people at work being selected for a possabile promotion. Considering I've only been with the company for less then six months, this is a good thing. Good and bad come with this promotion. Good, more money, health benifits, etc. The bad, I get transfered up to Commerace City and I will need to buy a new vehicle, because I know my jeep can't make it up to and back to Commerace City Monday through Friday and then to Castle Rock on days I'm on shift at the Fire House. Also, I'll have less time to myself and I'll be tired even more then I already am. There is also some stuff I need to discuss with my superiors at the company involving the Fire House and all, since I do need to be availble for the Fire House still as well for the rest of the summer for Wildland Fire Deployments.

Speaking of Wildland Fire Deployments, I turned down a State of Colorado Firest Service job for my company I work for now. Mainly, despite me wanting to work Wildland Fires the rest of the summer, the Fire Season has three months left, including July, and it would be a seasonal job verus my job with my company mow that is not seasonal. I had to look long-term and although I might have closed a door on a foot in the door for say in the Fire Service, God will show me another door to open to open to get my foot into the Fire Service. God is looking out for my best interests and I know that if He wanted me to take that Forest Service job, I would have, but He wanted me to wait and so I wait for another door to open, hopefully a door with a brighter and more welcoming light to it then the one that just closed.

Onto other news, I'll be out of town to go back East to Penn. to go see family from July 21st through to July 31st. My Dad and I are going and will be driving, something him and I haven't done together since I was a kid. Since I can drive now, and that my Dad agreed to, we should be able to make it to PA in less then two and a half days, which is the normal drive time if one person is driving and pushing it at that too.

 

Journal #558

Date: Sunday, July 16th, 2006


Been running calls all day in 100 degree plus heat down at the Fire House. Didin't even eat breakfest until after 2 PM today. Got to the Fire House, salad in hand, and we started our day off with maybe fifteen or so minutes into my shift. Went back to the place where I got the salad after our day started to slow down and exchanged the salad for a fresh one, explaining what had happened and why I was exchanging it, got a new one for free.

Lets see, other than that, I ran a mile in seven minutes and fifty-one seconds today! Twenty-three seconds off of my best mile time in High School, which was seven minutes and twenty-eight seconds. Considering I ran that seven minute and fifty-one second mile with one cup of water and a snack bar just as I woke up, I think I'm doing pretty good. In short, it's on!

Can't wait until Friday, I really want to go back East to see family in PA. I miss them so much.

 

Journal #559

Date: Wednesday, July 19th, 2006


Got promoted today at work. Long, ten hour days ahead of me. Long drive too. I'll need to work out my gym stuff too and free time. Along with Fire House stuff. I get benifits, which is nice.

Okay, so I know I keep on saying it, it seems like the never ending cycle, but I come home today and my Dad is leaving. He just had to do this, before we go on vacautation, he had to come home and say he's getting a devoice...again. What a way to ruin a vacautation, my first vacautation in over two years...maybe three years now, or has it been four? Wow, it's been a while, that's all I know.

But truth be told, God gave me what I wanted. I wanted to move out of my house...He's just giving me some extra motivation to move out now.

Oh yeah, in some other news, my Dad is back into the Fire Service. He joined the local Volunteer Fire Department by the cabin down South. They made him a Captain since when he left the Fire Service back in 1992, he was a Lieutenant. Now my family is back into the Fire Service, my Dad, my cousin Terry, and me. Dad and Terry are both Fire Officers, Terry being a Lieutenant, so that means I have to become a Fire Officer to keep up with them.

 

Journal #560

Date: Friday, August 11th, 2006


I'm alive, if barely some nights.

Grandmom is alive and doing well.

Parents broke up. Dad gone, Mom depressed.

Got dumped by girl I was dating when I went back to see dying grandmom. No phone call, text message, or even an email. Finally got her on email (to ashemed or maybe just bitchy to talk to me in person and brake up with me) and she said she just wants to be friends.

I'm sleeping on a friend's couch right now, been so for two weeks now.

Got a new car.

Saving up money for an apartment with Kelen. Have to be out by next week when paycheck comes on Friday.

Reading Star Wars: Betrayal.

Writing a starfighter Fan Fic.

Getting closer to God and finally starting to at least understand just a part of what God is doing with me. Feels good, really good.

Hanging out with friends as much as I can.

Going to the Fire House for shifts as usual.

In charge of the Open House at the Fire House. Details to come later, on October 14th, a Saturday.

Going to the gym when I can.

 

Journal #561

Date: Tuesday, August 15th, 2006


Seven minutes and twenty-three seconds for a one mile run (best mile time in High School was seven minutes and twenty-eight seconds); note, I did hang on to the handle bars three or so times, so you could say seven minutes and thirty some seconds as well. One day after I kneeled in front of the Holy Cross at Church and prayed for God to take away these barries between Him and I.

It's on...

 

Journal #562

Date: Saturday, August 19th, 2006


One Mile Run: Seven minutes and fourteen seconds...

 

you and running those bloody miles .

I heard some news about matt berry, he joined the navy and got back about a week ago from being sent over to iraq, and he got shot in the arm not badly damage "through and through", and he is back and hanging around the high school off and on.

-Donovan

 

Journal #563

Date: Sunday, August 27th, 2006


One Mile Run: Seven Minutes and Twenty-Three Seconds...


Went to Church today and as usual, God had the information I needed. Kind of amazing how He can do things like that to us when we need it the most. Hung out with Donovan at Champps today...football season is almost here baby!

I finally quit Blockbuster, so I'll have my weekends back now. I want to start going to the RMFF Meetings again.

 

Journal #564

Date: Tuesday, August 29th, 2006


My Birthday is coming up in five days, Sept. 4th. I'll be twenty-two years old.

Wow, talk about a depression wave last night at the Fire House. I was doing fine all shift, them bam! Depression center is here. Couldn't even fall asleep last night, with all the stuff going on. The one thing thing that brought a smile to my face and let me fall asleep was thinking about Jessie and going to Austrillia (forgot if it was two ll or just one! ) to see her. It's been a goal of mine for the last two years. And I know I'm trying to save up for my own apartment and stuff, what I figure I can work some extra overtime (ontop of the overtime I already work). I got nothing better else to do right now really but work, work, work, and go to the gym. Minus well try to make that trip to Austrillia come a little sooner, which if I just work my ass off and go to the gym everyday like I do and just accept the fact that that is my life for right now, I'll be in Austrillia by the New Year or early summer 2007. And maybe Jessie will be beat me to the punch, come here to America first, then I go over there. Or the other way around. That would be so cool!

 

Journal #565

Date: Wednesday, August 30th, 2006

Almost got canned at work today. Had a meeting with the two big bosses. But, I held to my faith throughout the meeting, knowing that God would see me through it, and I got back to work, kicking some major ass. My main boss was grinning ear to ear afterwards.

Lets see, took the night off from the gym to give my body some breathing room. Back at it tomorrow night.

Working overtime each night now to make some extra money.

Got into a fight with my Mom today after work, big huge fight about me going up to Ft. Collins (sp?) this weekend for my birthday.

And now I'm eating dinner, listening to 98.7 WayFM, and on the internet.

 

Journal #566

Date: Monday, September 04th, 2006


It's my birthday today!

Cool, so anyways I ran the mile again a few days ago, oh yeah, on Friday. Seven minutes and thirty-two or thirty-four seconds. I was running without hydratation and all. I need to remember to hydrate before I run my miles and go to the gym. I also lifted weights on Friday.

My Best-Friend Brennan took me to the CSU game on Saturday. My first college football game! And we won, 30 to 6! GO CSU baby!

I was at the Fire House on Sunday, washed two sticks of Fire Hose and confirmed the edits Chief made to the Newsletter. The Open House will be on October 14th, a Saturday.

Bought Ace Combat: Zero for the PS2. Having a dickin of a time beating the last level. And I also bought Madden 2007 for the PS2 a few weeks ago, ahven't even played a full game on it yet. Well, playing my first full game on it now at least.

To take up the one hour of free time I have each night after I get home from the gym and work, I'm starting a Fan Fic. All of my Fan Fics have failed because of scale and inexperience at having multipule characters. This time I'm keeping it between two Jedi Knights and a world. It'll be a series of books because of the timeline it is placed it. I have the details of the story down, now I just need to make up my kind on how to use those ideas and get the intro page posted in the Fan Fic section of the JC.

 

Journal #567

Date: Monday, September 04th, 2006


I just beat Ace Combat Zero: The Belkan War on Knight level! Now I need to beat it on Mercenary and Soldier levels. So many different cut-scenes for all three levels! It's craaazzzzy!

Speaking of which, I knew something was wrong with my Fan Fic idea. I'm going to change it. I've always had a thing for mercenaries and pilots. I'm going to go with part of the orginal idea that started it all with the Jedi Knights. Not to mention, I won't have to worry about affecting the STAR WARS canon as much with Betrayal in the Expanded Universe and all.

 

Journal #568

Date: Wednesday, September 06th, 2006


One Mile Run: Seven minutes and fourteen seconds...

I was so angry yesterday that I couldn't even focus on my run and as a result, during the last two laps of the run, I found myself hanging on to the handle bars. All I wanted to do was run, but I couldn't focus. I also lifted weights yesterday with a better result, not to say that the run wasn't a good run, I just couldn't focus.

My Mom is depressed beyond words, my Dad is gone, and I'm stuck in the middle of it all. All I want to do is scream and run away from it all.

I wish I could go to Church right now and talk with my fellow Christians, even at this early hour of the morning.

 

Look on the bright side of life, not death .

-Donovan

 

Journal #569

Date: Saturday, September 09th, 2006


I kept my job! After a week and a half of "needed improvement," I did it! Went to the gym to celebrate...wait a second, that doesn't make sense, aren't you supposed to go out with people? Nah, gym won! I did go up to Castle Rock last night to celebrate, although I was in a weird tired/complaining mood. Either way, had fun, hung out with Chris and Jason, had some pizza and some beer, then bumbed their couch for the night.

Found myself at Village Inn this morning for breatfest, becoming a bit of a routine now before the Fire House. Went to the Fire House. Started the day off, got some things to do from Chief. Later talked with Chief and although details are fuzzy and this is in the future like by a few years...looks like I'm going to be put in charge of a future program at the Fire House. I can't disclose any of the details, for it was just talk, but more importantly, it's going to happen and it is one of those need to know only things. Also, Chief expressed his thanks and proudness for me at handling the Open House, being put in my first Officer-like role outside of Bunker Gear Inventory. Does this mean me becoming a Lieutenant with-in the next three to five years?????

Football starts tomorrow baby! Champps, Dovoan and I on Sundays at Champps once again for another season of football! Let the season begin! Go Denver Bronocos!

 

Journal #570

Date: Sunday, September 10th, 2006

Broncos lost today. Offensive line didn't show up to play today.

Got sime disappointment today after the game. If you remember Riley, well, she's coming back from Ohio. Problem is, she's seeing someone. And well, I wanted to date her again. But hey, when we pray to God, He doesn't always give us everything we want. If we order, for example, two double cheeseburgers, large fry, and a drink, He instead gives us one double cheeseburger, a medium fry, and a drink. And what is interesting about this is, which I figured out just now whgile writing this journal entry, is He will give us sometimes what we need but didn't pray for at the moment, but we, unknownly, wanted what He gave us and didn't ask for.

 

Journal #571

Date: Tuesday, September 12th, 2006


FIRE!

We burned a car last night. I was on nozzle. And it was just sex for a Fire Fighter through and through. That fire was ripping! We deployed our attack line and got after it! There was no playing around, once we were off Engine Three, we were trucking like dogs out of hell! As I approchaced the burning vehicle, I had Rickie (Rick) behind me and we just poured it on baby! Just bam! Bam! And bam! I'm not saying mistakes weren't made, but overall, we did a very good job on the car fire.

Okay, I need to go run into a wall now to get rid of some of this addrillian (sp?) from talking about this car fire.


And now onto the results of the car fire. I was Senior Fire Fighter on that fire. It's a bit unnerving and mind blowing when I had time to sit down and think about it after the fire. Talked with my Senior Fire Fighter John and I said that it's amazing how things have gone the past two years. When I joined, I looked to John and Dustin (both my Senior Fire Fighters) for guidence and they took me under their wing for protection and training. Now I'm in their shoes, being the Senior Fire Fighter to Richie and our new Probie Kevin who was also with us. They look to me for leadership and guidence. For instance, Richie gave me a call and we meet down at Bud's Bar (not in uniform a course) and we talked...first time I ever really hung out with Richie outside of the Fire House. He's going through the Fire Academy now, as is Kevin, and I told Richie that if he ever needed anything or help, to just call me and I'll meet him anywhere to study.

It's just...awe inspiring at first that now I'm the one that not only my Chief looks to, as he once did John and Dustin, but now I'm the one leading our Probies and younger guys into car fire and, as we did before the car fire, vehicle extercatation (sp?). On vehicle extercatation, where John and Dustin once did everything and kicked ass, I'm the one doing their jobs now.

In short, Jackson 105 Fire Department is going from the old to the new. John and Dustin are both with Larksburg (sp?) Fire now, John having a paid position with now after years and years and years of testing. John is training to become an Officer with Jackson 105 and Dustin is an Engineer with Jackson 105 now as, when I first joined over two years ago with the Fire Department, they were veteran Fire Fighters on the Fire Department. Jackson 105 Fire Department has really taken off in the past year or so.

And my life, in general, has really taken off and been a real experience over the last two years. I've changed so much from that innocent, lonely, afraid boy I was fresh out of High School. After last night, after seeing where my life has gone, I think I can finally say I'm no longer just the "kid" or the "junior," I think I cna say I'm now a man. A person who has rolled with the punches with life and has sought my hardest to stay to the path I know is right and just.

I beat Ace Combat Zero again, this time on Mercenary Ace Style. First time I beat it on Knight Ace Style. I have Soldier Ace Style to beat next.