Before - Legends The Life That Is Mine *Songfic* (JA/Obi-mind torture)

Title: The Life That Is Mine
Author: KrystalBlaze aka Blazer
Notes: Song-fic of Creed's Weathered. Written by Scott Stapp.
Summary: Obi-Wan has just come back from a trying first solo mission. He was tortured, and now Qui-Gon must help save him before he falls into the cave of darkness that has been lurking in Obi-Wan's mind since he returned.

/ / = song lyrics


THE LIFE THAT IS MINE



Obi-Wan whimpered wrapped his arms around himself and rocked gently, trying to fight back the tears that were blurring his eyes. He tried to stop the soft whimpers that were escaping past his lips, but they kept sliding out, over and over.

"I can?t stop," he whispered. "It?s not my fault." He ground his teeth against each other and the whimpers ran to soft mutters. The darkness swallowed him, strangled and choked him. He could feel it at the back of his mind, as surely as he had felt and saw the blows as they had come.

"Obi-Wan?" The voice broke through the darkness, and he curled tighter into a ball, his knuckles white. He felt the Force swirl around him and wrap around his mind. It was gentle and he felt a sleep push knock him into sleep.



// I lie awake on a long, dark night

I can?t seem to tame my mind

Slings and arrows are killing me inside

Maybe I can?t accept the life that?s mine

No, I can?t accept the life that is mine//



Qui-Gon frowned as he looked down at his Padawan. The boy was curled up in a corner, his face tight, even as he lay sleeping. Qui-Gon tried to push back his worry, but it ate and gnawed at his insides. He bent down to Obi-Wan, who was asleep, thanks to his Force suggestion.

It had been three weeks since Obi-Wan had returned from his first solo mission on a planet called Jious. He had been injured, tortured, and ransomed. It had been Qui-Gon who had rescued Obi-Wan from the dirty and ratty prison, and the sight of his twenty-two year old Padawan curled up, his right leg broken and wrenched under him and his right eye blind still hung in Qui-Gon?s mind at night,

Obi-Wan had been released from the infirmary only a week ago, and his right eye was still blind, and he still needed crutches to walk. Qui-Gon ran a hand through Obi-Wan?s hair, sighing. The sight of his Padawan, who hardly ever cried, left him weary and rocked.

He bent down and picked Obi-Wan up, grunting. He sorely remembered when he could carry the boy easily and with ease. He staggered over to Obi-Wan?s room and set him down on the bed. He flopped down next to Obi-Wan, sighing and breathing hard. Obi-Wan whimpered in his sleep and turned over restlessly.

"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon whispered. "What is wrong?"

~*~*~*~

Obi-Wan awoke to a pain in his right leg. He clutched it, his fingers trying to ease the pain. It was always worst at night. He sucked in a deep breath and felt his ribs cry out. He had been tortured when Lord Tangar ( who was breaking the Galactic Law anyway when he kidnapped his neighboring planet ruler?s son) had learned Obi-Wan had taken the boy and returned him to his rightful place. He had sustained three busted ribs, numerous cuts and bruises, a broken leg, a concussion, and because of it had been blinded in his right eye because of it.

He felt sick to his stomach whenever he thought of it. He wanted to scream his rage to the sky and choke himself. He had been so stupid. He hated himself. He had been doing his job and it had backfired. He had been dispatched to settle the dispute between two planets and he had merely done what was right and had paid for it. It was not a good way to end a solo mission, especially because he had needed his Master to come and save him.

He felt ashamed. Qui-Gon deserved a better Padawan than one who ruined every mission that came along. He let out his breath and tried to release his anger to the Force, but it wouldn?t work. He didn?t hate Tangar. He hated himself for being such a disgrace and for being so stupid.

He felt so tired and weak. He had allowed himself to be captured, allowed himself to be tortured. He should have fou

 

Nice wonderful story I was in tears.

 

That was very good. I think you expressed Obi-Wan's character quite well.

~Cal

 

I don't normally read song fics, but this one was beautiful! You very nicely portrayed Obi-Wan's fears and pains.

Excellent job, Krystal.

 

Patty: Then I have done my duty. I hoped to evoke strong emotion in this fic. I'm glad you read it and enjoyed it. Thanks.

Calayka-Bele:First off, I love the name. Your comment meant so much to me. I like to call my viginettes and song-fics "Character studies" and thanks for expressing that to me.

Obi the Kid: Whew-whoo! I'm glad you found this and enjoyed it. It means so much to me that you liked it. I'm flattered.

Thanks for the reviews, guys!

 

Thanks. I'm rather fond of it myself. Do you have anymore fics in mind? If so I'd love to read more of your work once you post it. Keep up the great work!

~Cal

 

Wow, breathtaking. That was beautiful, Krystal. You portrayed the emotions prefectly. I love this fic, and you got into Obi-Wan's head and character perfectly.

 

Jess: Thanks a lot, Jess! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Your input is always valuable to me.

Calayka: I'm glad you've expressed interest in my stories. Check out my bio. I've got a chalk load of them in there.

 

Oh poor Obi one day we'll write a nice mission for him where he doesn't get beaten, blinded and just bascially abused. I love this fic, this is defiently one of the best Obi torture fics here!