Saga The Lightsaber up his Sleeve (**Final Post** & Author's Note)

Title: "The Lightsaber up his Sleeve"
(Later: "The Imperial Lightsaber up his Sleeve")
Subtitle: The Saber wasn?t secure enough
Author: Palpy560
Characters (Major Players): Palpatine, Count Dooku, General Grievous, Yoda, Obi-wan, Anakin, Padme and Mace.
Summary: What would happen if Palpatine dropped his Lightsaber? This Screw ball comedy takes our heroes and villains to situations of anger, hatred, love, lust, bickering, sorrow and baked goods.
Type: Humor (insane comedy and siliness)
Notes: The character names are shortened to one, two or three letters for faster updates. The major players are:
P: Palpatine (DS-Darth Sidious)
CD: Count Dooku
O: Obi-wan
A(Later: DV): Anakin/Darth Vader
GG: General Grievous
MW: Mace Windu
PL: Princess Leia
LS: Luke Skywalker
GMT: Grand Moff Tarkin
HS: Han Solo
Chewie
JTH: Jabba the Hutt
BF: Boba Fett
Lando
Sidious Inc Guys: Any of Palpatine's higher up minions who don't necessarily have a name of their own. (Such as those guys on the second Death Star)
Your sugestions are a big help, do not hesitate to post them. At times I will ask for your opinions on character Guest Spots and situations.
Credits to LLL and all the guys over at the Fan-fic resource Palpatine character discussion thread, for the topic that started it all. Tangled_Sphere, thanks for making me create more than a one-post comedy.


P: Get help your no match for him he's a sith lord.
O: Chancellor Palpatine....Whose lightsaber is that?
P: Not mine, I don't know anything about....
O: Anakin, that's a sith blade alright, you've been Practicing the Dark Side again.
A: That's not mine.
CD: Your swords please.
A: Hold on a minute.
O: Well if its not yours, and its not mine, It must be count Dooku's.
CD: Mine is right here gentlemen.
P: Well it would seem that someone in this room is a sith lord as well.
A: I will quickly discover the truth of all this.
P: You have great wisdom Anakin.
O: What are you talking about, he can't even tie his own boot laces.
CD: Can we please fight now?
P: Shut up Tyranus
O: What?
A: Huh?
P: oh, ha ha, I knew he was a sith lord, like a told you.
A: right.
O: naturally. But we are still no closer to figuring out whoose lightsaber that is.
A: It's pretty though.
O: Yes, look at the gold rings and blade guard.
P: Obviously this Sith lord has excellent taste.
CD: He has more than one.
A: Really that's awesome. I wonder what the other one looks like.
P: It's silver plating and more gold rings. It's a bit smaller.
A: How did you know?
P: My mentor tought me everything about lightsaber making. Even the nature of sith design.
A: cool.
O: I should inform the council. This lightsaber could belong to the mysterious sith lord Darth Sidious.
P: Ya think?
CD: This head isn't going to cut itself off.
GG: General Kenobi, we've been WAITING for you. Haven't you finished off Count Dooku yet?
A: Hold on, someone's lightsaber is here, and we don't know who it belongs to.
P: It belongs to Grievous.
GG: Never seen it before. (Cough cough)
Battle Droid: that's a sith lightsaber alright.
P: Brilliant droids general.
GG: You are a bold one Chancellor.
A: Leave him alone.
GG: Jedi Scum (cough cough)
CD: This doesn't happen until after you kill me.
O: You kill Count Dooku?
A: No
P: Yes he does, I like it too.
O: sick.
A: Chancellor, You weren't supposed to tell him.
O: Oh so you have secrets Anakin.
A: No
CD: He likes Senator Amidala. I saw them in the Arena Battle.
A: You leave her out of this.
GG: (Cough Cough)
P: Goooood
O: What
Y: Faith in your new apprentice....
P: They didn't kill him yet.
A: How'd you get here anyway.
Y: Surprised?
CD: I am confused.
P: ENOUGH, it was mine!!!!! That's my Lightsaber. I am Darth Sidious, Anakin was supposed to kill Count Dooku on my request, I was supposed to kill Master Windu and all his buddies using that very weapon, Anakin was supposed to be knighted and we were supposed to trash the senate

 

LOL! Great loved it in the Palpy thread! Glad you posted it here!

Lost the notification papers! Good one!

 

LOL thanks Kyns. I was going to add a part where Palpatine is trying out different numbers and codes, but I thought that would take too long.

 

That was hilarious. Very entertaining to read.

CD: This doesn't happen until after you kill me.
O: You kill Count Dooku?
A: No

Excellent work.

 

This was funny.

Sly Moore: Chancellor, I am sorry to hear about what happend.
P: Thank You.
ALL: She talks?!

Bravo! I love Sly.

 

great, very funny

 

So it makes its appearance on the Saga board!

As well it deserves.

 

I am a Sith, but I must say, Palpy deserves every bit of this.

Wonderful!

Ani-maniac

 

LOL one little slip can sure change and reveal a lot of things!

Nice!

 

This is hilarious!

 

O: I should inform the council. This lightsaber could belong to the mysterious sith lord Darth Sidious.
P: Ya think?
CD: This head isn't going to cut itself off

oh dear god that was good...

 

Hilarious! I am so glad you posted this!

Loved the Judge's sentencing, including the cough syrup for GG.

And...Palpy asks Yoda if he can say anything right! Yes.

I wouldn't mind more! *hint, hint*

 

LOL ha ha, I can come up with this stuff on a whim.
You'll get more somehow, I assure all of you.

 

For tangled_sphere and the rest of you.
----------------------------Later: Palpatine meets secretly with Clone Commanders in Detention Lock 55-ABCDEFG-Jedi123Temple-Wing35
P: 67?
(Clones dance)
68?
(Clones do their best impressions of Obi-wan)
57?
(Clones put Ketchup on everything in sight)
Oh this is getting me nowhere. Are you sure you don?t remember the number.
CD: I think it was in the 100?s.
P: Oh, great, Order 100 doesn?t have the same ring to it does it?
(Clones play dead)
CD: Oh that?s a funny one, who gave them that order?
GG: I think it was programmed into them by Viceroy Gunray (Cough)
P/CD: Figures.
So does 66 have any significance?
CD: No, but it would have caused them to turn against us.
P: Brilliant.
GG: Really? (Cough)
P: No.
CD: Well at least I get more screen time.
GG: Me too.
P: Relax I have a plan.
GG: Cool (cough)
P: Tomorrow evening Lord Maul will get into town.
GG: I thought he was dead. (cough)
P: No we rebuilt him with spider legs.
GG: I thought that was a fan-boy rumor.
P: Yes, dear fan boys. Anyway, he will get us out of here for some time once our bail is paid. Then, we must deduce the code to convince the clones to destroy the Jedi. Once that is done, the galaxy will be mine???ours.
---------------------------------------------------------------Later: Senate: Palpatine & Company has been realeased thanks to Darth Maul?s quick cash.
P: Dear friends, the justice system of the republic is slipperay at best it has allowed me to walk free for the time being. Can you beat that injustice? I would now like to formally denounce these two villains in front of this body. Dooku can be such a sly old fox, he forced my hand.
CD: Oh, no you don?t.
GG: (cough)
Senator: Hey, he didn?t take his court-ordered cough medicine!
P: I would also like to say that I am no longer a Sith Lord.
(Lightsaber falls out of his sleeve during wild hand gesture)
Run!
(Palpy and company jump into the first speeder they see.)
A: Oh no.
P: Anakin my boy, wonderful, perhaps you can give us a lift.
A: No can do, Padme needs to get to the hospital. She?s having the baby.
P: Oh good lord.
GG: (cough)
CD: Can?t get any worse gentlemen.
(Yoda is spotted following on a speeder bike, with Obi on Boga close behind)
Y: closing in on the villains we are.
O: Master, That?s Anakin?s speeder. And Padme is in the back seat, crammed in between Count Dooku and Chancellor Palpatine.
Y: Dangerous and disturbing this situation is.
Padme: can?t you go any faster Anakin???!!!!
A: Stop, I?m going the speed limit.
Padme: This is an emergency.
A: Would you please be quiet.
CD: That?s no way to speak to a lady.
A: Oh your so proper right?
P: Anakin he?s right. In any case we must obey the traffic laws of the Republic my dear, otherwise I?ll have to go to driving school as well as finish out my term.
GG: Not to mention we?re jumping bail. (Cough Cough)
Y: Pull over you must, Anakin.
A: No.
CD: Couldn't you wear the saber on you're belt next time?
P: But the sleeve is so much cooler.
To Be Continued.

 

LOL! Not supposed to speak to a lady like that! How quaint of Dooku! Isn't he such a sweetie!

Priceless Anakin actually going the speed limit! Oh great work!! Loving it! Glad my Padawan sis got ya to do more! Way to go sis!

 

This is so funny!

I love the idea of the lost order sheet and trying different codes with results!

Can't wait for more!

 

Jus found it and funny or wot

 

LOL, Palpy and his stupid sleeves.

 

i hope this shows you how much i loved your work)

 

Thank You all. This is my first authored topic and I never dreamed it would be so well recieved. You have driven me to create more and more in this thread. I hope you continue to enjoy it.
If you have any sugested topics/situations you might like to see done here, let me know or PM me. (PG ratings mind you )

 

-----------------Still in Anakin's car (err....Speeder) Traffic is Bad. Grievous is coughing more and Yoda and Obi are still on the chase.
GG: (Cough Cough spew-hack)
P: My lord, you really should have done what the Judge told you.
GG: (Cough)
Padme: Why aren't we moving??
A: Geesh, it's not me, look at the stand still traffic.
Padme: It's never your fault is it? Not even the dancing slave girl. (slaps Anakin from the backseat)
A: aah, gee, I told you to let that go.
P: The girl's always right my boy.
A: Whose side are you on? I mean seriously?? You play both sides of every conflict in the universe. I'm so sick of it.
GG: Me (Cough) too.
CD: Me three.
Padme: We don't have all the time in the universe here Ani, the baby!!
A: I KNOW, God you make me so mad some times.
P: oooh Angaah!
A: That's really getting old.
P: oh really? (zaps Anakin with lightning)
A: Don't make me kill you.
CD: But no one here is loyal to the republic so we're not your enemies.
A: Hey, I'm loyal to the Republic.
Padme: Yeah speak for yourself Count.
P: I believe that was from a later scene.
GG: Oh I die before then what happens???? (cough)
P: Oh, he chokes Padme and starts yelling like a little boy about how she was his and .....
Padme: You choke me????
CD: That can't be good for you now my dear. Here let me make you a bit more comfortable, move over Grievous!
A: Hey hey, she's mine.
GG: Ha ha ha (cough)
CD: Obviously you don't care for her enough right now.
P: Oh not again, Dooku did this to me before too. Remember that night on Tatooine, we were hanging out with the Lars family and you started going on and on about How I wasn't treating shmi right....
A: Huh?????!!!!!
CD: Yes it's true, he dated your mother during the 10 year gap between episode I and II.
A: Why you--!!!
(Anakin turns around and starts to strangle Palps, soon the speeder spins out of control, everyone in the car talks (or coughs ) at once.
Y: hmmm hmmm hmmmm Car trouble Anakin has.
O: That's not funny master, they could be in serious danger.
Y: Take all the fun out of life, you do.
(The speeder lands safely at the hospital thanks to its preset coordinates. During the time however, Anakin was speeding)
Officer: My I see some ID.
A: I'm the poster boy, you know, the hero with no fear, you must have scene me on the holo-net.
P: Yes, he was quite the hero.
CD: Shut up, we'll be back in the slammer. This lady is about to have a baby.
Officer: right this way ma'm.
-------------------------------------Later: Hospital Room
Padme: I'm thinking Luke
A: No I don't like that name.
Padme: what about the girl?
A: I like--
CD: Asajj
P: They are not gonna name her after a sith witch. But if they did....Imagine the possibilities, A sith queen, who could rule the galaxy with angaaw fear, hatred.
GG: Your twisted (cough)
Nurse Droid: Here, let me give you some cough syrup.
GG
CD: I think the General just found someone special.
ALL: AWWWWWWW
GG: You know, I command a deadly army of Battle Droids.
Nurse Droid: ooh, that's so interesting.
-----------------------------------------------------

 

LMAO!! Grievous has found him a woman!! LOL!!

OH MY GOODNESS! I loooved this one! How so freakin' funny! Palps dated Shmi!!

Good job! It gets better and better!

 

It seems that Padme's hormones are getting the better of both her and Anakin. . But then again, consider the situation they're in. Padme was already feeling the woes of pregnancy, couple that with the fact that the evil trio just welcomes themselves into their speeder, and then have to deal with traffic...hey I think I'd bicker too.

And Grievous seems to have found his own love. Maybe now he'll take his cough medicine.

 

Ha ha!!



oh this is just wonderful my friend, I am so glad I discovered this.

*rolls around floor laughing*

I really enjoyed how it started..and then Dooku saying his head wasnt going to be cut off all by itself... hahahh...

*another fit of laughter*

and then the notifications sheet, and the code mix up.. LOL...

Yoda telling Obi-Wan he takes all the fun out of life..

and Grievous chatting up the nurse droid!!

hahahahaha....

*giggles uncontrollably*

I can see it all in my head. Thank you so much for the laughs, and I do hope you update very soon!

It would be so nice if you could PM me. Please?

 

I think that's it for now. I'll be on later tonight.
Check back for an update then.
hmmm....I definatly created a monster.
I too can see this all in my head, that's why it's so funny.
Couple that with some JW music. Now that's really hilarious.
BTW, I am cracking myself up too.
hmmm, I seem to be getting quite a following here.

If anyone is on in between, which of the following would you like to read/laugh about? I can come up with either one right on the spot.
A. More Hospital shananingans with the whole cast.
B. Palpatine tries once again with the clones (more results)
C. Padme and Anakin's divorce trial (revelations)
Vote away!