Beyond THE LIVING FORCE (NJO: Anakin Solo, Jacen, Jaina, Tahiri, H/L, L/M, Kyp, more) Completed 1/7/05!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by YodaKenobi, Jun 21, 2004.

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  1. green_eyes Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 20, 2004
    star 3
    I'm really enjoying this story and I just wanted to take a minute to let you know that I'm reading and not lurking.

    *green_eyes*
  2. YodaKenobi VIP

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    May 27, 2003
    star 6
    FB: I'm interested to see what you've written now!

    :) cool.

    Magnuskn: Whaaaat? New fic? Already?
    YAY!


    Yeah, I'm going to try and write this one as I go, and work on a series as well that won't be posted for awhile. If I screw up, it's your fault :p



    TSF: Will you PM me so I can find it easily?

    How could I refuse when you bat your eyes that way? :p


    green_eyes: I'm really enjoying this story and I just wanted to take a minute to let you know that I'm reading and not lurking.

    Very much appreciated :) Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy the rest :D
  3. YodaKenobi VIP

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  4. _Jedi_of_Destiny_ Jedi Master

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    May 17, 2003
    star 4
    Empire of the Hand....so it continues off from your trilogy? Guess I have to finish that first. :D I can't wait to read it!

    Isn't that considered child abuse?

    If not it should be! I hate not having internet.

    Good news is that I have my license! Yay! Now I just need a car...lol
  5. YodaKenobi VIP

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    JOD: Empire of the Hand....so it continues off from your trilogy?

    Yup.

    Guess I have to finish that first. I can't wait to read it!

    :D


    If not it should be! I hate not having internet.
    Good news is that I have my license! Yay! Now I just need a car...lol


    Congratulations :) Driving is the best! Way better than walking :p




    I think I'll be starting on the series I have planned to follow this and EOTH up with [face_devil] Not sure when I'll get around to posting it, but I just thought I'd let you guys know 8-}
  6. Tahi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2002
    star 5
    Excellent news. :)

    Now for more belated reviews from old Slowpoke. ;)

    Chapter 25

    Leia was standing in front of the polished metal conference table, looking down at her smoldering master and the two former Shadow Academy students seated across from Callista
    Just a wee edit note here. You probably need to say "looking down at the smoldering expression on the face of her master." Your word order suggests that Callista is actually on fire. ;) Of course that would be great - but I don't think that's what you meant. LOL

    Security can't be that strong. I've seen you overcome greater difficulties than this."

    R2-D2 beeped in response.

    "Compliments from me are not rare," Threepio snapped. "I just rarely have a reason to compliment you."

    Heh heh. :D The droid dialogue is great. I also like the silence at the end denoting Artoo's lack of response. Poor old C3PO.

    Chapter 26

    Jaina's long brunette strands were matted beneath the crown of her headset and a wisp of it repeatedly stuck to the corner of her mouth, causing a minor annoyance.
    That was a nifty little bit of observation. :)

    It wasn't that Jacen didn't have a strong bond with it, and the seed-partners it had once been; Jacen imagined his bond had been stronger than the others. He was simply resisting the starship-- resisting what it's existence meant. Resisting what its existence revealed about Zonama Sekot's intentions.
    I like the conflict that Jacen goes through here - it's very true to character.

    "Tahiri! No," Anakin said, forgetting to use the young woman's callsign.

    "You?re the only ones who will be able to get through and you know it," Tahiri argued.

    Jacen heard the comm crackle as Anakin was about to respond, but he said nothing, leaving his comm open for several seconds as he desperately searched for any rebuke. Finally Anakin's comm clicked out as he silently conceded to Tahiri.

    Heh heh. You go girl. Teach that boy.

    "The entire attacking fleet has been destroyed; we did it."
    I like that little echo of ANH.

    That was a terrific space battle scene and it was good to see the three Solos working together, and especially good seeing Jacen being proactive. :)

  7. YodaKenobi VIP

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    Tahi: Excellent news.
    Now for more belated reviews from old Slowpoke.


    hehe :p

    Chapter 25
    You probably need to say "looking down at the smoldering expression on the face of her master." Your word order suggests that Callista is actually on fire. Of course that would be great - but I don't think that's what you meant. LOL


    Yeah, maybe you're right ;) obviously I meant it figuratively, like when you're watching ESPN and the analyst says "In the second half, Kevin Garnett exploded!"

    :p

    Heh heh. The droid dialogue is great. I also like the silence at the end denoting Artoo's lack of response. Poor old C3PO.

    Yeah, sometimes I think he just ignores poor Threepio :( :p

    That was a nifty little bit of observation.

    :D

    I like the conflict that Jacen goes through here - it's very true to character.

    Yeah, seems like he's always being pulled different directions.

    Heh heh. You go girl. Teach that boy.

    [face_laugh] Everyone knows who's really calling the shots.

    I like that little echo of ANH.

    Hadn't thought of that :D

    That was a terrific space battle scene and it was good to see the three Solos working together, and especially good seeing Jacen being proactive.

    Thanks :) I really wanted at least one part of the story where the three of them were fighting together again. Thanks for reading :)
  8. _Jedi_of_Destiny_ Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 17, 2003
    star 4
    Hey everyone!

    Still don't have internet permanantly but I might have it for the next couple days so I decided to post one of my one-pieces for now. It's called Downfall and its in THE SAGA forum. Yup, I'm branching out. ;)

    How is everyone? :D
  9. YodaKenobi VIP

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    May 27, 2003
    star 6
    So basically, you came here to advertise? [face_shame_on_you] [face_not_talking]



    :p

    I'm kidding of course, thanks for letting me know :) I rarely go to the Saga board so I wouldn't have seen it :)

    Hope you are able to be here regularly again :D
  10. _Jedi_of_Destiny_ Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 17, 2003
    star 4
    Of course! Yeah, you know how it is. 'It's a dog eat dog world...nevermind, u get the picture. lol :D

    I never venture into The Saga forum myself. [face_batting]

    Honestly, I didn't know how long my internet would hold out so I had to make each post quick.



  11. YodaKenobi VIP

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    star 6
    Of course! Yeah, you know how it is. 'It's a dog eat dog world...nevermind, u get the picture. lol

    Yeah, I know. Like I said, I was glad :D

    I never venture into The Saga forum myself.
    Honestly, I didn't know how long my internet would hold out so I had to make each post quick.


    I'm still expecting a full length fic from you [face_not_talking]
  12. Tahi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2002
    star 5
    Progress, progress. :)

    April 15

    Chapter 27

    Inside his cell, nothing had changed since the guards had brought his last meal. The sink dripped, the glow panels flickered every few minutes annoyingly, and the constant blue tint from the energy field sealing him in was driving Han crazy. But on the outside things were happening, forces were at play that would affect the fate of the entire galaxy
    That paragraph really stood out. I liked the comparison between the dinginess of Han's little cell room and the hugeness of things brewing in the galaxy at large. I can feel Han's frustration.

    "Thanks. One of the guards was able to hit the alarm before I could incapacitate him, but I don't think it went off."

    "Silent alarm?"

    "That's what I thought, and I was trying to shut it off, but the systems don't even recognize an alarm," Shada explained, gesturing to the controls. "It's been several minutes now and no one's showed up, so I guess it didn't work."

    "Strange," Han said thoughtfully.

    Uh oh. Now I have a bad feeling.

    Han realized he'd been staring. "Umm... well, the sauce... you smell delicious."
    ROTFL And who was it that condemned Chewie for thinking with his stomach?

    Yay! Ruu is still alive. There is justice in the GFFA after all.

    The Shamed One was grinning broadly... he was happy too.

    Then he felt it. Then he understood. The power... Corran knew their secret. He knew the secret.

    Hmmm. So Corran has made a connection. Is it that Shimrra uses a version of the Force? Interesting.

    Chapter 28

    Anakin could see blonde highlights in his brother's long hair and beard in the sunlight. "What about what it did?"
    I just can't kick the image of NJO Jacen as the Michael Palin refugee character at the start of each Monty Python episode. LOL

    "Yeah... I'm starting to realize why I feared it... why the Yuuzhan Vong fear it."
    Ah - so it's the Yuuzhan Vong part of Tahiri that made her react that way.

    The discussion between Nas Choka and Shimrra was very well written. I can't help wondering if Shimrra puts suggestions into the minds of his warriors, so that what they think are original ideas are, in fact, his ideas. Of course I could be completely wrong. LOL

    Tenel Ka was seated with the Jedi rather than taking her place amongst the Galactic leaders.
    Good old TK.

    Lando Calrissian, who had inadvertently become very important
    Oh I'm sure he'll find a way of coping.

    We will assemble our fleet into a wedge formation and drive through the first penetration corridor we create..
    Yay! The old flying wedge ploy.

    We also decided it would simply be a mistake to make bombing runs at the worldship and destroy it that way. We want there to be a body left, to prove that we actually killed the Supreme Overlord-
    Hee hee. Was that bit inspired by a certain event in recent politics?

    Luke's mouth fell open and he looked at his wife beside him in complete bewilderment. Mara had said nothing of the mission to him and the orange flowing hair shielded her face from Luke's piercing gaze. She wouldn't look at him.
    Uh oh! Not only are Tahiri and Anakin having communication problems, but so are the oldies.

    "This is what I am, Luke. I'm an assassin," she replied. "All those years of serving the Emperor... this is what they've prepared me for.

    "This thing started with me-- with Nom Anor and his coomb spores-- now I can end it."

    Now this is the Mara I know and like. Woohoo.

    Wow - a lot in that chapter, but I enjoyed every minute of it.






  13. Tahi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2002
    star 5
    April 16

    Chapter 29

    I feel for Tahiri, but it's good to see her being strong about her convictions.

    Awwww - beautiful scene between Anakin and Tahiri, especially the glimpse of the old Tahiri when she has him on about owing him a kiss.

    Anakin started to move away, trying not to trip over his own feet as his head swam.
    LOL That's our boy - one kiss and he goes from warrior to gumbie.

    no one wanted to play Kyp Durron. No one wanted to even pretend to be him. Given how much fun it normally was to be the bad guy, it probably spoke volumes about just how terrible a figure Durron was, when they had to play games of chance to decided who would be stuck playing Kyp.
    I liked this idea - getting into the heads of the Imp soldiers to see how the alliance between NR and Remnant affected them.

    The battle was laid out in the white mat of endless snow and the solid ceiling of gray that was the sky, like a tapestry steadily stained with black smoke and fire.
    Now that is a great image.

    He slaughtered Chazrach with a ferocious grace, dancing through their ranks with intensity, yet as if he were unafraid of their weapons... As if he knew they couldn't stab him.
    And so is that. Very Kyp-like too.

    Chapter 30

    Argh! It's that galactic bird of mystery - Vergere.

    The question hung in the air like the cold mist from the crashing waterfall.

    "If I have to choose, I will go to them," Jacen answered. "I have to; you know how I feel."

    Vergere looked remorseful. "Then there truly is no hope."

    Ooh! Shivery echo of the past. Now I see why you called the chapter "Specter of the past".

    Jacen smiled back and continued to walk beside the spirit of his teacher for the last time, into the darkened valley.
    The valley of the shadow - very biblical. Great final image for the chapter. :)
  14. YodaKenobi VIP

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    May 27, 2003
    star 6
    Geez, someone's been busy :p

    Tahi: Progress, progress.

    :)


    April 15
    Chapter 27
    That paragraph really stood out. I liked the comparison between the dinginess of Han's little cell room and the hugeness of things brewing in the galaxy at large. I can feel Han's frustration.


    Yes, it would be pretty nerve racking to know your family and everything you care about were in danger while you were locked up by your own wife.

    Uh oh. Now I have a bad feeling.

    Nah, a couple chapter before, R2-D2 deactivated the alarm :)

    ROTFL And who was it that condemned Chewie for thinking with his stomach?

    [face_laugh] If Chewie could see him now!

    Yay! Ruu is still alive. There is justice in the GFFA after all.

    Does anyone really care about him? :p I really should have developed the Shamed Ones better in these stories and given them actual personalities. I think at the time though, the stories just seemed too long already.

    Hmmm. So Corran has made a connection. Is it that Shimrra uses a version of the Force? Interesting.

    You won't actually find out until the end ;)

    Chapter 28
    I just can't kick the image of NJO Jacen as the Michael Palin refugee character at the start of each Monty Python episode. LOL


    [face_laugh]

    Ah - so it's the Yuuzhan Vong part of Tahiri that made her react that way.

    Yup, but she doesn't really know why yet ;)

    The discussion between Nas Choka and Shimrra was very well written. I can't help wondering if Shimrra puts suggestions into the minds of his warriors, so that what they think are original ideas are, in fact, his ideas. Of course I could be completely wrong. LOL

    Nope, you're at least half right :p

    Good old TK.

    :D

    Oh I'm sure he'll find a way of coping.

    Yes, we know how he hates attention :p

    Yay! The old flying wedge ploy.

    [face_laugh] Antilles always gets nervous when that plan comes up :p

    Hee hee. Was that bit inspired by a certain event in recent politics?

    I wrote it about a year ago, so it depends on how "recent" you mean. If you're talking about speculation earlier during the Afgan and Iraq wars about Bin-Laden or Hussein being killed in bombing runs and the world never knowing for sure if that happened, I may have had that in mind.

    Uh oh! Not only are Tahiri and Anakin having communication problems, but so are the oldies.

    I somehow don't see Mara as the best communicator [face_thinking]

    Now this is the Mara I know and like. Woohoo.

    :D

    Wow - a lot in that chapter, but I enjoyed every minute of it.

    Yeah, it was a long one. And thanks :D :)



    April 16
    Chapter 29
    I feel for Tahiri, but it's good to see her being strong about her convictions.


    Yes. We'll find out if she made the right choice.

    Awwww - beautiful scene between Anakin and Tahiri, especially the glimpse of the old Tahiri when she has him on about owing him a kiss.

    Savor the mush, there isn't much there :p

    LOL That's our boy - one kiss and he goes from warrior to gumbie.

    [face_laugh]

    I liked this idea - getting into the heads of the Imp soldiers to see how the alliance between NR and Remnant affected them.

    Thanks :) I knew early on that I wanted a few scenes from the regular soldiers POV so they don't become meaningless casualties like I failed to do with the YV shamed ones.

    Now that is a great image.

    It was a very cold winter when I started thinking about this fic and I remember looking up one day and there weren't any visible clouds, but the whole sky was solid grey, so that's where that came from.

    And so is that. Very Kyp-like too.

    Yes, Kyp Durron killing things? It's what he's famous for!

    Chapter 30
    Argh! It's that galactic bird of mystery - Vergere.


    I actually sort of like her :p At least until DW sort of ruined the character, IMO.

    Ooh! Shivery echo of the past. Now I see why you called the chapter
  15. Tahi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2002
    star 5
    Antilles always gets nervous when that plan comes up
    LOL There's a funny scene in The New Rebellion (I think) where Wedge predicts that Ackbar will use it when they're engaged in a sim.

    Yes I was thinking of both the Bin-Laden situation and Sadam Hussein. (Don't know if you're a Bush supporter or not - have to be careful with political stuff - but my son passed on a joke that suggested that the whole Iraq situation could have been avoided if Bush and Hussein had simply swapped places. Then Bush could have all the oil he wants, and Hussein all the weapons of mass destruction. :D )

    Well I guess if Vergere is Judas, then Jacen can be doubting Thomas. ;)

    I tend to see biblical imagery in lots of things - I think a lot of writers use it without necessarily knowing where it comes from or even knowing they're doing it. It's pretty much a part of European/American culture so it gets passed into us by osmosis. :) But anyway - that bit reminded me of one of the Psalms - and as I particularly like Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes and Song of Solomon, I thought it was a nice image. :)




  16. YodaKenobi VIP

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    star 6
    LOL There's a funny scene in The New Rebellion (I think) where Wedge predicts that Ackbar will use it when they're engaged in a sim.

    I don't remember that, but the NR was pretty good, I should reread it sometime.

    Yes I was thinking of both the Bin-Laden situation and Sadam Hussein. (Don't know if you're a Bush supporter or not - have to be careful with political stuff -

    Of course I am. He's our president and I have pledged blind loyalty to him :p

    but my son passed on a joke that suggested that the whole Iraq situation could have been avoided if Bush and Hussein had simply swapped places. Then Bush could have all the oil he wants, and Hussein all the weapons of mass destruction. )

    Heh :p I don't remember getting any oil, but okay.

    Well I guess if Vergere is Judas, then Jacen can be doubting Thomas.

    [face_laugh]

    I tend to see biblical imagery in lots of things - I think a lot of writers use it without necessarily knowing where it comes from or even knowing they're doing it. It's pretty much a part of European/American culture so it gets passed into us by osmosis.

    That's a really good point, and I think you're probably right. I'm certainly not an expert on the Bible though. I haven't been to church since I was 14 when I was confirmed :p

    But anyway - that bit reminded me of one of the Psalms - and as I particularly like Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes and Song of Solomon, I thought it was a nice image.

    Yeah, I don't even have a favorite book. Revelations sounds pretty cool though :p





    Still haven't started the follow up series yet, but I am thinking of posting some sort of teaser here to give everyone an idea what it will be about [face_thinking] I saw a thread in Resource where people write movie style trailers for fics, maybe I'll do something like that :)
  17. _Jedi_of_Destiny_ Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 17, 2003
    star 4
    A follow up series wow. Cant wait for that. :D You have a lot of projects on your hands, huh? I, Jaina Solo, The Empire of the Hand, Beatles Parody! I'm having trouble writing one[/] fic. Cant imagine all that.

    But if you can, all the power to you. :)

    I know a bit about the Bible. I'd say Psalms in my favorite book. Very poetic and emotional. It's a very vivid book. Yeah, and I've noticed how people use bits and pieces of it unintentionally. :)

    Yeah, Revelation is good too. :) Some people don't like it, though. [face_shrug] I don't know.
  18. YodaKenobi VIP

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    JoD: A follow up series wow. Cant wait for that. You have a lot of projects on your hands, huh? I, Jaina Solo, The Empire of the Hand, Beatles Parody! I'm having trouble writing one fic. Cant imagine all that.
    But if you can, all the power to you.


    A sign I have way too much time on my hands :p

    I know a bit about the Bible. I'd say Psalms in my favorite book. Very poetic and emotional. It's a very vivid book. Yeah, and I've noticed how people use bits and pieces of it unintentionally.

    That's good :) I should probably read it someday. I tried it one night when I couldn't sleep but I don't know how far I got :p

    Yeah, Revelation is good too. Some people don't like it, though. [face_shrug] I don't know.

    I've never read it :p
  19. YodaKenobi VIP

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    star 6
    *Dusts off and hoists up* [face_batting]
  20. Rebel_Princess89 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 29, 2003
    star 1
    Looking for lurkers are you? ;)

    Well, I didn't exactly lurk here but I did read this after I started reading Empire of the Hand - I'll get round to delurking on that one tomorrow, I promise. [face_blush]

    Nothing much to say except it was really, really good. I also read Revolution and The Eight Cortex- both of them excellent. I didn't enjoy TUF that much actually, I liked this ending better. ;)

    Well done!! =D=

    Rebel Princess



  21. _Jedi_of_Destiny_ Jedi Master

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    May 17, 2003
    star 4
    [raises_hand_guiltly] I have been lurking on Empire of the Hand. Just until I catch up that is. :p
  22. YodaKenobi VIP

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    You're right, Rebel_Princess, I forgot to harass any lurkers who might be here. There's one day left so I'll just repost my offer from EOTH:


    Oh, and TKL has organized a "Lurker appreciation week" starting today, including "buttons" and special days, so I would like to say if there is anyone reading this fic who is too shy to post, that I do appreciate them reading it :) Feel free to join in the fun if you want to ;) As Anakin might say:

    [image=http://myweb.cableone.net/agentj/starwars/images/anilurk.jpg]

    Today is "Hug a Lurker Day" so: [:D] [:D] [:D]

    And I am willing to go further than hugging [face_mischief] [face_batting]



    Thanks to agentj for making that "button" for me on request :)


    :p



    Rebel_Princess: Looking for lurkers are you?

    Maybe ;)

    Well, I didn't exactly lurk here but I did read this after I started reading Empire of the Hand - I'll get round to delurking on that one tomorrow, I promise.

    Don't worry, there's no hurry :)

    Nothing much to say except it was really, really good. I also read Revolution and The Eight Cortex- both of them excellent. I didn't enjoy TUF that much actually, I liked this ending better.

    Thanks, and that is a lot of reading to do just to be able to read EOTH [face_laugh] And I'm afraid it goes down hill from here anyway :p

    Well done!!

    Thanks again :D *is still envious that RP gets to be a character in oldj's story*




    JoD: [raises_hand_guiltly] I have been lurking on Empire of the Hand. Just until I catch up that is.

    That is unacceptable and you know it, Lauren! You can post even if you're not caught up :p
  23. skywalker64089 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 16, 2005
    star 3
    [face_hypnotized] I've been working on this for two days. Started with the first story and have read myself up to this point. Absolutely amazing. I couldn't stop reading.

    [face_praying]


    S.
  24. _Jedi_of_Destiny_ Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 17, 2003
    star 4
    That is unacceptable and you know it, Lauren! You can post even if you're not caught up

    [face_blush]

    I know. Can you ever forgive me? :(
  25. YodaKenobi VIP

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    skywalker: I've been working on this for two days. Started with the first story and have read myself up to this point. Absolutely amazing. I couldn't stop reading.

    Wow, it took me a lot longer to get through it when I decided to read them :p Thanks so much for reading :D :)



    JoD: I know. Can you ever forgive me?

    I don't know if I can ever trust another human being again [face_not_talking]

    :p



    Okay, I'm going to try and work up a little fan-fic trailer preview thingy for the follow-up series. Maybe later tonight or tomorrow [face_thinking] Should give you guys a little hint of what's to come :)
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