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Before - Legends The Living Gift - Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, short story - complete

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by VaderLVR64, Aug 7, 2006.

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  1. Arwen-Jade_Kenobi

    Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 9, 2002
    Wow, breathtaking conclusion!
     
  2. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    dianethx Thank you, I'm glad you liked it. :)

    Valairy_Scot I was hoping to get people to think so I hope I did that! :p

    Veloz Thank you. This story was both difficult and easy to write. [face_thinking]

    Gkilkenny Thank you! :D

    Luminara_Kenobi I should be posting the epilogue tomorrow or the next day. I just need to edit. [face_blush]

    KELIA I hope so. :)

    Layren VERY soon, I promise! It's written, I just want to do some more editing.

    ardavenportI think it did help him.

    Jemmiah Ilbin really did help Obi-Wan see it from his perspective, I think.

    rebel_cheese I'm sure he will be! :D

    Arwen-Jade_Kenobi Thank you!



     
  3. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004

    Epilogue


    Qui-Gon was making arrangements for the transport that would take them back to Coruscant and Obi-Wan was packing his bags. As he looked around at the room they would soon vacate, his eyes felt gritty and raw. His sleep last night had been troubled by dreams of seeing Ilbin?s lifeless form on that altar again.

    In one particularly memorable dream, Ilbin had sat up and stared sadly at Obi-Wan. ?Do you understand now?? he had asked. ?I am free, and one day you will be free, too. Death is not the end, only the beginning. I will look forward to seeing you again, Obi-Wan Kenobi.? Then Ilbin had smiled and flickered out of existence, leaving the altar cold and empty. That one had left Obi-Wan slick with sweat and gasping for breath in his bed, hoping that Qui-Gon would not sense his turmoil. If his Master had felt it, he had made no mention of it.

    Now it was time to leave this planet, and though he genuinely liked Alixxy and Zim, he was glad to be leaving, knew that there were too many unpleasant memories for him here. Perhaps, in time, he could look back on this mission with a sense of detachment, but he had not reached that point yet. Master Qui-Gon seemed to know that he was still working it all out in his mind and had been content to avoid the topic in conversation, a mercy for which Obi-Wan was immensely grateful.

    A discreet knock on the door made him turn and after he called out, the door opened quietly and there stood Alixxy. She was pale, which made the three leaves painted on her cheek stand out prominently. Alixxy walked toward him and he saw that her eyes were rimmed with red, a sure sign of weeping, though he could see no evidence of tears at the moment. As she got closer, he saw that the skin around the green leaves was red and irritated.

    ?That?s a tattoo,? he said softly in surprise.

    Alixxy nodded. ?A sign of one related to a Living Gift who has gone Home,? she explained shortly. Her fingers moved up to the tattoo self-consciously. ?A sign of honor?so they say.? If there was a note of bitterness in her voice, Obi-Wan did not remark on it. If the events that had taken place here had affected him deeply, how much worse must it be for her, he wondered.

    ?I saw those marks on some at?? he shrugged, his words trailing off, exquisitely aware of what he could not say.

    Her lips twisted in what was supposed to be a smile, but she could not quite carry it off, so she turned away slightly, as if aware of her failure. ?All those who wear this mark are honored among our people,? she said quietly, her tone distracted. Then she turned back to him. ?We are highly valued as spouses, it seems.? That strange smile flickered once more and then disappeared.

    ?You would be of value no matter what marks you bear on your face,? Obi-Wan murmured and moved to take her hands in his. They were like blocks of ice and he found himself rubbing them, trying to infuse some of his own warmth into her flesh.

    ?You?re sweet, Obi-Wan,? she answered. ?I wanted to thank you before you left.?

    ?I didn?t do anything,? he protested.

    ?That?s not true,? she said with a shake of her head. ?You did so much that we can never thank you.?

    He hesitated and then spoke in a low voice, ?I?m sorry that I distressed your brother? I mean, by arguing with him.? Obi-Wan felt a blush heat up his cheeks and released her hands, suddenly feeling as if he was imposing on her grief, no matter that she had come to him.

    Unexpectedly, Alixxy stood on her toes and placed a chaste kiss on his cheek, which reddened further in reaction. ?You cared about him, and I thank you for that, Obi-Wan.? Then she turned and began to walk away, but when she got to the door she stopped and looked over her shoulder. ?I?ll never forget you, Obi-Wan ? your or your Master.?

    ?I?ll never forget you or Ilbin?or the lesson he taught me,? Obi-Wan replied. ?Thank you?for everything.?

    She gave one nod of her head and opened the door, leaving him. Obi-Wan would never see her again.


    ~~~~~~~~~~~~



    Obi-
     
  4. Veloz

    Veloz Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 30, 2004
    Awesome =D=

    I can completely see this translating into how Obi Wan let go of himself in ANH... i simply loved this fic.

    Tnx so much for writting it, and great job :D

    [face_peace]
     
  5. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2005
    Oh, wonderful!

    ?You did well, Obi-Wan,? Qui-Gon said softly. ?I?m proud of you.?

    That had not been at all what Obi-Wan had expected, and he blinked at his Master in astonishment. ?I don?t understand, Master. All I did was argue with you the entire time,? he said in a shamed voice. ?How can you be proud of me??

    Qui-Gon smiled. ?You argued because you cared, Obi-Wan,? he said. ?Surely that can only please me??

    ?A Jedi does not allow his feelings to interfere with a mission,? Obi-Wan reminded him, his chin jerking up a bit as if defying Qui-Gon to contradict him.

    ?Most Jedi do not,? Qui-Gon replied with a nod. ?But I am pleased that you know when to trust your heart and when to trust your head.?

    ?A Jedi does not know emotion,? Obi-Wan said woodenly.

    ?A Jedi should know emotion, just not let it control him,? Qui-Gon corrected and then he gave a dry smile. ?At least, that?s how I?ve interpreted that ideology for myself,? he confessed.

    Obi-Wan returned the smile. Then his expression grew solemn. ?That was very hard, Master,? he whispered. ?I?ll never forget what happened there.?

    ?And that is as it should be, Padawan,? Qui-Gon said approvingly. ?Take what you learned there, carry it within you. It will make you a better Jedi?and a better man.?


    Very understanding of Qui-Gon, and very hard but a great learning experience for Obi.
     
  6. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    I'm glad that Obi-Wan came to terms with it and that you had some foreshadowing of Obi's own death and afterlife. I'm also glad that Qui-Gon was happy that Obi-Wan was arguing with him - showing that he cared about the people there.

    Good job.
     
  7. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 28, 2003
    Awwww such a nice ending, so very sweet.

    Love that Obi-Wan came to terms with what had happened and nice foreshadowing there, marvelous job. Excellent job, hoping to see more Qui/Obi fics from you ;)

     
  8. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2004
    Very nice story and a wonderful ending.

    Thank you for sharing your stories.=D=
     
  9. Luminara_Kenobi

    Luminara_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Sep 6, 2006
    Lovely, just lovely! @};-
     
  10. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 2005
    What a lovely ending.

    It seems as if Obi-Wan has finally found peace, though it came painfully.

    wonderful job on this

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
     
  11. rebel_cheese

    rebel_cheese Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 6, 2006
    He knew he only imagined it, but from somewhere far beyond anything he had ever seen, he heard a quiet voice answer, ?You?re welcome?? There was a pause. "Remember, this is only the beginning."

    Very cryptic, but it fits, considering the life Obi is going to have.

    Truly awesome ending. I'm glad Obi has finally found peace. =D=

    Thank you for writing this. This story has been an awesome experience to read.
     
  12. Independence1776

    Independence1776 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Feb 3, 2006
    I am so sorry for not responding earlier, but DRL took over.

    This was a wonderful ending. I love the connection with ANH it forms. I especially love Qui-Gon's interpretation of that phrase, as it fits so much more with what I believe the Jedi should be like. Even knowing he was doing what he wanted/ needed, Ilbin's death = :_|

    Wonderful job! =D=
     
  13. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Veloz That's what I was going for, to show how all the things that had happened in Obi-Wan's life would have influenced the man he became at the end of it.

    Valairy_Scot Exactly! A VERY important lesson for him. :)

    dianethx I kept picturing Obi on Tatooine as an old man as I wrote that last chapter. :_|

    Layren I love writing those two! ;)

    Gkilkenny Thank YOU for reading!

    Luminara_Kenobi Thank you. [face_blush]

    KELIA As so often happens. :(

    rebel_cheese
    It was rewarding to write, so I'm thrilled to know that you enjoyed it! [:D]

    Independence1776 Stupid DRL! :mad: But thank you for your kind words! I really was trying to show the connection between the young man Obi-Wan was and the mature man he became, especially the man Luke knew.

    Thanks to everyone who read this! [:D]

     
  14. Valiowk

    Valiowk Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 23, 2000
    What an exquisite story, VaderLVR64! Such a thought-provoking story is a rare gem that I'm really glad to have found. I love the many twists that you embedded into the story - the revolt turning out to be not for the greater good; the ritual being peaceful, instead of bloody; the priestess of Shybyta being the sister of the Living Gift... It takes great skill for a writer to get their readers to sympathise with people who hold very different beliefs from their own, but you've done exactly that wonderfully. Thank you for an amazing read! :)
     
    Jedi Knight Fett likes this.
  15. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Valiowk Thank you so much. This story was very rewarding to write, especially since the characters were quite a departure for me. :)
     
  16. Darth_Yuthura

    Darth_Yuthura Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 7, 2007
    I'm sure you want criticism more than a compliment, but I wouldn't have been able to write it any better. I cannot get over the strength of characters when their greatest enemies are themselves. I especially liked the emotion you portrayed in the intense moments of the story. It gives more depth into the strength and weakness of the jedi. The best stories are the ones with the most controversial issues.
    I liked this story greatly. Thanks.
     
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