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Saga The longest journey (My first Kenobi viggie)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Darth_Laudrup, Jul 10, 2006.

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  1. Darth_Laudrup

    Darth_Laudrup Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2004
    THE LONGEST JOURNEY

    Title: The longest journey
    Author: Darth_Laudrup
    Timeframe: During Kenobis journey from Corruscant to Mustafar
    Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi
    Genre: Psychological drama
    Keywords: Doubt, sorrow, responsibility, regret & fear.
    Summary: Obi-Wan Kenobi remembers the past and thinks about the present and the future while he travels to Mustafar to
    confront his former Padawan.
    Notes: The characters are owned by George Lucas.

    With this fanfic I am attempting to start writing again. Originally my only idea was to write a viggie featuring only one character.
    I?ve found myself wondering what must have gone through Kenobis mind on his journey from Corruscant to Mustafar before, so I chose to make Obi-Wan Kenobi the character of this viggie and decided on trying to capture his thoughts, and feelings.
    I tried to show the confusion and despair that must have gone through Kenobi's head during this journey.

    I found this to be a lot harder than I had initially expected, and I would like to hear what you think.

    _________________________________________________________________________________________________________


    From his hiding place Kenobi could feel the elegant silver coloured ship leave the atmosphere of Corruscant and make the jump to Hyperspace.

    The former hero of the Republic, General in the Grand Army of the Republic as well as member of the Jedi Council had just been declared a traitor of the First Galactic Empire and was secretly on his way to Mustafar.

    Knowing full well that this journey would be the most important journey of his life, Kenobi attempted to collect his thoughts and prepare himself for the trials that lay ahead. The trials of meeting and most likely having to try and kill his best friend Anakin Skywalker, the man who had been like a brother to him and who had now embraced the Dark Side of the Force and become Darth Vader. Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith and murderer of an unknown number of Jedi? even Younglings.

    ?If only Padme wouldn?t have to be there when I confront Anakin. If only she didn?t have to see the monster Anakin has become? Kenobi thought, remembering the way Padme?s eyes used to light up and the smile on her face every time she looked at or talked about Anakin.

    But as clearly as he remembered Padme?s happiness, he also remembered the expression of sorrow, disbelief and pain on her face when he had told her about the crimes committed by Anakin. The betrayal and the murder of the Jedi Younglings had almost caused her to break down.
    ?Padme is a strong woman, but I don?t believe she will be able to handle the shock of what the man she loves has become. How will she handle meeting Darth Vader?? Kenobi thought touching his beard and closing his eyes.

    ?Darth Vader?? just thinking the name made Kenobi sick to his stomach. The name brought back horrible images of dead Jedi and an almost unbearable feeling of betrayal and failure.

    ?Times change? Master Jinn had told him on several occasions. But he had never imagined that things would change so much in such short a time.

    ?How could we have been so stupid? so blind? so ignorant, when the truth was right there in front of us the whole time?? he asked himself barely managing to keep his voice low, feeling angry with both himself, the Council and the entire Jedi Order for falling into the trap and being manipulated by Palpatine.

    ?A Dark Lord of the Sith was walking around right in front of us, being elected as Supreme Chancellor of the Republic and we didn?t even see it.? Kenobi felt like shouting but still managed to keep his voice low. His frustration made him slam his fist into the steel wall, barely noticing the pain, in an attempt to somehow vent the anger & frustrations he felt.

    Trying somehow to calm down and forget, knowing very well how futile it was, what he had seen on the Jedi Temple security recordings, he let his thoughts drift back through time.

    He still remembered as vivi
     
  2. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Very nicely done! =D=

    Kenobi?s line of thought was interrupted as he felt the ship set down on the landing platform on Mustafar. About a minute later he heard the doors of the ship open and he once again sensed the despair, fear and sorrow felt by Padme as she left the starship and walked down the ramp.

    Lovely!
     
  3. VA_Parky

    VA_Parky Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 10, 2005
    You certainly get two thumbs up from me, Darth_Laudrup!! I am very impressed!

    For me, this passage summed up Obi-wan's entire situation beautifully:

    ?Darth Vader?? just thinking the name made Kenobi sick to his stomach. The name brought back horrible images of dead Jedi and an almost unbearable feeling of betrayal and failure.

    ?Times change? Master Jinn had told him on several occasions. But he had never imagined that things would change so much in such short a time.

    ?How could we have been so stupid? so blind? so ignorant, when the truth was right there in front of us the whole time?? he asked himself barely managing to keep his voice low, feeling angry with both himself, the Council and the entire Jedi Order for falling into the trap and being manipulated by Palpatine.


    What a great peek into one of the most tumultuous times a person could ever experience! Very, very well done!!! =D=
     
  4. Darth_Laudrup

    Darth_Laudrup Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2004
    Thank you very very much. :)

    I was ofcourse hoping for positive feedback, but to be honest I never really expected people would like it. This was very very hard to write, but thanks to you I once again feel like picking up the pen and start writing more fanfic.


    I thank you both.
     
  5. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 2005
    You did a great job showcasing Obi-Wan's thoughts, feelings, regrets.

    I liked that he wished Padme didn't have to see what Anakin had become. He really was a true friend to her.

    Bravo!

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
     
  6. arbed

    arbed Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 24, 2004
    ?Darth Vader?? just thinking the name made Kenobi sick to his stomach. The name brought back horrible images of dead Jedi and an almost unbearable feeling of betrayal and failure.

    ?Times change? Master Jinn had told him on several occasions. But he had never imagined that things would change so much in such short a time.

    ?How could we have been so stupid? so blind? so ignorant, when the truth was right there in front of us the whole time?? he asked himself barely managing to keep his voice low, feeling angry with both himself, the Council and the entire Jedi Order for falling into the trap and being manipulated by Palpatine.

    ?A Dark Lord of the Sith was walking around right in front of us, being elected as Supreme Chancellor of the Republic and we didn?t even see it.? Kenobi felt like shouting but still managed to keep his voice low. His frustration made him slam his fist into the steel wall, barely noticing the pain, in an attempt to somehow vent the anger & frustrations he felt.

    I can totally imagine Obi-Wan thinking these exact thoughts once the truth of Palps was known. Nicely done.



    [/quote]
     
  7. Darth_Laudrup

    Darth_Laudrup Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 7, 2004
  8. Senator_Lorena

    Senator_Lorena Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Oct 21, 2003
    Great story!

    Obi-Wan's thoughts would have certainly been what you wrote. And your wrote the thoughts VERY well!

    ~SL~
     
  9. Veloz

    Veloz Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 30, 2004
    Good job Darth!... i think u captured Obi Wan well here, cause he blames himself for Anakin's fall... regardless of it really been his fault or not, i think it's natural for parents/mentors to wonder what they could have done to change things, when something goes wrong with their kids/pupils... i think this is key for Obi Wan.

    I also love how he was worried about Padme, and of course, the ending was awesome cause it ties great with the movie :)

    Feel free to share any other story u come up with, i'd love to check it out :D

    [face_peace]
     
  10. Earthknight

    Earthknight Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 3, 2002
    Hello there, Darth_Laudrup.

    I just read this viggie of yours and it was excellent=D= . The thing is I can actually picture Obi Wan thinking this as he's going to Mustafar to confront Anakin in RotS. You portrayed what he was probably thinking perfectly.

    Very nicely done, my friend.
     
  11. anakin_luver

    anakin_luver Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 2005
    Ah Laudrup! You posted it, I'm so glad!

    This was great, you should definitely write more stuff, I know I would be interested!

    I loved how Obi-Wan vented his anger, it goes to show that not everyone is perfect and that not all Jedi can control their emotions all the time; especially at a time like this for someone like Obi-Wan.

    Very nice, I enjoyed reading it. Great job!
     
  12. BigE

    BigE Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2002
    Master Yoda depends on me? Kenobi told himself.
    ?? and so does everyone else? he suddenly realised, feeling the weight of the entire Galaxy rest upon his shoulders.


    Very insightful, IMO. I imagine Obi-Wan did indeed feel that the weight of the entire Galaxy rested upon his shoulders at this point. =D=
     
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