Saga The Lost One - Post TPM / AU. Obi, Qui, OC.

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Wisdom, Jul 27, 2003.

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  1. Wisdom Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 11, 2003
    star 1
    TITLE: The Lost One

    AUTHOR: Wisdom

    TIME: Post-TPM, Mostly AU

    RATING: PG13 - For now.

    AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is basicly all AU. / / means thought, // // is communication between bond.

    Please R/R, this is my first fic. I could use the input.

    Qui-Gon Jinn walked through the palace, not noticing the line of elite guards lining the corridor.
    He had one focus. That feeling the force gave one when there was an untrained, force-strong person near.
    His duty on the planet Euphora had been to try to stop the civil war that the embattled monarchy and
    rebel faction were having, but it had not gone as planned. Instead of negotiations, as he was expecting,
    he had arrived and had to protect the King, Queen, and a powerful Lord from an attack on the palace.
    The King was killed in the attack from random fire. A prick from the force brought him back from his thoughts
    as he neared the room the force-strong person was in.

    As he neared it, the two guards at the door immediately pulled
    blasters but he immediately knocked the two against the next wall. He had no time for this.
    As he walked into the room he found the child surrounded by even more guards, but once again he knocked them all
    out with the wave of a hand. He quickly grabbed the child and hurried out, masking himself with the force.

    //Padwan, we need to leave. NOW!//

    Obi-Wan Kenobi was sprinting out of the palace as fast as he could, giving the Lady he was assisting no explaination.
    He had to hurry. //I'm coming Master.// As he neared the barren spot where the ship should be, he immediately stopped.
    All he had to do was look up. The ship was swooping down to pick him up. As soon as the landing ramp was down, he jumped
    into the ship and closed the ramp as fast as he could manage. He had to see what his Master, Qui-Gon Jinn had found that
    they had to leave so quickly. His master had already found that boy, Anakin Skywalker that had almost replaced him. Thank
    the force he hadn't. Mace Windu had taken Skywalker as his padwan so that Obi-wan would still have a master.
    He walked to the cockpit and found a bundle lying in the co-pilot's seat. "Master, what is this?" he asked, some-what curiously.

    "It is a force-strong, untrained child that was in the palace. With the current state of affairs I could not leave the child
    on the planet." Qui-Gon responded.

    "Master, this child belongs to someone!"

    "It had to be done Obi-wan, and it is for the best."
  2. PatttyB0123 RSA Latin America

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2003
    star 6
    Okay nice, but too short. You just got me with your story.
    Waiting for the next post.
  3. diamond_pony2002 Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Nov 6, 2002
    star 4
    MORE!!!!!!!!!! GREAT BEGINNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  4. jacen200015 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 11, 2002
    star 4
    More info and descriptions would be helpful. other then that this is a good plot you have.
    If you would like me to give you more advice then PM me and i'll help you out. :D

    May the Force be with you and your writing.
  5. Sara_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 21, 2000
    star 7
    This is an excellent first attempt. It was understandable, and a good read. I hope you continue along with this. :)
  6. Keeper_of_Swords Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2003
    star 5
    Interesting. Great start.
  7. diamond_pony2002 Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Nov 6, 2002
    star 4
  8. CrystalKenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 4
    This is great. Love how you have Mace training Anakin. Now we have QG taking another child. Interesting. I wonder what is going to happen next.
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