The Loyal Order Of Moffel 2.0

Discussion in 'EU Community' started by Wildwookiee, Jun 25, 2002.

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  1. Wildwookiee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2001
    star 4
    Good evening ladies and Gentilemen. I'll have to say, when I first joined the EU, there were two communities that brought me into the fold. The first was the Haters' Community, which seemed to die out after a long time. The second was another community...started not as a community, but as a group of people talking about the infamous book The Glove of Darth Vader.

    Now, in all honesty, I have never read the book, but after all the talk about it in the thread...I don't think I'll ever submit my mind to that kind of smut. However...one good thing came out of that book- Moffell. To explain about the loyal order of Moffell would take pages and pages...but right now, I am uttering a cry for all the previous LOYAL members of Moffell...to please sign in

    Wildwookiee-Moff in charge of little shiny knobs and switches...

  2. Protege-of-Thrawn Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2001
    star 6
    AlERT!

    I, the Offical Herald of MoffellTM and the man wearing the green lycra suit on the front of the Moffship of MoffellTM, PoT, have detected a FLAGRANT missuse of the Moffell TradeMark.

    Due to the inagural buerecratic red tape agreement forged by Boss Moff Brandl (Where is that bludger anyway?) and Semi-Uber Moff Trias not to long ago, all references to MoffellTM must carry the registered TradeMark.

    Any other violations will result in the dragonpac on Yoda's Stony Back being sent into a parellel dimension in all our canonical references!

    So how is everyone?

    Moff it on up!

    Make a song, make a story - from Hick Hunters to 'Life of a Moff' we've had them all! - or simply remember the first time you encounter the GODV books...


    I hope this is revived...

    May MoffellTM live forever, and remember, it's not confined to simply the GODV books! All forms of Cheesy EU can be laughed at, from Luke's love of "Hot Chocolate" to the consumption of "Topato's" at your local grocery store, it's all MoffellTM!

    Herald of MoffellTM,

    Protégé of Thrawn.
  3. Friend_of_Skylark Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    May 19, 2002
    star 5
    *walks in the door and looks around*

    oops I think I landed in the wrong thread. Go about your business. *Waves*
  4. Wildwookiee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2001
    star 4
    Yes...sorry about that oh bloated one of power...I seem to always forget the MoffelTM TM...oh well, I guess that's off to the sarlaac pit for me...

    waves as imperial guards drag him towards the door
  5. JediMasterAaron Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 14, 2000
    star 5
  6. Wildwookiee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2001
    star 4
    Sure...raise your left hand and cross your fingers...repeat after me: I, state your name, do solemly swear, to uphold the loyal order of the moffship, to bribe and steal planetary resorces...to be inherently evil, even to your own family. I also promise to NOT keep any promises...well intentioned or otherwise, I will conspire to build superweapons, and to destroy peacefull planets...so help you palpatine....


    there , I herby promote you to the Official MoffelTM Moff of the Watch...you are now entitled to all rights and priviliges there from...


  7. Fire_Light Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 5
    I, Fire_Light, do solemly swear, to uphold the loyal order of the moffship, to bribe and steal planetary resorces...to be inherently evil, even to my own family. I also promise to NOT keep any promises...well intentioned or otherwise, I will conspire to build superweapons, and to destroy peacefull planets...so help me palpatine....

    [mr.burns]Excellent[/mr.burns]

  8. Wildwookiee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2001
    star 4
    Fire_Light...you are hereby promoted to the be the Loyal Offical MoffelTM Moff of war...all new recruits, please add your title to your sig...with the Loyal MoffelTM TM...thankyou


    ;)
  9. MasterKitFisto Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 26, 2002
  10. Wildwookiee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2001
    star 4
    yes...just repeat the Loyal order of MoffelTM pledge...and you can be the Official MoffelTM Moff of devious scheming
  11. Protege-of-Thrawn Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2001
    star 6
    I'll post some of the good old songs of yester year -Moff(c)ly speaking of course - very soon...

    Hell, why not now eh?

    Songs by aldaric brandl
    The Call- Han Solo
    Let me tell you 'bout the flight that changed my destiny
    Me and the Wook went out just to end up with victory
    Was about to go off when this old man came up to me
    I said hi, I gotta little ship nearby, wanna go.
    I couldn't say no, Jabba was waiting for me
    So I called the Hutt up and said...

    Listen Jabba I'm sorry, wanna tell you don't worry
    I won't be late for that payment date you'll see
    Stormies here, I'm taking off, our power cells are low
    So you know, we're flying off with a Jedi
    Gotta go...

    "I agree. I like Corran, Kyle, and Kam.
    Why are they considered losers, but Kyp Durron, the Genocidal Nut, is still a Jedi? Because Luke doesn't want to admit he failed in his training of Kyp? He should've killed him when he had the chance.
    LOL, talk about the making of a boy band: Here's C.H., K.K., K.S., and K.D........ "- posted by Tiershon Fett.

    I like this idea. We could call it C3K or something like that.

    No Matter What by C3K (featuring the massed voices of the Imperial Armed Forces Choir*)
    Corran: No matter what they tell us,
    No matter what we do,
    No matter what they teach us,
    What we believe is true.

    Kam: If only Sith weren't fallen
    If only Dark was Light
    We have our chosen calling
    We wouldn't need to fight

    Kyp: I can't deny what I believe,
    I'll make the stars burn hot,
    Vast numbers of Imperials,
    We'll kill in wholesale lots.

    Kyle: If we were 3-dimensional,
    If we saw shades of gray,
    If we weren't trigger happy,
    Then we would hear Thrawn say...

    <Massed Voices of the Imperial Armed Forces Choir*>:

    You'd see that not all Imps are Sith,
    Or rabid, racist beasts
    You Jedi scum; mass murderers
    Should be kept on a leash

    <repeat to fadeout>

    *Imperial Armed Forces Choir led by Somewhat Impressive Moff Pah Varotti. Appearing courtesy of Moff Saretti, Superweapons Studios, Bastion.

    Apologies to Boyzone.

    Battle Hymn of the Moffship
    Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Moffs,
    They have trampled out the trash bag where Trioculous is stored,
    They have loosed the dreadful drivel of the glove of a Sith Lord,
    The Moffship blunders on!

    <chorus> Glory, Glory to the Moffship!
    Glory, Glory to the Moffship!
    Even Waru can't defeat it!
    The Moffship blunders on!

    I have seen the haunted faces of unfortunates who read,
    Who scanned its gruesome pages and with screams of horror fled,
    Which scarred some Star Wars newbies
    And enraged some Star Wars vets,
    The Moffship blunders on!

    I don't know what the authors smoked when drawing up the draft,
    But when I read the series I just have to take a bath,
    It taints entire Galaxies (at least it gives some laughs),
    The Moffship blunders on!

    Now "Moff"s become a swearword that has cut us to the core,
    So damn the bloody series and release the Moffs of war,
    CotJ was bad but that was merely a damned bore,
    The Glove is something worse

    Moff-elujah, Moff-elujah, hearts and voices Moff-ward raised
    Sing of Moffs devoid of glory, sing of Moffs lacking social grace
    Now the Empire?s back is broken, the Moff-dogs of war unleash?d
    Soon the Empire will surrender, unless Pellaeon is impeach?d

    Moff-elujah, Moff-elujah, a dirty plot doth now unfold
    Lead in crime by a Moff roughly ninety-eight-point-five years old
    By hiring a clone trooper and a really goofy con
    He?s going to make the Empire think that Thrawn isn?t really gone

    Moff-elujah, Moff-elujah, how did he become a Moff?
    When confront?d with his mug, how can anyone help but scoff?
    But he is not the worst offender, not by any measure
    Not when there are Moffs that think a severed glove?s a treasure

    Moff-elujah, Moff-elujah, no foe can oppose their might
    Even though their names are stupid and all of their lines are trite
    Scheming schemes and making speeches, the Moffs shall never quit
    Cruising through the
  12. JediMasterAaron Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 14, 2000
    star 5
    I, JMA, do solemly swear, to uphold the loyal order of the moffship, to bribe and steal planetary resorces...to be inherently evil, even to your own family. I also promise to NOT keep any promises...well intentioned or otherwise, I will conspire to build superweapons, and to destroy peacefull planets...so help you palpatine....

    I can feel the evil swelling within me already...

    JMA
  13. MasterKitFisto Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jun 26, 2002
    I, state you name, . . . sorry couldn't resist :D

    I, MasterKitFisto, do solemly swear, to uphold the loyal order of the moffship, to bribe and steal planetary resorces...to be inherently evil, even to your own family. I also promise to NOT keep any promises...well intentioned or otherwise, I will conspire to build superweapons, and to destroy peacefull planets...so help you palpatine....

    Do I get a uniform?
  14. Wildwookiee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2001
    star 4
    sure...just make sure that it has a ludicrous amount of awards and metals pinned to you...enough to say...shield a SSD.
  15. Protege-of-Thrawn Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2001
    star 6
    This is more then a title!

    TO be part of MoffelTM, you must a) pretend to create something great, when in fact your only putting the word Moff(c) in odd places.

    and of course

    b)discuss all things Moffed, from the GODV books to Hot Chocolate, even make a song or two, or a skit/story!

    Just make it corny!

    Too all of Moffell...

    I salute you!
  16. LtSticks Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 15, 2001
    star 3
    hello! Can i join? *pleading look*
  17. Protege-of-Thrawn Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2001
    star 6
    Why of course. Just read the above pledge, recite it, and you can become the Official kicka$$ chick of MoffellTM, to borrow from your Sig. ;)

    To all members, your membership will be revoked if you do not post something MOffed up at least once a week. For examples, please see the above songs which are part of the Myth of Moffell, the greatest minds who have graced our halls...

    weeps in rememberance.
  18. Yomin_Carr Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2002
    star 4
    *pops in*

    Moffship.... Mofference... GODV=funny...
  19. skawookiee Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 12, 2000
    star 4
    Wow! I'm so glad I came back to the EUM today. I, the official Guy In The Background of Moffell (TM) hereby sign in. Release the Moffdogs! Shall we start a new epic adventure of Bubba Fett?
  20. Genghis12 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Nov 18, 1999
    star 6
    I just have one thing to say...
      B O O Y A K A !!!!!
  21. skawookiee Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 12, 2000
    star 4
  22. LtSticks Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 15, 2001
    star 3
    Ok...

    I, LtSticks, do solemly swear, to uphold the loyal order of the moffship, to bribe and steal planetary resorces...to be inherently evil, even to your own family. I also promise to NOT keep any promises...well intentioned or otherwise, I will conspire to build superweapons, and to destroy peacefull planets...so help you palpatine....


    mwhahahahaha!!
  23. Wildwookiee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2001
    star 4
    Looks around at all the new Moffs

    This is moffin' righteous man...let's get the groove on...

    sits down after embarrassing himself with using two decades of slang in one sentence


    Yes...we need to have the continuation of Bubba Fett. I'll give you'se a tawpic... Bubba Fett, and the search for the glove of daddy vader...discuss
  24. skawookiee Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 12, 2000
    star 4
    HICK HUNTERS 3 (I think)

    BUBBA FETT AND THE HUNT FOR THE GLOVE OF PAW VADER

    Bubba Fett is standing outside of the local saloon drinking some of his famous Tatooine Sand Whiskey. With him are Old Man Kenobi and Sebubba, his old drinking buddies. As we join them, Bubba Fett's trusty Indian sidekick, Taun Taun-to rides up on his Taun Taun with a message.

    Bubba: Whadda ye want?
    Taun Taun-to: How. Big white man chiefs have job. They want see you bout big hokem job. They meet under moon at River.
    Bubba: Thank ye kindly. Now scram until I whistle for ye.
    Old Man Kenobi: Well Bubba, whaddaye say? Is you goin' tuh hunt fer this critter?
    Bubba: I reckon I'll meet 'im an' find out.

    Bubba meets with a mysterious cloaked figure at the river at midnight, just as Taun Taun-to had said. Old Man Kenobi and Sebubba surrounded the area and keep their rifles ready just in case there's trouble. Bubba takes a swig of his whiskey and begins negotiations...

    Bubba: What're you, yallow? Take off yer hood an let me take a gander at ye.
    Hooded Figure: Not just yet. Yew will know mah i den tuh tee, I ga-run-tee.
    Bubba: I dun figgered out who yew are. Yer that thar Gumbo Tarkin!
    Gumbo Tarkin: You are a smart lad, yes! I been sent by Palpy from his hood. He done wants yew tuh find the Glove of Paw Vader. I gots some o them thar special powers It wus-a-lost years ago, stolen by them rebuls. If ye find it, Palpy promises a big sack o money, I ga-run-tee!

    Will Bubba accept this new job to face off against the rebels and recover the Glove of Paw Vader? Can Gumbo Tarkin be trusted? Will we run out of stereotypes to use before this story is over? Where the heck is Batmoff? For answers to these questions and more, tune in next time for Hick Hunters: Lost Kitty of the Jedi!
  25. LtSticks Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 15, 2001
    star 3
    hello fellow moffs! today i have been moffing around looking important, and it felt gooood!
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