The Loyal Order Of Moffel 2.0

Discussion in 'EU Community' started by Wildwookiee, Jun 25, 2002.

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  1. Wildwookiee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2001
    star 4
    And the Lord said....

    Thou Shalt move thy thread UP...And it was so. and there was evening and morning the second day 2 Phalatians 11:23

  2. lexu Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2002
    star 6
    BUBBA FETT AND THE HUNT FOR THE GLOVE OF PAW VADER: PART II

    Bubba: Hum, thas some offer ya's got thar. Tell ol Palpy I assept!
    Gumbo Tarkin: Why, thas mighty-fine of ya's, Bubba! I oughts to be off, now. Ya'll hurry, now, ya hear? Palpy wants that thar glove in no more than ten moons by the coyot's flight past Ye Ol Big Rock. Ya's unerstan?
    Bubba: Why, I'll done have it brought to 'im in six moons by the rattlesnake's crossin' of the mighty Missouri!

    Gumbo Tarkin dissapears into the shadows and Old Man Kenobi and Sebubba come down from their perches.

    Kenobi: Wull, thar! Ya's reckon yews can get that thar spellin glove, Bubba?
    Bubba: Acourse I's can, ya ol fool!
    Sebubba: War da we start, huh boss?
    Bubba: Why, Sebubba, we start war we alwas start- at the tavern!

    The three make their way back to the tavern and take seats up at the bar.

    Bubba: Barkeep! Bring us soma yer finest whiskey!
    Barkeep: Here ya go, genlemen!

    Bubba takes a healthy swig and Kenobi and Sebubba follow suit.

    Bubba: My, thas some mighty fine whiskey! Now, whaddya know about that thar Glove O Paw Vader?

    The old time piano suddenly halts and the all the patrons cease talking to look at the newcomers. The Barkeep looks around, frightened, then leans in close.

    Barkeep: Why, Bubba, ar ya's crazy!? You best not be talkin 'bout that kinda trickery!
    Bubba: Why not?
    Barkeep: Ol Man Kenobi here knows!

    Bubba turns to Kenobi who stares down at his drink sheepishly.

    Bubba: Whaddya know, ol man!?


    Does Old Man Kenobi hold the key to uncovering the Glove of Paw Vader? Why does everyone fear this famous glove? How long is ten moons by the coyot's flight past Ye Ol Big Rock, anyway? Stay tuned to this Moffelicious thread for the exciting Mofftastic answers!


    I, lexu, do solemly swear, to uphold the loyal order of the moffship, to bribe and steal planetary resorces...to be inherently evil, even to my own family. I also promise to NOT keep any promises...well intentioned or otherwise, I will conspire to build superweapons, and to destroy peacefull planets...so help me palpatine....
  3. Wildwookiee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2001
    star 4
    Thankyou for your post Lexu...you can be the

    Official MoffelTM Outrageously Intellegent Mistress Moff, who dreams of ruling the planet after she bumps of the Boss Moff, staging a military coup, and swaying the masses to follow her, and one day govern an empire...The Moff who became a Mistress...the Mistress who became an Emperoress...the Emperoress who conqured a Galaxy...

    or we could just shorten it to

    The Mistress Moff Empress of MoffelTM
  4. Fire_Light Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 5
    <Tries to think of something moffrageous>

    Oh, I give up, I got moffing.
  5. skawookiee Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 12, 2000
    star 4
    Yes! A fine addition to Hick Hunters. I'll cook up a new addition and post it in a spell.
  6. lexu Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2002
    star 6
    The Mistress Moff Empress of MoffelTM

    Hmm... Yes, I am beautiful, brilliant, enchanting, and above all, power hungry.

    *Bows* Why, thank you. It was my pleasure to continue the timeless tale. I look forward to the next installment.
  7. Wildwookiee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2001
    star 4
    I'm glad you approve...Lex, I loved the article that you posted at EUMNN...that was great.

    Don't forget to put your title in your sig!!
  8. lexu Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2002
    star 6
    *Admires new addition to her siganture.*

    Moffelacious.

    To celebrate, I think I'll go cut off shipping to the Corporate Sector.
  9. Wildwookiee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2001
    star 4
    That is Mofferful. Now release the Moffdogs of War...the Moffship blunders on!!
  10. Wildwookiee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2001
    star 4
    this place suddenly died? what happend?
  11. lexu Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2002
    star 6
    Hmm... Maybe I struck terror into their very souls with my awesome Moffocity and they all ran away?
  12. Wildwookiee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2001
    star 4
    I believe so oh Moff Emperess :) . Perhaps they've just found another moffiful thread, and haven't told us...so I'll just have to continue Hick Hunters

    Episode XXX, The Phantom Hangover

    Bubba Fett and ol' man Kenobi are in the bar. Bubba had just asked the ol' man if he knew where the Glove of Paw Vader was...Kenobi knew, but he didn't quite know how to tell Bubba, his drinking buddy

    Kenobi : Gosh...I don't reckon I could hide it fr'm ya much longer eh Bubba? I know th' gloves location...but I don't know if it be'in a good idey and all to go and distub it...it's got the haunts!

    Bubba: Well Kenobi...I got myself hired to find that glove...and I do what I set out t'do...now be a right good ol' buddy, an' tell me where that glove be. Barkeep!! This here's good Sand Whiskey...but bring me some Tusken Moonshine...me n my drinkin bud's gonna have us a right good time tonight.

    The Barkeep brought out a large bottle, filled with clear liquid. He popped the top and set it down on the table...the desert flowers next to the bottle withered when the fumes from the bottle reached them. Bubba poured both Kenobi and himself a shot of the stuff

    Bubba: I say, we ought to drink to th' glove...it'll make me one right down rich man...I might even be able to afford t'buy longjohnns this winter.

    Kenobi: I'll drink to the glove, but I'll not say a thing about where it be hidden...never.

    twho hours later

    The bottle was only half empty, but the two drinkin buddies were swaying in their chairs. Bubba walks his fingers up to grasp the bottle, and pours another round...most of it goes on the table, missing the two shot glasses.


    Kenobi: Naw...There ain't no way you could get me to tell you that th'Glove of ol' Paw is over hidden in Deathrock Gulley...naw...I've promised the missus that that'll never be discussed. I'll not even tell u' that the curse of the' glove is enough to burn the hairs right of your arse...Bubba...pull yourself together...There are two of you

    With that, Ol man Kenobi's eyes rolled back into his skull, and he passed out right there on the table.

    Bubba: Thanks abunch ol' friend...now, I can go find th'Glove...as soon as I can feel my legs again.

    Bubba passed out, right on top of the table, along with Ol' Man Kenobi

    Will Bubba suceed in finding the Glove? Will he even remember that Kenobi told him the location? Will either of them wake up with a tattoo that says "I love Earl"? Tune in next week for

    Hick Hunters!!!
  13. lexu Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2002
    star 6
    Will either of them wake up with a tattoo that says "I love Earl"?

    LOl. Classically Mofferical, Wook.
  14. skawookiee Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 12, 2000
    star 4
    HICK HUNTERS: RAIDERS OF THE LOST MOFF

    A lone dark figure is standing in a dark room. His identity unknown, he listens to a conversation taking place far away. The listening device inside the label of that whiskey bottle had worked very nicely. He perks up when, after two hours of monotonous rambling, drunken stupor, and countless rounds of "99 bottles of Correllian Ale on the wall" he hears,
    "There ain't no way you could get me to tell you that th'Glove of ol' Paw is over hidden in Deathrock Gulley"
    It's all paid off. He turns to the side, to an older gentleman holding a dustrag. He simply says, "Moffred, prepare the Batmoffmobile."

    THE NEXT DAY...
    Bubba wakes up in an alley. He looks down to find "I love Earl" tattooed on his chest. "How in tarnation did that git thar?" He shrugs and moves to go to Deathrock Gulley on his way to a fortune.

    Meanwhile...
    In the Batmoffmobile, Batmoff silently ponders the situation. "If that glove falls into Gumbo Tarkin's hands, it could mean the end of the whole galaxy!"

    Far away, a man named Darth Earl sits in seclusion at his secret hideout on Coruscant. He smiles at the viewscreen as he sees the Batmoffmobile and Bubba Fett's old jalopy pull up to their destination. Old Man Palpy will be very pleased at the way he was manipulating the situation. He summons a transport to take him immediately to Tatooine. He wants to watch this personally.

    Two iron wills clash will at Deathrock Gulley, both with the same objective. Will Batmoff save the galaxy? What about Bubba's fortune? What power does the Glove possess? Who is this Earl fellow, and what's the deal with the tattoo? Given enough time, will a thousand monkeys on a thousand typewriters be able to reproduce whole works of Shakespeare? Find out on the next exciting installation of Hick Hunters!
  15. lexu Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2002
    star 6
    Ah, mofftastic! Hmm, it looks to be my turn... Maybe tomorrow. :D
  16. Wildwookiee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2001
    star 4
    great....Lexu, you're turn to continue the adventure!!!
  17. Wildwookiee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2001
    star 4
    And the Lord saith unto the Philistines... "This thead shall move to the moffious position, off of the third page, and foward, to the place of glory"

    Deacons 11:6-9
  18. Wildwookiee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2001
    star 4
    I'm upping this again...perhaps some veteran will see it and post..even though it gets swallowed by Fan Club threads
  19. Wildwookiee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2001
    star 4
    Let's see if the name change helped...up
  20. lexu Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2002
    star 6
    THE MOFFTRIX: RELAPSED

    Bubba Fett pulled into Deathrock Gulley with money on his mind. As his car sputtered and died, he stepped into the desert sun.

    BUBBA: Now, then, whar could that ol Glove O Paw Vader be?

    Just as he begin to look around, under rocks and the like, a voice came from behind.

    BATMOFF: I see you found your way here despite that Tusken Moonshine induced hangover. Impressive.

    BUBBA: Batmoff! How'd ya- Ahh, damn that drunkard Kenobi! Get 'im drinkin n he'll ramble off ta any ol soul...

    BATMOFF: No, Bubba Fett, my friend, that is not how I found out the resting place of the glove... I use far more... subtle tactics.

    BUBBA: ... ...Curse that ol man ta hell! He'll do anything fer a night o-!

    BATMOFF: No! No, not that! ...Enough of this! I've got the Glove right here!

    Batmoff presents the black glove in all of it's spookified glory.

    BUBBA: Wull, I reckon we gots arselves quite a peridi- preda- peririd-- sitchiation!

    BATMOFF: Eh... Indeed.


    Will Bubba Fett and Batmoff duke it out? What has Darth Earl been up to? Is Old Palpy just senile? What kind of prevy fetishes does that sick old b@st@rd Kenobi have? Find out next time- same Moffrageous time, same Moffellating thread for HICK HUNTERS!


    Okay, how much do you love me? ;)
  21. Wildwookiee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2001
    star 4
    This MUCH

    <_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________>
  22. Wildwookiee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2001
    star 4
    I have now taken over the position as the Loyal Order of MoffelTM senator...please continue to support this organization with your annual bribes...thankyou


    The Moffship blunders on!!
  23. lexu Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 28, 2002
    star 6
    *Bribes Wook.*

    I suggest we form an alliance between MoffelTM and the WJFC. I don't know what this alliance wouldn entail, but it sounds Moffinal.
  24. Wildwookiee Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 14, 2001
    star 4
    well since you and I seem to be the only participating members in the Loyal Order of MoffelTM...If no one dares to vote against it, I would say that it would suit the interests of our group.


    I'll post a continuation of Hickhunters soon...I'm just too tired right now to do it.
  25. Protege-of-Thrawn Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2001
    star 6
    This thread must continue, for without it, the Moffship shall run out of Mofftrol, and at the prices these days at the Moffice Groceries, we will be broke!

    May the Moff be with you all, Always.
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