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Before - Legends The Many Over One (J/A Qui/Obi Fic)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by DriftingThread, Oct 21, 2005.

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  1. DriftingThread

    DriftingThread Jedi Youngling star 1

    Oct 21, 2005
    Greetings to all!
    My first Star Wars story to be posted in these boards. I love criticism and please, enjoy, everyone (tutti!)

    Title: The Many Over One
    Author: DriftingThread
    Rating: PG
    Time Period: Obi-Wan is 17
    Characters: Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon
    Genre: Angst, Drama
    Summary: Mission wearied and emotionally drained, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are having a hard time pulling it together. When they are sent on a mission to the relatively peaceful planet, Itan, they are both strained to the limits of their strength and must make dire choices that could lead to them killing the one dearest to them.

    Chapter One: Late Night Conversation

    Obi-Wan bit his lip and hit the erase button for the infinite time that night. He groaned as he glanced at the chrono. It was nearly midnight and he had not yet finished his already overdue assignment for his Bionetwork class. His instructor of the subject had told him he could have one more night to complete the assignment before the deadline was obstinate. He rubbed the bridge of his nose with his fingers. Deadlines and him had never been very close companions. After coming under the apprenticeship of Qui-Gon Jinn he had hardly had time to remember his assignments from his selective classes, let alone have the time to complete them all.

    But now, after coming back from a series of rather stressful missions, the master and apprentice had called for some sabbatical time to rest and refuel. In Obi-Wan?s view, this ?rest? was very twisted in a sense. He had imagined spending the days meditating, going to some classes, maybe researching a little bit and, for the most part, just taking it easy. How wrong he had been.

    Now here he was, trying to put his thoughts into words for a task that was more suiting for his master. His master loved the subject and Obi-Wan only saw it fitting to take the class himself to see what the older Jedi ?saw? in the subject. After only a few lessons Obi-Wan had already found the subject dull but also confusing which was an added obstacle to learning the material. One would have thought that he would be quite busy if he needed to work more to understand the matter but, to the contrary, it only seemed to bore him the more.
    He blinked furiously and rubbed his eyes, trying to render the text on the datascreen from the background. He could not allow himself to fall asleep, not yet. He had to finish. Even if he never used this information in his life, it was still deserving enough for him to spend some time learning about it, and his master would be very disappointed if his student began failing.

    But words would not come tonight. They seemed so far out of reach. The keys lay in front of him but all of their symbols were foreign to his tired eyes. For once he could not feel the words. He could not touch their rhythm. He felt nothing but struggle and toil, as if everytime he touched one of the symbols a great weight was added to his shoulders. He had tried everything to try to ease his restlessness and frustration. He had meditated, he had paused for a few hours and come back to the terminal, he had even practiced some katas?exercise that usually loosened him up?but no avail. He was beginning to despair and that despair could too soon turn into mindless frustration that would have him do something very drastic to the datascreen.

    Well he couldn?t spend his precious time wallowing in self-pity. Maybe he should find why he was so tense and banish it away. Maybe some more procrastination. The latter idea, very sound to a frustrated Padawan, was too soon taken into consideration and he turned off his datascreen and sat back in his chair. He sighed; even another round of meditation wouldn?t work. He was too taut with restlessness.

    ?Padawan?? He started as his master knocked and came into his room. He gave his Padawan an expectant look as he saw the worn face of his student being rubbed by two like weary fingers. Fingers that had not yet had their journey across the keypads to complete the delayed project.

    ?Yes, Master?? Obi-Wan?s voice was sli
  2. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Mar 1, 2002
    It was really quite sweet. I know that Obi-Wan's weariness will come back to haunt him but his Master will help him through it, I have no doubt.
  3. Healer_Leona

    Healer_Leona Squirrely Community Mod star 9 Staff Member Manager

    Jul 7, 2000
    A first fic here and a very nice one at that.

    Welcome, DriftingThread and thank you for what looks like an intriuging story to read. :)
  4. Force-sensitiveLyn23

    Force-sensitiveLyn23 Jedi Master star 1

    Aug 27, 2005
    woww! v. good im looking forward to more!!!
  5. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Feb 5, 2004
    Wow! Great job! I would have never guessed this is your first fic! You've been writing a while, haven't you? ;)

    I'll be looking for more of your work! Fantastic! =D=
  6. Star_Drifter

    Star_Drifter Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jul 18, 2005
    He did not have to say aloud that he and his master were still bone weary from their last missions. The physical pain had been easily rid of but the emotional lingered around like a shadow. Obi-Wan felt as if he had seen lifetimes of pain and grief every second he was on the war ridden planets they had so frequently been sent to. He felt older, wearier, and so tired. And now, they had to go out again, do what their whole lives had been preparing them for and, for once, he dreaded it more than his simple paper.

    Poor Obi-Wan! He sounds completely worn out, and yet they have to leave on another mission! [face_worried]

    I can tell that this is going to be good, very good! :D

    And, I'm looking forward to the next post! [face_batting]
  7. Bastet

    Bastet Jedi Padawan star 4

    Dec 30, 1999
    Great start, DriftingThread! :D

    Qui/Obi stories are my favorite, so I'll definitely be reading this one. [face_love]

    Can't wait for more! :D
  8. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Jul 26, 2005
    What a great beginning!

    gotta feel bad for Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan being sent on another mission when they're still recovering from the last one.

    And poor Obi-Wan has classwork on top of it!

    Looking forward to more

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
  9. Stella_Ripple

    Stella_Ripple Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jul 29, 2005
    Wonderful beginning! =D=
    I loved the way Qui comforted Obi about his feelings- nicely done!
    I LOVE Obi/Qui stuff, and you seem to be doing it really well! I can't wait to see more.
  10. Fluff-Slayer

    Fluff-Slayer Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jun 12, 2005
    Uh-oh, guys! Trouble ahead! :(

    A very interesting beginning, DT. There's that definate undercurrent of foreboding. Can't wait to see how everything lays itself out.

    Marvelousness. :)
  11. DriftingThread

    DriftingThread Jedi Youngling star 1

    Oct 21, 2005
    I was just too excited to wait until my post to give back replies. Next chapt will be soon but I just needed to give a HUGE thank you for those who liked it! Grazie!

    dianethx: I know that Obi-Wan's weariness will come back to haunt him but his Master will help him through it, I have no doubt.
    We will just have to see won't we, but I think your insight is could I deny some good hard fluff? Thanks for being my first reviewer!:)

    Healer_Leona: Thank you, I hope I can do my best to keep your attention!:D

    Force-sensitiveLyn23: Grazie, grazie!

    VaderLVR64: You've been writing a while, haven't you?
    Oh *looks innocent* that's for me to know and you to find out.;)

    Star_Drifter: Wow, thank you for your kind words! They really made my day! You deserve a rose for that! Thank you!@};-

    Bastet: Qui/Obi stories are my favorite
    Mine too! I just love them! Thank you!

    KELIA:I know! That darn classwork just to top it all off. Well Obi-Wan can procrastinate a *little* longer....don't we all? With everything?[face_whistling]

    Stella_Ripple:Isn't Qui-Gon just so insightful? I wish he was my master...*sigh* Glad you liked!

    Fluff-Slayer: *chuckles* I love your icon by the way. I didn't know Pickachu (sorry, can't spell) wielded a 'saber. Gotta pay more attention to those blasted cartoons.;)
    Trouble ahead I'm afraid...but you'll see just what kind very soon. Thanks!

  12. Terra_Wan_Kenobi

    Terra_Wan_Kenobi Jedi Youngling star 1

    Sep 8, 2005
    Poor Obi-wan... This Fic is awesome... please update soon!!!
  13. Princess_Arulmozhi

    Princess_Arulmozhi Jedi Master star 4

    Nov 16, 2004
    Ooh, interesting start. Poor Obi, so worn out. And Qui's so concerned. Loved it. Hope the next part's coming up soon? :)
  14. LilQui-Gon

    LilQui-Gon Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jul 29, 2004
    Okay I am definatley addicted to this. More, more, MORE!!! :D
  15. Gkilkenny

    Gkilkenny Jedi Master star 4

    Mar 27, 2004

    Your first Fic=D=

    Your writing is wonderful and I love the interaction
    between Obi and Qui.
    You could feel the weariness in Obi's voice.

    Great Start =D=
  16. Nienna_Narmolanya

    Nienna_Narmolanya Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 5, 2005
    =D= Nice work!

    I really like this look into the human side of the Jedi.

    Is it wrong of me to want rest while the galaxy is dying around me outside??

    I really liked this sentence; it shows a frustration/guilt that many Jedi (especially the younger ones like Obi-Wan) must deal with, feeling like they don't have the right to enjoy times of comfort and pleasure when they have the power to save those who are suffering.

    I like the way this was written. The Qui/Obi interaction is believeable and the sentences flow together smoothly.

    I can't wait for the next part! :D
  17. Kestrel_Kenobi

    Kestrel_Kenobi Jedi Master star 4

    Sep 26, 2005
    Wow, great stuff. I loved the interaction between Obi and Qui. Looking forward to reading more.
  18. DarthMousche

    DarthMousche Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jun 16, 2005
    But words would not come tonight. They seemed so far out of reach. The keys lay in front of him but all of their symbols were foreign to his tired eyes.

    Man, do I know that feeling!

    A great beginning, with a touching exchange between Master and Padawan. Looking forward to more.
  19. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Oct 28, 2003
    Really nice work here. I love the way you've painted Qui/Obi's relationship and show the gentler side of Qui-Gon..[face_love]

    And poor Obi -- sounds like they need a break for a bit longer than a week. Maybe Qui should've taken sabattical away from the Temple.

    Excellent start!
  20. judsta36

    judsta36 Jedi Youngling

    Jun 19, 2005
    I loved how you've expressed Obi-Wan's tiredness - goodness knows I've felt the same way all through my studies. Can't wait...
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