Before - Legends The Misadventures of Jedi Knight Far-lee Sertan. (Humor) Updated 11/11

This is a little project of mine just for kicks. I'd love to know what you think of it, if you have the time. It's what I hope is a humorous story about a dimwitted Jedi and his drug-adicted droid.

Note: In case you didn't understand, this is all a joke. I obviousely don't endorse drugs, or stupidity for that matter, so try to avoid both.

Disclaimer: 1977, yada yada yada, George is King.

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1. (11/8)

Sertan approached the room with certain uncertainty and was met with an equally uncertain responce.

"Come for what have you?"

"What's that?" Sertan scratched his head.

"Approach the council for council do you, hmm, no?"

"I'm sorry, come again?" Sertan was possitively paralyzed by the ponderous patterns with which the Master Jedi spoke.

There was a long lull in the elementary exchange. Finally, Sertan said to the council, "You asked me to come here today."

"Ask you did we? Hmm... interesting, this one, speaks he of things which have happened not. Ask we for him that is not you, rather for him which comes not..."

"You meant to call for Jedi Knight Burton, didn't you?" Sertan interjected utterly unimpressed at the unction.

"Yes, has this happened before?" asked the other elder member of the council.

"Yes it has... eleven times..."

"Have we maybe a mission for you anyways, young one" said Yoda, with no small amount of pity.

Sertan's eyes lit up. "Really, Jedi Master, sir."

Mace leaned over and whispered in Yoda's emaculate enormity of an ear. Yoda nodded, seemingly in approval. Then Mace turned to Sertan and said "Retrieve the shipment bagel royal will you."

Yoda wrinkled his forehead and looked strangely at Mace. "Yoda-speak poorly do you. Switch the subject and verb must you, but not the adjective and subject, for proper English that is not."

Mace ignored Yoda. "The Jedi have not received their bagel shipment in over 7 months. It is very important that you travel to the planet Joo-gello and retrieve it."

Sertan left the room with a whole new outlook on his outlandish overalliterated life. Maybe he wasn't the clumsy Jedi who muddled ever mission, messed-up every cover-up and blew every battle. Then he tripped over his own feet.

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2. (11/8)

Far-lee found fairly frequently that falling face first in the floor would put a damper on a delectable day. But not this day. This day, he got up, brushed himself off, and proceded down the hall with an air of self assurance about him. He wasted no time to pack his bags, for he was on an important bagel mission. No, rather he went straight to the Jedi star fighter hanger to ask for the keys to his ship back.

He walked straight up to the man in charge and told him straight off, "I know that my star-fighter was revoked after the 'incident,' but I'm on an important bagel mission, and I must be given my keys back in order to travel afar to the planet Joo-Gello and retrieve the bagels. If you don't give me the keys straight up I will be forced to use Jedi mind tricks on you, which I am sure you would not want to be the victim of. So what is it then, sir? Will you give me my..."

"I'm the janitor, sir. Roger is in charge. He's over there," the man pointed with his dripping mop.

Roger had overheard the whole exchange, and rolled his eyes when he saw that it was Sertan. "You're on a bagel mission, eh? I suppose you better have your ship back then, eh?"

"Eh?"

"I said you better have your ship back..."

"No, I was questioning your use of the word 'eh'."

Roger stared back with a deadpan. Without another word, he handed Sertan the keys. He pressed a button and an R4 unit quickly showed itself.

"This is R4-20 She'll be your copilot."

The great garage door grinded open as Sertan climbed aboard. He looked back one last time and yelled, "I'll remember you both when I'm the toast of Coruscant."

"I thought it was bagels, boy" yelled back the janitor. Far-lee didn't get it.

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Beagles.

*Snickers*

Funny! I will be waiting for more.

 

yeah..the second part was fun, but I enjoyed Yoda's speech more

 

Three sections so far...

I would love more feedback. Thank you to Xanatos and Keeper for commenting already.

 

Section 4 added.

 

Section 5 is up. At this point I'm doing this mostly for myself, but if by chance you read this, I hope it's funny...