Abq The "Ni!" Thread

VVVVVVVV...Thump!....Message for you sir....

 

That plays when I get email.

 

Run away!!!!

Ni

 

I fart in your general direction!

"NI!"

 

Now go away before I taunt you a second time.

NI!

 

A M00se once bit my sister ...



No realli! She was Karving her initals on the m00se

with the sharpened end of an interspace t00thbrush given

by Svenge - her brother-in-law - an Oslo dentist and

star of many Norwegian m0vies: "The H0t Hands of an Oslo

Dentist", "Fillings of Passion", "The Huge M0lars of Horst

Nordfink".

(From the opening credits of the Holy Grail)

NI

 

Ni
Nou
No...Ni
Nou
NO NO, NI NI

haha, and so on

 

It's not a question of where he grips it, It's a simple

matter of weight - ratios ... A five-ounce bird could not

hold a a one pound coconut.

NI

 

What? A swallow carrying a coconut?

NI

 

what kind of swallow was it?

sweet - I will have to look at some of the prices and see if I can save my mulla.

 

I think our goal should be never to let this thread get below the 5th spot after the stickies...

 

"you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart hands you a sword!!"

"Help! Help! I'm being repressed!"


"I feel HA-PPPY!"

 

oopss...forgot


NI!

 

No lets not go there, it really is a silly place...

NI

 

(we are lagging people!)

Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say `nee'
at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land, nothing
is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under
considerable economic stress at this period in history.

 

No chance, English bedwetting types. I burst my pimples at you and call your daughter an unrequested silly thing. You tiny-brained wipers of other people's bottoms!

 

she turned me into a newt...i got better

 

Live from the Castle Anthrax:

NARRATOR:
The Tale of Sir Galahad.
[boom]
[wind]
[howl]
[howl]
[boom]
[angels singing]

[howl]
[boom]
[howl]
[boom]
[pound pound pound]
GALAHAD:
Open the door! Open the door!
[pound pound pound]
In the name of King Arthur, open the door!
[creak]
[thump]
[creak]
[boom]
GIRLS:
Hello!
ZOOT:
Welcome, gentle Sir Knight. Welcome to the Castle Anthrax.

GALAHAD:
The Castle Anthrax?
ZOOT:
Yes. Oh, it's not a very good name, is it? Oh, but we are nice and we will attend to your every, every need!
GALAHAD:
You are the keepers of the Holy Grail?
ZOOT:
The what?
GALAHAD:
The Grail. It is here.
ZOOT:
Oh, but you are tired and you must rest awhile. Midget! Crapper!
MIDGET and CRAPPER:
Yes, O Zoot?
ZOOT:
Prepare a bed for our guest.
MIDGET and CRAPPER:
Oh, thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!...
ZOOT:
Away! Away, varletesses. The beds here are warm and soft and very, very big.
GALAHAD:
Well, look, I-- I, uh--
ZOOT:
What is your name, handsome knight?
GALAHAD:
'Sir Galahad... the Chaste'.
ZOOT:
Mine is 'Zoot'. Just 'Zoot'. Oh, but come.

GALAHAD:
Look, please! In God's name, show me the Grail!
ZOOT:
Oh, you have suffered much. You are delirious.
GALAHAD:
No, look. I have seen it! It is here in this--
ZOOT:
Sir Galahad! You would not be so ungallant as to refuse our hospitality.
GALAHAD:
Well, I-- I, uh--
ZOOT:
Oh, I am afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet compared to yours. We are but eight score young blondes and brunettes, all between sixteen and nineteen- and- a- half, cut off in this castle with no one to protect us. Oooh. It is a lonely life: bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear. We are just not used to handsome knights. Nay. Nay. Come. Come. You may lie here. Oh, but you are wounded!
GALAHAD:
No, no. It's-- it's nothing.
ZOOT:
Oh, you must see the doctors immediately! No, no, please! Lie down.
[clap clap]
PIGLET:
Well, what seems to be the trouble?
GALAHAD:
They're doctors?!
ZOOT:
Uh, they... have a basic medical training, yes.
GALAHAD:
B-- but--
ZOOT:
Oh, come. Come. You must try to rest. Doctor Piglet! Doctor Winston! Practise your art.
WINSTON:
Try to relax.
GALAHAD:
Are you sure that's absolutely necessary?
PIGLET:
We must examine you.

GALAHAD:
There's nothing wrong with that!
PIGLET:
Please. We are doctors.
GALAHAD:
Look! This cannot be. I am sworn to chastity.
PIGLET:
Back to your bed! At once!
GALAHAD:
Torment me no longer. I have seen the Grail!
PIGLET:
There's no grail here.
GALAHAD:
I have seen it! I have seen it!
[clank]
I have seen--
GIRLS:
Hello.
GALAHAD:
Oh.
GIRLS:
Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.
GALAHAD:
Zoot!
DINGO:
No, I am Zoot's identical twin sister, Dingo.
GALAHAD:
Oh, well, excuse me, I--
DINGO:
Where are you going?
GALAHAD:
I seek the Grail! I have seen it, here in this castle!
DINGO:
Oh, no. Oh, no! Bad, bad Zoot!
GALAHAD:
Well, what is it?
DINGO:
Oh, wicked, bad, naughty Zoot! She has been setting alight to our beacon, which, I have just remembered, is grail-shaped. It's not the first time we've had this problem.
GALAHAD:
It's not the real Grail?
DINGO:
Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot! She is a bad person and must pay the penalty
Oh, wicked, wicked Zoot. Oh, she is a naughty person and she must pay the penalty, and here in Castle Anthrax, we have but one punishment for setting alight the grail-shaped beacon: you must tie her down on a bed and spank her.
GIRLS:
A spanking! A spanking!
DINGO:
You must spank her well, and after you have spanked her, you may deal with her as you like, and then, spank me.
AMAZING:
And spank me.
STUNNER:
And me.
LOVELY:
And me.
DINGO:
Yes. Yes, you must give us all a good spanking!
GIRLS:
A spanking! A spanking! There is going to be a spanking tonight!
DINGO:
And after the spanking, the oral sex.
GIRLS:
The or

 

This is one of the only threads I've never posted in so........NI!!!!!

 

Its pretty funny considering thats the movie I got the idea for my username.

"You must cut doen the mightiest tree in the forest wiiiiiith.........A HERRING!"

 

"When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. And that's what you're going to get, Lad, the strongest castle in all of England."

NI

 

Allo, dappy English k-niggets and Monsieur Arthur King, who has the brain of a duck, you know. So, we French fellows outwit you a second time!

NI!

 

I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

(I love the french castle scenes!)

 

Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals ... Now did the Lord say, "First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."


NI!

 

NI,