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Saga The Night Falling (a letter written by Padme to Anakin {Vignette})

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by obaona, Mar 21, 2003.

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  1. obaona

    obaona Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 18, 2002
    *throws confetti*

    My very first story (er, vignette :p ) in the new boards! :D :D :D

    I'm not too familiar with Ani/Ami, so please forgive any mistakes. :) Also, I put symbolism/metaphor/one of those things into this story. Anyone who can guess what it is gets a special mention . . . somewhere. :p *waves hand around* ;) ;)

    Title: The Night Falling (Yes, it sucks! :p I had to come up with it quickly, okay?)

    Summary: A letter is read.

    Rating: G.

    Hey, you. Note here. ;)

    DEDICATED TO MY LOVE, BURKIE! [face_love] [face_love] [face_love] I told him I'd write this for him, and dedicate it to him. It ended up being dark-ish, but in his own words (or the words of his friend to him? :confused: ) "Psycho is good!"

    Don't run, read. :p


    The light of day was slowing ceding to the muted gray of dusk. Light filtered in through large windows, illumination coming both from the natural glare of Coruscant?s sun, and the more colorful arrays from the city-planet. Coruscant was a place where one never slept. At every moment something of importance was happening.

    The man crept quietly into the study. It was surprisingly opulent and large, especially for Coruscant. Huge windows lined two walls, curving gracefully inward, and molding to the design of the tower. A black, curved desk was placed in the center of the room, facing the doorway. There were few things on it, a small holoprojector and other things needed for an officer in the Republic military. The slowly setting sun was creating long, but indistinct shadows. As the man walked in, the sun hit his face fully for a moment ? then he turned to the side, and his expression was hidden.

    He slowly paced over, to behind the desk. A hand trailed the edge of the desk, feeling its perfect smoothness ? Aleki stone, very rare and very expensive. But that was not unusual . . . Palpatine himself had gotten this office ready. The man let his fingers trail from the desk to the papers and documents that were spread before the seat. The old-fashioned paper was rough and harshly real against his callused fingertips.

    Moving with aching grace, the man stood behind the desk, and let his hands brace against it as he lowed himself into the seat. The seat immediately began to conform to his body, a device of decadent luxury. The man shifted uncomfortably for a moment, his features still lost in the darkness as the fading light swept over him. Hesitantly, with fingers searching, the man explored the desk. Apparently at random, he paused.

    The paper rustled faintly in the silence as he opened its folded and crumpled form. Hands ? strong but careful ? straightened the paper.

    And he began to read.

    Dear Anakin,

    It has been too long since we have seen each other. Months. I have my matters of state ? the Senator from Kish has kept trying to push his ridiculous legislation through ? and you have the war to keep you occupied. I fear for you, fighting out there. I know war is a rough and harsh thing . . . Naboo experienced it, and I, as its elected ruler at the time, was left to deal with its consequences.

    I pray that this war does not last any longer.

    Chancellor Palpatine has increasingly used the powers granted to him in this emergency. I wish to believe he is doing what he believes is best, but I cannot help but find myself puzzled at some of his actions. He had two Senators that I knew and trusted arrested today, publicly. I do not know what they did, and he will not tell me, under the guise that it is a matter for the Chancellor, not a mere Senator as I am. He did not say it that way, of course, but I know what he meant. You must look for meanings of words, not words themselves, when dealing with a politician.

    I know you trust him deeply, Anakin, but I must advise you to be cautious with him. He has always supported you, and helped you and I, but something feels wrong to me. He talks to me of your great future, of your great power, and you have told me he says the sam
  2. KatarnLead

    KatarnLead Jedi Youngling star 3

    Oct 5, 2002

    :_| Oh dearest, that was beautiful! [face_love] [face_love] [face_love] Amazingly beautiful...

    The whole imagery (which I won't mention, but I'll let someone else be mentioned because they picked it up), is such a beautiful one, and also the links with the first half of Padme's letter and what's happening in RL these days.

    *Pulls Oba into embrace* You, my beautiful, are an amazingly gifted writer. How I got you as a girlfriend, I don't know. But I know that I've got you, that much I know!

    Oba, darling, this is quite easily one of your best pieces. [face_blush] And you dedicated it to me! [face_blush]

    With love, baby, from your Knight.

    *continues to hold Oba*
  3. crystalrain

    crystalrain Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jan 28, 2003
    *jaw hangs open*

    That was so good. And I hate Ami/Ani! (correction - I hate Ani and still cannot quite see what Padme saw in him. Ah, well, love is blind). I actually quite like Padme's character and I think you captured it beautifully. Amazing work, oba! :D
  4. LadyPadme

    LadyPadme Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 26, 2002


    * laughs *

    I wondered when you'd emerge and start posting on these boards. It's been far too long since your last vignette!

    And so now you're posting for Burkie! (Looks in Burkie's direction with some motherly concern--you'll be good to our little Handmaiden, right? My chopsticks are ready otherwise...)

    On to the viggie:

    I loved the letter, it was so Padme! Idealistic and still naive (in spite of her protests!) and I really enjoyed the bit about Anakin sneaking into Padme's house to get the wedding dress--what a lovely touch.

    And Obi-Wan! What a surprise! What is he doing sneaking into Ani's study like this? (LP cups hands around mouth: "Get out, Obi-Wan before Ani or Palpy come in and find you!!")

    Wonderful as usual. Glad to see that romance hasn't distracted your attention from your writing! ;)

  5. Valiowk

    Valiowk Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Apr 23, 2000
    Beautiful! It's a letter with strong emotions, and I like the twist at the end when we find out that the man is Obi-Wan.
  6. Jadis_Ionian

    Jadis_Ionian Jedi Padawan star 4

    May 27, 2001
    Wonderful! I like the description in the first part. It's so vivid, I can really see it. :)

    The letter is beautiful and sad...remembering their wedding, and her worry about him, not only because he's in the middle of a war, but because she can see him changing. :_|

    I really like looking for metaphors and symbolism. :D What I noticed in this was the light, particularly the last paragraph: The sun behind him set, finally, its glare and glamour easing away to the night. Electric and powerful colors of the fading sunset leapt into existence, the harbinger of a dying light. But even those faded, as they must in their time. The shadows fell away and night fell at last.

    I interpreted that (along with the opening paragraph) as being symbolic of Anakin's and the Republic's fall, darkness, except for the harsh lights of the city, falling over everything.

  7. Dally

    Dally Jedi Master star 4

    Apr 2, 2001
  8. obaona

    obaona Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 18, 2002
    KatarnLead, aka my Burkie: [face_blush] [face_blush] [face_blush] [face_blush] :D Thank you! And its funny, as I was writing it I began to realize the connections with RL, but it wasn't something I intended. :p

    crystalrain: Thank you! :D Padme is always interesting to try and write. I mean, to make her both strong (as she is) and vulnerable. :)

    LadyPadme: Oh be quiet. :p And people, please stop threatening Burkie. He gets the point already! ;) I'm glad you liked the wedding dress - it just seemed like something appropriate to put in, something light like that. I mean, when you write a letter you aren't all death and war, right? ;) Obi-Wan demanded to be put in, frankly. It was supposed to be a letter, with no accompanying story. But . . . Obi-Wan just wants to be in all my stories! 8-}

    Valiowk: Padme strikes me as someone strong but very emotional. In control of those emotions, but they are very powerful. And thank you! I like twists. ;)

    Jadis_Ionian: Thank you! I really tried to do that, so that's nice to know. And yup, its sad. It was supposed to be a happy love letter, but then I realized I couldn't picture Padme writing that . . . Anakin maybe, Padme no. ;) You got it right! And for your special mention, look at my sig. :D

    Dally: Thank you. :)
  9. Jadis_Ionian

    Jadis_Ionian Jedi Padawan star 4

    May 27, 2001
    :D :D It's good to know I'm not reading too much into it. ;)

  10. ChinchillaFairy

    ChinchillaFairy Jedi Youngling star 1

    Aug 2, 2002
    So sad but wonderful!
  11. KatarnLead

    KatarnLead Jedi Youngling star 3

    Oct 5, 2002
    LadyPadme, you needn't worry. I will take care of Oba, the best I can... :D

    And don't worry dearest. I understand where they're coming from - they're all concerned because they love you.

    ...though not as much as I do *cuddles* [face_love]
  12. obaona

    obaona Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 18, 2002
    Jadis_Ionian: I imagine so. ;) Still, nice job! :)

    ChinchillaFairy: Thank you. :)

    Burkie: [face_love]
  13. bluebereft

    bluebereft Jedi Youngling star 1

    Oct 15, 2002
    I don't think its been mentioned yet: -

    But the element of suspense generated at the end of your tale leaves us readers hanging. Obi-Wan's intentions remain concealed for spectaculation. Moreover, this stylistic action is performed in such a way that the device isn't inherently obvious. We, as readers, aren't going to hate you for withholding information.

    Otherwise, good stuff.
  14. obaona

    obaona Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 18, 2002
    bluebereft: As what happens afterward is not the point of the story, I didn't see any reason to include it. I wrote the letter, the story surrounding it was more . . . accidental, or not intentioned on my part. But actually, the symbolism that I included does tell part of that story. And I'm glad I'm not going to be hated. ;) And thanks. :)
  15. KatarnLead

    KatarnLead Jedi Youngling star 3

    Oct 5, 2002
    Up! Read this, all JC people!
  16. Gabri_Jade

    Gabri_Jade VIP star 5 VIP

    Nov 9, 2002
    Can't believe I missed this! :eek:

    Lovely as always, oba dear. Very evocative. :D
  17. ForbiddenLove

    ForbiddenLove Jedi Padawan star 4

    Nov 16, 2002
    Wonderfully done!! I think you captured Padmes thoughts very well, and I love the twist at the end!!
  18. leia_naberrie

    leia_naberrie Jedi Master star 4

    Sep 10, 2002
    I didn't know it was Obi-Wan until the end. I thought it was Ani. Brilliant
  19. obaona

    obaona Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 18, 2002
    Gabri_Jade: I forgive you. ;) And thanks. :)

    ForbiddenLove: Thank you. :) Writing Padme is very tricky for me, so I'm pleased. :D

    leia_naberrie: I blame the twist entirely on Elli. She got me to thinking about them. ;) And thank you. :D

    Burkie: [face_love] [face_love] [face_love] [face_love] [face_love]
  20. EmilieDarklighter

    EmilieDarklighter Jedi Master star 4

    Jan 19, 2002
    Very nice, oba.
  21. obaona

    obaona Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 18, 2002
    Thank you. :)
  22. KatarnLead

    KatarnLead Jedi Youngling star 3

    Oct 5, 2002
    You're welcome.

    Oh! :D :p
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