Obi-wan endangered Padme's life by hiding in her ship. Although, Padme wasn't getting anywhere with Anakin, Obi-wan made things worse by coming out of hiding because his presence made her look bad from Anakin's POV which led to the force-choke. Obi-wan didn't even bother to stop Anakin from choking her nor did he explain to him that Padme had no clue that he was in her ship since he skipped to the "You did this" argument. As for Qui-Gon, even if he is strict, he's not overly-strict to the point where he pushes a Jedi into the arms of a Sith Lord. He's a bit similar to PalpSidious in terms of winning Anakin's trust but unlike him, Qui-Gon won't manipulate Anakin into opposing the Jedi. Padme didn't really believe what she was telling Anakin. Even he can tell just by the smirk on his face because they both know that Obi-wan has no intention of helping Anakin and will kill him if he finds him which is why Padme went to Mustafar to find Anakin before Obi-wan does. If Anakin really thought that Obi-wan once thought that he could save him, then Anakin wouldn't have forced Obi-wan to cut him down and leave him barbecuing on Mustafar. "Your father was seduced by the Dark Side of the force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed." " He has become a very great threat." "I'm so sorry." If Obi-wan believed that there were other options besides killing Anakin, then he wouldn't have said those quotes. The only reason Anakin is so desperate to save Padme is because he lost both Qui-Gon and Shmi. With Qui-Gon dead and Shmi left on Tatooine, Anakin has Palpatine to fill the parental role for the first 10 years of his Jedi career. Then, Shmi's death led Anakin to be scared for Padme's safety and wanting the power to cheat death. If Qui-Gon had lived, he would teach Anakin how to overcome the pain of loss and to remind him that the Force cannot bring people back from the dead (not in the sense that they become glow-in-the-dark ghosts).