The official, purely speculative, non social, beard and food theory thread.

Discussion in 'Attack of the Clones' started by Shoeless Jedi, Oct 17, 2000.

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  1. Darth-hole Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 1, 2000
    star 2
    Hey,
    is this the 1st port of 2002 in the thread? Well, just thought i'd come by and say hi. Have been busy with my new job.

    DH
  2. queeq Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 10, 1999
    star 4
    Hey DH,

    How are you?

    Yes, I guess it's the first one this year. That makes this the second one. Anyone new beards in AOTC?
  3. Shoeless Jedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2000
    star 4
    Sorry I haven't been around, been crazy busy, but in answer to your question queeq, yes. Cliegg Lars sports some beardiness in the recent insider. I guess beardiness runs in that side of the family.
  4. plocool Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 25, 2001
    star 3
    Ah yes, I've missed this thread...

    There's an interesting thread focusing on Beru's mustache.

    Good Stuff.
  5. Darth-hole Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 1, 2000
    star 2
    My dad is going out for lunch this week with Warwick Davis.... the guy who played Wicket! He was also in TPM as Wald (Anakin's Alien friend) and Yoda in the walking scenes. He's also been in Willow, Harry Potter (as Professor Flitwick and the Banker) and the Leprachaun series of films.

    How cool is that?! Perhaps he can shed some more light on Beard Theory....
  6. Shoeless Jedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2000
    star 4
    DH, I'm sure most of us are aware of who Mr. Davis is and I must say that is incredibly cool. You must provide us with a full report (including any beardi details of course).

    plocool, thanks for stoppin by. Is that Beru thread still around and can you link us? I'm sure it's something to add to the archives. I certainly have contemplated the catipillar on her upper lip myself....

    Oh, and recently this was brought to my attention. Check it out, Watto has a real beard in Episode 2, no more stubble for him! Perhaps we shall finally see the lighter side of our Toydarian friend. He certainly seems less surly in the trailers.
  7. Ewan-Kenobi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 21, 2000
    star 6
    I assume that you have a theory on why Dooku has a full beard in episode2?!

    *waits for a rude, cocky, sure of himself answer*
  8. Shoeless Jedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2000
    star 4
    Geeze man, have you learned nothing?!
    IT's all been perfectly explained multiple times in this thread, as well as on my short-lived now defunct website, plus over in the Outlaw board, not to mention every other beardi outpost on the net!







    BUT





    I know you're a little slow, so here we go again, try to bear with me this time please:

    Dooku was a Jedi. As a skilled Jedi, he certainly would have had his beard.
    He left the Jedi order, but did not openly turn to the darkside or act evil.
    He simply became a charismatic separatist.
    Therefore, being the smart guy that he is, he kept the beard to fool everyone into thinking he's not a bad guy.
    This plan worked, and he will suprise the heck out of the Jedi (as well as the spoiler-free audience) when it's realized that he is in fact a Sith lord, Darth Tyranus!

    Lucas was smart in giving Dooku a beard, as it surely veils Dooku's true nature.

    So to you EK, I simply say, "BAH!"
  9. Ewan-Kenobi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 21, 2000
    star 6
    "*waits for a rude, cocky, sure of himself answer*"

    Wow Jayo, you don't disappoint.


    As always, both you and your pathetic dogma are clumsey and stupid. Your beliefs are based on coincidence, and you fumble around trying to explain what does not fit.

    'Dooku has a beard so people will think he's good.'
    BWAhAHAHA! Pathetic.


    And what about Panaka and Olie? And other Naboo people that don't have beards or funny hairdoos? HUH?! I wanna hear your pathetic fumbling answer for that mister!!
  10. Shoeless Jedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2000
    star 4
    Ewan, you're an idiot. That's why I just kicked you in the chest and stole your pipe over int he GIL thread.

    *Brandishes pipe and waves it in the air annoyingly*

    The Dooku theory not only makes perfect sense, but it's absolutely a BEAUTIFUL part of the theory. I mean to think that Dooku oozes so much charisma and brains that he knows keeping his Jedi beard is the perfect cover? Lucas is a genius, and if you can't see that, you're a sad, blind fool. I shed a tear for you and your kind....

    As for your other foolish questions, again I wish you had seen my website when it existed. The theory only really applies to main characters. When it works with secondary and background characters, it's happy coincidence, but that's it. It's only the important characters we're worried about here.
    And besides, Olie was an idiot and Panaka was a surly jerk, so their lack of beards makes sence anyway (not to mention Olie's receding hairline. He was always suspect even before he opened his overly obvious mouth).
  11. Ewan-Kenobi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 21, 2000
    star 6
    *cracks you in the back of the knees with a walking stick like in DUmb and Dumber*

    *steals pipe back*

    BOOYAH!


    Oh wow, 'secondary charactors don't count'

    WHAT A COP OUT!

    You said charactors with no beard or funky hair are evil, not surly or stupid. You and your theories are garbage.

    *runs away before you can stand*
  12. Shoeless Jedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2000
    star 4
    *uses beardi force powers to calm self. Must remember patience....*

    Hmph! He cannot be taught.

    *remembers how foolish and reckless he once was himself....*

    Ok ok, look Ewan, I know you're just trying to be a jerk, so my last comment on the subject is that it's not a cop out. It's just pointless trying to analyze every single person in the movie. I'm sorry but Alien #3 in the background of Jabba's palace doesn't have to conform to Beard Theory, I mean who cares? It's the important characters who matter, not just for beard theory but for anything in the movies. And the surly whatever thing I said, things aren't as black and white as only good or evil. One can be good or bad to varying degrees. So while it doesn't matter since they're just unimportant characters anyway, saying one is surly becuase of a lack of hair can be fine.

    Thank you.
  13. IEatPoodoo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 11, 2000
    star 4
  14. Shoeless Jedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2000
    star 4
    Poodoo! How are ya bud? Haven't seen ya round this thread in ages. So don't just sit there eatin poodoo, I mean popcorn, feel free to throw in your 2 cents! :)
  15. Ewan-Kenobi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 21, 2000
    star 6
    Uh huh. But it doesn't matter, an evil charactor has beard, a good main charactor doesn't have a beard or...'funny hair'. And still it doesn't matter to you. You just find some loop hole.

    Your dogma is muck.
  16. Shoeless Jedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2000
    star 4
    You really are being a jerk now. Can't you get it through that thick skull of yours that the evil character having a beard in Episode 2 is brilliant? I mean you realize it's not supposed to be outwardly known that he's deceiving everyone and is really a Sith, right? And you know he used to be a Jedi, right? Then why can't you uunderstand that it makes perfect sense for him to keep the beard and continue his falshood? I mean com on man, this isn't rocket science! It's just another awesome thing Lucas is doing with his characters! I mean even if you want to say that there's no such thing as beard theory at all, you still have to acknowlege that Dooku having a beard is so very cool since he used to be a Jedi! Man oh man why do I put up with you?!

    *hangs head in disgust, not able to believe EK can either be so stupid, or such a jerk....still trying to figure out which one it is....*
  17. plocool Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 25, 2001
    star 3
    Hello Shoeless Jedi,

    The Beru stache topic was within a larger thread... I don't remember the name; something about Lando and moustaches signifying evil or something..

    Can't find it man.

    BTW, this thread rocks almost as much as the yarael Poof is My Dad thread.

    Does yoda have a bit of a peachfuzz or am I drinking out of the wrong bottle?
  18. Shoeless Jedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2000
    star 4
    Thanks plocool, nice to know beard theory is developing and prospering, even if it is outside this thread. And always nice to hear someone else likes :)

    As for Yoda, you are correct sir, unless of course you and Yoda a drinking out of the same bottle [image=http://members.aol.com/daffyoo42/images/Yoda_beer.gif]

    Then you might be in trouble....but anyway, Yoda is quite a hairy one, though not fully bearded, he had huge mutton chops in Episode 1 and more hair on his head than in later years. It's hard to see Yoda as a beardi now in his old age, but there is evidence of upper lip hair (I can post a pic later if you like) suggesting that in his prime, Yoda must have had quite the glorious facial hair :)

    And where are the rest of the beardis I wonder? For once the hair and food thread is a hot topic and they're not around to see it?
  19. IEatPoodoo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 11, 2000
    star 4
    I wonder what color Yoda's hair was...

    *pictures Yoda as a strawberry blonde*

    [face_laugh]
  20. KFalcon77 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 6, 2001
    star 4
    I have made it into the Beardi thread Shoeless, I am anxiously awaiting your insight. :D
  21. Shoeless Jedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2000
    star 4
    wow cool. Nice to see you here man! Hmmm, beardi insight huh?

    Ok, well to sum things up for all the recent new faces, here's how I think the latest incarnation of the beard theory is working out:

    To be good or bad in the Star Wars movies, one need not have a beard or be bald and such. However, if one DOES have a beard, they're basically, with little exception, unquestionably good. And if one is bald, they're basically, with little exception, unquestionable evil.

    I've clearly explained the Dooku exception before, as far as beards. If you don't accept it, so be it, but frankly I think it's brilliant.

    Ok so I think this should clear things up pretty good for now. I know it was just basic, but feel free to field any questions you may have have, except Ewan-Kenobi who is an ass and used up all his question asking priveleges :p
  22. IEatPoodoo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 11, 2000
    star 4
    Shoeless, what is your theory on Mace? Is it that he possibly once had hair, and the over abundance of hair from Oppo balances out the hairlessness of Mace?

    And what about Even Piell, Yarael Poof, and other beardless Jedi?
  23. Shoeless Jedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2000
    star 4
    Ok, Mace has been the thorn in our collective beardi side all along. He's basically the only unexplainable character. As a result, the Oppo balance theory developed (And could hold up being that Oppo will be in Episode 2). This theory though has caused a rift in the beardi theory, and has basically been put on the backburner until more light can be shed on the subject.

    In the meantime, we believe a few possibilities for Mace.

    One, is that he most definitely did once have hair but now is so attuned to the force that he has transcended the beardi world and can lead a hairless existence. This could make sense being that Mace IS the head of the Council.

    Another train of thought is that Mace is the balance of the Beardi. His singular complete baldness serves in perfect contrast and counterbalance to the otherwise abundance of beardiness of the Jedi. There's probably a jedi code somewhere that says Jedi have to grow a beard at some point after achieving knighthood.

    It will be interesting to see all the Jedi fighting at once on Geonosis in AOTC, which will surely shed much light on the subject of beardiness.

    Basically, that's all we've got to go on at this point.

    As far as Even Piell, Yarael Poof, and other beardless Jedi, I think alien jedi are exempt. We certainly can't hold their genetic make-up against them, it's not their fault they're unable to grow hair. They also call into effect the idea that their lack of a beard doesn't mean they're not good. If they had beards it would guarantee they were good however, and if they were completely bald, it would guarantee evil. Piell has a Jedi topknot, so he's clear, and we don't know if Quernians (sp?) can grow hair, so Yarael's pretty safe. Again, the same standards can basically apply to the other Jedi we know of, but AOTC could change everything....we'll have to wait and see.
  24. IEatPoodoo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 11, 2000
    star 4
    Well, so far, the only pics of arena Jedi I've seen are either female, or alien male. You could be on to something here...

    EDIT: I just thought of something... Is it part of your theory that Luke grew a beard after ROTJ (when he became a true Jedi Knight), and all post-ROTJ novel cover illustrations are bogus? Or do you believe either EU is non-canon, or EU is canon, and Luke abandoned the beard rule as he did some others in the New Jedi Order?
  25. Shoeless Jedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2000
    star 4
    Poodoo man, you're rockin the theory hardcore lately, I'm likin :D

    Let's see about Luke....

    Well personally, I believe EU is non-canon, so it doesn't matter what they do.
    However if an EU subscriber wanted to apply the beard theory to EU, then I'd have to believe it's one of the rules he abandoned in the new Jedi Order.
    My personal belief, EU aside though, is that Luke would indeed grow a beard, and that if we were to see an Episodes 7-9 ever, Luke would indeed be bearded.

    This I believe is quite similar to how Indiana Jones sported a beard in his later life (as seen in the Young Indy episode "Mystery of the Blues"). I think Lucas may have even included that to make up for the lack of beards on our OT heroes who we never got to see bearded. Well ok, maybe that's a stretch ;), but I DO love how beard theory strethes to all thing Lucas :)
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