The official, purely speculative, non social, beard and food theory thread.

Discussion in 'Attack of the Clones' started by Shoeless Jedi, Oct 17, 2000.

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  1. Pedro Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 30, 1999
    star 4

    Of course one always has a choice. One may either do the thing asked of them, or not do it.

    If one does it, he/she will probably be rewarded. If not, he/she will probably be sanctioned. These are consequences. But the fact that consequences for actions exist does *not* mean that no choice is available.

    If Hitler tells me to break out the Zyklon-B to murder a room full of people whose only crime is that they're somewhat different than him, and I refuse, perhaps I will die. But refusal is still a possible choice for me to make.

    And, in that instance, I think it is a good one.


    "if beard theory is so proposterous there is obviously no reason for you to post here. i think you'll find that people come here to enjoy a lighthearted discussion, not argue over every detail."

    1. This isn't "every detail." It's the crux of the theory itself. Anyway.
    2. I've only come here of late to discuss facts & etc. with shoe, queeq, et. al. in a peaceable manner. I first made my big post a week or two ago, and it was clear that people didn't like it, so I dropped out of the thread completely, so as not to be a stick in the mud. Then I came back, and have been fine, just dropping tidbits about Lee mostly, since he's the only cat we have scoops on at this point. But I've been quiet as to "beard theory" - i.e., whether he's good or bad due to hair. I've left that to you guys. It's just today that we've gotten into that. I think we've gone as far as we can with it. So now it's back to tidbits and little discussions and stuff.
  2. Darth-hole Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 1, 2000
    star 2
    I just want to apologise to the admins for this thread going a little off topic tonight.

    I would also like to apologise for the fact that i used WW2 as an analogy. It seems some users feel phrases such as "Jew-cooking" are acceptable in a family oriented forum such as this.

    I hope in the future this thread will continue to produce interesting and acceptable levels of discussion.

    Thanks, DH
  3. Pedro Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 30, 1999
    star 4

    Nice save. And the point of the phraseology is to not beat around the bush with respect to a horrific, horrific act, and you know that. You brought up the analogy, I used it. You seemed to think that it was okay, that people were just "following orders." I would've thought that the situation alone would've been enough to turn your stomach, but I guess not. Apparently phrasing an unpleasant thought in an unpleasant way so as to draw out the inherent unpleasantness of the act is somehow more objectionable than the act itself. Which I think is questionable. Anyway. Enough.
  4. Shoeless Jedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 13, 2000
    star 4
    Wow, way to keep the thread alive guys, lol....Oh, and as a jew, don't worry, I was only mildly offended by the cooking references, although I don't know how that works into the food theory (lookit that, I made light of it so clearly I wasn't offended)....anywho, you guys sufficiently beat the dead horse to death. I say we just accept that there are exceptions to the rule as there will be with nearly every rule in life. That's why this thread is beard and food THEORY, not FACT. Therefor Pedro, Darth-Hole, and everyone else, we are allowed to have exceptions to the rule and everything is ok, and the theory doesn't have to be thrown out the window. Cause that's all it is, theory. It's clear there will never be beard and food fact, but it's ok cause beard and food theory is a lot more fun to discuss. So with that said, let's discuss! Any new scoops out there?
  5. queeq Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 10, 1999
    star 4
    I say: Pedro, stick around. Your contributions are highly appreciated. Without you we would all agree and this place would be very boring.

    queeq out
  6. 0ld-Ben-Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 25, 2000
    star 3
    Hey i thought i would ask ...

    what music from starwars do you think should
    accompany my new epII spoiler/speculation
    slideshow screen saver...
    I allready have almost 60 of the best and most
    memorable, 'big news'/'fan
    art'/'spoiler'/'never seen
    before', ep 2 pictures. I am very pleased with.
    right now im editing some music to play along
    with it. And like i said im wondering what YOU
    all think i should use.
  7. queeq Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 10, 1999
    star 4
    Stay on topic, please. We are being scrutinised by Admins on this topic.

    queeq out
  8. Vertical Former Head Admin

    Member Since:
    Apr 6, 1999
    star 6
    // watching

    Stick to the topic, guys, or else this one's not going to last long.

    Vertical
  9. queeq Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 10, 1999
    star 4
    See! Told ya.

    queeq out
  10. ChrTh Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 22, 2000
    star 4
    I'm sorry if this was covered earlier in the thread, but I didn't see it:

    What exactly is the food theory? If you have eaten, then you die? Is that correct?

    If so, how does the dinner scene in ESB figure in? I always assumed that Han, Leia, and Chewbacca dined with Lando, Vader, and Fett (sort of a "last meal for the condemned man" effect)--but none of those principals die in ESB.

    Am I hearing the theory wrong?

    Also, how do women fit into the beard theory?
  11. Darth-hole Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 1, 2000
    star 2
    Food theory states that if you eat something bad will invariably happen. Often people who eat end up dead.Basically, in the SW universe beard theory says that...

    Beard Theory states:
    Beard - Good (male) person (eg. Obi-wan, Ki-Adi Mundi)
    Long OTT Hair - Good (female) person (eg. Amidala, Leia)
    Hairy/furry - Good thing (eg. Chewie, Ewok)
    Mop/Mullet - Good person, often young and unable to get proper facial growth yet. (eg. Luke)
    Receding/Bald - Bad (eg. Maul, Palpatine, Vader)

    So women with long over the top hair are good.
  12. Darth_Dolza Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 19, 2000
    star 5
    Bearded women are trouble, if you ask me...

    Oh yeah, as for my earlier goatee comments, it seems my examples are falling apart one after another. First, the Indy one and now "A Lion in Winter", which I just saw again last night. Seems that Timothy Dalton's character, the duplicitous prince Phillip, has a skinny full beard, not just a goatee. Same with Chris Lee, obviously. But as far as I'm concerned, they're pretty similar to a goatee, more or less an extension of it, actually. So, my suspicions of Lee and Smits' characters being at least in the grey areas morally still hold... (for more info, refer to my first post some pages back...)
  13. ChrTh Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 22, 2000
    star 4
    Ok, what are the examples for the food theory then? The first example that comes to mind is Yoda in the swamp (Ep 5) but I don't remember anything bad happening.
    Luke eats before he confronts the pseudo-Vader on Dagobah, doesn't he?
  14. queeq Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 10, 1999
    star 4
    Luke does not eat, he TASTES rootleaf and hates it, so he survives. He ate some Space TWix, but they are not considered food. Yoda didn't so why would we.
    Yoda eats and he dies in the next movie.

    Han, Leia, Lando and Chewie probably lost their appetite after that little betrayal scene. Vader and Boba Fett probably ate and they died in the next movie.

    Owen and Beru eat, Luke just plays with his food. Owen and Beru die.

    It goes on and on...

    queeq out
  15. Darth-hole Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 1, 2000
    star 2
    right...
    yoda in ESB - porridge scene
    owen & beru in ANH - dead next time we see them.
    rancor in ROTJ- dies shortly after eating the guard.
    Qui-Gonn in TPM - eats grape, gets mauled.
    Jabba in ROTJ - eats, gets strangled.

    and there are more...
  16. JediGittes Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 19, 2000
    star 4
    This is off topic but I'd like it to stand for the record;

    I did not appreciate the term 'Jew-cooking'. Whatever the WWII analogy was trying to do - and I must confess that I didn't read ALL the conversation - such a reference is both offensive and inappropriate when discussing no more than a successful franchise of movies.
  17. ChrTh Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 22, 2000
    star 4
    Actually, I doubt either Fett or Vader eat, since that would've required removing masks (unless there's a hole that opens up)...

    Are there people who Don't eat and then die?
  18. Darth_Dolza Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 19, 2000
    star 5
    Probably, but I really don't see the point in trying to disprove the food theory by proving its converse. Logically, the theory is not exclusive; that is to say that there's nothing in it to say that if you don't eat, you'll live (people can starve, right?). It just says that those who eat have bad things happen to them...

  19. queeq Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 10, 1999
    star 4
    Gittes, yes that phrase was a bit bad form and not really fair in the light of that comparison, but so be it. It is done.

    Also, of people who die there is no evidence that they didn't eat. One example is OB1 in ANH. The clue to this riddle is the outline R2 shows him before he is off to shut down the tractor beam. If you check out these plans carefully you can see clearly OB1 has to pass the Imperial Cafetaria and my personal point of view is that I doubt he could have resisted the famous Imperial Turkey Sandwich.

    queeq out
  20. ChrTh Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 22, 2000
    star 4
    I'm sorry if I'm asking too many questions, but I'm curious.

    Is there a theory associated with drinking (non-alcoholic or otherwise)?
  21. Pushing Up The Daisies Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 3, 2000
    star 1
    Wow, this is a fascinating thread.

    I have a question regarding hair. Specifically, padawan braids. i noticed in the "On Location" with Hayden that Anakin's padawan braid isn't very long and is also very neatly trimmed. Now, I'm sure length has to do with how long he's been a padawan and all that, but in comparison to padawan Obi-Wan's braid, it's so tidy-looking.

    the "tail" of Obi-Wan's braid was a bit more shaggy and long and looked to be suffering from split-ends.
    http://www.theforce.net/multimedia/episodeiPics/Characters/Obi-Wan_Kenobi/Obi-01.jpg

    Is there anything significance to be found here, or should I just stop thinking of it altogether? ;-)
  22. Darth-hole Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 1, 2000
    star 2
    good thoughts Daisies, we must consider this further...
  23. jazztronaut Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 18, 1999
    star 4
  24. Darth-hole Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 1, 2000
    star 2
    thanks jazz, what a well thought up post that was.
  25. queeq Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 10, 1999
    star 4
    Great contribution, Daisies. We didn't really go into the braid stuff, so welcome to the beard/facial hair and food-thread.

    Drinks? Hmmm could there be some relevance. We already have the undisputed theory that Blue Milk does not cause harm. On other drinks, we have nothing so far.

    queeq out
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