The Official RHS Round Robin--A*** S*** versus The Naboo Royal Five Handmaidens

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by CrescentJedi, Feb 9, 2000.

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  1. GentleBant Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 21, 1999
    star 5
    Well...so far we have:
    1 vote to go back to UBB <G>
    and
    1 vote to paste the old posts into a new thread

    If no one else has a comment, I'll just copy and paste and see if anyone wants to start writing here again!
  2. GentleBant Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 21, 1999
    star 5
  3. Anika Skywalker Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2000
    star 4
    Umm... for the moment... continue the story! The cliffhanger is killing me!

    ~Anika Skywalker

  4. GentleBant Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 21, 1999
    star 5
    OK--so who wants to take the next part?
  5. GentleBant Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 21, 1999
    star 5
    Hmmm....I guess it's me. Now I just need to figure out where to go with this. (If anyone else reads this....er, wants to post, feel free to jump in!)
  6. GentleBant Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 21, 1999
    star 5
    Oh, and a gigantic "THANK YOU" to Paradox for deleting those video card mixed-in posts!!!
  7. jeditictac Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 14, 1999
    star 3
    S*** jerked the lightsaber in her hand and tried to ignite it again. A look of disgust crossed her face as the lightsaber remained unignited.

    She glowered at Yané and spat out in a louder voice than before,"What sort of poodu is this?!"

    For her part, Yané watched S*** struggle with the 'defective' lightsaber in calmness. She didn't let the smug smile escape onto her face; she didn't even raise a questioning eyebrow. Nor did she risk a look at Sabé who had taken leave to inch to the side of S*** as S***'s attention went to the 'faulty' lightsaber and it's silly maker.

    "It doesn't matter. I don't need a useless piece of - Wha!!" S*** cut off her statement as the lighsaber flew from her hand. She glanced to her side and a little behind just in time to see Sabé already in the middle of a jump which took her to Yané's side.

    Yané giggled as the lighsaber entered her hand, "Now as I was saying, we really would like those answers..."
  8. sorcha Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 9, 2000
    star 3
    Yané ignited the doodad and twirled it in her hand a few times.

    "Show-off" S*** uttered in utter dispair.

    "Shut up, worm!" Sabé hissed, "Answer our questions."

    "Never! I'll never answer your silly questions. You stupid little girls!" S*** stated.

    "Well, then," Anakin's voice piped in, "Perhaps you'll answer mine!"

    To that S*** laughed cruelly. "You! You mere MAN! Not even a MAN a mere speck of a BOY! Why should I answer your questions!" S*** continued, revealing her militant feminist sympathies.

    "Hey, I'm not a BOY I'm a jedi padawan and my name is Anakin!"

    "Oh, yeah, and I'm an angel!" She calls out to him, "padawan yeah right, more like padawimp," She mutters to herself.

    TBC

    BTW, I'm Yané of Naboo...trying out a new username to see if it fits.
  9. sorcha Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 9, 2000
    star 3
    Ok, that last post was bordering on the absurd, so I'll try to, uh, be more serious in this continuation...

    S*** stopped muttering to herself. Thoughts raced through her mind,::Meddling kids! They keep distracting me from my mission. My mission! That's right, I've got to kill that padawimp punk:: She allowed a small smile slip out as she imagined the shear pleasure she'd have ringing *Annie's* little scrawny neck. Chasitising herself, for allowing her mind to wander, she snapped her attention fully to Sabé, whom she would grudgingly allow to be her equal in fighting skills and thus her greatest threat.

    "Answers..." Sabé prodded.

    Suddenly changing her tactic, Sing responded, "What do you want to know?"

    Sabé looked surprised for a brief moment at S***'s sudden agreeability but quickly masked it.

    "Why did you attack the queen?"

    ::They think I'm after that girl?:: S*** thought to herself. ::Well, I'll let them think that. I'll have a better chance of taking out my real target that way::

    "Why do you think? Money of course." S*** answered, while mentally calculating how long it would take to grab her blaster and take out the kid, "Annie", that stood to her right.

    "Who's paying you?" Sabé's voice cut into S***'s thoughts.

    "Well, that's a long a story..." S*** responded. She considered her situation. Sabé, directly in front of her. That other girl, Yané, to Sabé's right. Of course, her target, on the other side of Sabé and directly to her right, little *Annie.* ::But wait!?,:: she thought to herself, ::Wasn't there another person with them? An older man? Dressed as a guard...::

    Before she had time to react, she felt someone walk up directly behind her...

    ****that's it for now. It seemed like poor Panaka was being ignored so I decided to bring him back into the story. Panaka to the rescue!
  10. GentleBant Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 21, 1999
    star 5
    (Thanks, sorcha.)

    Rabé chanced opening her eyes. Saché and Amidala, finally convinced that she would be OK, had raced off back toward the scene of the confrontation. The lack of communications from the other group had worried all of them immensely. Both handmaidens had tried to convince the queen to stay back "where it was safe," but Amidala, being as independent as she was, had refused. Leaving Kitster with Rabé "in case she needed anything" (as Saché noted with a quick wink), they'd left again almost immediatly after seeing her to their quarters. She had pretended to rest for several minutes, hoping that Kitster would eventually leave her side and allow her time to think.

    "Rabé? You're awake! Oh, good! Are you feeling better? Can I get you something to drink? Or eat? Do you need another pillow?" Kister threw out the line of questions one right after another, not even giving her time to respond. Rabé sighed. Kitster was about to respond to the sigh with another spout of concern when Rabé suddenly interrupted him.

    "Actually, Kitster, there is something you CAN do for me," she said gently. The softness of her voice and the smoothness of her accent had the desired soothing effect she had hoped for.

    "You do? Anything!" Kitster almost croaked. ("Wow," he thought. I can help HER!") He sat stiffly upright in an effort to look more able.

    "Yes--I need you to go back to the market area and listen abit...try to see if anyone knows what that stranger was after. And....Kister!" she almost yelled as he ran out the door. "Be very careful, and don't ask too many questions. Remember, the queen's visit her is a secret--we don't need any extra attention!"

    Kitster nodded his understanding enthusiastically and bolted for the door. He paused. "But what about you? I'm supposed to stay and help you!"

    Rabé smothered a groan and sat up. "See, I'm doing much better. And you'll be helping all of us, Kitster. This is something no one else can do for us."

    Satisfied, the love-struck boy headed out into the streets.

    "Now, to redress this wound." Rabé grimaced at the stiffness in her body that had already begun to set in and headed for the medpac in the antéchamber.






  11. sorcha Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 9, 2000
    star 3
    No problem, GB. I felt bad, neglecting the story for so long.

    BTW, any contributors object to my archiving the story at "The *Elusive" Yané" when it is finished??
  12. Saché of Naboo Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 23, 1999
    star 2
    EVERY Time I want to post here, I never get around to it! Gah! Anywho.... I promised Jos, so here we go! AND it has my own specialized... Flavor to it. (Unfortunately, I've been so out of the loop, it's not quite up to par.) So, be warned. Bwa ha ha ha ha! And, Sara, knock your socks off.
    *************************************************
    "Before she had time to react, she felt someone walk up directly behind her... "
    *************************************************
    The next thing A**** S*** knew, she was stuck in one heck of a tight headlock, Panaka's arm wrapped firmly around her neck as he started screaming! "Yippee! Look at me! Universal Wrestling Federation EAT YOUR HEART OUT!" Suddenly, he threw her to the ground, but as he prepared to give S*** the "People's Elbow" she managed to roll out of the way and give Panaka a "low blow".

    "Don't even TRY that on me, little man!" S*** sneered.

    Sabé rushed to Panaka's side as he rolled and groaned on the sandy ground. He would be out of commission for a VERY long time.

    Unfortunately, with a quick "snap-hiss" S*** once again found herself staring at the business end of one very angry Yané's homemade "doodad".

    "Don't move."

    "Oh, shiat!" S*** muttered under her breath. Yané merely grinned in that evilly sillé way that she was her trademark.... And this time, there were two more people in HM garb standing directly beside her, aiming their blasters straight in her face.
  13. sorcha Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 9, 2000
    star 3
    LOL, Saché. Either that was genuinely funny or I am up way too late.
  14. Saché of Naboo Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 23, 1999
    star 2
    Meanwhile, back on the streets of Mos Espa, Kitster was having the time of his life playing "Super Spy". Anything to make his Rabé proud of him. He walked up to a shady looking character and asked him straight out, "Excuse me, sir, but I've been looking for info on someone. She has long fingers and is very pale and is really mean, and has an antenna growing out of her head and is either wearing a very tight red body-suit or a lot of strategically placed body-paint. Would you happen to know anything about her?"

    "No."

    "Oh. Ok! I won't bother you anymore, then! THANKS ANYWAY!" And with that, Kitster skipped off to annoy some other hapless person who was unlucky enough to be wandering in the streets at that time of day.


    **************

    Rabé, for all of her worrying about the queen, had resigned herself to sitting this little adventure out. In all honesty, it was very rare when she got a break, and as long as nothing came up, she was planning on enjoying her little "injury-leave" as best as she could. After redressing her wound and turning on the comm device that Yané had recently modified "just in case", she stretched out onto the couch and started digging through the food prep.

    "Hmmm..... Let's see.... processed, processed, freeze-dried AND processed... I want grapes, dang it! Skinless! Fed to me by lots and lots of really pretty, scantily-clad men...." At that, Rabé sighed and continued to drift off into her own, personal fantasy land. Had anyone been there to see her, they might have noticed that she was drooling....

    That is, of course, until something over the comm device caught her attention. She snapped out of La-La-Land with a quick shake of her head. She supposed that dreams and fantasies of Obi-Wan Kenobi in a loin cloth and adhering to her every whim were going to have to wait for another day, much to her great disappointment. Rabé quickly turned her attention back to the wide-band comm device to hear....

    *************************************************
    Wow! Two cliff-hangers in a row! Go me! Go me! And that is to make up for my lack of participation in the RR. Don't shoot, please!
  15. sorcha Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 9, 2000
    star 3
    LOL, again Saché. Wow, Rabé certainly has an active imagination...
  16. Saché of Naboo Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 23, 1999
    star 2
    That's because it's mine! (Just replace the words "loin cloth" with "KILT!") Heh heh!
  17. sorcha Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 9, 2000
    star 3
    Gosh, Saché, I never knew you liked Men in KILTS!
    Who would've guessed?! ;)
  18. Saché of Naboo Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 23, 1999
    star 2
  19. Angel_of_Naboo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 18, 2000
    star 4
  20. GentleBant Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 21, 1999
    star 5
    Oh, geez....<G> I can't even begin.....how do I follow up below-the-belt shots and Obi-fantasizing?????
  21. GentleBant Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 21, 1999
    star 5
    Argh! How'd we forget about Eirtaé for two pages????
    *************************************************
    Slowly shaking her head, Eirtaé sat up. The wind had been knocked out of her, but otherwise she was OK. She glanced toward the voices at the front part of the cave....

    If she really was OK, why was everyone so BluRrY?
  22. Angel_of_Naboo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 18, 2000
    star 4
  23. GentleBant Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 21, 1999
    star 5
    Shaking off the dizzy feeling that threatened to overcome her, Eirtaé made her way to the front of the cavern. She had more important things to attend to, for now.

    Acknowledging her presence while maintaining a death-aim-hold on her weapon, Yané spoke slowly and carefully, in order that their newly re-subdued captive might not hear.
    "Sabé, perhaps you could stay with me while Eirtaé helps the good captain, er, 'regain his composure.'"
  24. sorcha Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 9, 2000
    star 3
    To the top, I say!

    Don't worry, Mr. Thread, I haven't forgotten you.

    gee, I'm weirder than usual tonight.

  25. GentleBant Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 21, 1999
    star 5
    I think we all did.....:~D

    Poor neglected story! I'm under the weather, so forgive me if this installment isn't very creative. Oh, and anyone out there reading this, feel free to jump in!
    **************************
    Eirtaé brushed aside the last of her dizziness and moved to hoist Panaka up. He groaned and spoke raspily, "Hey! Easy....there.....ooooohhhh" She ignored his protests and began slowly half-carriying him down the cliffside. "You COULD use with a little weight-loss there, captain," she muttered, to no response.


    Meanwhile, Yané and Sabé were not about to allow their captive get up on her own. With a quick glance, she noted that Amidala and Saché had nearly rejoined the group. There would be no escape....

    Suddenly, a lightening-quick movement from the creature caught her eye. Anakin, guided by the Force, tried to duck but was too late. A handful of stones pelted him in the face. As the boy cried out, Yané swung with her sabre and Sabé fired, but the dust kept them from getting a good, clean shot. When it had cleared, she was gone.

    Saché and Amidala reached the cave at this moment. Amidala rushed to Anakin's side, while Saché turned and pointed--"There!" The bounty hunter had appropriated one of the group's speeders and was heading swiftly across the desert.

    From the cliff, Eirtaé saw the bluish figure make a flying jump and deftly rapel down the solid rock face. Unable to get to her blaster because doing so would have caused her to drop Panaka, she muttered a few rather harsh Nubian street words she'd picked up. She managed to get Panaka to an outcropping and set him down in time to respond to Sabé's transmission. "HM2 here...yes, saw her...seems to be heading back to town. Someone had better let Rabé know." Sighing, she hoisted Panaka back to his feet and continued down the rocky path with her still-protesting load.
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