The Official "Wow, that was a good line!" Thread

All -

As you all know, during the course of a game people will have good lines. They may be spontaneous utterances that are hilariously funny or just good in character, or they may be straight (or modified) quotes from Star wars or other movies.

Whatever the case, bring 'em here. Jot 'em down. Share with the group.

So far, the two best ones I've got:

Setting: Our space transport is being pursued by an old Sith battleship. My character taps into the space station he's shut down overhead to bring online the torpedo launchers while our Force Adept maintains an Illusion, partially masking us... three rounds later, after the tube is finally warmed up:

GM: "The torpedo launcher is powered up."
Me: //gets into standing position with one foot up my chair. Clenched fist out in front of me. [Captain Kirk]"Fire!"[/Captain Kirk] (I got 50 XP for nailing the line/pose so dead-on)

Then...
Setting: About to be lowered in carbon-freeze by bounty hunters looking to incapacitate me to collect my bounty. My girl, the former Emperor's Hand, standing nearby. The rest of the party is looking to her, excepting the Leia line... instead...

Her: "They will pay."
Me: "I know."

 

My Wookiee was trying to hide in a garbage can, but the entire group was seen by the local security (not pleasant people). Despite being outnumbered, Chunky the Wookiee drew his bowcaster and cocked it.

To which another PC said, "He's a real can of Whoop-Ass!"

 

have a growing list, but not all SW related.

careful, there's some naughty words and we all know that's how satan enters children's groins.

http://www.geocities.com/malxkarma/quotes.html

 

here's a post by someone wyndryder who posts at this board, was in the 'worst thing your character has done' thread. anyway it made me laugh!

"My friend was trapped on a post apocolyptic Coruscant.
We were in a YT 1300 being chased by 12 TIE fighters, going about Mach 2.
My character, the brilliant Jedi Knight, decided to Jump out of the bottom port hole to get to him.
One character tried to talk me out of it, and I got a character point for saying "I don't have time to discuss this in a comittee."
I barely succeeded in my telekinesis role, and didn't get a bruise from the building I hit at Mach 2."

 

I have two lines that people in my gaming group really liked, and to this day I still cannot account for why. Just so you know we were not playing Star Wars, but it was an RPG.

My character was the usual cliched "mysterious" character, and a question came up within the game between my character and an NPC, to which I responded something to the effect, "I'm so mysterious that I don't even know where I come from." The GM liked it for some reason.

Some of the same friends that I was gaming with also like to make home-made movies. In one of these movies I said a lame line while playing a lame character, "I'm going to shoot him with my gun." For some reason, they all just latched on to it. So in gaming sessions they started looking my way when when a combat encounter was in progress. And I didn't necessarily have to say, "I'm going to shoot him with my gun" to satisfy them. Any variation on "I'm going to X him with my Y" (slash him with my claws, punch him with my fist, kick him with my foot) gave them perverse delight. Don't ask me why though, I don't know why they got hung up on it. I don't really think it was a good line personally, but they sure liked it.

 

A failed con roll to get past a bouncer during a security lockdown at a casino led to this line in d6.
"I'm sorry, I seem to have run out of options in my dialog box."
The bouncer double taked, but the bribe was what actually got him out of the building.

 

Haven't played enough SW for any good one-liners there.

But...

In a Vampire: The Masquerade game I was playing, the Storyteller had us run into a succubus living out in Chicago's slums. Well, needless to say, with her utterly superhuman appearance and talent at seduction, she managed to, um, wake the undead, as it were. And when it was all over, she looked happy and ready for more, while the rest of us were running low on blood.

Afterward, our Storyteller asked us what we learned, to see how much xp we got. I said, "There's just no pleasing some women."

I got the most xp of everyone.

 

There's the Always famous... "Disappate THIS!" line with a slugthrower of course, but there are a few others if i can just rack my memory here....

Ok, this is a bad one so i'm not sure if i can post it here, if not, just... edit me out


GM:"Ok, you guys see a kind of Rock, with a Crack."

Us: "We look inside"

GM: "Ok, inside the rock with the crack there is a bush Groin(Misspoke, ment to say growing) out of it. theres also a little head thing in there"

Me: "So it's a rock, with a crack, with a bush Groin out of it and it has a little head in it? Anybody else get an image there?"

We razzed him about his choice of words on that one for weeks afterwords.

 

This is one moment that stays with the group for a long time...

Setting : An Imperial base has to be removed with a small task force. My character, Nebur Eneri(slicer) and a co-player, Zim Areejan(weapon expert), decided to split up to take care of two reactors in the base. Zim had a bag filled with a few dozen thermal detonators to blow up one reactor, whilst I would be taking care of the other reactor with the help of a NPC.

Anyways, I was busy taking care of several matters, whilst Zim quietly snuck into the base. As I was quietly slicing a computer to open a door, Zim calls me over the communicator.

Zim : This is Areejan, I just placed the thermal detonators.
Nebur : Good. How much detonite did you place there?
Zim : The whole bag.
<pause>
Nebur : THE WHOLE BAG?!

Needless to say, we had to hurry out of the base to avoid the ensuing explosion.

 

Actually, I was recently reminded of my last Dark Jedi campaign. The resident insane Dark Sider decided cannibalism was perfectly acceptable, even justified with some cockamayme excuse. His great plan, fast food jionts that cater to people on the move. The name? McVaders! Where the motto is, "Well, lets just say there's a little bit of rebel in all of us!"

 

Well, we've had little good lines in our SW gaming, though a whole lot of good one in D&D coming from the dwarf in our group.

"Don't worry woman, ye'll sleep beside me, and I'll sleep inside ye."

Upon talking with a gnome woman living in a hill.
"Sorry, I don't talk to vegetables"

Hoisting the rescued gnome over his shoulder, there was a bit more from the dwarf.
Gnome: "Oh, its horrible"
Me: "Yes, the world can be a horrible place sometimes.
Dwarf:"Aye, I'll take me bath later!"

Or the dispute with the goblin sorcerer.
Dwarf telling the DM: I ready an action to cut the goblin's head off if he moves.
The ranger telling the DM: I ready an action to cut the dwarf's head off if he cuts the goblin's head off.

 

We had a good one in a Warhammer Fantasy Role Play game a couple of yrs ago. I cant remember it exactly but it goes something like this.

Setting: Seedy city inn

Dwarf: What 'other' services do you provide?
GMgestures towards the door(which has a window in it)* Well we have her.

As this was said one of the school's ugly cleaning ladys walked past the door in perfect timing with the GM's gesture. That cracked us up for ages.

 

Actually, a Warhammer Fantasy game that occured last night.
3 out of 5 of us have the skill Sixth Sense, which allows an Initiative check to see if someone is watching you.
Our caravan was camping for the night while our head teamster decided to take a leak.
Bender, the Racantour: "Well, he's a goner!"
He comes back, and five minutes later he's out peeing again.
Bender: "Man, this guy likes to tempt fate!"
He comes back yet again, and promptly decides he needs to take a dump. And comes back yet again.
Bender: "Man, I almost decided to kill you just to show it's not safe to pee at night!"

Now, to make matters worse, we all make that Sixth Sense roll, and all of us promptly fail. My silliness, induced by the fact that it was 2am and it was a long day, sits up and starts singing "I kinda feel like, no one is watching me!" complete with higher pitched voice. The GM almost spit Diet Pepsi on me.

 

Oh, I have tons of these.


Kamatong: "Well, while they're working stuff out, I'm gonna get laid." (if you knew the player, you'd know he never says that kind of thing )


Satan: "I am Lucifer, Lord of Darkness, Devourer of Souls, Flayer or Flesh and bone!"

Deuce: "I'm Deuce Nevada, and I don't give a ****!"



Robo: "I am a robot. Beep."



Cev: "Hey, Lars, if you die, can I have your *** surgically implated on mine?"

Deuce: "And can I have your liver?"

Audrey: "And I could use a new eye."

Lars: "Stop harvesting me with your eyes."

Audrey: "Ahem!"

Lars: "Er...eye."

 

Ok, this one is from D&D but it's still funny.

So i'm a 15th Level wizard and i have been summoning Demons to do my bidding for a little while now. Of course, this begins to piss them off and so they sent a contingent of demons to slay me and my party. (Of course, the party has no idea that i've been summoning demons to do things, but we move on)

So we get attacked on the road one evening and find ourselves surrounded by a wall of Fire on all four sides of us. I, along with the other Spell caster, smartly cast Dimension Door which allowed us to exit the walls of fire without Harm.

Once outside there sat the three demons, on Pit Feind and to others, weaker, but still a threat.

We battle for a bit, gettting the others out of the wall and generally staying out of melee combat with them (I'm a Wizard not a Fighter! I had to yell at them repeatedly every time they called me a coward.)

So all but one of them eventually gets tied up with a fighter-type in melee, this one, of course, goes after me. So i'm flipping thou8gh my list of speels, tring to decied the best way to fight him. I happen to glance at my Summon Monster VIII speel and noticed that Greater Elementals are part of that list. Thinking they would make good Meat walls i flip to that section of my Monster Maunual and open up to the elementals. Lo and behold the page i open to has the earth elemental. I looked at it's special abilities which, for some reason, also contined the weight of the Earth Elemental by Type.

Getting a sudden mischivos grin on my face (Which all the players know usually means i'm about to do something really smart, or almost get them all killed, their never quite sure) and ask the DM, "Hom much damage to falling objects do?"

"1d6 Per 100 Pounds."

"Excelent."

"Ok, i'm gonna cast my Summon Monster VIII spell to summon a greater earth elemental."

"Ok, where do you want to put it?"

"Ohh, about .25 inches above the demons head."

DM: "Aww ****, what does that thing weigh?"

"Only 54,000 Pounds."

Needless to say 540d6 Damage turned the demon into demon Paste(Which BTW, i'm gonna use for a Power Spell component for a different speel, making it even more poweerful.)

What do you guys think? Doing more damage with an 8th Level spell than an Epic level spell any good?

 

Not to derail the thread, but I believe summoning incantations had to occur within a prepared circle -- which eliminates the possibility of "death by above" from an earth elemental... ;

 

No, no, thats Calling, those i did, but the Summon monster spells allowed you to create them anywhere within the range, which is 25ft+5ft/level. IIRC

 

Hmmm. I think there was a hilarious thread at Monte's boards called "Summon whale = meat walls" or something similar. I'll see if I can find it, but I think Monte ruled out the "death from above" chance.

 

at one of our sw rpg nights. my buddy, a duro force adept, a squib, and the devaronian soldier were escaping a group of drug runners on bimmisaari. we were staying a small town on the planet and were hard up for money.
we had made off with some weapons from a previous engagement and decided we would go to weapons shop to sell or trade.
well my buddy the duro, decided he would like to care of the trading with the manager.
the following ensued:
Duro: hey how are you doing
manager: good what can i help you with?
duro: would you like to buy some illegal weapons?
well that line has now been his trademark.

 

Actually Dp, the key isn't that it had a summoning circle, but that that spell should be at least a full round action. Surely a Pit Fiend could teleport out while a player was whipping that nasty surprise up. I know my GM would be a pain and do that to me.

 

Actaully, it's only a Standard Action to cast a Summon Monster Spell. And, while the demon can see me casting a speel, i don't belive that they have ranks in speelcraft and, therefor, couldn't ID the spell. Even if they do and could, who would expect it to drop outta the sky right onto your head? You'd expect it to appear right in front of you.

That was my reaosning anyway. the Dm allowed a Reflex save, but becuse it came into being about 1 in. above it's head he ruled that the DC would be too high for it to make, so it auto failed.

 

Getting a sudden mischivos grin on my face (Which all the players know usually means i'm about to do something really smart, or almost get them all killed, their never quite sure) and ask the DM, "Hom much damage to falling objects do?"

"1d6 Per 100 Pounds."

"Excelent."

"Ok, i'm gonna cast my Summon Monster VIII spell to summon a greater earth elemental."

"Ok, where do you want to put it?"

"Ohh, about .25 inches above the demons head."

DM: "Aww $#^%, what does that thing weigh?"

"Only 54,000 Pounds."

Needless to say 540d6 Damage turned the demon into demon Paste(Which BTW, i'm gonna use for a Power Spell component for a different speel, making it even more poweerful.)



I laughed so hard I cried!

 

This is from a game in which we were just messing around mostly, very funny at the time.
"Do you ascend into heaven? ...roll!"

 

Random lines from last night.

"And the funny thing is, it's still just a banana."

"I had snoo-snoo."

"Alright, it's official, Deuce is insane."

"Damn you Sectee, you've screwed me again!"

"What's this button do?"

"I look up."

"I jiggle the door knob."

"Great, now I look like a peacock!"

"A gazebo? I have the ride ability..."

"Blonde, brunette, and redhead? That thermal detonator killed me, and I'm in heaven!"

"Oh my God, you just purged Darth Vader of the Dark Side!"

"What smells like blue?"

"Wait, did you just say Lina Inverse? ****!"

"What's with this crazy ****ed up world anyway?!"

 

Yeah, the gazebo solves every situation