The Official "Wow, that was a good line!" Thread

Discussion in 'Games: RPG & Miniatures' started by dp4m, Apr 29, 2003.

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  1. Jacen13 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 17, 2002
    star 2
    "Oh my GOSH! SHE'S GOING TO KILL US!!!!!


    I think I need a Dethstick!"

    From a paranoid Bothan played by my younger cousin.

  2. Charlemagne19 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2000
    star 7
    Here's one that happened yesterday

    "I have a good feeling about this."
    "Oh?"
    "I have a good feeling we're going to die."
  3. Shadowen Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    May 11, 1999
    star 3
    I played a Dwarven Fighter in D&D once who was not afraid to do what he needed to win the fight.

    One battle. "Okay, so I'm on my back at this guy's feet, with my axe kncoked out of my hand?"

    "Yup."

    "Hmmm...I'll punch him in the balls."

    This was in a gladiatorial arena, and the crowd went "Ooooooh..."

    Later, in the same fight, punched the same guy in the same spot. This time, "The crowd groans again. Some guy yells, 'Dude, stop it!' "
  4. dp4m Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 8, 2001
    star 9
    My Force-blind (and thus Force-unaffected) character sneaking next to a Sith Lord who activated Hatred and caused the other party members to receive the penalties...

    "Your Fear leads to your Anger, your Anger leads to your Hatred... your Hatred leads to your Suffering."

    //inserts lightsaber into Sith Lord
  5. Warrior_of_Mandalore Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 1, 2003
    star 4
    This one just happened today.

    My group had been faking emergencies on an Imperial starship. This caused troopers to come in, at which point we'd pick them off one by one. We finally reached the captain of the ship, who, upon seeing us, said, "Ah, so you were causing all of the trouble. I knew something was fishy." I, being the logical and anylitical droid, pulled my E-11, pointed it at the captain's head and said, "I see no evidence of fish."

    I blew his head of.
  6. dizfactor Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 12, 2002
    star 5
    both of these were actually player lines said out of character.

    a somewhat eccentric wandering Jedi and his extremely cranky labor droid companion were floating in a debris field scavenging for parts. the Jedi was inside the ship and the droid was outside, looking for spare parts while tethered to an airlock, griping and kvetching and bemoaning the day he was activated and became involved with a master who had such a poor grasp of basic mechanics and hygiene.

    suddenly, a ship in distress came tearing by with two bounty hunters' ships in hot pursuit. the Jedi shuts down power to look like space trash as the bounty hunters swoop by, and then hits the power and chases after them. Jedi to the rescue, right? yes, but, of course, when he shut down the power, the droid got locked outside, and when he took off, the droid was still tethered to the outside and hanging on for dear life.

    the droid's player starts examining his character sheet and says:

    "hmmm... now, how many languages can i swear in?"

    the other classic line was uttered by the hotshot Iktotchi courier pilot's player. we are playing in the TOTJ/KOTOR time period 4000 years or so before the movies. one player made fun of the pilot's player and the pilot's player retorted with:

    "hey, my character made the Kessel Run in less than 18 parsecs! that's a record that will stand FOREVER!"
  7. Senator_Cilghal Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2003
    star 5
    One time my friend was Gming a mission, and I was the only player for this particular mission. My PC was Deriac the Hutt (aka, Gardulla the Younger in NJO). My friend is big on D &D, and his missions are heavy on fantasy elements. My character ended up undulating about a haunted mansion where evereything kept trying to kill her--the gardening tools, the walls of the house, a demon-possessed little girl, etc. Finally, my character encountered a giant spider and its children intent on eating me, and the GM asked me what I would do. My character said, "Uhm--I think I'll just go home now."

    And left the mansion.

    P.S. i did finally resolving the situation by buying a million tons of TNT and blowing up the entire mansion, demons and all.
    -------------------------------------

    One time I was GMing a game set between TPM and AOTC. A Gungan bounty hunter PC forgot Palpatine was now Chancellor instead of Senator of Naboo. He was told to give a sealed letter to the Senator of Naboo. He was supposed to give it to Amidala. The letter revealed Palpatine's identity as D. Sidious. He mistakenly gave it to Palpatine instead of Amidala, thus dooming the Republic to the new order.

    Very depressed, he was in a gloomy mood, this Gungan. Then he ran into my character, Deriac the Hutt.

    Deriac: "Hey, what's bothering you?"

    Gungan: "I have just doomed everything good and beautiful in the Galaxy and sealed the fate of the Republic...[long mournful speech]."

    Deriac: "Hmm. Yeah? Well, these things happen. Let's go get something to eat."
    -----------------------------------------
    Another good line from that campaign:

    "Idiot. You just knocked Yoda unconcious with that couch!"
    -----------------------------------------

    Another quote:

    Deriac: "Hey, tour guide, what should we do now--Oh, wait, forgot, I ate you."
    --------

    As the Jedi depart the exploding Borg Cube, Yoda mourns his dearly departed, assimilated, infected, exploding companion.
    Yoda: "No! My mumu! Muuuuu-muuuuuu!"
    -------------

    Supreme Chancellor Tedat: "Eat your enemies!" (campaign slogan, demonstrated by eating campaign's chief villain)
    ---------------------------------------------

    OOU:

    Player: I shove the thermal grenade up my nose to prevent it from exploding.

    GM: Uhm, OK. Are you sure you want to do that?

    Player: Yeah, I'm a Star Dragon, I can handle this.

    GM: OK. The thermal grenade blows your head clean off and we all die.

    -------------------------------------------
    The following uses some paraphrase, do to poor memory:

    GM: You're ship is headed towards the surface of the planet, where it will crash.

    Character 1: I try to hotwire the controls.

    Character 2: I get in the escape pod.

    GM: The control are not responding.

    Character 1: I try to use the Force to slow down the descent of the ship.

    Character 2: I'm closing the door.

    GM: Well, that didn't work.

    Character 1: I try it again. I'm not going to lose this ship, I just bought it!

    Character 2: I'm ejecting the Escape Pod.

    [ship crashes; Character 1 lives only due to the mercy of the GM]
    ----------------------------

    Newbie Player: "Whoa! My character thinks all of you are scary. He buries himself in the snow, curls up in a fetal position, and dies."
    ------------------------------------------

    GM (speaking to Colicoid PC): "You see a beautiful female member of your species. She is the pristine vision of physical perfection. Your ideal mate. The woman you have searched for all you life. She gracefully leaps from the top of the waterfall to the pristine pool--but misses the mark, and lands splat on a hard rock, ending up a pile of goo."
    --------------------------------

    GM: These caverns are filled with exotic beasts from across the Galaxy. Any beast you could want for a pet is here, if you can capture it.
    NEWBIE PC: I want a golden pony!
    GM: A golden pony?
    NEWBIE PC: Give me a golden pony!

    ------------------------------------------
    GM: If you want to be a Jawa, that's great., But little is really known about the Jawas, what they look
  8. DarthArraKul Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2003
    star 2
    here's one form the last session

    jedi padawan: "........ people who are not gifted in the force."

    scoundrel: " uh yeah, we like to call ourselves, NORMAL."
  9. Daemon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 8, 2002
    star 2
    Our group is infamous for this. Examples as follows:

    GM: You come out of the brush and see an Imperial probe droid... it's big red eye facing in your direction.

    PC: Does it see me?

    Trying to evade Imperial pursuit on a Coruscant sea:

    Imperials: Do you need assistance?

    PC: No, I'm fine!

    Imperials: Your boat is sinking: we're going to board you and help you out

    PC: It's a test of my endurance! I must not fail!

    Imperials: Prepare to be boarded

    PC: Allrighty!

    A bit later

    Imperials: Hey! You're Bothan!

    PC: No, I just haven't shaved in a while!

    Trying to free a Rebel hostage from a bounty hunter group.

    PC1: Let's just storm their base!

    PC2: No way!

    PC1: Why not?

    PC2: They're bounty hunters! They might bounty us!

    Running through the bowels of Coruscant, where one of the natives delicacies is a large bee-creature. PC's are arguing about the protection of our Duros friend.

    PC: We've got to protect him! They might think he's a bee or something!

    PC2: A bee?! He's blue!
  10. Malshabek Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 10, 2002
    star 6
    I was playing as my Noghri Malshabek and I was down to about 5 HP while fighting a Force Adept under control of the Vong through coral implants. The Force Adept was getting weaker so I decided as a last stand to pull out my Vibro-knife and throw it for his head. I rolled a 1 on my attack role and the knife was let go early. It went straight into my foot for 7 damage.

    My last words: "Oh... crap." *falls to the floor* [face_laugh]

    All attempts at reviving me met with failure and I died several turns later.
  11. Jedi_Knight_Jonas Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2003
    star 3
    Duro Scoundrel: "Gimme the bomb!!"
    Human Soldier: "NO!!!"
    Duro Scoundrel: "I can defuse it!!!"
    Human Soldier: "NO!!! I CAN HANDLE THIS!!!"
    Duro Scoundrel: "GIMME THE ****IN BOMB!!!"
    BOOM
  12. Jedi_Knight_Jonas Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2003
    star 3
    While standing in on a senate meeting, my duro scoundrel whispers to the rodian jedi next to him:

    "chancellor paltapine's gay, pass it on."

    *********************************************

    famous last words of a gungan scout:

    "CHEETOS!!! THIS ONES FOR THE CHEETOS!!!!"
  13. MethaneDealer Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 9, 2003
    star 1
    To stormtrooper guard just before I shot him in the back and we stormed the base:

    "Man, your stupid worker just puked all in my ship!"
  14. dp4m Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 8, 2001
    star 9
    Ah, I can't believe I haven't posted this yet...

    A Hapan former-slave, now-Jedi (NPC) is creating a New Republic (out of the ashes of a Sith Empire) and is composing a speech and running it by one of the Jedi Masters (PC)...

    NPC: "(to the Hapan Queen Mother) There is a wind sweeping through the Galaxy -- the wind of freedom!"
    PC: "Who are you to break that wind?!?"
  15. MethaneDealer Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 9, 2003
    star 1
    Kind of a "How dare you break wind before me?" "I'm sorry baby, I didn't know it was your turn!" sort of thing?
  16. MethaneDealer Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 9, 2003
    star 1
    I think one of my favorites was with a group I used to play with. We had a human soldier named Dobdar (he was played sort of like a "space redneck," I guess) who liked to spit in his comlink because it "worked better that way." Anyway, we were on Tatooine to get some information from one of his contacts (a Hutt, but not the Hutt he knew before being frozen in carbonite for 150 years after causing the apocalypse, the Hutt's son(?)). This is the exchange that took place:

    Dobdar: Hey, how's it going?
    Hutt: Do I know you?
    Dobdar: Well, sort of, who's ya pappy-mammy?
    Hutt: What?
    Dobdar: You know, who's ya mama-daddy?
    Hutt: I don't understand...
    Dobdar: WHO SIRED YOU?!!

    Then there was the exchange in the cantina between me (a Wookiee Force Adept/Bounty Hunter) and Sobrano (a Cheech Marin-esque X-wing pilot):

    Me: I sit down at the bar and order a Tatooine Sunburn.
    GM: After you order, a strange looking human wearing an orange flight suit strides in and sits on the stool next to you.
    Sobrano: Hey, bartender, give me 2 Reactor Cores...
    Bartender: Are you sure, that's pretty tough stuff...
    Sobrano: Hey, I'm Sobrano, I can do dat!!
    Bartender: Okay, here.
    GM rolls Fort saves, both fail.
    Sobrano: Whoa man, where'd all these mushrooms come from? Oh, crap, man! I gotta get back to my ship! Hey, which one of you mushrooms is the door, man? (fondles Wookiee) Hey, this mushroom has fur, man! Oh, there's the doorknob.
    Me: <pained Wookiee roar>
    Sobrano: Hey, when'd doors start doing that, man?
  17. Jedi_Knight_Jonas Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2003
    star 3
    Sith Lord:(while force lightning my character) TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!!!!
    Me: What? From behind like your dad?

    He fried me for that one.
  18. anakin_skywalker_sct Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Apr 18, 2001
    star 5
    I've got one! :)

    It was late on in the campaign, probably the second last session, and we had finally got all the pieces to the puzzle. We'd looked for a key-disc to open a droid to find some data and stuff and eventually what it all boils down to is that we have found secret, preliminary plans for a new weapon.

    So the GM describes the weapon as a "great sphere of steel, larger than any space station you have ever seen, perhaps the size of a small moon, with one huge crater-like dish in is side housing what looks like an array of superlasers, all focusing towards one point".

    So I squint at the imaginary hologram rotating in the air and I says "I can see a design flaw in that thing."

    The GM gave me a "wit point" for that one. :)
  19. JediLeeora Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 22, 2004
    star 3
    I geuss this was funny for some reason to my freinds but I have no clue why.
    We had been caught in a space pirates tracter beam and brought aboard. They opened our doors and I quickly used the force to push all the thermal detanators to on and shut the door and yelling: Don't F*** with me I'm crazy! There really wasn't much of a ship after that...

    Another one was my brothers character,snoop, was impercinating an imperial gaurd at a training camp. he was trying to con the man incharge but keept rolling really low. Finally he stated: What time is it? The man said the time and snoop pulled out his blaster pistol and blew his head off saying Time for you to taste my wrath! He then sold the PARTS on the black market.
  20. dp4m Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Nov 8, 2001
    star 9
    My Soldier/Elite Trooper rounds a corner with his blaster and encounters an Anzati Telepath who's mind blasting his buddy...

    "SOUP'S ON!!!"
    //fires repeatedly
  21. MethaneDealer Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 9, 2003
    star 1
    Best one I've ever thought of, not from a Star Wars game, but from a weird D&D adaptation that my friend is running. I'm playing as myself (with a couple of funky things that happened to me, like becoming a bronze dragon), and I'm fighting Adolph Hitler, who is attempting to summon the elder gods from Call of Cthulu:

    "Sieg heil this, mother-f***er!!)
  22. dafettmanrox Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 10, 2003
    Okay set-up. Jar Jar's apartment a few years after Episode 3. Jar Jar is leaning against the glass of the apartment and he almost dead. I pull out my E-Weeb and completely annialate him. the glass shatters and he falls to the depths of Coruscant. Me and my group walk to the window and my partner, Erae, turns to us and says in a deep, slow voice, "You guys want some pancakes?"
  23. Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 9, 2000
    star 4
    LOL! My gaming group actually has a ritual now... we write these down as we go along, and ceremonially read them at the end.

    My two favorites are from the last X-wing squadron game:

    GM: It's some sort of glowing energy, confined in a tube. It's experimental.
    Pilot #5: Can we blow it up?

    And the other (between my friend & myself, based on her experiences in the previous 3 games):

    Pilot #3: Woo-hoo! I made it through a whole game without getting wounded!
    Me: Happy now?

    We've encountered robot spiders, built flame-throwing Gonk droids and abducted pizza delivery boys... My friends are scary. [face_love]

    And on that note:

    GM: The Empire has developed some sort of new energy source for their starships. It's highly guarded. Only a covert team is going to be able to steal it.
    Pilot 5 (remembering the last few adventures): So why are they sending us?
  24. trobon22 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2004
    This was from a session last night:

    I am running a campaign in an AU around KotOR time period. Our female twilek is a pilot for the republic. The characters were trying to break into a sith base. When they enter one of the guards sees them.

    Me (GM): Ok the guard asks you who you are. *Rolls Spot check* As she's saying that she notices the republic symbol on Nadia's jacket and press the alarm.

    My GF (Nadia): No wait my character took off her clothes before she came in.
  25. Charlemagne19 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2000
    star 7
    We should do an award or something. I loved the Gungan one about dooming the galaxy, the Sith Lord anal retort, and the eating your enemies.

    Here's some from our Imperial PC game set 11 years after RotS

    Grand General Tarkin (take note for the full effect that he's in knickers and golfing attire playing repulsor golf at the time): It's alright. I'm not so petty as to want to kill you just for calling me a 'tired old man who never did anything of note except getting lucky during one battle of the Clone Wars.'

    PC: (Caddying) Oh Thank you....

    Grand General Tarkin: In fact I'm going to watch your career with great interest to bring you onto my staff when you graduate.

    PC: Sir, that's wonderful!

    Grand General Tarkin: Of course you have to be the best to be on my staff. Do you know what happens if you're not at the top of your class in this Academy?

    PC: Uhhh no sir...

    Grand General Tarkin: *takes a swing, watches* I'll track you down and kill you and every single member of your family. If you drop out and try to hide then I will track down you and kill your family but then force you to eat their cold decompos....DAMNIT! I MISSED THE FRICKIN FAIRWAY....ing corpses. Then I will personally blasterflav you in the skull until you are dead.

    PC: Uhhhh...

    Grand General Tarkin: ACKBAR! ARE YOU DONE FINISHING MY BALLS OUT OF THE LAKE YET!?

    ***

    PC: Yeah, the Empire is in real trouble. I mean Palpatine is so old and feeble he has to eat through a straw and probably soils himself every afternoon. Let's not forget that his heir is this walking burn ward victim of everything wrong with the Clone Wars. In any case, its just a good thing that the real power resides with the Imperial Senate is all I'm saying.

    ***

    Academy Instructor: Alright, you come into a Rebel cell of Izzozian Water Fungus people. What do you do?

    PC: Shoot them.

    PC2: Shoot them

    PC3: Call them "Rebel scum" and shoot them
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