Beyond ~*~The Outcast~*~ (altered timeline- action) ***CHAPTER THREE UP***

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by corellian_chic242, Feb 21, 2005.

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  1. corellian_chic242 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 17, 2003
    star 6
    This story takes place in the year 38 AY, two years after the New Republic crumbled (due to frickin' Borsk Fey'lya :mad: ).

    I hope you enjoy. :)



    Chapter One

    INDENTThey took my ship. The deep violet lights of Cabra?s Cantina reflected off of Soraya Taricks? flaming gold hair, which had been hastily tied back to keep it from her face. A few strands escaped to fall over her gloomy visage. Bright green eyes, like angry pools of acid, stood out against the dark circles beneath them Her face was smudged with dirt and who knows what else, covering the lovely smattering of freckles on her fair skin.
    INDENTShe groaned and let her face fall to the dirty tabletop with a thud. They took my bloody ship! A smuggler by trade by trade, Soraya was very attached to her Corellian freighter. But the Sec had deemed her to be a problem, and impounded her ship. They didn?t like independent operators taking their business.
    INDENTThe Coruscant Security Bureau, commonly known as the CSB or the ?Sec?, was both the government and the law enforcement on the city-planet. When the New Republic had fallen apart at the seams, the already-corrupt planetary police force had snatched up as much power as its greedy little fingers could hold, then more as it smothered it?s competitors. Soon, it controlled the entirety of Coruscant. It was immediately evident that they were more ?oppressive regime of black market traders? than a ?government?.
    INDENTCastraa Montice, the Director of the CSB, was very concerned with her standing in the galactic market, and therefore kept tabs on smugglers and other ?endorses of questionable trades? that could develop into a problem for the Bureau. Apparently, that?s exactly what Soraya had done in recent months. So Montice?s minions had taken possession of her lovely CEC RN-77 freighter, the Pure Sabacc. And, understandably, Taricks had been outraged when she tried to board her ship for a run. Her temper left dead the two officers who had been waiting at the hangar with the news. Now she was being hunter down as a cop killer.
    INDENTSlouching down in the ripped pseudo-leather seat, Soraya took a swig of her warm ale. Life sucked anyway. Even if she could get off Coruscant, everywhere else was just about as bad. The galactic fabric was in tatters.
    INDENTSoraya traced her manicured index finger in circles on the cheap tabletop, disturbing the thin layer of dirt and grime. As she brushed a lock of hair behind her ear, her attention was drawn to the doorway. A steroid-riddled monster of a Trandoshan stood there, dressed in the unmistakable red and black of the CSB. Another appeared beside him, scanning the clientele from behind the red-tinted goggles. Purple light reflected off of his assault rifle. Soon the entrance was full of Sec gunmen, causing the raucous conversation to fall to a nervous whisper.
    INDENTA tall, brown-haired man with a goatee pushed his way to the front of the mob and cast his icy stare across the room. Daggone it, Soraya groaned, attempting to melt into the shadows. It was Jon Talos, the nastiest of Montice?s colonels. And to her misfortune, a relation to the men she had killed.
    INDENTPressing herself into the seat, her mind began to race. The back door was a way off, but at this point it was her only option. She glanced back at Talos, who was now walking slowly through the crowd, examining the faces of the patrons. It was a big establishment, and the lights weren?t bright by any standard. The search would be tedious.
    INDENT?Here we go,? Soraya whispered to herself, sliding beneath her table. She slowly crawled across the dirty floor, watching the booted feet of her hunters between those of the bar?s patrons. The whisper of her pants across the filthy tiling was hidden by the now-muted conversations going on around her.
    INDENT
  2. PulsarSkate Ex-Mod

    Member Since:
    Nov 4, 2003
    star 7
    [face_thinking] I've heard some of those names before...


    This is really cool Vicki! :) I can't wait to read more of it... You've got a great knack for describing a scene and the sounds. I especially liked the description of Sora's pants making a noise of the floor. Most people would miss that!
  3. corellian_chic242 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 17, 2003
    star 6
    Thanks, Jessie! I'm glad you liked it. :)

    And the names.... Almost all of these characters have corresponding people in the Jedi Outcast, e.i. Jon Talos = Jon, Castra = Sel, Max Talos = Max.... *shrugs* Everyone is included as the story goes on. :)
  4. Ylesly Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 9, 2004
    star 5
    Nice Fic corellian_chic.
  5. CommanderConrad Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 30, 2003
    star 4
    ^^Hey, that rhymes. Anyway, I agree. Nice work so far.
  6. Laine_Snowtrekker Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2003
    star 5
  7. Laine_Snowtrekker Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2003
    star 5
  8. corellian_chic242 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 17, 2003
    star 6
    Thanks, Ylesly, Conrad, and Laine. :D And Conrad: you're quite a prolific writer! [face_shocked]
  9. LoneRanger Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 16, 2005
    star 3
  10. cristalvandepol Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 30, 2002
    star 5
    Eh, I'm glad to see this up and going again! Really good work Vicki! :D
  11. corellian_chic242 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 17, 2003
    star 6
    Thanks, Jesse and Crissy. :D

    I will try and post a new chapter each week, so look for number two on Sunday or Monday! :)
  12. CommanderConrad Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 30, 2003
    star 4
    And Conrad: you're quite a prolific writer!

    Thanks. I've worked hard to become so.
  13. corellian_chic242 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 17, 2003
    star 6
  14. corellian_chic242 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 17, 2003
    star 6
  15. Laine_Snowtrekker Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2003
    star 5
    Oh, I thought you'd made another post when you made that announcement over in the YJCC! Oops.
  16. corellian_chic242 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 17, 2003
    star 6
    Almost, Laine. ;) Here's Chapter Two! :)



    Chapter Two

    INDENTSoraya lay curled up on a couch in Kamrio?s apartment, sleeping peacefully despite her blaster wound. Her arms were tightly wrapped around a soft pillow, holding it close to her face. A thick blanket protected her from the advancing chill. Several curls of her fiery red hair spilled onto her face, contrasting sharply with her pale skin.
    INDENTKamrio sat in the kitchen, sipping at a glass of crystal cognac. He watched the sleeping figure through the doorway. Lights from passing speeders cast erratic rays and shadows across her peaceful form. Glancing at the dim glow panels above him, he rubbed his face tiredly. It had been a strange day.
    INDENTHe shook his head, bewildered, as he stood up and placed his empty glass in the sink. Looking at Sora one more time, he switched off the glow panels and headed to bed.

    * * *

    INDENTCaptain Tranogar sat before a data consol, carefully scanning the information in front of him. His clawed fingers flew across the keyboard. As the information scrolled, his eyes flickered across the screen.
    INDENTBeside him sat Laysi Pon-Devcris, a slim Falleen. She was one of the CSB?s top intelligence operatives. Her long black hair was pulled back and decorated with beads and combs, accentuating her exotic green visage. She carefully watched the screen, her violet eyes searching intently.
    INDENTSuddenly, one of her long nailed fingers dashed out and pointed at the screen. ?There. Scroll back a bit.? Tranogar did so, very slowly. ?There it is.?
    INDENTThe black-furred Togorian read off the information that she had indicated. ?G73-6U83-76W2-1302 ? Althm, Kamrio.? A feral grin spread across the officer?s face. ?Our old friend.? He laughed as he looked over at his companion. ?Bad move, guy. Bad move.?

    * * *

    INDENTThe office of Major Jon Talos, Director of Operations, was decorated in a very stark, crisp manner. The walls were a blinding white, while the floor and ceiling were jet black. His desk was of black tongha wood, polished to a shine. A few small objects, all glass, were arranged on its surface. A few large-leaved plants were artistically scattered around the room, providing the only color.
    ?Althm?? Jon looked up from his datapad. ?Didn?t we impound his ship a while back?? He gestured for the two officers before him to sit.
    INDENTTranogar nodded, while he and Laysi seated themselves in the white chairs opposite the major. ?Yessir, the Nightwing. Pon-Devcris and I entered the transponder codes of the escape vehicle into the computer and he came up as the owner.?
    INDENTTalos rested his elbow on the table, rubbing his chin. ?Is there any evidence that they know each other??
    INDENTLaysi fielded this question. ?The information suggests that this was a chance encounter, but there is always that possibility.?
    INDENTStroking his small beard, Jon closed his eyes. Tranogar and Pon-Devcris could almost hear him thinking. ?We know Althm?s address, correct??
    INDENTA small smile began to creep across his Executive Officer?s face. ?Yes, sir.?
    INDENTJon pursed his lips and nodded; of course they had his address. He sat forward and steepled his fingers. ?I do believe it is time we pay our friend a visit, Captain.?

    * * *

    INDENTSoraya lay on her stomach on the couch, having been awakened by a bout of searing pain in her thigh. She sighed and looked down at her wrist chronometer; the green digital display read 0241. I don?t want to be awake?. Rolling over with a groan, she buried her face in the pillow.
    INDENTAs she struggled to fall asleep again, she let her thoughts drift. But they always managed to return to her rescuer.
    [
  17. Laine_Snowtrekker Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2003
    star 5
    Cool post.

    Haven't you made a character for me already? I don't remember.
  18. corellian_chic242 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 17, 2003
    star 6
    Yes, I have. You come in in the next chapter. :)
  19. FuimusMaximus Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 21, 2003
    star 5
    I think the whole world yuo agree in saying this story needs more of max talos. ;)
  20. Raging_Ewok Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Feb 28, 2005
    Lovely story. Can't wait for the next chapter. :)
  21. corellian_chic242 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 17, 2003
    star 6
    Ah, too true, Max. Too true. ;)

    Thanks for the reviews, everyone! I'm glad you like it.
  22. Anakin_Padme4ever Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 29, 2002
    star 6
    Great fic, Vicki!! :D


    You know, tho, if you keep up with this story, you might just eventually bring me back on the boards more often. ;) :p


    But anyway, can't wait to see more! :)
  23. corellian_chic242 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 17, 2003
    star 6
    Gauri! :D I'm so happy you stopped by to read this.


    And bringing you back is my goal.... [face_devil]
  24. PulsarSkate Ex-Mod

    Member Since:
    Nov 4, 2003
    star 7
    As is it mine... [face_devil]

    Very cool second chapter Vicki :D I like the way you jump from perspective to perspective, it keeps the feeling of movement and the idea that Kam and Soraya are fugitives alive.

    I can't wait for the next chapter
  25. corellian_chic242 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 17, 2003
    star 6
    I like the way you jump from perspective to perspective, it keeps the feeling of movement and the idea that Kam and Soraya are fugitives alive.

    I'm glad. I thought it may seem kinda choppy....
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