Beyond The Path of Dreams --LotF AU--B/J, J/J/Z, Jacen,-SFFA 2007 Best Romance--COMPLETED: 01/10/08

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Flowerlady, Nov 1, 2006.

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  1. star_writer24 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 15, 2006
    star 4
    Good for you Jag! Jaina can get way to caught up in trying to do things on her own all the time. Great update! Sorry is took me so long to respond. [face_blush]
  2. JainaJag14 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 27, 2006
    star 2
    Hey Flowerlady, just letting you know that even though I don't have a lot of time to reply these days, I'm still reading, and I still love it!

    Thanks for keeping up with the PMs! [:D]

    JJ14
  3. Flowerlady Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2005
    star 4
    star_writer24
    Good for you Jag! Jaina can get way to caught up in trying to do things on her own all the time. Great update! Sorry is took me so long to respond. [face_blush]
    Thanks for reading!!!!


    JainaJag14
    Hey Flowerlady, just letting you know that even though I don't have a lot of time to reply these days, I'm still reading, and I still love it!

    Thanks for keeping up with the PMs! [:D]
    Hey...JJ14 How the heck are ya? Glad to see you still reading... And I'll keep sending PMs, not to worry...[:D]



    Hi Folks, hope you all had a great X-mass...Mine was good and busy...

    I hope to have the next chapter up tomorrow night. It is posing to be be a difficult one to write and I can't seem to get it to where I want it. [face_frustrated]



    FL @};-
  4. Flowerlady Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2005
    star 4
    Okay then, here is the next chapter. Wow, I've seemed to suffered through this for a long time. I must have changed it six times. [face_frustrated] I hope you all enjoy it and I hope that it seems plausible--that was the major problem, making this chapter seem possible. [face_worried]

    I've finally read the graphic novel Broken....WOW! I am so hooked on Legacy now. I can't wait until the next part comes out in February.




    ~Chapter 50~

    Dilapidated Old Industrial District, Rendilir, Tralus

    They were an odd mix, thought Jaina as she considered the men and women who were readying themselves for the battle ahead as they sat together in the common area of her yacht, Heart of the Goddess. She wished that she was in the pilot?s seat, but Jag was correct, she needed to concentrate on the mission.

    The three Jedi Masters, all having trained together as the first Jedi class, were quietly sitting together. Kam Solusar, the oldest, remembered the Old Jedi Order. He became the one-time Battle Master of her uncle?s Jedi. He had taught more Jedi than Luke Skywalker even had. She herself and the man they were going after had been taught by him. Beside him was Corran Horn, the newest Master of the three, his experience, however, was vast in the fields of police work and as fighter pilot. He, like her and Kam, had a personal stake in fighting the Sith who had taken over her brother. Next to him was Kyp Durron, who often butted heads with Corran, but they had put their personal differences aside to focus on what really mattered?the survival of the Jedi and the galaxy they had served for longer than she was alive.

    Then there was the middle generation, Valin Horn and Jessi Chivel, who were across from the Masters. Strangely, they weren?t dressed in Jedi robes. The two former Jedi Knights, who had become masters by default of a completely new order, were dressed in the black tight fitting body suits with red armor, similar to Stormtrooper armor, which protected their vulnerable body areas.

    Colonel Mic A?Loc was a man of around forty. He was dark skinned and a native of Bastion. He sat beside his Masters, but he wasn?t focused on them or the Jedi Masters across from him. He possessed that detachment that came with being a lifelong soldier more than from any Force-using skill. Formally a teacher at the Stormtrooper academy on Bastion, he tested positive for Force-sensitivity. He was an excellent shot, a former sharpshooter who single-handedly took out 20 Yuuzhan Vong during the attacks on Muunistant. He was a first-rate fencer and had taught hand-to-hand combat at the academy. Now he wore, not Stormtrooper white armor, but the black and red armor of an Imperial Knight. Up until a few months before, he only suspected his deeper connection to the Force due to his ability to see the immediate future. During his testing, he said that was what allowed him to do so well with sharp-shooting and fencing; he could always anticipate his opponent?s next move. He was never wrong; at least that was what he told them. She believed him. Instinct born of the Force rarely was.

    The man beside her, sitting at the bench by the small table, was a powerful man, he commanded ships and planets and could order the death of thousands just upon his whim, if he so demanded. He was Emperor Jagged Fel. However in this fight, his power meant nothing, and he knew that. He was the one at the disadvantage in this fight. He pulled a blaster from his holster and checked the blaster pack. Once convinced that it was fully charged he replaced the pack and re-holstered the sleek weapon. He pulled another smaller holdout blaster from his left boot. He meticulously preformed the same ritual with it. Although Jaina had watched him do all this with such precision, such efficiency too many times before to count, this time there was a raw edge to Jag?s emotions. It was one of the few times she ever seen him nervous.

    But then, as terrible as the Vong were, going ag/>
  5. G__Anakin Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2006
    star 4
    :eek:












    :eek:








    :eek:


    That was . . . the last thing I was expecting. Now, what the heck is Ben going to do[face_worried]


    Edit: Btw, Great job!:D
  6. PHGS_Weyr Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 11, 2006
    star 4
    Oh my stars amazing update Master! That was so incredibly good!

    But as G_Anakin said what about Ben, i really really thought that he would be the one to kill Jacen.

    I've also just read Broken, and am also addicted.... Doh! It really starts to colour your fanfic doesn't it...

    Great post! Looking forward to more!

    PHGS Weyr
  7. iamobiwan1970 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 23, 2005
    star 4
    =D= You got it!

    The epic battle was very well done. It would never be easy to fight a Sith Lord straight on and you showed that. You gave each Jedi a cance to shine. Especially Corran with his sucking in the storm's energy!

    I easily pictured the setting as they moved in and engagedthe 10 YVH droids, the illusion and Jag fighting Jessi. Then later the scene with Lon (thank the Force he new enough to do the right thing)!! Liked Lon's thoughts about fighting for the right side.

    Of course it is ironic and humorous that they made the arrest in the name of the Empire! Of course with Jag as Emperor, I can take it! :*

    The final battle made sense. Jaina using the explosive and DArth Troddlen loosing his patience due to his hate.

    Of course now we must figure out what will happen with poor Ben.

    Oh so glad Valin lived:

    Valin looked down at the stump where his right arm had been. It was severed just below the shoulder. The last thing he remembered, as unconsciousness claimed him, was wondering how he would now hold his baby.

    I thought that was a nice touch. Very tender.

    Excellent post Flowerlady!!!! =D=

  8. SWpants Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2004
    star 4
    She growled and shouted back, ?Don?t you remember, Jacen? There is no try, do or do not. And I always do what I set out to do.?

    Yeah! That's right! Get 'im, Jaina


    . Staring into his eyes, she smiled, ?Jagged, I will return to you, if that is what the Force wants. I love you.?

    ?I know. I love you. Come back to me.?


    Yes, don't kill her. Who cares what the Force wants :p


    You are a pretender and nothing more.

    Nah. Jag >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Palpy



    Valin looked down at the stump where his right arm had been. It was severed just below the shoulder. The last thing he remembered, as unconsciousness claimed him, was wondering how he would now hold his baby.

    Aw, that's cute.
    Thank you for not killing Valin!


    Lon raised his arms and said in a clear voice, ?I surrender. I will not serve a Sith Lord.?

    [:D] good for you, Lon


    But then he remembered his Apprentice, and in his mind, he smiled. Darth Krayt will carry on. He will make them pay. All of them. The Alliance traitors, the Imperial pretenders, the festering Jedi. I have seen it. Someday Lord Krayt will rule the galaxy. Someday he will rebuild what I?ve begun.

    *groans* nooooooooo
    At least Jacen is dead though.
  9. padawanlost Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 16, 2006
    star 4
    Wow, I can see how that chapter might have taken some time, but it was well worth it. Great job!

    I have to hand it to Jaina for truly being the trickster in the end. Being a Sith has made Jacen's worst qualities all the more obvious, and she took full advantage.

    Poor Valin. Great details in his fight. And he shouldn't worry. Luke could hold Ben just fine- but maybe he should have done it some more! Nice to see Lon do the right thing. I hope the GAG comes around in profic too.

    I have to say, I was expecting Jacen to go down, and I'm glad that it was Jaina who got to do it. As heartbreaking as it was for her, what would she have felt had she not been their at the end. I can't imagine what she's going to tell her parents. I really can't wait to see how you handle that.


    Fabulous as always. It really picked my night up. Now I just don't know what we're all going to do without Jacen around to get mad at. I have a much more difficult time getting mad at Ben. Of course now he is the master, so I'm sure he'll be up to no good.


    [:D]
  10. Flowerlady Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2005
    star 4
    G__Anakin
    :eek:

    :eek:

    :eek:
    :D

    That was . . . the last thing I was expecting. Now, what the heck is Ben going to do[face_worried]
    I'm actually surprised that you didn't see it coming. As for Ben, we will see what he will do next chapter.

    Edit: Btw, Great job!:D
    Thanks...[:D]


    PHGS_Weyr
    Oh my stars amazing update Master! That was so incredibly good!
    Thanks...I must have rewritten it a half dozen times. I'm glad that it turned out as well as it did.
    But as G_Anakin said what about Ben, i really really thought that he would be the one to kill Jacen.
    Nope, Ben right now has his own agenda. Which you will get to see next chapter...[face_mischief]
    I've also just read Broken, and am also addicted.... Doh! It really starts to colour your fanfic doesn't it...
    I really do like Legacy... I love the Fels and Cade...actually if it had been a novel, I'd have read it a long time ago. But it was the comic book part that I needed to get over. I know silly. But I had never read one. But for me, Legacy spoilers have been coloring my fan fiction from the beginning. In fact, it was the thought of Force-sensitive Fels and Roan looking like how I picture an older Jag and Marasiah looking like a cross between Padmé, Leia and Jaina that changed my shipping of Jaina. :p
    Great post! Looking forward to more!
    Hopefully by Friday...[:D]



    iamobiwan1970
    =D= You got it!
    Thanks...
    The epic battle was very well done. It would never be easy to fight a Sith Lord straight on and you showed that. You gave each Jedi a cance to shine. Especially Corran with his sucking in the storm's energy!
    Thanks... It was extremely hard to write, especially after I changed my original idea and threw in the other Jedi. I wanted to show them each have some part in the battle. Kam I short changed, but I had already showed him with Lumiya. Besides, I didn't kill him as I did in my first draft of this battle, so that should be okay. And by now you should know that I love that trick of the Horns. I recently--well over the summer--reread I, Jedi(I love that book) anyway I figured, if as a barely trained apprentice he could absorb a bomb, he could do so much more as a Jedi Master. I really don't like that Profic has reduced Corran as just an nemesis for Kyp to argue with.

    I easily pictured the setting as they moved in and engagedthe 10 YVH droids, the illusion and Jag fighting Jessi. Then later the scene with Lon (thank the Force he new enough to do the right thing)!! Liked Lon's thoughts about fighting for the right side.
    I like my characterization of Lon...actually I like the Profic version of him too... And I built upon the fact that the Lon in the books doesn't always like what Jacen is doing. I could really see canon Lon doing this.
    As for the illusion, I really wondered how that would fly...I don't want to show Jessi as weak or not powerful, but Jacen is a master of the dark side and we all know that Palpatine also used them against the Jedi including Yoda...so why not Jessi or any of them.
    I'm glad that you liked the fight, again action is not my strongest point as a writer (why then does it seem that I write so many action scenes...lol :p)


    Of course it is ironic and humorous that they made the arrest in the name of the Empire! Of course with Jag as Emperor, I can take it! :*
    That was fun to write. I could easily see Corran stumbling over that too.

    The final battle made sense. Jaina using the explosive and DArth Troddlen loosing his patience due to his hate.
    Oh thank you....I hoped that it would but not seem like a total rip off of Fury even if I have to thank Allston for that bit...I must have tried
  11. SWpants Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2004
    star 4
    I don't know if you got me or not, but I was saying that Jag is not a pretender and is much greater than Palpy.
    Unless you were agreeing with me.

    I'm a math major, sometimes I write things out that others don't understand :p

    Good luck with finishing the next chap, hope to see it up soon!
  12. Flowerlady Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2005
    star 4
    I thought that was what you meant... I was agreeing with you...

    Oh and it's not just math majors...I work for the government...we have it down to a science...:p



    FL @};-
  13. SWpants Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2004
    star 4
    Huzzah for being on the same page :D
    Confusing people can be fun ;)
  14. SITH_MAYO Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 2005
    star 4
    The moment I've been waiting so eagerly for!!! :D :p *jumps for joy* Yes! [face_dancing]

    Jace is finally dead... it was a brilliant show-down!!!

    Loved it! :) Thanks FL..
  15. Flowerlady Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2005
    star 4
    Thanks so much for reading....I'm glad that you enjoyed the showdown...

    [:D]


    I will post the last chapter tonight....


    FL @};-
  16. Flowerlady Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 14, 2005
    star 4
    I first want to say that I changed my mind on how I was going to end this. I originally planned an epilogue to be posted after this chapter. However, as I will explain after the chapter, I changed my mind. And you will see what I have planned instead.

    Second, I want to apologize for the length of this chapter. It is 26 pages long. I considered splitting it up, but didn't know where. I figured that you could decide how you wanted to read it--either in one sitting or split it up yourselves.

    Thirdly, get the tissues....




    ~Chapter 51~

    Control Room, Centerpoint Station

    ?What do you mean: Docking Bay 175 has been breached?? He turned away from the small child sitting at the oversized controls to face the man who was nearly twice his age. ?I thought I had ordered it opened to vacuum.?

    Krayt watched the sergeant swallow and wish that he could run. ?It was, Sir. A lone TIE has entered the hangar.?

    ?And the pilot??

    Again that look of fear. Ben Skywalker had served for four years with this man. In fact, after Ben?s pending fatherhood had been formally announced, Sergeant Kornell Misks had taken him out for a drink. Saying that if Ben was old enough to be married and to be a father, he was old enough to have a drink, and Kornell wanted to be the first to buy him one. Of course, he wasn?t the only one who wanted that privilege, and Ben had been eternally glad that he was a Jedi who knew how to render toxins and such harmless, or he?d had gone home to his new wife extremely intoxicated. That was the kind of relationship Ben Skywalker had with those under his command; however, that wasn?t the kind of relationship Darth Krayt had or wanted with his troopers.

    ?The pilot has escaped?Captain.?

    ?Keep me informed, Sergeant Misks. Dismissed.? Not Kornell, he was beyond the informal with his troopers. And they knew it. After killing Ron Starson, he had been forced to discipline another trooper who had let the Kaminoan and Muun who had ran with the clone escape. Krayt simply nodded and turned away.

    After that incident in which he was forced to publicly kill another one of his former friends, Krayt ordered all the docking bays and hangars opened to hard vacuum to prevent the fugitives from trying to escape that way. Now the station was being attacked by those same hangars. Most TIE fighters didn?t have built-in life-support, which meant the pilot had to wear full flightsuit with the helmet vacuum tight. An airless hangar only meant that she would have to wear it longer.

    So, this is how it?s supposed to be? He closed his eyes and fought the tiny bit of him that was still Ben Skywalker. He reached out into the Force and instantly found her. She was shielding tightly, but she couldn?t disappear from the Force has he and his Master could.

    She was foolish if she thought she alone could prevent him from doing what he must. Why did she have to be here? He let the anger of her intrusion burn within. Didn?t she realize that he was doing this for her? He had become a Sith to bring peace?for her. But she and the traitors that she allied with only wanted to stop that from happening.

    He let the anger fuel the Dark Side in him and immediately knew he had to keep her away as long as possible. He expected his Master to give him the order any moment to attack. Krayt had informed Troddeln that the clone was ready immediately before he was meeting with Jagged Fel and Jaina Solo. Troddeln planned to celebrate his defeat of his sister and her husband by destroying their fleet and then Corellia. Krayt only had to wait as patiently as possible for the order to have the clone fire the weapon.

    Well, if anything Jysella?s movement through the station should provide some distraction. He instantly began to formulate a plan. He would keep her busy dodging his troopers until after the order to fire was given. Then he would allow her to make her way t/>/>
  17. MyriAntilles Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Aug 1, 2007
    Would it be presumptuous of me to call for a standing ovation?

    =D= =D= =D= =D= =D==D==D==D==D= =D==D==D=

    Though I've retreated to lurkdom for the past 8 months on TF.N, I've been following your story since the beginning, Sara. It's been truly amazing to watch your imagination at work.

    Thank you for spinning this wonderful tale for us all to enjoy. I'm sure we're all looking forward to those vignettes you mentioned.


    Again, congratulations!

    - Myri

  18. SWpants Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2004
    star 4
    Ugh. Ben's gotta know that Jys won't join him. He's gotta turn back. He has to!


    For reasons she would only come to understand later, feeling her eldest son?s death hurt far more than she had ever expected that it would, when one considered all that he had done and what he had become. His death hurt her as much as Anakin?s had or Luke?s, despite knowing that it had been by her own son?s hand. Leia welcomed Han?s understanding arms and buried her face into his chest and cried.

    :( I feel so bad for them. First they lose him to the Dark Side, now they lose him for good. He died without any chance of redemption. I'm glad he's gone but I do feel terrible for the Solos.


    They were tears of fear, tears of sorrow, and tears of what could have been. She had wished that her father would have loved her enough to choose her over power. She may have even forgiven him for killing her mamma.

    :_| The poor girl! I guess there's hope that Allana won't ever succumb to the Dark Side but I feel so freaking bad for her.


    Can you live without Jysella?

    He was actually quite surprised at how easy the answer came to him.


    Hi, I hate him.
    Not sure if you knew that :)


    Thank the Force Jys killed the clone. The clone didn't deserve that pain & it was too dangerous for the galaxy besides.


    She was shielding him, but they had always known each other well enough to know what the other was feeling. She was grieving. She had wanted Jacen to come back. There was no way he was going to let her see yet another loved one destroy himself.

    I love to see how well the two know each other, how mature Kyp is about the situation.


    After he got his burst of anger under control from when she had killed the clone, he realized that he really didn?t want to kill her. After all, if she refused to be his apprentice, there still was his son.

    :( He truly is Sith


    She experienced no joy in seeing his surprise and pain flash in his ugly orange eyes, as her blade cut through the bone of his left hip and the flesh of his flank, because she also felt the same searing pain as the blue blade, which she so often equated with the color of his eyes, drove through her chest below her right breast.

    She gasped at the shock, but she quickly let the Force guide her. She began to absorb the energy from the blade. She felt her heart flutter and she sensed the stress the incredible energy was putting on her cells. She couldn?t store much more, or she would explode.


    :( Oh no, oh no, oh no. At this point, I don't care much about Ben, but poor Jys! And I hope her son makes it okay :( I love the idea she had, using the energy to create a whirlwind in the Force, Ben totally deserves it.
    And no, the Skywalker line will never be the same again. That saddens me.


    ?Lord Krayt,? she said in her flawless Basic. ?I had a dream that you would need me.?

    He smiled and let her guide him to a biotic chair. She was probing his wound when he said, pushing her hands away, ?No time. I will go into a trance. Get me to Korriban, Apprentice.? At her quizzical look, he added, ?You will be the first of many.?


    :mad::mad: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!


    ?No?listen to me?I want you to raise Zane. But don?t forget?that he is a Skywalker. He can?t forget??

    :_|:_|


    He would go into hiding. Isn?t that what the Sith did when the Jedi got the best of them?

    heh, yeah. scaredy-cats


    That was....wow. I want to say a great ending, but it wasn't (the writing was great, the content made me depressed). A very powerful ending. It worked well with the rest of the fic.


    PM me when you put up the companion piece :)
  19. Briee-Targaryen Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 14, 2006
    star 1
    Congrats on finishing your story, Flowerlady! =D=
  20. Ob-Da_factor Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Apr 8, 2006
    Wonderful ending; Epic destruction of Centerpoint. The echoes of ROTS were very beautiful .

    I hate to ruin your education/perceptions, but Romeo and Juliet is a comedy not a romance or tragedy. So pick a different play to compare it to, maybe Hamlet because of all the politics involved.

    ~FBS
  21. reagan64 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 26, 2006
    star 3
    A good ending to a great story. Over the past several months I've watched this story combine politics, war, and love with sublime elegance and precision, and It is now a bitter-sweet experience to see it end. What a fine piece of work.
  22. iamobiwan1970 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 23, 2005
    star 4
    Congratulations on 260,000 words! =D= =D= =D= That is so incredible. This story has been a pleasure to read. It turned out to be quite an epic! Didn?t it begin as a NaWriMO? I really enjoyed the story arc and the tragedy! I?m a sucker for tragedy.

    I think what really made it epic is that the characters changed so muc h over the course of the story. How they began is so different than how they ended up!

    Here are a few sections and my thoughts on them:


    He loved Alex and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, but he would always hold Jaina dear. She had been his first real love; she had taught him what love was, and she taught him how to let it go. She had been his goddess, but she now belonged to another, as did he.

    You captured perfectly how Kyp will always love Jaina, but will move on! [:D]

    On to the Ben vs. Jysella fight:

    They say activity is good for contractions, but fighting to the death with a Sith ? Umm, I doubt doctors would recommend that!

    She began to absorb the energy from the blade.

    Yeh, that?s a lot of power: a whole lightsabers worth! And then what she did with it! Wow. I'm so glad she killed that little clone. I picture it being mutated somehow, not looking like the real Anakin at all.

    He would follow the Master?s example and go into hiding?let the Jedi think him dead, the Sith extinct?but there had to be more than just him and an Apprentice. He had always considered that incorrect. There had to be an Order of Sith to take on an Order of Jedi, not two Sith against hundreds of Jedi.

    I like the tie in to Legacy, knowing of course that your Krayt is Darth Krayt.

    ?You will be the first of many.?

    Sad, but cool!

    We have to get her to a medical facility that has a surgery. She is too dry to have the child now.?

    FL!!! She?s too weak to have the child! She needs a surgical birth immediately to take the stress off her own injuries!!!!:eek: Somehow, I knew this wasn't going to go well.

    His grandfather had done something similar and it had killed him instantly.

    That?s an interesting fact!

    Oh, my beautiful baby! My Zane. My gift from the Force.

    Just then he opened his incredibly blue eyes and looked at her. She smiled and forced herself to murmur aloud, ?I?love?you?? :_| :_|

    They were the last words Jysella Horn Skywalker would ever utter.
    :_|

    Good God! That was sad!!! But at least she saved Corellia, destroyed Centerpoint, and injured Krayt! Awesome Jedi chickie![face_dancing]


    Wow! It ended well. You tied it up with a good resolution section. Also the dramatic tension at the end with Jacen?s death and the attack by Jysella was the perfect climax.

    Bravo!!!! =D= What a great journey this has been.:D



  23. G__Anakin Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 2, 2006
    star 4
    Great job! It was exellent! Is Ben going to come around in a sequel or his he just going to come back in the Legacy in you story line?


    =D= Great job! It was great reading all of this!
  24. Trickster-Lead Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 23, 2007
    star 1
    Thank you so much!!!!
    This was a jot to read... and ironically enough you completed it on my birthday!!!
    Thanks for the gift!
  25. PHGS_Weyr Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 11, 2006
    star 4
    I'll be back to comment properly soon Master but just et me say for now that this was increible!

    PHGS Weyr
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