Saga The Phantom Menace Humerous Version redo (Add-on) (Spoilers)In preparation for Star Wars Episode VII

You know, wouldn't it be something if Speak returned?

 

Woo-hoo! Page 2!

I am starting a new Humorous Version planning thread in Fan Fiction Writing and Resource. I hope to see many there who are interested in sharing ideas about this project.
Edit: it's up:
http://boards.theforce.net/threads/the-new-humorous-version-planning-thread.50035610/

 

http://boards.theforce.net/threads/heir-to-the-empire-humorous-version.1707071/

Found this while digging through old fanfics looking for ROTJ HV on Classics board.

http://boards.theforce.net/threads/balance-point-humorous-version-spoilers-included.1327946/

And this.

 

http://boards.theforce.net/threads/a-new-hope-humorous-version.177852/

Finally found the long lost ANH HV! And ROTJ Humorous Version:

http://boards.theforce.net/threads/rotj-humorous-version.1854753/

 

Here we go with another scene, since no one else is posting. (Lazy K this story could use your help, or Jandor Tarvin if you see this, or fistofthedarklord, I know you are still here....)


INT. TIMBREL COCKPIT-UNDERWATER

Sparks are flying, and water is leaking into the cabin, and the whole sub is going generally haywire. Then the sound of the power drive drops.

OB-EWAN: We're losing power.

Unintelligible screaming from JAB-JAB.

LI-GON places his hand on JAB-JAB's shoulder.

LI-GON: Relax.

JAB-JAB is knocked part of the way out.

OB-EWAN: I don't think you overdid it, Master.

OB-EWAN places his hand on JAB-JAB's shoulder and knocks him completely out.
With JAB-JAB out of commission and silent OB-EWAN is able to concentrate enough to fix the power.
Just when the power comes back on the sub's lights illuminate yet another big monster, the COLOR-ME CRAWFISH.

The sub escapes and the CRAWFISH pursues, but is eaten by the SANDY LEVIATHAN.

LI-GON: Ok, I'll say it now, I just can't hold it in any longer! There's always a bigger fish.

OB-EWAN: What, bigger than that Leviathan?

LI-GON: Well...maybe not.

JAB-JAB regains consciousness.

JAB-JAB: Wesa dead yet?

OB-EWAN: I wish.

Whack

LI-GON: Head for that outcropping.



EXT. TWEED-MAIN ROAD INTO TWEED -DAY

The long columns of the DROID ARMY move down the main road leading to Tweed, the NuhBOO capital.

EXT. TWEED PLAZA -DAY

As the QUEEN watches helplessly from a window in the palace, a transport carrying NEWT and RUIN lands in TWEED PLAZA. They exit the transport.

NEWT: Ah, Wictory!

Suddenly a bird swoops down and defecates on his head.

NEWT: Aw, crud!

RUIN points at him and laughs.

RUIN: Hahaha! A bird pooped on the Viceroy's head!

Just then a NuhBOO RESISTANCE FIGHTER takes a potshot at RUIN and shoots his big hat clean off.

RUIN: Aaagh! Get down! (He ducks.)

A BATTLE DROID quickly dispatches the RESISTANCE FIGHTER.

NEWT: Hahaha! Now your hat is ruined too. And you panicked while I just stood here! You're such a coward!

RUIN: Yeah, that may be so, but......A BIRD POOPED ON YOUR HEAD! HAHAHAHA!

Whack



EXT. THEED – ESTUARY- DAY

Paradise. Billowing clouds frame a romantic body of water. PULL BACK to reveal that this is just a mural and the SUB bobs up to the surface of an industrial waste pond.

JAB-JAB: This smells stinkowiff!

 

As I said in the planning thread I am giving up the Humorous Versions for good. You guys can write them. I won't even be back to check on them.

 

EXT.NUHBOO-TWEED-CASERTA PALACE-DAY

The waterfalls of Tweed sparkle in the noonday sun.

INT.NUHBOO-CASERTA PALACE-THRONE ROOM-DAY

QUEEN AMIDALLA SOME BABBLER, and FIVE OF HER HANDMAIDENS, SLEEPY, PATME (AHA!), DOPEY, SNEEZY AND DOC, are surrounded by TWENTY TINKER DRONES. CAPTAIN SHATNER and FOUR NUHBOO GUARDS are also held at gunpoint. NEWT and RUIN stand in the middle of the room.

BABBLER:...how will you explain this invasion of yours to the Senate?

NEWT:The NuhBOO and I will forge a treaty that will legitimize our occupation here. I'm assured it will be ratified in the Senate.

AMIDALLA: I will not co-operate.

NEWT: Now, now, your highness..why do you think I said FORGE a treaty? Commander.

OOM-PAH:Yes, Sir!

NEWT: (Attempting to sound sinister): Process them.

OOM-PAH: (Turns to his Sergeant) Take them to Camp 4.

TINKER DRONE: Roger roger, roger.

The SERGEANT marches the GROUP out of the throne room.

EXT. NUHBOO-TWEED- CASERTA PALACE-DAY

As AMIDALA, PATME and the other FOUR HANDMAIDENS, SHATNER, and SOME BABBLER are led away, LI-GON, OB-EWAN and JAB-JAB see them from a WALKWAY above the PLAZA.

LI-GON and OB-EWAN leap down and open a can of whoopa** on the TINKER DRONES.

JAB-JAB: Mesa just hangs from the side and be of no help to yousa.

OB-EWAN impresses the ladies with his excessively flashy fighting moves. After the DRONES are dispatched, OB-EWAN lights a cigarette and asks Governor Babbler if he has any smack.

JAB-JAB: Yousa Jedi Bombad!

LI-GON: We should leave the streets, your highness.

They move between two buildings.

LI-GON: Your Highness, we are the Ambassadors, for the Supreme Cameo.

BABBLER (nastily): Your negotiations seem to have failed, Ambassador.

LI-GON: Their response, it didn't thrill us. They locked the doors and tried to kill us. Your Highness, we must make contact with the Republic.

SHATNER: (Steps forward) They've knocked out........all our......communications.

LI-GON: Where do you keep your transports?

SHATNER: In the main.....hangar.....where.....do you keep your transports?

They disappear down an alleyway as the ALARMS are sounded.