Resource The Plot Bunny Thread: Managed by Jade_Max.

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction and Writing Resource' started by shanobi, Aug 26, 2002.

Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. Mad_Vornskr Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 5, 2003
    This may have been done before, but I haven't read through this huge thread, so bear with me. My idea for a Jacen redemption story (I would have preferred he not go Sith at all, but I digress), with a tie in to the first Legacy comic series (I haven't read the second series yet). I apologize in advance if I get a bit long winded. Anyway, here it is..

    Instead of killing Jacen, Jaina somehow captures him. He's sent back to the GA to face charges and is sentenced to death, but Luke intercedes and instead he is exiled to some uninhabited planet to live out the rest of his days. Flash forward about 15 years. Allana is apprenticed to Jaina. Now this part would probably require some fudging of dates, because Allana would have to have been too young to remember what happened during LOTF. To protect her, her family makes up some story about how her father was killed during the war, but she doesn't know that Jacen is really her father. Meanwhile, Darth Krayt has gathered his forces and is preparing to invade the galaxy. Jaina and Allana are sent to some obscure world to investigate rumors of some ominous force gathering. They are attacked by the One Sith. Jaina escapes, but Allana is taken prisoner. Krayt, recognizing whose blood she has in her veins, decide to try to turn her to the Sith. Jaina returns to Coruscant and tells the GA about the existence of Krayt and the One Sith. She asks permission to rescue her apprentice, but is denied by the Jedi Council because they're more worried about the threat the One Sith pose.So she decides to go rogue (so unlike a Solo) and try to rescue Allana herself. But she knows she'll need help against the Sith, and decides what better help than a former Sith himself. Before she goes to find Jacen, she enlists the help of her parents. Han, Leia, and Jaina all leave on the Falcon (it's not really Star Wars without the Falcon). They go to the planet Jacen is exiled on, and find him a complete mess. He's spent the last 15 years beating himself up over what he's done. He hates himself, and in fact asks several times for them to kill him (very dark, I know). They tell him what's going on, give him emotional speeches about how he needs to get his act together, put the past in the past, and save his daughter. Eventually they get through to him and he agrees. As they're tracking down and planning a way to rescue Allana, Jacen is constantly battling his inner demons. Meanwhile Allana is battling a demon of her own in Krayt. Krayt uses his knowledge of her true father against her, telling her how he was a murderer and a Sith, and slowly she starts to slip towards the dark side as the anger builds up in her. Han, Leia, Jacen, and Jaina have found where Krayt and the One Sith are keeping Allana. Han and Leia use the Falcon as a diversion (along with some last second help from Luke, Ben, and the rest of the Jedi Order, who changed their minds) while Jacen and Jaina slip in to rescue Allana. Eventually they end up in some kind of throne room with Krayt and Allana, who is in the Embrace of Pain. The showdown starts, pitting Jacen and Jaina against Krayt. Eventually Jacen tells Jaina to free Allana and get out while he battles Krayt alone. Just as Jaina is getting her free, Jacen is struck down by a terrible blow. Seeing the man she now knows is her father struck down, Allana finds the strength to attack Krayt with Jaina. Eventually they defeat Krayt. Han and Leia, along with Luke and Ben, find their way to the throne room, to find Jacen, dying in his daughter's arms. He looks at Luke and Ben, and says he failed as a Jedi. He looks at his sister, and says he failed as a brother. He looks at his parents, and says he failed as a son. Finally he looks at Allana, and says he failed as a father. Then he tells them all that he loves them, closes his eyes, and fades away.
    jcgoble3 likes this.
  2. The Compeer Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 12, 2013
    star 2
    I've had ideas for a story rattling around in my head for a long now, so bear with me on this one. The fic would basically start near the end of Conviction in FOTJ, with the first big change being a removal of the time jump between that story and Ascension. Then, with Abeloth's trail having run cold, Luke and the Jedi avoid going on their wild goose chase, and instead correctly surmise that she's on Kesh. Between Vestara and the Lost Tribe's pirate raiding, they figure they've got two potential leads on the planet's location. Events start to diverge from there, and I have a few plotlines in mind.

    1. The Jedi coup had serious political consequences, and undoes all of the PR points the Jedi had slowly been gaining back over the previous few books. Treen and her co-conspirators start putting pressure on them to end the emergency and hold a new election for COS, which they expect to win so that they can rule unchecked. They also hire bounty hunters to track down Tahiri to enlist her aid in tracking down Daala for them.

    2. Abeloth slowly starts taking over Kesh. She uses rhetoric and the Force to start convincing the Lost Tribe that they're better than the Galaxy around them, and that the non-Force-using masses don't deserve their leadership. Sith start listening to her message, and begin moving back to Kesh. This rankles Lord Vol, who thinks it contradicts the idea that Sith are meant to rule the Galaxy, and he fears his authority is slipping away as people start listening to Abeloth instead of him. Things come to a head when Vol finally tries to abrogate his alliance with Abeloth, who attacks him. There's a big fight that ends with Vol dead and Abeloth wounded. Still, without competition she takes over the Lost Tribe completely and calls all the Lost Sith back to Kesh, foiling the Jedi's attempts to track down their raiders.

    3. In the meantime, Ben and Vestara are back at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. The Jedi don't expect conventional interrogation to be effective on her, so they hope Ben can more gently persuade her to reveal where the planet is. He tries to make the case that if Abeloth goes unchecked on Kesh, she'll do worse by them than the Jedi ever would. She's unconvinced because she doesn't expect the Jedi to be merciful to their people. Ben tries to prove her wrong, and in the process starts teaching her some Jedi philosophy and lore. Hope for some real development of their relationship here. The whole thing comes to a head when Vol dies, and Vestara senses his death. That's enough to convince her that Ben's right about Abeloth, so she tells the Jedi where to find Kesh. Luke and the Council cut a deal with Treen; they'll allow elections in exchange for the GA military's help in an attack on Kesh.Their objective is Abeloth and the destruction of the Lost Tribe's fleet; nothing else.

    4. Climactic battle on Kesh, first in space followed by a ground assault. Abeloth's true plan and nature are revealed: she's actually a member of the same...class of being that Waru was, and a deep sense of wanderlust is endemic to all of them. They can use the Force to hop between dimensions, constantly searching for a home that may or may not exist. Abeloth lacks the strength to do this right now though, hence her reaching out to other Force sensitives. She hopes to feed on them to power her exit from our dimension, and that's what she's doing to the Lost Tribe on Kesh even as the battle is underway. The kicker here is that even if her plan works, the release of energy will be so extreme as to destroy the entire planet. So in the end, it's a race against time as the Jedi move to defeat Abeloth, even if it means saving their sworn enemies.

    That's basically the Cliff Notes version of what I have in mind. I've got several character arcs planned out already, but I could do with some suggestions for the Solos, Seha Dorvald, Wynn Dorvan, and a few others. At any rate, I'm a terrible procrastinator, so I'm hoping that getting some of these ideas out here will help motivate me to put the whole thing to paper in time. Does this seem like a start in (doing my level best to) redeeming FOTJ? I didn't spell this out, but I've got an eye towards smarter character decisions and better handling of moral consequences, so I'll try and redress other outrages from the series that weren't mentioned above.
  3. ThreadSketch Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 22, 2013
    star 2
    Hoo boy. Should I poke this sleeping bear? *pokes thread tentatively with a long stick*

    I don't think I have the retinal stamina to get through all 88 pages, so I apologize for any unintentional redundancy. I feel kind of awkward posting in here considering how...quiet it is now, but where else can a bunny be deposited? [face_dunno]

    Anyway. This is one idea I'd like to see tackled seriously, and not only do I doubt I'll ever have the time to do it myself, I'm not honestly not sure where to go beyond where the idea runs out of steam. Someone far more creatively inclined could continue it (or even change the outline I propose here, if they feel that this wouldn't be playing true to the characters). Now, pardon me for the apparent silliness that causes all this to come about, but if you're willing to suspend your disbelief just enough at the beginning...


    The crash on Dagobah manages to damage either the engines or the hyperdrive of Luke's X-Wing to sufficiently prevent him from leaving to aid his friends at Cloud City. (A knowledgeable fan could more accurately know what mechanical part would be more likely to sustain damage from his landing than I would.) The damage can either be immediately apparent to him after arrival so that he's already well aware of it, or he may not discover it until he tries to take off. Once Luke experiences the vision of his friends' torture, he panics when he realizes he can't go to them and is furious when all his frantic efforts at repairs are unsuccessful; desperately wanting to help Han, Leia & Co. and stymied by his situation, he at one point accuses his Master of trapping him on Dagobah deliberately, even though Yoda has done no such thing (and he's also genuinely worried about being stuck there for good). Eventually he calms down by necessity and is sadly resigned to continuing his Jedi training since he has no other choice. The fate of his friends haunts him constantly. Much later on in the story, in a tip of the hat to another fic, Please Pass the Salt, when Yoda feels that Luke's training is complete, they seek out and locate the pod that Yoda used to travel to Dagobah, and upon finding that it's still in salvageable condition, either manage to scrounge enough parts to fix Luke's X-Wing, or get the pod itself to work and finally provide Luke the means to leave. (Yoda does not look for this craft earlier because he genuinely believed that two decades of exposure on this extremely humid jungle planet would have deteriorated it too much, but...hey, whaddya know.) As you can see, this entire plotline requires a lot of handwaving to justify it. [face_whistling]

    Because Vader is "stood up" on Bespin, he isn't occupied by the duel with his son - giving him the extra free time to catch up to the fact that Lando has reneged on his deal and is trying to get Leia, Chewie and C-3PO away. As much as I don't relish wasting characters, especially one as great as Lando, I also want this twist on events to have serious consequences, so Vader manages to intercept them and kills Lando for double-crossing him. Leia, Chewie and C-3PO are taken into Vader's custody, and Leia is separated from them aboard the Executor. (Han is still iced and in Boba Fett's possession.) This is where my idea hits the wall, and you'd have to take full reins. Obviously this story is meant to be fairly dark, but the final outcome does not have to end on a totally bleak note. Either a happy or unhappy ending can be done; the most important thing is the quality of the plot and the writing. It's also probably going to wind up being fairly long. Have at it, and let me know if you do!
    Last edited by ThreadSketch, Jul 22, 2014
    Nyota's Heart and jcgoble3 like this.
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade