The Poetry Corner - Mark 2

Discussion in 'Scotland' started by PadawanSDM, Feb 21, 2003.

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  1. PadawanSDM Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2000
    star 4
    I can't believe that other poetry corner has disappeared, it was in this board wasn't it?

    Onyhoo - lets start again...

    Tae a Fert

    Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie
    lurks in yer belly efter the feastie
    just as ye sit doon among yer kin
    there sterts to stir an enormous wind

    The neeps and tatties and mushy peas
    stert workin like a gentle breeze
    but soon the puddin wi the sauncie face
    will have ye blawin all ower the place

    Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
    a'bodys gonnae hae tae pay
    even if ye try to stifle
    it's like a bullet oot a rifle

    Hawd yer bum tight tae the chair
    tae try and stop the leakin air
    shify yersel fae cheek tae cheek
    prae tae God it doesnae reek

    But aw yer efforts go assunder
    oot it comes like a clap a thunder
    ricochets aroon the room
    michty me a sonic boom

    Good God almighty it fairly reeks
    hope I huvnae **** ma breeks
    tae the bog I better scurry
    aw whit the hell, it's no ma worry

    A'body roon aboot me chokin
    wan or two are clearly bokin
    I'll feel better for a while
    ah cannae help but raise a smile

    Wis him ! I shout with accusin glower
    alas too late, he's just keeled ower
    ye dirty bugger they shout and stare
    a dinnae feel welcome any mair

    Where e're ye go let yer wind gan' free
    sounds like just the job fur me
    whit a fuss at rabbie's perty
    ower the sake o' wan wee ferty
  2. MOTs_Minx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 26, 2000
    star 6
    Ode to a toilet

    Oh toilet
    How white you are
    How cold you are
    The cold feels good against my skin
    When I am hugging you
    And talking into the big white telephone



    I wrote that in one of the bogs in what used to be The Liquor Shack along with CaSS luvs Jules - not realising that Jules would find out and put two and two together and realise it was me who wrote it...

    //slaps forehead


  3. AngelaJade Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 14, 2003
    star 1
    :D

    Not sure who wrote this one...


    TAE A PUDDEN

    Fair fa your paper wrapped delights
    As oot the boozer every night
    We stagger singin' fu' as kites, wi' progress slippy
    Tae purchase pokes o' puddens white
    Intae the chippy

    Its tae the coonter then we sally, bevvied up and feelin' pally
    And then unto the local tally we slur and stutter
    Wi' elbies on the coonter wally
    Three pudden suppers

    He wheechs the puddens oot the grease, coups in the chips and boiled peas
    Wi' wonder shinin' in our eens, and spirits singin
    And nippy sauce oor taste tae please
    And pickled ingins

    It's then we all undo the wrappers, a sudden hush upon oor patter
    The aroma maks oor mooths a' watter and of a sudden it's there
    A' clad in golden batter
    A mealie pudden

    Wi'burnin' haunds and lips a' chappit
    It's tae the cauld in coats we're happit
    We wallop in until we're stappit, and shout wi' glee
    For mine was Daily Record wrappit and I got page three

    Nae English whelks nor pints o' Bass, Nor Indian curries frae Madras
    Nor Chinese cookin' I can pass wi' features wooden
    But if you want to please yer lass
    Gie her a Pudden

    :)
  4. PadawanSDM Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 27, 2000
    star 4
    Excellent stuff [face_laugh]

    And welcome to the Forums Angie
    I travel to Aberdeen a fair bit myself (for my significant sins [face_devil] )
  5. AngelaJade Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 14, 2003
    star 1
    Thanks for the welcome. :) I have one mad-keen-on-SW friend in Aberdeen, and we do like to meet up with other nutters... *ahem*... fans on occasion.


    Oh, a quick pome...

    There was a young farmboy called Luke
    His dull, boring life he forsook
    Joined up with the Rebels
    Blew Death Star to pebbles
    (Though some said the shot was a fluke).


    Didn't say it was a very good pome... ;)
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