Beyond - Legends The Portal - Qui-Gon Thread Challenge Response

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by VaderLVR64, Sep 16, 2006.

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  1. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Title: The Portal
    Author: VaderLVR64
    Characters: Qui-Gon Jinn, OCs, Anakin
    Summary: It was a dark and stormy night in the cantina?
    You chose:
    Ghostie Qui
    Your challenge is to write a Tragic story featuring a barmaid/Cantina keeper and
    Medicated Jedi Masters.
    I did not quite meet the guidelines as I had no idea how to medicate a dead Jedi Master. :p But this is what the plot bunny fairy brought me, so?

    The Portal

    Qui-Gon sat silently in the little cantina, caught up in watching the graceful moves of the young woman behind the bar. Her transparent form moved in tandem with her living companion, though the gruff old man had no idea that he was not serving drinks alone. The Portal had two distinct groups of customers, and only one group was aware of that fact.

    He sighed and wished mournfully that he could actually taste the hazy blue liquid that the pretty young woman had poured into his cup. He could still feel the fire of it moving down his throat, but the taste eluded him. It would medicate him to an extent, but he could not particular enjoy it. That was the way of the other world, but he still didn?t like it. She gave him a commiserating smile and reached out to pat his hand. Her arm went through the body of her living companion, who started in surprise. Sometimes, a touch from one of the spirit world was just barely perceptible and somewhat disconcerting to the living.

    ?You know him?? Qui-Gon asked, more to pass the time than anything else. The Force had told him to be here?now. And so he was. He still served the Force even if he was now one with it. Old habits were hard to break.

    She stepped closer. ?He?s my father,? she said in an attractive, husky voice.

    ?He still misses you,? Qui-Gon noted.

    Glancing at her father, she nodded. ?And I miss him. I was all he had and now I?m not there?? Her words trailed off as she continued to study her father.

    ?How long?? Qui-Gon asked. She knew immediately what he was asking.

    ?Ten years, almost eleven,? she answered mournfully. Then she smiled. ?My name is Jurla. What?s yours??

    ?Qui-Gon Jinn,? he said with an answering smile.

    ?How long for you?? Jurla asked.

    He sighed deeply, trying to add up the years. Time lost much of its meaning on the other side. What did time matter when there was an eternity waiting? ?Let?s see? More than thirty years now.? He shrugged, as if to say that the passage of time mattered little to him.

    ?You leave behind anyone special?? Jurla asked, leaning forward on the bar and giving him her full attention. ?Wife, kids??

    Qui-Gon shook his head. ?No, I never married. I was a Jedi, you see, and they frowned on that sort of thing.?

    Jurla gave him another tender smile. ?I think you would have made a good father,? she said softly. Then she pointed at the old man standing close to them. ?He was a better father than he ever knew ? and I never even told him. Now?? She sighed and shook her head. ?Well, now I wish I had taken the time to tell him how much I love him.?

    Reaching out, Qui-Gon took her slim, transparent hands in his own. ?He knows,? he told her with conviction. ?He knows, because he loves you.?

    ?I guess that?s why I?ve stayed here so long,? Jurla admitted. ?I?m hoping he?ll feel me here and know how much he meant to me.?

    Qui-Gon carefully studied the old man, who seemed to be intently studying the very spot where his long-dead daughter stood. ?I think he knows, Jurla. I think he?s sensed you here with him many times,? he told her kindly. ?Somewhere deep inside, he?s felt you here.?

    The dead cannot weep, but he saw her face shift, a sort of release deep down inside of her ? the relief that spirits feel when they know they are free. It was a feeling too powerful for mere tears in any case. ?You should move on, you know,? he said. ?He would want you to,? he added, pointing to her father.

    She shook her head. ?I just have to make sure of one more thing before I go,? she confessed softly. ?And then??

    ?What?s that??
  2. dianethx Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    That was lovely and quite sad in a way that her father had to die to see her again.

    Loved that Anakin didn't want any more lectures. Even in the afterlife....[face_laugh]

    Good job.
  3. TnTornado Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 10, 2006
    star 3
    Wow MammaVader,

    I found this viggie, kinda sad, yet happy at the same time.

    Very good.

  4. ZekksGoddess Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 2, 2004
    star 4
    So happy, and yet so sad. Nice job.

    Qui-Gon nodded and took the younger man by the arm. ?Come, my boy, we have much to discuss.? He laughed. ?We?ll talk about patience and waiting on the will of the Force.?
    Anakin groaned. ?I just knew there?d be lectures involved??

  5. SWpants Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2004
    star 4
    That was very interesting. I really enjoyed it :)

    And poor Anakin. Even in death he has to deal with Jedi giving him lectures and telling him what to do! [face_laugh]
  6. Alexis_Wingstar Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2006
    star 4
    Very well written. The ending made me laugh and cry at the same time.
  7. Nienna_Narmolanya Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 5, 2005
    star 4
    Beautiful, VaderLVR! So moving. :_| *huggles Anakin*

    Though you had some difficult requirements, you pulled it off with the usual grace. ;) Wonderful and unique response to the challenge! =D=
  8. LilyHobbitJedi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 29, 2005
    star 5
    This was such a bittersweet little story, I loved it. And Anakin's last line was classic. Great job! =D= =D=
  9. Kestrel_Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2005
    star 4
    Wonderful job with a most evil challenge [face_skull] :D ...

    Loved the ending...well done =D=
  10. Princess_Arulmozhi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 16, 2004
    star 4
    That was quite beautiful, Vadey, It fitted exactly with whom Qui-Gon was ... and somehow, the image of the wookkiee looking back over his shoulder stuck with me. Very powerful. Poor Anakin and his lectures. :D

    Loved the idea of Jurla and Mirsk staying togther for so long ... that's the kind of love everyone looks for. And her father. [:D]

  11. Gina Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2003
    star 4
    All I can say is WOW! Just beautiful, K! [face_love] [face_love]

  12. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Woman, how the hell do you do it each and every time?

    That was such an original and beautiful piece.

    I had tears in my eyes right up to that last line that left me chuckle with delight. Thanks for the gift. [:D]
  13. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    dianethx Well really, who LIKES lectures!? :p

    TnTornado Thank you! :)

    ZekksGoddess Poor Anakin, he can't get away from them! :rolleyes:

    SWpants666 Even death isn't an escape. ;)

    Alexis_Wingstar Thank you!

    Nienna_Narmolanya Thank you so much. [face_blush]

    LilyHobbitJedi That's Anakin for you.

    Kestrel_Kenobi It WAS an evil challenge!

    Princess_Arulmozhi That's love for you!

    Gina Thank you. [:D]

    Healer_Leona Thank YOU for reading.

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