Saga 'The Pranking Padawan' Obi Wan/Qui Gon (Comedy)

Title: The Pranking Padawan
Author: Jasmine Larson
Time Frame: About two years before The Phantom Menace. Obi Wan is 16 in the story.
Genre: Comedy
Rating: G

Summary: This story regards when Obi Wan was still in training. He, as I like to think, was a BRAT. He plays pranks, disobeys and doesn?t listen to anyone. Especially not his conscience.




* * * * * * * *

Qui Gon Jinn sighed and watched his clumsy apprentice try to control the force. "Obi Wan, reach out, control, don't let go!" he called to him. Obi Wan rolled his eyes. "Hey, you're a poet and you didn't know it!" Qui Gon sighed and turned off the shooting device. "How can you concentrate on hitting the target if you cannot stop cracking jokes?!" he demanded and regarded his cocky padawan. The young man shrugged. "I can't help it, I'm from the CA-RAZY generation!" he said and smiled. Qui Gon sighed again. He remembered when he had been assigned to train this young man. It had been about ten years ago. He was chosen to train him he because he was the most powerful in the force, and Obi Wan was the biggest brat ever. No one else was willing to train him, but he had to be trained. Apparently, he was to play an important part in bringing the force to balance. IF the prophecy was true. And that was like hoping the Olsen twins would convert to Jedihood. THAT would be a nightmare.

Anyway, he would have to teach this rebellious teenager that life was NOT all fun and jokes. But, that was NOT going to be easy. All this kid could do was wreck havoc. Well, he would learn different, in time. Qui Gon walked over to his padawan and folded his arms. He looked him in the eye and glowered. The padawan grinned and stared back, using the same expression. Qui Gon turned away and took out the shooting device again. "Now, we are going to try a new line of attack. But this time, let go your conscious self, and act on instinct." he said and put a helmet on him, with the blast-shield down. The padawan laughed. "What are you, NUTS? I can?t even see how am I supposed to kick the bad guys butts??" Qui Gon walked over and leaned on the wall. He folded his arms in front of himself. "Your eyes can deceive you, don't trust them." The padawan chuckled. "Oh, is THAT why you're always running into walls?" he asked and turned on his lightsaber. Qui Gon didn't think he could take another comment like that. He hoped Obi Wan got shot in the butt.

The padawan concentrated and moved in the direction the device moved. It shot him in the butt. Ha Ha. Thought Qui Gon. He was getting quite talented in the force. Obi Wan cussed and took the helmet off. "You did that on purpose didn't you?!" he yelled and glowered at Qui Gon Jinn. Qui Gon smiled. "And what if I did?" he asked and plucked at his mustache. Obi Wan snorted and turned off his lightsaber. "Want me to short-sheet your bed again?" he asked spitefully. Qui Gon stopped plucking. "Ok, you can do it without the blast-shield." he said and prayed he wouldn't find another rat in his vanity chest. Obi Wan smirked and began to battle the device again. Sigh. Why does he always manage to get his way?

* * * * *

Qui Gon was having tea with his best friend, Yogurt. Sorry, Yoda. They had been discussing the new donuts at their favorite restaurant when they hit a lull in the conversation. Yoda sipped his tea and regarded Qui Gon. "So," he asked carefully, "how, doing is your apprentice?" he watched Qui Gons' expression change to something of depression and frustration. "Oh, he is DOING alright. DOING everything he can to make my life terrible! And DOING and good job!" he exclaimed and sipped his tea again. Yoda nodded and eyed the last donut. "Want that, do you?" he asked. Qui Gon looked up. "Hmm? Oh, well, I---"

Yoda: "Good."

Yoda snatches the donut and gobbles in down.

Qui Gon: "----would like to split it."
Yoda: "Sucker, you are."
Qui Gon: "Yes, Master. Now, about my padawan---"
Yoda: "Shoot him, let's."
Qui Gon: "But the prophecy!"
Yoda: "Bah. The prophecy, smafasee."
Qui Gon: "I still don't like th

 

Very funny. I can just picture Obi-Wan being quite the prankster

He hoped Obi Wan got shot in the butt.

Bad Qui-Gon...but very funny

great job

 

! Thanky! I like to think this is how Obi Wan spent his training years. Next Chapter!


* * * * *


Obi Wan stood in timeout and pouted. He watched Qui Gon work at his desk. Obi Wan folded his arms. "C'mon, I didn't do anything bad! Windu liked it." Qui Gon turned to regard him and held up a finger. "No talking in timeout." he said simply and turned back to his paperwork. Obi Wan rolled his eyes and turned back to face the wall.

In the Jedi Council Room........

Windu: "Obi Wan is too reckless."
Yoda: "Seemed to like the purple lightsaber, you did."
Adi Gallia: "Yes, you said he was a great Jedi!"
Windu: "That was before he short sheeted my bed!"
Yoda: (chuckle) "Rather funny, that was."
Windu: "Ha. Wait until he does it to you."
Yoda: "To short I am to be short sheeted."
Winda: "You have a point there."

Windu sighed and leaned back in his chair. Adi Gallia took a drink from her Pepsi can.

Adi Gallia: "You just can't beat these when they're really fresh."
Windu: "Do you have a suggestion? Or are you just going to sit there all night and swill Pepsi?"
Adi Gallia: "Windu, I have sipped, lapped, and taken Pepsi intravenously, but I have never SWILLED Pepsi."
Windu: "You did not answer my question. Do you have a suggestion as to what we should do with this.......Brat?"
Adi Gallia: "I say we shoot him."
Yoda: "My idea, that was!"
Adi Gallia: "Great minds think alike."
Yoda: "Oh, thank you."

* * * * *

Qui Gon dismissed Obi Wan after his time was up and went back to his paperwork. How could it be that he had taken this young man as his apprentice ten years ago, and yet he had made basically no progress? The teenage padawan was impossible. He seemed to come up with something new everyday. If not every five minutes. Perhaps he could talk to Yogurt about it. Sorry, em, Yoda. Yes, that was it. Anyway, he already knew his opinion. Shoot him. Well, they could not do that. Maybe if he approached him in a more submissive manner, NO! You could not be submissive to your apprentice. That is the sure path to destruction. They must forever know that the Master was in charge. But that didn't seem to be working. Maybe a bribe------ Suddenly Qui Gon heard another scream, similar to the one Windu had voiced. He leapt up and ran to where the sound had come from. He ran into Yodas' quarters and stopped dead in his tracks. Yoda was standing front of his mirror, exaiming his pink hair. He turned around slowly and placed both hands on his cane.

Qui Gon: "Was that scream you?"
Yoda: "Was it, yes."
Qui Gon: "It DID sound kind of backward. It sounded kind of like 'crams'. "
Yoda: "I believe missing the point you are."
Qui Gon: "Your hair is pink? Goes nicely with the green."
Yoda: "Goes nicely, it does not!"
Qui Gon: "How did this happen?"
Yoda: "One wild guess, take you."
Qui Gon: (sigh) "Obi Wan?"
Yoda: "Yes! Indeedy, yes! What going to do about this, am I?"
Qui Gon: "Buy a fur coat?"
Yoda: "No, shoot your padawan! I want to."

Qui Gon sighed and walked across the room. He stopped at the window. He looked back at Yoda with seriousness and sadness in his eyes. "You know we cannot do that." he said and turned back to the window. Yoda banged his fist down on his desk. He picked it up and looked at it. "Oh, hurt myself I did." he said and sucked on his thumb. Qui Gon looked out the window. He could see Obi Wan leaning against the stone wall, reading some sort of magazine. "Perhaps I should talk to him, level with him. Ask him why he does the things he does." he said and folded his arms. Yoda snorted and looked in the mirror. "When pink YOUR hair is, look as good, you will not."

* * * * * * *

Qui Gon quickly walked down the stone steps to stand in front of Obi Wan. He stood silent for a moment. He was about to say something when he realized Obi Wan was reading a Victoria Secrets magazine! "What are you doing with that?!" he demanded and snatched it. Obi Wan grinned and shrugged. Qui Gon glowered at him. "You know Jedis' are NOT to be interested in women!" he snapped at him. Obi Wan smi