Before 'The Pranking Padawan' Obi Wan/Qui Gon (comedy)

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  1. HanSoloIsSoCute Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 7, 2005
    star 3
    Title: The Pranking Padawan
    Author: Jasmine Larson
    Time Frame: About two years before The Phantom Menace. Obi Wan is 16 in the story.
    Genre: Comedy
    Rating: G

    Summary: This story regards when Obi Wan was still in training. He, as I like to think, was a BRAT. He plays pranks, disobeys and doesn?t listen to anyone. Especially not his conscience.




    * * * * * * * *

    Qui Gon Jinn sighed and watched his clumsy apprentice try to control the force. "Obi Wan, reach out, control, don't let go!" he called to him.

    Obi Wan rolled his eyes. "Hey, you're a poet and you didn't know it!"

    Qui Gon sighed and turned off the shooting device. "How can you concentrate on hitting the target if you cannot stop cracking jokes?!" he demanded and regarded his cocky padawan.


    The young man shrugged. "I can't help it, I'm from the CA-RAZY generation!" he said and smiled.

    Qui Gon sighed again. He remembered when he had been assigned to train this young man. It had been about ten years ago. He was chosen to train him he because he was the most powerful in the force, and Obi Wan was the biggest brat ever. No one else was willing to train him, but he had to be trained. Apparently, he was to play an important part in bringing the force to balance. IF the prophecy was true. And that was like hoping the Olsen twins would convert to Jedihood. THAT would be a nightmare.


    Anyway, he would have to teach this rebellious teenager that life was NOT all fun and jokes. But, that was NOT going to be easy. All this kid could do was wreck havoc. Well, he would learn different, in time. Qui Gon walked over to his padawan and folded his arms. He looked him in the eye and glowered. The padawan grinned and stared back, using the same expression. Qui Gon turned away and took out the shooting device again.

    "Now, we are going to try a new line of attack. But this time, let go your conscious self, and act on instinct." he said and put a helmet on him, with the blast-shield down.

    The padawan laughed. "What are you, NUTS? I can?t even see how am I supposed to kick the bad guys butts??"


    Qui Gon walked over and leaned on the wall. He folded his arms in front of himself. "Your eyes can deceive you, don't trust them."


    The padawan chuckled. "Oh, is THAT why you're always running into walls?" he asked and turned on his lightsaber. Qui Gon didn't think he could take another comment like that. He hoped Obi Wan got shot in the butt.

    The padawan concentrated and moved in the direction the device moved. It shot him in the butt. Ha Ha. Thought Qui Gon. He was getting quite talented in the force. Obi Wan cussed and took the helmet off.

    "You did that on purpose didn't you?!" he yelled and glowered at Qui Gon Jinn.

    Qui Gon smiled. "And what if I did?" he asked and plucked at his mustache.

    Obi Wan snorted and turned off his lightsaber. "Want me to short-sheet your bed again?" he asked spitefully.

    Qui Gon stopped plucking. "Ok, you can do it without the blast-shield." he said and prayed he wouldn't find another rat in his vanity chest. Obi Wan smirked and began to battle the device again. Sigh. Why does he always manage to get his way?

    * * * * *

    Qui Gon was having tea with his best friend, Yogurt. Sorry, Yoda. They had been discussing the new donuts at their favorite restaurant when they hit a lull in the conversation. Yoda sipped his tea and regarded Qui Gon.

    "So," he asked carefully, "how, doing is your apprentice?" he watched Qui Gon's expression change to something of depression and frustration.

    "Oh, he is DOING alright. DOING everything he can to make my life terrible! And DOING and good job!" he exclaimed and sipped his tea again.

    Yoda nodded and eyed the last donut. "Want that, do you?" he asked.

    Qui Gon looked up. "Hmm? Oh, well, I---"

    Yoda: "Good."

    Yoda snatches the donut and gobbles in down.

    Qui Gon: "----would like to split it."
    Yoda: "Sucker, you are."
    Qui Gon: "Yes, Master. Now, about my padawan---"
    Yoda: "Shoot him, let's."
    Qui Gon: "But the prophec
  2. ladie_padawan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2005
    star 4
    Ah, so that's how his lightsaber turned purple! I always wondered about that.;)

    This is an interesting turn in character for Obi-Wan. I have a hard time not imagining Anakin in those positions instead. I must say, Qui-Gon definatly has his hands full.
  3. HanSoloIsSoCute Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 7, 2005
    star 3
  4. Katieelessar Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 1, 2005
    star 2
  5. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
  6. hyperspace_police FanForce CR Arkansas US

    Chapter Rep
    Member Since:
    Jun 22, 2005
    star 4
    Loved Mace digging the purple blade...:)
    Keep up the good work
    Really enjoyed this. Light and funny. Just what the doctor ordered.=D=
  7. HanSoloIsSoCute Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 7, 2005
    star 3
    Thanks ya'll! Wow! Readers! :D :D :D :D Yes, I wanted to make up some funny reason Windus' lightsaber is purple. ;) Next chapter soon! :D
  8. HanSoloIsSoCute Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 7, 2005
    star 3
    Chapter Two........


    * * * * *
    Obi Wan stood in timeout and pouted. He watched Qui Gon work at his desk.

    Obi Wan folded his arms. "C'mon, I didn't do anything bad! Windu liked it."

    Qui Gon turned to regard him and held up a finger. "No talking in timeout." he said simply and turned back to his paperwork. Obi Wan rolled his eyes and turned back to face the wall.

    In the Jedi Council Room........

    Windu: "Obi Wan is too reckless."
    Yoda: "Seemed to like the purple lightsaber, you did."
    Adi Gallia: "Yes, you said he was a great Jedi!"
    Windu: "That was before he short sheeted my bed!"
    Yoda: (chuckle) "Rather funny, that was."
    Windu: "Ha. Wait until he does it to you."
    Yoda: "To short I am to be short sheeted."
    Winda: "You have a point there."

    Windu sighed and leaned back in his chair. Adi Gallia took a drink from her Pepsi can.

    Adi Gallia: "You just can't beat these when they're really fresh."
    Windu: "Do you have a suggestion? Or are you just going to sit there all night and swill Pepsi?"
    Adi Gallia: "Windu, I have sipped, lapped, and taken Pepsi intravenously, but I have never SWILLED Pepsi."
    Windu: "You did not answer my question. Do you have a suggestion as to what we should do with this.......Brat?"
    Adi Gallia: "I say we shoot him."
    Yoda: "My idea, that was!"
    Adi Gallia: "Great minds think alike."
    Yoda: "Oh, thank you."

    * * * * *

    Qui Gon dismissed Obi Wan after his time was up and went back to his paperwork. How could it be that he had taken this young man as his apprentice ten years ago, and yet he had made basically no progress? The teenage padawan was impossible. He seemed to come up with something new everyday. If not every five minutes. Perhaps he could talk to Yogurt about it. Sorry, em, Yoda. Yes, that was it. Anyway, he already knew his opinion. Shoot him. Well, they could not do that. Maybe if he approached him in a more submissive manner, NO! You could not be submissive to your apprentice. That is the sure path to destruction. They must forever know that the Master was in charge.

    But that didn't seem to be working. Maybe a bribe------ Suddenly Qui Gon heard another scream, similar to the one Windu had voiced. He leapt up and ran to where the sound had come from. He ran into Yodas' quarters and stopped dead in his tracks. Yoda was standing front of his mirror, exaiming his pink hair. He turned around slowly and placed both hands on his cane.

    Qui Gon: "Was that scream you?"
    Yoda: "Was it, yes."
    Qui Gon: "It DID sound kind of backward. It sounded kind of like 'crams'. "
    Yoda: "I believe missing the point you are."
    Qui Gon: "Your hair is pink? Goes nicely with the green."
    Yoda: "Goes nicely, it does not!"
    Qui Gon: "How did this happen?"
    Yoda: "One wild guess, take you."
    Qui Gon: (sigh) "Obi Wan?"
    Yoda: "Yes! Indeedy, yes! Pink my hair is! What going to do about this, am I?"
    Qui Gon: "Buy a fur coat?"
    Yoda: "No, shoot your padawan! I want to."

    Qui Gon sighed and walked across the room. He stopped at the window and folded his arms. He looked back at Yoda with seriousness and sadness in his eyes.

    "You know we cannot do that." he said and turned back to the window.

    Yoda banged his fist down on his desk. He picked it up and looked at it.

    "Oh, hurt myself I did." he said and sucked on his thumb.

    Qui Gon looked out the window. He could see Obi Wan leaning against the stone wall, reading some sort of magazine.

    "Perhaps I should talk to him, level with him. Ask him why he does the things he does." he said and folded his arms.

    Yoda snorted and looked in the mirror again. "When pink YOUR hair is, look as good, you will not."



    * * * * * * *
    Qui quickly walked down the stone steps to stand in front of Obi Wan. He stood silent for a moment. He was about to say something when he realized Obi Wan was reading a Victoria Secrets magazine! "What are you doing with that?!" he demanded and snatched it. Obi Wan grinned and shrugged. Qui Gon glowered at him.

    "You know Jedis' are NOT to be interested in women!" he snapped at him.

    Obi
  9. Mr_Fantastic Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2004
    star 2
    ?Summary: This story regards when Obi Wan was still in training. He, as I like to think, was a BRAT. He plays pranks, disobeys and doesn?t listen to anyone. Especially not his conscience.?

    Of course he listens to his conscience. Trouble is, it keeps changing so he has to adapt himself to it all over again.

    "Hey, you're a poet and you didn't know it!"


    A bold statement, given how he likes to be the poet later. ?It is our decisions that shape our destinies?. I really needed that.

    "I can't help it, I'm from the CA-RAZY generation!"


    Wazaaaaap!


    ?IF the prophecy was true. And that was like hoping the Olsen twins would convert to Jedihood. THAT would be a nightmare.?


    Now that was hilarious!


    "What are you, NUTS? I can?t even see how am I supposed to kick the bad guys butts??" Qui Gon walked over and leaned on the wall. He folded his arms in front of himself. "Your eyes can deceive you, don't trust them."

    Wonder if Luke thought that about OB1

    ?The padawan chuckled. "Oh, is THAT why you're always running into walls?" he asked and turned on his lightsaber. Qui Gon didn't think he could take another comment like that. He hoped Obi Wan got shot in the butt.?

    Man, I love this.

    ?The padawan concentrated and moved in the direction the device moved. It shot him in the butt. Ha Ha.?


    "Want me to short-sheet your bed again?"

    Jedi threats. No wonder they lost the war.[face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh]


    ?Qui Gon was having tea with his best friend, Yogurt. Sorry, Yoda.?
    ?They had been discussing the new donuts at their favorite restaurant when they hit a lull in the conversation?


    ?"Want that, do you?" he asked.?



    I died of laughter. This is sooo hilarious.! [face_laugh]

    ?Yoda: "Shoot him, let's."
    Qui Gon: "But the prophecy!"
    Yoda: "Bah. The prophecy, smafasee."?


    Kill him!

    Best comedy EVER!


    ?You dyed Windus' lightsaber purple???


    ?Qui Gon: "What?"
    Youngling: "That your favorite color is purple too and you're just jealous?"
    Qui Gon: "Obi Wan, timeout."?


    You know, in times like these, what with the darkness strong and all, I really needed this. Unexplainably much. God bless you.

    Master talk everyone:


    ?Yoda: "To short I am to be short sheeted."
    Winda: "You have a point there."?

    ?Maybe a bribe?


    Man this keeps getting better and better.
    [face_laugh]
    ?Obi Wan: "Stop running into walls."
    Qui Gon: "I DO NOT run into walls!"
    Obi Wan: "You wouldn't if you would started believing your eyes when they say you're in front of one."?


    Your Master has taught you well.=D==D==D==D==D=

    Can?t wait to laugh myself out again....

    ....when the update returns.


  10. ladie_padawan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2005
    star 4
    Alright, I know I said this about your last story, but this is the best story you've written by far!

    Yoda: "To short I am to be short sheeted." Toung twister anyone?
  11. HanSoloIsSoCute Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 7, 2005
    star 3
    Mr_Fantastic Wow! A new reader! Acutally, I wrote this without help from my Master, but I am grateful to her none the less. :) Even if she is NEVER online. :(I'm soooooo glad you liked it!!! Next chapter soon! :D

    ladie_padawan Thank you so much my ever faithful reader! I'm so glad you liked this one aswell!
  12. HanSoloIsSoCute Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 7, 2005
    star 3
    Next Chapter! :D



    * * * * * * * * *

    Qui Gon was admitted into the Jedi Council room and escorted in the main decision room. He was about to say something when Windu interrupted him.

    "Is that a Victoria Secrets magazine, you have there?" he asked hopefully. Qui Gon realized he was still holding it.

    "Wha--oh, this? Oh, well, I uh, it's not mine. I em, I got it from----" this time Yoda interrupted him.

    "Where you got it nevermind, to me, give that." he said happily.

    Qui Gon frowned and handed it over. Yoda quickly began shuffling through the pages cheerfully. After about ten minutes Qui Gon spoke up.

    "Em, Master? What are you doing?" he asked and regarded the happy Yoda.

    "Hmm?" Yoda asked, not looking up.

    Windu: "You have been reading that thing for forever! It's my turn!"
    Qui Gon: "I was under the impression Jedis' were to have nothing to do with women."
    Yoda: "That does not mean look at them we cannot. Windu, a beer, get me."
    Windu: "Will it be my turn if I do?"
    Yoda: "Oh, very well."
    Qui Gon: "Excuse me?!?! Can't I mention what I came here for?!?!"
    Yoda: "Oh, yes. Do that I suppose you must."
    Qui Gon: "I believe I know what to do about Obi Wan."

    They all look at him expectantly. He was satisfied he now had their attention.

    "I have come up with a plan, one that will perhaps turn Obi Wan from his pranking ways, one to bring peace to the galaxy."

    Now he had their full attention. He smiled and adjusted his Jedi robes. "I purpose, we give him a taste of his own medicine. Do to him what he has done to us, turn the tables, put him in our shoes---"

    Yoda: "Get it we do without the stupid analogies! What, exactly, do you suggest we do? "
    Qui Gon: "Play pranks on him."
    Mace Windu: "Do you have the next episode?" Windu holds up the Victoria Secrets magazine.
    Qui Gon: "NO!!!"
    Windu: "No need to be rude."

    Qui Gon closed his eyes and sighed. He opened his eyes again and regarded the council.

    "What other choice do we have?" he demanded of them. "What else could we do? Have we failed to work as a team??" he shouted and placed his hands on his hips. Yoda scratched his chin.

    "Failed to work as a team, we have not, BUT, resort to playing childish pranks, we are not ready for." he said with finality.

    Qui Gon threw his hands up and looked at the ceiling.
    "But we must do SOMETHING! We can't just sit here all day wait for him to do something awful to us, can we?!?!"

    Yoda gave one of his wise grunts. "Running out of things to do, I'm sure he is. No more trouble, I'm sure we will have." with that he got up and moved to exit the council room. In doing so he stepped on a small cord, suddenly he was soaked head to little green toes in molasses. He looked up, as the rest of the council did, to see an over-turned container hanging from the ceiling, dripping molasses.

    Yoda calmly turned back to the council and placed his hands on top of each other on his cane.

    "I say, shoot him we should."

    Suddenly the whole council burst out laughing, unable to rely on the force to hold back the giggles any longer. Yoda frowned at them and stomped over to the door.

    Before he exited, he turned back to the Council and growled, "Funny, this is NOT." with that he slammed the door and was gone. Everyone applauded and laughed uproariously again.

    Windu wiped the tears from his eyes and snatched the Victoria Secrets magazine from Qui Gon. Qui Gon sat in a chair and stroked his beard.

    "I still think the strategy I have come up with would be best. We could show him the path to seriousness this way."

    Adi snatched the Victoria Secrets from Windu. "Oh!" she exclaimed, "I LOVE this outfit!"

    Everyone stared at her in disbelief.

    "You see, I have it in pink already, but I would REALLY like it in blue, or maybe even a burnt gold----" suddenly she realized everyone was staring at her. "WHAT!?!" she demanded, "Jedis' wear underwear too."

    Windu: "Can't argue with that."
    Qui Gon: "Nope. What?!?!"
    Windu: "Well, I don't get mine from that mag
  13. ladie_padawan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2005
    star 4
    "Running out of things to do, I'm sure he is. No more trouble, I'm sure we will have." with that he got up and moved to exit the council room. In doing so he stepped on a small cord, suddenly he was soaked head to little green toes in molasses. He looked up, as the rest of the council did, to see an over-turned container hanging from the ceiling, dripping molasses. [face_shame_on_you] Well, that's what you get for doubting Obi-Wan.

    Windu: "Well, I don't get mine from that magazine, except on special occasions, but I can't imagine living life without them. Underwear, that is." [face_sick] Over share alert! I repeat, over share alert! I didn't need to hear that, especially just after dinner!

  14. HanSoloIsSoCute Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 7, 2005
    star 3
    Yes, Windu IS a little over-sharing there isn't he? ;)

    Yoda deserved that. :D
  15. RevaDurron Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2005
    star 5
    Hey great idea!

    Good job. =D=
  16. HanSoloIsSoCute Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 7, 2005
    star 3
    Thanky! I'm surprised this fic is such a hit! I am very happy to have readers! :D :D :D :D :D
  17. Mr_Fantastic Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2004
    star 2
    You crack me up. You really do.
  18. HanSoloIsSoCute Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 7, 2005
    star 3
    Ah, thank you. :) So do you. ;) Just having a fan like you makes me smile. :D
  19. MoeTharen Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 10, 2005
    star 4
    I laughed so hard I think I hurt myself!!!!!
  20. HanSoloIsSoCute Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 7, 2005
    star 3
  21. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Sorry, Padawan, have been abominably scatter-brained, but am now laughing at this wonderful idea. Especially Mace.
  22. HanSoloIsSoCute Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 7, 2005
    star 3
    Hi! Glad to have you back. Missed ya. :)
  23. lost_jedii Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 30, 2005
    star 2
    Hilarious!!! [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] Excellent fic!! :D :D I haven't laughed that hard since...ever :p Seriously, this is the best comedy fic I've ever read. I loved all of it! Especially when Mace's saber turned purple!! And the dialogue with Yoda! [face_laugh] Again, all of it ;)

    I have to admit, at first, I was like, what?? I mean, Obi-Wan as a prankster?? Never saw that one coming! :D It's a really good angle though ;)

  24. Mr_Fantastic Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 5, 2004
    star 2

    I am touched. Deeply.
  25. ladie_padawan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 30, 2005
    star 4
    Wow, readers galore! Very happy for you HanSolo. I just knew people would start coming to their senses about your genius stories!=D=
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