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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Saga - ST The Princess of Renatasia [OTP challenge - WIP]

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Sith-I-5, Nov 25, 2017.

  1. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2002
    ...Continued.


    The painful shock of impact hit Unamo as she hit the floor hard, the Mordling's clothing that had done nothing to arrest her speed, pooling to the floor beside her.

    Silently howling with the pain, she knelt back on her calves and looked up, expecting the Akk Dog to leap over her into the enclosure behind her, or at least run the length of Snoke's legs, for it certainly had the breadth to do so. But did it have the finesse? The balance?

    Uh, guess not.

    She dove forwards and rolled sideways under the leg to her left, as the creature fell scrabbling between Snoke's knees and pile drove nose-first into the ground where she had been kneeling, the impact shuddering under her, and felt through her chest.

    Laying on her stomach and breathing hard into the grass fronds that tickled her face, she recalled her history lessons, finding time to empathise with that Starkiller bloke when he had tried to park that Star Destroyer - slap your hand on the helm, as if a small planet has leapt out in front of you.

    "Stay down!" She heard Kylo's approaching yell as he leapt over her, ducking under Snoke's shin, and heard the timbre of his lightsabre's hum change as it hit something. "Aw, come on!"

    "Didn't work, eh?" Unamo enquired without looking. She brought her arms up and placed them under her head. "What part of 'too strong for blasters', confused you?"

    "But that was its eye?" Kylo complained, standing between her and the supine creature, his back to her. "Who has an eye that can stop a lightsabre blade?"

    "Can I get up now?"

    "What? Oh, sure."

    Unamo gave the thing a last glance, then pushed herself onto her hands and knees, and started to crawl on them in the general direction of their bikes, grimacing each time she put a knee down. After a few paces, she realised that this was not doing them any good, and she forced herself into a standing position.

    "Run!" She heard behind her.

    "Don't count on it. Limping is a struggle."

    The boy was apparently faster backtracking, than she was, hobbling forwards, for he arrived abreast of her, his precious cape wrapped round a forearm. "Well, limp faster then. It's not dead, and we need to go."

    She managed a smile, impressed with his 'take charge' attitude, and for including her in his plans, an expression that faded upon feeling the waking Akk Dog's audible sniffling growls vibrating within her rib cage.

    "You are going to want to spread your legs for this." Kylo suggested casually.

    Unamo halted mid-stride and looked askance at the side of his head. "Excuse me?" She felt herself grabbed around the torso by an invisible hand, and lifted aloft, travelling towards the rear of her elevated speeder bike, realising that if she did nothing with her legs, she would end up kneeling upon the long fuselage behind her seat. "Ah right, I get what you are saying."

    Still, she had to wonder how wide he thought she could manage, and settled for lifting her legs straight in front of her, like she was in an invisible kayak, and knotting her stomach muscles to keep them up. As much as she resented Aunt Maria's instructions to sit with stomach in and back straight, she could see the benefits for an action like this, as well as some of her cadet exercises, realising aloud, "So this is why we do sit-ups!" And all this time, she had thought that it was to help her twist out of Meridean Jitsu hold-downs.

    As Kylo, she presumed, lowered her onto her saddle, which she did indeed spread her knees for, setting her feet onto the pedals, she thought about doing some Meridean sparring with him later, then remembered the musical chairs' fiasco.

    "Perhaps not." She wheeled the bike around to cover him and the creature with its' cannons. "Kyle, come on."

    He started backing towards her, not taking his attention away from the Akk Dog, even as it tugged its hind legs down from the hammock of Snoke's rear clothing that had not spooled in after Unamo.

    With it's rear legs underneath it, the thing lifted its' head off the grass and started angling to belly crawl under the Supreme Leader's suspended shins.

    "Kyle, come on." She repeated, massaging her fingers into her pained kneecaps. "We have to go."

    He gestured helplessly at their unmoving carer. "What about Uncle Snoke?"

    "We cannot do anything while it is so close to him. We can either draw it away, or speed off and circle back round the enclosure, come at it from a direction that it is not expecting." A flash of light on the ground beside the creature's front ankle, drew her attention to her mislaid holdout blaster, pressed into the loam. "I'm unarmed, by the way." This was going to be a life lesson for her; she had never anticipated losing her main gun and her backup within minutes of each other.

    Her Nightscreamer was a civilian speeder bike, so its blasters would not be as strong as those on a military model, such as the old Arakyd 74-Zs of the Empire, but still they would pack more of a punch than her lost hand weapons.

    Kylo passed to her left and reached his speeder bike, climbing over into the saddle and gunning the engine. In a few seconds, he had wheeled his around also, and was facing the same way she was.

    "Okay, start backing up." She emphasizing. "Slowly."

    Their speeder bikes floated backwards, the Akk Dog rising as it cleared Snoke's legs, some of the silk tatters having clung to it's dorsal spines, and stretching back to the Supine Leader's, uh, nether regions.

    An anguished high-pitched cry of Mordling distress cut through their souls, and both looked beyond the Akk Dog to Snoke's lower half, then before they could track their gazes into the enclosure, the Supreme Leader obliged by jerking up into a kneeling position before them, his hands immediately going to where the fabric being strained by the struggling creature led between his legs.

    His unseen manoeuvrings tugged on the strip of silk hooked by the 'Dog's dorsal spines, randomly pulling it back a metre, with the thing actively resisting and trying to surge towards them, the muscles in the 'shoulder' joints of it's forward legs visibly ripplling under the overlapping armour, eliciting another cry from Snoke.

    The kids quickly realised that there was some sort of correlation going on here, and blushed in unison.

    Unamo furrowed her eyebrows, and half-looked away, sparing Snoke's own blushes, whilst still keeping a cautious eye on the snarling predator. "Typical that it would be THAT which woke him up."

    "Femmes don't really get how sensitive vollocks are." Kylo returned, moistening his forefinger with his tongue and taking an interest in the cleanliness of his speeder bike's angled nose section, rather than the game of Tug-of-War going on ahead of him, "Nobody wants an angry Akk Dog running unchecked around them. Stay here, I'm about to do something risky."

    It was a moment before she realised that his speeder bike was not keeping pace with hers, and had actually stopped, the forward steering vanes of hers were a metre back from his, by time she reciprocated. "What are you doing, Kiddo?"

    Ren slipped off his Nightscreamer, unhooking his lightsabre but not yet igniting it, clearly sizing up the Akk Dog as it strained against what had effectively become its' leash to come closer, though whether it actually wanted the children, or was simply being contrarian to Snoke's attempts to preserve his breeding opportunities, was unclear.

    Unamo settled her bike on the grass, and started to lift her right leg over, but once her body reminded her of the extent of her aches, her face clouded, and she settled back onto her saddle. "No seriously, what are you planning?"

    "Uncle Snoke needs freeing from the Akk Dog, and I reckon I can cut through that rope-" He gestured to the tightly twisted cord of mud-and-grass-stained silk. "-with this."

    "Wait a sec', Kyle. Please?"

    He glanced back at her, silent.

    Now she sized up the creature herself. "Can you lift it up?"

    A soft breeze shifted some of Ren's splodge of hair. "Lift what up?"

    She gestured past him. "The Akk Dog thingy. With its paws off the floor, that ought to cancel its traction."

    The thing was a metre off the floor a moment later, it's legs pawing for purchase at a terrain that it could no longer reach.

    "Good idea, One. Why in the Original Light did I not think of that?" Snoke boomed towards them, the cord linking him and the floating Akk Dog, slackening as he drew it back towards him.

    The girl basked in the Supreme Leader's praise, but she was going to have to fess up that she had shot him in the back. The burn mark would be seen when he did the laundry anyway, so it was better if she threw herself on his mercy sooner rather than later.

    Using the Force, Snoke freed his rags from the creature's back, and unwound whatever had been going on between his thighs.

    The Akk Dog blurred up into the air, as Snoke Force-Punted it over the shield walls.

    "I cannot believe that thing had the wherewithal to give me an Antilles!" He moaned, hand-over-hand negotiating the final bits of fabric out of his crack. "Unamo, signal the ship to drop me a replacement set of clothes."

    To be continued...
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2019
  2. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    =D= [face_laugh] [face_laugh] Terrific continuation [face_mischief]
     
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  3. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 11, 2014
    Nice teamwork, Kylo and Unamo! The way things are going I'll be shipping these two something fierce by the time this story is over.

    And Snoke... his first concern would be of course to get a clean change of clothes [face_laugh] A golden robe with a sash perhaps?
     
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  4. Cowgirl Jedi 1701

    Cowgirl Jedi 1701 Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 21, 2016
    So Snoke got a wedgie. I almost feel sorry for him. Almost. :p
     
  5. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2002
    Thank you all for continuing to read. :)

    Thank you, glad you are enjoying it. The world-building comes from another planet, so I have not thought about what caused the damage on Renatasia, but I suppose it could be down to the Imperial invasion and subjugation.


    That is actually not a bad idea. We will have to see...


    Yep, she is proving to be a capable girl. Though this is her first practical experience of what she has been trained in.


    Glad you enjoyed that. I think I broke some laws of logic with just how much spooling Snoke's clothing has done, so I am relieved that that did not detract from the experience.


    :eek: I would be most intrigued to read such a thing! But isn't there an age limit on ships? They're just kids! On second thought, though, I suppose teen' pregnancies must have come from somewhere. They can't all be attributed to a stork.


    It actually took me quite a while to realise that you were referring to what he was wearing in TLJ.

    My Snoke would not have gone down like that, I can tell you. Mine would be wearing some kind of protection against lightsabre attack.


    Did the 'Antilles' pun work?

    Oh, he got more than a wedgie; his bits got knotted up in the silk, which was why he was in more distress the more the Akk Dog tried pulling away.
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2018
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  6. Cowgirl Jedi 1701

    Cowgirl Jedi 1701 Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 21, 2016
    Yes and no. It was funny once I got it, but it took several seconds of "Whaaat?" Before I figured it out. Primarily due to the fact that a wedgie is called a wedgie because of the fabric being wedged up one's buttcrack.

    Ouch. Now I'm forced to feel genuinely sorry for him, despite him being the bad guy, because.....Ouch.
     
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  7. Findswoman

    Findswoman Fanfic and Pancakes and Waffles Mod (in Pink) star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    Oohgosh, I really don't envy the position Snoke's in here, literally or figuratively! :eek: This has got to be one of the biggest disadvantages to being REALLY, REALLY BIG—well, there are many, I'm sure, but getting all your, um, squashy parts tangled up in your outfit courtesy of an akk dog has got to take the cake. I'll echo the other folks' praise of Kylo and Unamo's teamwork; everyone calm the kriff down, they got this! :D Though even with the annoying canine out of the way, I'm betting their troubles still ain't over quiiiites yet...
     
  8. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2002
    @Findswoman - thank you for continuing to give feedback. Snoke probably considers this a disadvantage to everyone else being really small.

    I am glad that you are enjoying the Unamo and Kylo pairing. The former is a rather severe-looking woman in TFA and my fic where Yavscout impersonates Phasma, so exploring this earlier time in her life is quite gratifying, and a bit of a runaway.

    You are right, no plain sailing on the horizon, here.

    * * * *
    ...Continued.


    Unamo called back to the Venator as ordered, then as the tall Mordling gingerly dabbed fingers at the drying wound on his scalp, she informed him that a LAAT was being prepped, and his backup set of clothing pulled from the stores.

    "Hang on." Kylo piped up, looking back at her. "Did you say you were unarmed?"

    "Yeah," she nodded, "I lost my E-11 saving you, then my holdout blaster got crushed under the Akk Dog." She pointed to the silvery reflection within the flattened grass near Snoke's left foot.

    "But what about your ascension gun?"

    "I didn't want to ascend the Akk Dog."

    "It's not just a handy climbing and rappelling aid. It fires blaster bolts as well."

    One frowned at her fellow teen. "Really?"

    "Yes, really." Kylo hooked his extinguished lightsabre to his belt and retreated to the near side of his speeder bike, opening a side storage compartment, and pulling out a wooden-gripped heavy blaster pistol with a thinner barrel under the main one. He used thumb and forefinger to adjust something on the side, and pointed the weapon at the grass between them and the Supreme Leader. "Fire in the hole."

    A lime green blaster bolt zipped noisily into the grass, short-lived wisps of grey smoke rising from the blackened spot.

    Ren held the gun up near his face, barrel pointed skywards. "If you absolutely, positively, have to-"

    "-drokk up a piece of grass, accept no substitute!" She finished with a grin.

    "Aw, look at you." Snoke beamed down at them, the pride evident in those prominent blue eyes. "Finishing each other's sentences."

    This wiped her smile. Breathing in for a heavy sigh, and then again to hold her breath for the pain of dismounting, she climbed off her Nightscreamer, pulled her own S-5 ascension gun from the pannier of her bike, and hobbled towards the space where Kylo had been standing.

    "You're hurt." Snoke observed, sensing waves of pain radiating from her.

    "It's nothing."

    "Stop that. I will not have my children lying." Aiming splayed fingers towards her, he used telekinesis to lift her up and bring her up to his left shoulder, settling her there like he was ready to burp a gassy infant, and placed his right palm over her lower half.

    Unamo could feel a comforting warmth spreading around her bottom and legs, but stayed silent. Her diaphragm pressed into his shoulder, did not make breathing in for speaking, that viable.

    After a couple of moments, he lowered her back to where he had picked her up from.

    "How is that? Have a little walk around."

    She walked in a small circle over the grass within the confined space, frowned and tried bending her knees, then experimented with a squat to put her butt onto the back of her heels, then came back up. "That is wonderful, Uncle Snoke. What did you do? Even the creaking is gone!" She did a star jump, just to make sure, amusing her healer.

    "I oil hinges as well. Doors, hatches, you name..." The Supreme Leader's prattle tailed off as the teenager one eighth his size and mass, lowered herself to one knee before him, bowed her head so that she could only see the ground, and held her gun towards him with both hands outstretched. "Well, this got serious all of a sudden."

    "Supreme Leader-"

    "Ah-ah." He cautioned. "What did we say about that?"

    "-I must confess to shooting you in the back. You will see the scorch mark when you dis-robe, anyway. I throw myself on your mercy. My life is in your hands."

    "Uncle Snoke, I have no idea what she is talking about." Kylo stated in her defence, radiating uncertainty.

    "Did you do it on purpose?"

    She glanced up at him with a hurt expression. "No!" She cast her gaze down again, awaiting a death blow.

    "So it was an accident then. Do you know what happened?"

    "The EC-17 holdout has a touch sensitive grip, rather than an actual trigger. It discharged unexpectedly as soon as I slipped the safety off."

    "Is it ever going to happen again?"

    "I bloody hope not."

    "What's the matter with you?! Do you want Aunt Maria soaping your mouth out? No more swearing from you, am I understood?"

    "Yes, Supr-"

    "Alright, shut up now, your Uncle Snoke is thinking." The stern Mordling nodded his great head slowly, considering. "What was your favourite cake from the Cake Deck, One?"

    "Pyollian." That was an extremely sweet, gooey dessert from the Pyolli system. It was made from sweet cake mix, oats, carbosyrup, and fruit. And it could drip over and stain sundresses up like nobody's business. "But I don't see-"

    "No Pyollian cake for you on the voyage home."

    The confused cadet peered up at her Supreme Leader, lowering her hands. "I-I don't understand."

    Snoke waggled a fleshy forefinger between the children. "In case you somehow failed to absorb this little tidbit, for the entirety of Operation Bizarre Rescue, you were not simply a recruit within my cadet force; you became my little girl and I am responsible for your safety. I would not do anything to harm you."

    "But I could have killed you!"

    "Because I was out for the count, leaving you at the mercy of that horrible creature. And yet, Kylo is still alive. Because of you. You are hereby retro-actively, and indefinitely, seconded from senior trainee in the First Order cadet programme, to little girl within the Snoke Family Unit." Snoke looked over her bowed head towards the fallen jedi. "Kylo, your mother would have given you a lesson in family trees before you came over to us. What does this development make young Unamo, to you, and to me?"

    "She becomes my cousin, and your niece, Uncle Snoke."

    "Correctamundo, as Master Windu used to say. Unamo, you are now my young niece, and you will remain in my care, regardless of the provocation." He aimed a finger down towards her, "You are not to consider that a challenge."

    Although still kneeling, she was already gazing up at the Mordling. "Oh, I won't, Uncle Snoke. I promise!"

    "Good girl. Get up off your knees and brush yourself down." He looked over her head to Ren behind her. "Kylo, take your speeder bike ahead, and resume checking for the enclosure that we need. You shouldn't have any problems with that Akk Dog, although..." Now, he hesitated, looking off into the distance, "I did not sense its demise."

    Snoke had Unamo rise to a standing position, and looked past her till Ren had disappeared beyond the right-hand turn several metres behind the parked speeder bikes. Out of sight, and more importantly, earshot.

    The giant being curled a finger at her, to get her to follow, then stepped over into the breached enclosure to get room to sit down, and dropped into a cross-legged stance, whilst Unamo clambered over the shield wall, and picked her way through the flattened brambles to reach him.

    He directed his new family member to clamber up onto his uppermost ankle bone, which was like a small hard pouffe under her.

    "With training, Kylo Ren can be one of the most powerful assets in the First Order's arsenal, if handled right. His particular brand of the Force is expected to peak when he reaches his late teenage years, however, that would be years too early for the First Order, as we are still re-building. To better align our two goals, intervention has been taken, to restrict his biological and emotional development until the time is right. You will already have noticed that he is not the most mature abo this side of the Galactic Centre. That is by my design."

    Sitting with legs outstretched before her, hands out to the side for balance, Unamo nodded up at him to continue.

    "After the pressure of growing up as the scion to two heroes of the Rebellion, and at the Skywalker' academy; being nurtured at a youngling level, is clearly beneficial to your cousin, and unexpectedly, I enjoy taking care of him as well. And while you will be serving the First Order by continuing as an additional child alongside him, to add to the familial stability, as well as being an extra layer of protection for him, I daresay that it will benefit you too." Snoke gestured with a hand. "When the time comes for him to start his training, his emotional and biological development will be allowed to proceed; and we can discuss you being a big girl again, and if you still wish, returning to complete the cadet programme. After graduation, being the Supreme Leader's niece, I shouldn't think you would have that much trouble gaining whatever position you desire."

    She looked up at the sound of approaching repulsors. "Incoming."

    A flappy-edge black square was dropping out of the sky, putting her in mind of the sandcrawler motif on her crop-top.

    "Ah, good. Clothing."

    "Ah good? Run!" Feeling that it was coming right at them, Unamo swivelled round on his ankle, preparing to slide down to the ground.



    To be continued...

    Note:

    Pyollian cake description, is a direct lift from Wookiepedia. Except the bit about sundresses
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2019
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  9. Findswoman

    Findswoman Fanfic and Pancakes and Waffles Mod (in Pink) star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    Yes, have to agree with Snoke here: it is rather cute to see these two finishing each other’s sentences. :D Interesting to see that ascension guns have more than one use; lucky for both Kylo and Unamo that they do! This Kylo’s slowed-down emotional and biological growth does indeed explain several things, though I feel for Unamo having to take on the role of the “little cousin” to make that possible for him. Well, maybe it will have some advantages... it certainly will mean dear Uncle Snoke is watching out for her very closely, I suppose...! Looking forward to more. :)
     
  10. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    =D= =D= Your Snoke is a clever and long-range strategist :cool: I like that. [face_thinking] Makes any contest of wills more adventuresome besides more realistic :p
     
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  11. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2002
    Yes, all the previous posts were, no pun intended, a piece of cake compared to that one, but it was necessary. My fics and RPs all do seem to be leading to the creation of family units. Not sure what it says about me...

    Yes, Naboo S-5s, "ascension guns" fire blaster bolts, darts, and liqui-cable can be fitted to the darts or grappling hooks.

    And yes indeedy, beyond this fic, Unamo is firmly on her uncle's radar, and he is already very proud of her progress.

    @WarmNyota_SweetAyesha - Interesting that you should focus on Snoke's long term planning.

    Unexpected. Thank you for continuing to read.
     
    Last edited: Jan 27, 2018
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  12. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 11, 2014
    Ooh, Kylo really is developing a crush on Unamo, isn't he? And I'm not only talking about finishing each other's sentences, he also comes to her defence when he feels that she might need it. I also laughed out loud at Snoke being more concerned about his niece using foul language than about having been shot in the back.

    Meanwhile, Snoke's plan is to keep Kylo in this childish, whiny state? You'll tell me, this is a story where he slaughtered the Jedi Order because of a game of musical chairs, so why not. Poor Unamo though. Being niece to the Supreme Leader is a promotion of sorts, but I'm pretty sure she'd rather train as a cadet than look after her new cousin.

    And this chapter end... Is Unamo being paranoid, or is Snoke oblivious, or both?
     
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  13. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2002
    Whoops, sorry, forgot that I had not responded.

    I'm not sure if I would interpret Kylo's support towards Unamo, as a "crush", however, I felt that if forcibly disallowed from giving his fatal "toys out the pram" mode free reign, he would gain feelings towards the eventual peer.

    For Unamo, sure, she would probably prefer to be with her squad mates, with any privileges that come with being a senior cadet; but I also look at it that she trained her entire life for service to the First Order, and this is her being called to adventure and duty early.
    Loss of identity was her main problem that first day - hair dyed blond and pink, out of uniform, forced to wear dresses, fish out of water.
    Within a few days, a Cake Deck, settling in with Kylo as an equal peer, stuffing their faces, living, exercising and working together; I feel that most if not all negatives will have faded to the background.

    For the package dropping out of the sky, as a Force User, Snoke can potentially deflect it's course with his powers; whilst Unamo's only options are sit tight, or evade.
     
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2018
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  14. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2002
    ...Continued.


    Kylo slipped sideways off his speeder bike, casting his Force Sense around the area like a sensor sweep, then stepped up the shield control console of the latest enclosure, deftly pressing the button sequence that changed the shield colour frequency from malachite green to transparent.

    The usual tangle of overgrown brambles and vines was absent here; instead replaced by stalks of a white crop, Shorn Grain.

    The Dark Padawan stood for a moment, reminded of one of the essays that he wrote at school while still living with Dad and Chewbacca.
    His class of ten year-olds had been asked to describe what they would do with the opportunity to travel back in time.

    He had been one of the handful to avoid the usual trope of punching out the Emperor, including one remarkably well-informed little girl who had the foresight to take along a lightning conductor.

    Instead, he wanted to go find the clerk at the Old Republic's Department of Agriculture, who thought that 'shorn' was the name of a type of grain, and not the past tense of 'shear'.

    "Dude, read a book sometime." Ren muttered, though the advice would be several hundred years too late for the long-dead author of that eternally enshrined error.

    Well, he still needed to see what was beyond the cereal.

    Ren concentrated to created a Force Wedge that would initiate and work beyond the shield wall, not start from himself, and get blocked by it, visualising a large V-shape, like the prow of a snow-plough..., or the plough of a snow-plough, now that he thought about it.

    The teenager smiled at that, while his cape rippled in the breeze.

    ****

    Back at the outdoor changing room, Unamo was dutifully standing at the edge of the clearing, hands clasped together in front of her, looking at the ruined shield generator, whilst behind and above her, the Supreme Leader got changed into his backup set of clothing.

    Her right hand slapped out to knock aside a buzzing insect that looked to be heading up her skirt.

    "Any ideas what I should do with these old rags?" Snoke enquired. "Give them to a charity shop, perhaps?"

    "What's a charity shop?" She enquired without much conviction. Her forlorn thoughts spinning with the turmoil of her suddenly changed circumstances. There were some aspects of barracks life that she certainly would not miss, but what of her friends?

    She had never seen Kylo over there. Would she be allowed to visit?

    At the end of the day, she was just a kid, so it was not long before her melancholic thoughts turned to the likely situation of knowing that Kylo could nosh on his favourite cake, while she was not allowed to have hers.

    S'not fair, she sulked to herself, looking down, her fingers idly playing with her skirt's sharp pleats. After some moments, she considered a possible implication of her revised situation. Her head came back up. "Uncle Snoke?"

    "Yes?"

    "I have always been told that the word of the Supreme Leader is unquestionable. So..., with you insisting that I can't call you that, does that give me leeway to try arguing, uh, I mean, stating my own case."

    "Sure, why not."

    Her uncle's tone sounded amiable enough, so she proceeded. "I AM very sorry that I shot you in the back, Uncle Snoke, but the Pyollian Cake..." She paused, then rushed ahead, sounding a little more distressed than she had intended at the outset. "I do like it very much!"

    There was silence.

    "Please can I still have some on the way back?"

    "Oh, alright. I would not have enforced it for too long." The Mordling conceded, easily. "What would I do with myself if I could not wash your outfits every night? Thank the Core that no-one ever told you about wearing bibs!"

    "Wha-what?!" She started to spin round to face him, but found her progress blocked by a soft but invisible 'force' that she could not perceive, likely meaning that her uncle was still not decent. She turned back to the emitter wall. "I thought Aunt Maria was washing my dress."

    "Nope! Me. I'm stuck on my back in that hangar with little to occupy my mind, and you can only play Holdoku for so long before it starts to get a bit samey-samey. Then, that second night, doing the rounds of the ship, I found the laundry that your Aunt had left out to soak, and I found it a good mental exercise." Snoke paused at the memory of the secret pleasure and accomplishment he had felt when expressing polite intrigue at the night crew on the Bridge reporting doors in the second tower opening and closing mysteriously, with nothing on the holocams, whilst simultaneously playing Oseon's 11, or rather Oseon's 1, to smuggle that box of detergent down to the hangar, where he could read the instructions. "I don't think she yet understands how your dresses were getting soaped up, rinsed, and hung out to dry. She probably thinks it's elves. All I know is that she's started leaving out saucers of milk."


    Once he'd got the hang of the taps, it had been easy enough to empty the saucers down the sink, and wash the milk away.

    Unamo silently marvelled that the highest authority in the First Order was washing her drawers, and thinking nothing of it!

    "Away Team from Flaigon's Fist."

    She lifted her wrist-comlink. "Away Team, copy."

    "The lartie spotted a herd of those Akk Dogs-"

    "A herd?!" She exclaimed with a cracking voice, her eyes widening at the thought. They had barely managed to handle a single one of the dro...things.

    "What have you herd?"

    Cupping a hand over the comlink, she raised her head and called back, "A herd of those Akk Dogs has been detected, Uncle Snoke!"

    "Well, are they coming this way?"

    "I'll ask."

    The Mordling felt the distinct ripple through the Force of his question being answered, and it felt like the one that they had tangled with, in more ways than one, had not only survived his Force Throw, but rallied its buddies.

    "Belay that. Instruct Hux to deploy the All Terrain Tactical Enforcer. And get to your speeder bike."

    The cheer-uniformed girl did as she was told, then compared the thorny brambled strewn route to the emitter wall, beyond which her Nightscreamer still floated, to the flattened area where the Supreme Leader had fallen through the shield, and chose the latter direction, detouring to her left, and picking her way over the flattened brush, ignoring the scratches around her ankles as she stepped through, sat on the wall, lifting her legs together to swing them over.

    "SLG from Kylo."

    Unamo ignored the call till she was settled into her saddle of her bike, lifting the wrist-com up as she looked over her shoulder to check on the Mordling's progress, to see that he was slowly stomping out of the enclosure.

    "SLG?" She echoed.

    "Snoke's Little Girl!"

    She scowled upon hearing the grin in her new cousin's tone. "Well, if I have to answer to that, what about you?"

    "What about me?"

    "You can be BHB. Bad Hair Boy."

    "What's wrong with my hair?"

    "Have you seen yourself in a mirror, lately?" She retorted, smiling to herself. "And don't tell me, Grandfather never used mirrors."

    "Ah, Lord Vader probably did not." The Mordling interjected, as he stopped over her, twisting a bit to avoid his left arm brushing the still active energy shield on that side. "Unfortunate accident with a lava stream, combined with an inherent mis-understanding of the tactical advantage of high ground."

    "Oh." Unamo paused for a moment, then quickly rallied, returning her attention to Kyle, "If I can get my hands on some hair clips-"

    "Oh, don't you worry," Snoke interjected, "there will be hair clips."

    She looked back and up excitedly. "With jewelled butterflies?"

    "And Findwoms." He promised, referencing a gossamer-winged insect that looked a lot like a dragonfly. Long segmented body like a pregnant pencil with a belt fetish. "And don't think you are getting away without ribbons in your own hair, little lady."

    After clocking her grin, the Supreme Leader asked if Kylo had just called to trade barbs.

    "Kyle, why did you call?" She relayed, facing the front so she could talk on the comlink more comfortably.

    "Oh, right. I found the enclosure with the fairy structure."

    "Really?! Good job. Stand by." Unamo twisted in her seat to look up Snoke's golden robe, into his concerned blue eyes. "He's found it, Uncle Snoke! He's found the fairy!"

    "Tell him, good work. Tell him to establish his coordinates, and transmit them to the 'Fist. I want the Terrain Enforcer to be dropped there to cover us."

    ****

    After relaying his coordinates and instructions to the Communications Officer aboard the Venator, Kylo took a few moments, plucking a food bar from the locker on his speeder bike, and leaning back against the shield emitter wall.

    He had re-greened the energy barrier, as he felt too exposed and self-conscious with it in transparent mode behind him, even though he had visually confirmed that there were no Akk Dogs inside the hexagon zone.

    He tore off the coloured flimsi wrapper, and eyed the fruit-and-nut encrusted rectangle before biting off the top and chewing on the moist treat.

    He had bought several of these with the pocket money that Uncle Snoke had given him before he had gone on the research trip. And unlike someone else's attempt to teach him responsibility, or the value of credits, or something, he had not had to earn it by washing a Corellian freighter over several weekends.

    Kylo chewed reflectively, swallowed, then bit off another chunk as he thought about Unamo. If she thought she was applying hair clips to his 'fro, she had another think coming.

    Upon finishing the meal, and having sated his hunger, he crumpled the wrapper and dropped it on the grass beside his boot.

    She and Uncle Snoke would be along soon, and they would want this shield down so that they could enter.

    Turning round to face the dull silver metal, he felt hesitant to destroy this shield emitter as well, but he still had not worked out how to make the shield wall go down without doing so, so pulling his cape away from the shield and wrapping it around his free hand, he ignited his lightsabre, slashing and poking the smiley face into the fascia, backing off from the hot conflagration and the grey smoke that billowed angrily towards him.

    CHUNK

    Looking up, he could see through the smoke, that the green wall lowered the same two hundred metre increment as last time, as power drained from the thing.


    To be continued...


    OOC: Thanks go to Findswoman for the butterflies and dragonflies' hair clips.
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2019
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  15. Findswoman

    Findswoman Fanfic and Pancakes and Waffles Mod (in Pink) star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    All caught up at last! Dear old Uncle Snoke; I think I like your version of him better than the one in the films. :p I knew he wouldn't really stay mad at Unamo for long... and how to know that he's been helping do her laundry! Not only does she appreciate it, but I'm sure Maria does too. (I totally take Snoke's point about needing something to keep himself occupied under the circumstances... space travel in a space that size, for a being his size, can't be easy or pleasant.) And now it looks like a whole herd/flock/pack/murder of those akk dogs are on their way? Uh-oh, our heroes (!) had better step lively; even just one of those beasties was enough of an annoyance! :eek:

    As always, I really enjoy the repartee between Unamo and Kylo—Kylo's lush Byronic mane done up in jeweled insect-shaped hair clips, what an image! [face_laugh] I'm glad I was able to provide inspiration on that score—though I'm afraid you might have to remind me of the exact circumstances, since I don't quite remember when it would have come up. (Just my insectoid avatar image?) Kylo's school assignment from years ago gave me a laugh, too; he might want to review how perfect passive participles work! :D

    And now the shields have been disabled and access to the palace has been gained... can't wait to see what wackiness will await Kylo and co. inside! Because I'm pretty sure "wackiness" will not be an inaccurate way to describe it. :D
     
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  16. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2002
    Thank you so much, @Findswoman , for continuing to read and review.

    After an earlier chapter, where Unamo first thought about clipping Kylo's mane - love your Byronic reference - you suggested the jewelled butterfly and dragonfly, in your comments!

    You are indeed right to use the word 'wackiness', as we steer towards the endgame.

    Thanks again. :D
     
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  17. Findswoman

    Findswoman Fanfic and Pancakes and Waffles Mod (in Pink) star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    Oh, you're right! I recall now, and I went back and found the comment in question. Thank you for the memory jog! :D
     
  18. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] Hair clips on a 'fro. [face_mischief] =D= Love the banter as always =D=
     
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  19. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2002
    Thank you for continuing to read and comment, Warm'.
     
  20. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2002
    ...Continued


    Maria Van Helsing paused a moment to gaze up through the Venator's now open bow, then stepped up the nearby ramp into the back of the ancient All Terrain Tactical Enforcer, a six-legged armoured combat transport that dated from the Clone Wars, just prior to the formation of the Empire that she had joined.

    She stepped lively to catch up with the only other female onboard.

    Phasma, a statuesque blonde woman, was ducking under the vehicle's low ceiling as she headed forward through the rear towards the cockpit, vocally hoping that the techs had adjusted the seating for her, otherwise she was going to be driving with her knees in her chin.

    "Just put your helmet on, for Core's sake-" Maria protested, cutting off her advice as she shut her eyes and looked away from the freakish way her taller counterpart navigated the circular hole in the bulkhead into the forward section of the cramped craft, leading with one leg and her head, at the same time, then pulling her trailing leg after her.

    It was eerily like watching a two-legged spider, one that lived in silver sheath dresses and kneeboots, glistening its way through the lives of others, ensnaring their attention.



    She herself, grabbed the horizontal grip-bar above the same hole, lifted her own booted feet, tucking her knees quickly up to her chest, kicking both feet through the hole and swung herself after them.

    A semi-armoured lieutenant, grey uniform combined with chest armour and helmet, lingered a glance after Phasma, then back to Maria, directing her to one of the ten back-to-back seats at the centre of the compartment, five facing her left, and five, her right.

    "Sir." She took the first one on her left, smoothing the back of her black skirt under her as she sat, though quickly finding that she was not going to fit, till she pulled her E-11 blaster carbine from her hip holster, and placed it in the nearby gun rack on the wall, where it pointed up to the ceiling.

    She looked up to the young First Order' officer, many years her junior. "So what is going on, Sir?"

    "I will brief everyone, once you are all sat, Sergeant."

    She nodded. That was sensible, though she wouldn't have minded an exclusive explanation.

    Helsing glanced back through the hole, where fully armoured stormtroopers were taking their places, either at the rear passenger seats, or to man the two rear laser cannon that extended from twin globes set into the armoured hull.

    The lieutenant appeared in her vision again as he crossed to the hole himself to call through it, "Hurry it up in there! We need to deploy to the Supreme Leader, now!"

    "Air One to Felinx One. We are in position overhead, and ready to lift you." She heard from behind her, in the cockpit.

    "Felinx One, copy. We are...still boarding" And that was Phasma, the former holo-actress sounding quite the professional, even if she still dressed like a starlet on actual deployments.

    "Alright, give us a shout when you are ready. Air One clear."

    From what the former Monster Squad member gathered; many within this new organisation, were still starstruck at having such a celebrity in their midst, and indulged her a fair bit.

    * * * *

    Fairy Enclosure

    Kylo now stood upon his deactivated shield emitter, in a spot away from where he had cut into it, and the thick black smoke billowing up from it, though he could still smell the burning.

    He alternated his direction between facing into the enclosure, looking past the enormous 'fairy' structure, and wondering if he should also deactivate, read: break, the opposite emitter as well, to give his Away Team an escape route if the Akk Dogs tried to corner them; and facing outwards to look along the two energy-walled pathways between enclosures, anxious to see his uncle and new cousin, so that they could get this show on the road.

    "Patience." His Uncle Luke would have cautioned. "Impatience leads to the Dark Side."

    "Yeah, well that boat has sailed, Uncle Luke." He murmured aloud, shuttering his eyes as a light breeze caressed his face.

    A sudden droning sound from overhead, drew his attention skywards, where the fat swaying legs of that AT-TE walker were the first things he saw, and then beyond it, the lower hull and magnetic clamps of a carrier-variant LAAT passing directly overhead.

    "A-T-T-E. All Terrain Tactical Enforcer." The fourteen-year-old tested his knowledge of the acronyms. "L-A-A-T. Low Altitude Armoured Transport." He frowned, recalling that LAATs used to be able to ferry armour from orbiting star destroyers, to the ground, yet kept the 'Low Altitude' tag. How did that work?

    He turned to watch the transport descend smoothly into the centre of his enclosure, a kilometre from the structure's carved stone feet, green paint that had flaked off in large patches, going up the bare shins and calves, to knees that then disappeared into the covered area between the shadow of the seated figure's bare knees, so it was clearly wearing a sarong or skirt.

    That still did not explain how he had known that the thing would be green, but he shrugged the matter away.

    Magnetic clamps silently opened, and the carrier smoothly ascended into the air, like it had simply bounced off a trampoline, leaving the AT-TE behind, obscuring the lower part of his view.

    The helmet and arms of a Stormtrooper gunner were barely visible at the rear of the AT-TE's ungainly main weapon, an impressive-looking long thin barrel set into a small pyramid just behind the blocky forward cockpit. The turret swung around, doing a full circle around the six-legged tank.

    Kylo raised his wrist-com. "BHB to SLG." Despite that Unamo's suggested callsign alluded to him having a bad hairstyle, he was okay about going along with it. Especially as she had not contested him calling her 'Snoke's Little Girl.'

    "SLG, copy."

    "AT-TE is on station, and has been dropped off." He reported, glancing up into the clear skies. "I don't know where the lartie went."

    "It should be staying on station, in case we need an aerial evac'."

    "Okay, well, I hope they know that."

    "They do. If you can't see them, they may have gone to see how the Akk Dogs are doing."

    Kylo sensed a hint of movement through the Force, and still holding the comlink up close, he turned on the barrier to triangulate his senses towards what he was sensing, eventually spying, mostly concealed by bushes bearing purple berries, a small creature pushing it's furry white head out of the green turf upon which the bush sat.

    It was a small fluffy white mammal, short rear legs that were bent, which chunky thighs that indicated that it would be quite adept at jumping about a fair way.

    Looks a bit like an dash-rabbit. He thought. Just without the ears.

    It gambolled a half-metre clear of the bush, pink nose twitching in a cute manner.

    Careful not to get blindsided, he glanced out towards the direction the others out to be coming from. "What's your E.T.A.?"

    FUUMP!!

    He visibly recoiled from the sudden impact sound, one knee momentarily coming up.

    "What was that?" Unamo asked from his wrist-com.

    "You heard that as well?"

    Ren glanced around, up, down, to see where the loud retort had come from, , but with no sign of anything new, he started breathing again, and returned his attention to the rabb...it, ...he blinked, confused.

    It was now a heavyset light grey bird, an avian of some kind, sat in a circle of flattened grasses in pretty much the same spot. Apparently oblivious to his surveillance, it lifted one feathered wing to give itself a good pecking in whatever passes for an armpit in birds.

    Was this thing some kind of dramatic shapeshifter?

    "We'll be with you in a few seconds." Unamo advised.

    "Copy that. BHB out." He cut the connection and dropped his arm, and frowned down at the bird, as, it stood up on stubby legs, and made little hops to negotiate the grass, getting to the edge of the circle, turning to inspect what it had been sitting on...

    Ren's eyes widened at the sight of the flattened remains of the fluffy creature that he had just seen. As if to add insult to injury, there was what he took to be a brown diamond-shaped guano stain marked into the snowy fur.

    "What in the Original Frag?" He muttered in shocked disbelief.

    His uncle's huge right foot dropped into view in front of him, shaking the ground slightly as Snoke stepped over him into the enclosure, prompting the avian to flap it's wings for instant lift, startled out of dodge, but only as far as the lower branches of a nearby tree. "Language."

    "Uncle Snoke!" Kylo blurted. "I think that bird just belly-slammed on that, that creature."

    Once the towering Mordling was fully in the enclosure, between the boy and the AT-TE, he turned to look where Kylo was pointing, hands on knees as he leaned over for a closer look at the furry pancake. "What, the street pizza?"

    "Well, if you want to get technical." The former Solo scowled.

    The hum of Unamo's swoop arriving, preceded the wash of cold air buffeting Kylo from behind, blowing his cape over his head, and folding back the grey pleats on her IPRL miniskirt as she halted alongside him, momentarily leaned over her handlebars by the sudden stop. "Ow!" Her expression matched her complaint.

    "You okay?" He tugged the cape off his head, and ran the fingers of one hand through his mane.

    "Friction burn. If I'm going to be riding in bare legs, I'll have to nix sudden stops that have me sliding along the saddle."

    "Good call. Children, when we get back, I want a written report, not typed, written, from both of you, listing everything that you learned on this trip, including that little lesson, One. Also, what you both liked the most, and what you didn't like."

    "But my handwriting is terrible, Uncle Snoke!" Unamo protested, with more of a whine than Kylo was used to hearing from her.

    The towering humanoid, although less-so with his hands on his knees, smiled. "Parenting is weird, Sweetie; it can shift the mindset once you become invested in the lives, experiences and creativity of your younglings. Almost everything that you have done, these past days, I have just found endearing, so I wouldn't worry about how I regard your work."

    Slightly mollified, she leaned sideways from her saddle to take a look. "Once we get finished here, we can comm the Renatasian Museum of Natural History, and ask them what does that."

    "I know what did it!" He pointed up into the tree. "That did it!"

    "Regardless, let's find your princess, first."

    "Another good call." Snoke straightened and returned his attention to the elaborately carved structure that now towered above them. "Now, Detective Ren, what have you found?"

    Despite his uncle and cousin's dismissal of the crime scene, Kylo shot it a lingering glance, considering the brown stain left on the poor thing.

    The sight flashed his Mind's Eye back to a smaller, younger, him with his action figures aboard the Millennium Falcon, his mother shaking her head with amused resignation while Uncle Lando had regaled him with a short tale of animal cooperation, where a wampa and a rabbit were caught short in the woods. The wampa had asked the rabbit if it ever had a problem with scat sticking to it's fur.

    "No!" The perplexed rabbit had replied.

    So the wampa had wiped its ass with the rabbit.


    To be continued...


    Notes

    I like to do 1500 word updates, and I encountered writers block after a thousand, months ago, and it was helping out on a ship description on a discussion thread, that inspired my bird vs rabbit scene, and assisted getting this update posted.
     
    Last edited: May 16, 2020
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  21. Findswoman

    Findswoman Fanfic and Pancakes and Waffles Mod (in Pink) star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    OK, playing some long-overdue catch-up, but still very happy to see this story continuing! I have to say I feel more than a little sorry for that rabbit, and I'm curious about this apparently shapeshifting bird that has the ability to... bodyslam and street-pizza-ize a rabbit? :eek: Yes, I do hope the Natural History Museum will be able to fill them. And I'm glad both Kylo and Unamo are back with dear ol' Uncle Snoke, though I bet neither of them are looking forward to their little written report assignment! :p
     
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  22. Kahara

    Kahara FFoF Hostess Extraordinaire star 4 VIP - Game Host

    Registered:
    Mar 3, 2001
    Really enjoying the increasing level of zaniness in this. What a wild field trip it's been for Uncle Snoke and the kids! :D Right from the start with the reason for their mission being from a fairy tale that Snoke was reading to Kylo as a bedtime story, the delightful weirdness just keeps on adding!

    Kylo should know something about that sort of overreaction. :p

    The GFFA-adaptation here is so fun! I really like that the fairy to blame is a cranky bounty hunter.

    All these moments of teenage Kylo awkward! And poor Unamo/One too with her outfit that was born to be a wardrobe malfunction. (At least Maria tries to help, but a cheerleader outfit is a bit of an adjustment for a kid used to running around in military-type uniform all the time.) Unamo had escaped my notice in TFA, so it's fun to see this version of her early years -- she sure was a snarky teen once upon a time. :p

    [face_laugh] Truth hurts, Kylo. I can see how Snoke hopes that introducing him to her will be a bit of a positive influence. (And wow, the irony of the Supreme Leader of Evilness and Stuff having to now figure out how to stabilize the teen he encouraged to go to the Dark Side. Be careful what you wish for, oh scary overlord.) Anyway, I enjoy how utterly honest-to-a-fault One is, and that Kylo is flummoxed -- and apparently, a bit charmed -- at this snarky peer he's not allowed to murder on orders of Uncle Snoke.

    You can do it, One! He's not that perceptive, poor thing. :p

    I don't know whether it's funnier that Snoke's idea of a cool teen hangout is a literal Cake Deck, or that it really seems to work. :D Gotta keep that Dark Side at bay with the power of SUGAR. (But boy, the sugar crash you don't want to see.)

    [face_rofl] My absolute favorite continuing joke in this story. It makes at least as much sense as canon!

    [Edna Mode Voice] NO CAPES! [/Edna Mode voice] One makes some good points about the sheet... sorry, cape. Really enjoyed the banter with her and Kylo, as well as poor Snoke (!) playing referee. And her thoughts on how Kylo's hair situation needs taming. :p

    [face_rofl] Oh no! And again, I find myself having to say: poor Snoke! The sheer awkward logistics of dodging around Snoke's everything are just played to maximum effect. Keeping him as this giant like we saw in the TFA hologram makes everything so much more inconvenient -- and much more funny!
    [face_laugh] He really gets into being Uncle Snoke! I like how he's this scheming villain on the one hand and going "aww" over his adopted charges like they're kittens on the other! I also feel bad for One, getting dragged into being a full-time babysitter for Kylo. And it turns out that Kylo has deliberately been made artificially more immature and emo for Sneaky Snoke Reasons. Though at least they get along, mostly.

    [face_rofl] If the shoe fits...
     
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  23. Sith-I-5

    Sith-I-5 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 14, 2002
    @Kahara - Thank you for reading, and providing feedback on several things that you enjoyed.

    Edit: I just realised your meaning, re. the fairy being a bounty hunter, this weekend.
    "Bounty" also means prize or gift, so in the stories' context, the commemorative plates for the princess' party were the missed bounty, rather than the aggrieved fairy having missed capturing someone.
     
    Last edited: May 17, 2020
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  24. Cowgirl Jedi 1701

    Cowgirl Jedi 1701 Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 21, 2016
    This reminds me of the movie Open Season, when Boog the bear had a porcupine stuck to his butt.