Before The Qui-Gon Jinn Challenge Thread : New Challenge **Qui-Gon as a kid ** updated 5/8/05

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by dianethx, Sep 19, 2004.

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  1. Princess_Arulmozhi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 16, 2004
    star 4
    <strolls in, and jumps a mile high> Oooh, you liked it!

    dianethx: Um...<imagines firelight, cocoa and blanket> You have a way with words :D .Thank you so much - for saying, especially, that it made you want to read it a couple of more times. :)

    Layren: *sighs happily too* Thanks! :)

    Healer_Leona: Thank you, HL. I've always wanted to know what exactly a certain random padawan/master might have thought of our duo. And I wanted to project a little of all the unconventionality that goes with a long-haired-master-strong-in-living-force, with a severe-looking-padawan-who-plays-by-the-rules (well, most of the time). :)

    PadawanKitara: Thanks, PK. :)

    Knight_Dilettante: Thank you, fellow knight...eh? <blinks>

    >>>You know, I think you ought to write the whole story of that mission and post it on it's own thread. What? It worked last time!>>>

    >>>To KD, you listen. I also think it should be on its own thread.... with more!>>>

    <eyes glaze over> I will post the whole story...Oy! What do you think you're doing?! Now I've got sithly plot bunnies punching me...ow. [face_beatup] .

    Now you've done it. I've already written up Plutlin and Zherde and Obi and everyone else battling through pipelines in Alum're - in my head. All I've got to do is transfer it to the screen...argh.

    maychorian: Thank you so much :). Gimme some time, and I'll see what I can do :D .

    Gah. Talk about mind-tricks...

    Right. Will stop hogging thread, sit back and wait for other stories now. Until the Plot-Bunny Strikes Back, anyway. :D
  2. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
  3. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    I've updated the challenge...
  4. darshaassant Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 13, 2005
    star 2
    Yay I get first post. Here's my answer to the challenge.

    With His Own Eyes

    The temple was never silent. Even in the wee hours of morning, there was sure to be someone about. There were quite a number of nocturnal Jedi in the Order.

    Temple initiate Qui-Gon bit his lip distractedly and stared at the forbidding grand entrance of the Jedi Temple. He was hiding in the shadow of one of those golden statues that lined the veranda, hoping with all his little heart that he would not get found out. If he did, the consequences would be too vast to imagine. But he had to know. He had to see it for himself.

    All of them said he would see it for himself when the time came. As if it was some kind of rite of passage. It was not ? one could not be denied it. It was a right, like the right to breathe.

    And so he had snuck out of bed, utilizing the force to muffle the sounds he made as they had been taught to the previous day. He glanced up at the towering statue that loomed over him, then back at the doors. True, they were open, as they always were, and many beings of different shapes, sizes, and social stature went past. There were a couple of people in flowery shirts that proclaimed them to be ? what was that word again? ? twerrists. Yes, twerrists. People that came out of curiosity to see the Temple. They were never allowed past the veranda, though. Probably because their flowery shirts would give the girls funny ideas and the Masters would have a bunch of flower-wearing girls on their hands, and several ravaged flower bushes in the Room of a Thousand Fountains.

    Qui-Gon sighed, and huddled against the back of the statue. The Jedi Master on guard duty would have to have not a single midichlorian in his blood, not a single rod or cone in his eyes, and a speed comparable to that of a snail in order for him to get past. Which was highly unlikely, if that person ever managed to pass his, her, or its Trials.

    He risked a peek over the corner of the statue?s pedestal, and groaned inwardly. The Jedi on duty was just a Knight, but Temple rumour had it that he was going to attain the rank of Master soon, with him having Yoda?s eye on him. Yoda?s good eye that looked on you when you were good, not the one that stared at you when you were bad.

    Knight Dooku. With his famous polished urban manner that Master Jocasta Nu had called charming, and his crèche mate Adi had called: ?Cool!?.With his well known prowess with the lightsaber that many Jedi Masters with twice his experience could not match. With his connection to the force, so deep that only Yoda?s probably went deeper.

    Knight Dooku.

    Qui-Gon turned back and stared glumly at the corridor that led to the dormitories. There was no chance of it. Not ever.

    But still?he remembered..

    A sunlit (artificially) room, the gentle whisper of an old, gnarled green goblin?

    If even hope you do not, then a hope you do not have.

    Qui-Gon didn?t really understand it, but he knew it was something about not giving up, ever.

    Small face grim with determination, chubby cheeks flushed with anticipation, he carefully drew in the force.

    It wasn?t there.

    Qui-Gon moaned. Not now! Not when he was so close to seeing it! Well, he just had to rely on luck now, and base skill.

    He silently tiptoed past the rowdy twerrists, and darted into the shadow behind the massive door. Now, all he needed to do was to crawl past the stairs and peek over the wall?

    He turned back to look at Knight Dooku. The Knight wasn?t at his post. Qui-Gon?s mind silently crooned croons of delight. Probably a change of shift, or maybe the Knight was hungry and had gone to get a snack. Guard work was hard work with low pay, according to a CorSec officer that had been called in to give a talk.

    Still looking over his shoulder, he walked forward ?

    ? straight into a rough homespun sash.

    Qui-Gon stared stupidly at the nerf-hide boots, then gulped and looked upward, where Knight Dooku was looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

    Qui-Gon gulped again.

    Dooku still looked at him wi
  5. Princess_Arulmozhi Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 16, 2004
    star 4
    Twerrists. :D

    Sweet. Qui sneaking out to see the sunrise (he does seem to do a lot of that, doesn't he?) ...and meets his future master into the bargain. :)

    Don't we know where that rebellious streak comes from. :)

    And thanks, VaderLVR64 :)
  6. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    darshaassant that was great! [face_love] How sweet!

    Qui-Gon stared stupidly at the nerf-hide boots, then gulped and looked upward, where Knight Dooku was looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

    Qui-Gon gulped again.

    Dooku still looked at him with the same expression.

    Qui-Gon sadly began to turn to troop back to his quarters.

    Knight Dooku cleared his throat. Qui-Gon turned back, hope etched on every millimeter of his features.

    If hope you do not?

    ?I would try the towers, if I were you. Better view, and although you younglings are still not allowed in there, it?s less dangerous than going out,? the knight said, a half-smile on his face.


    And I can so see that too! [face_laugh] Dooku prob would know that that was what the lil one was wanting to see ;) - the sunrise.

    Loved that it was all about the sunrise! :D Great job!
  7. PadawanKitara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2001
    star 5
    That was adorable- I never thought he was going thru all that just to see the sun rise.

    Love the jab at hawaiian shirt wearing tourists.
  8. darshaassant Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 13, 2005
    star 2
    Princess_Arulmozhi: Thanks for reading! :p I'm particularly proud of that misspelt word. (Actually I stole that from a four-year-old. :p)

    Kynstar: Glad you enjoyed it! Dooku prob would know that that was what the lil one was wanting to see - the sunrise. Dooku's a nice understanding guy. Just misunderstood. :p

    Padawan_Kitara: Thanks for reading too! That was adorable- I never thought he was going thru all that just to see the sun rise. Us poor kids. :(

    Love the jab at hawaiian shirt wearing tourists

    I forgot to mention thick hiking boots, ultra long socks, big backpacks and the brown fishing hat.
  9. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Title: Far From Home
    Author: VaderLVR64
    Timeframe: Pre- JA
    Characters: Qui-Gon Jinn, OCs
    Summary: The birth of a Jedi legend.
    Notes: The product only of my odd mental meanderings.





    Far From Home



    ?Congratulations, milady,? the midwife said quietly. ?You?ve got a fine boy here.?

    Lenora Jinn lay back wearily on the pillows. She reached out her hands. ?Let me see him. I want to hold my son,? she whispered.

    The two women shared a smile. They had shared the long hours of Lenora?s labor together and the midwife was almost as tired as Lenora herself. But the new mother felt all of her exhaustion fade away as she held her newborn son. The crackle of the fire in the hearth was all that was to be heard in the room, for the baby was quiet and content to be held.

    She ran her hands down the length of his body and shook her head in wonder. ?He?s so big,? she said. ?He?ll be a big man.?

    Sarta, who was both her childhood friend and midwife, grinned. ?I?m thinking that?s what took so long.? She leaned over and inspected the quiet babe more closely. ?Look at those feet, Lenora!?

    Lenora held the boy?s feet and chuckled. ?I think we?ve got a fine pair of feet with a son attached.?

    The baby stared up at her with deep blue eyes, his little fists moving about, but he was not crying. She pulled him closer and his head turned unerringly toward where he sensed his sustenance would come. Lenora gave a sigh of contentment as the little one nursed. She brushed her fingers over the moist brown strands of his hair.

    ?He?s going to have my hair,? she murmured. ?And his father?s eyes.?

    Sarta laughed. ?I?m sure they?ll get word to him soon,? she said as she began setting up a cradle for the baby. ?And he?ll come rushing in with his big loud voice and take charge, mark my words.?

    Lenora smiled fondly at the thought of her large, boisterous husband holding their son. His huge hands would dwarf their new son, even as large as the babe was. The baby continued nursing, not at all disturbed by their conversation. He wriggled closer, his tiny hand resting against his mother?s flesh.

    The two women heard a commotion outside her chamber and Sarta hurried to open the door. Before she reached it, the door opened wide and there, framed by the light spilling in from the windows behind him, stood Amri-Lon Jinn. His eyes were immediately drawn to the bed and when he saw his wife cuddling their baby he gave a wide grin.

    He rushed to her side and sat down on the bed. He peered closely at his son. ?Well now, that?s a fine?? he stopped and smiled at his wife, his blue eyes alight with laughter. ?Boy? Must be a boy; too big for a girl, wouldn?t be proper!?

    Lenora laughed. ?You?ll take what I give you, Amri!? Then she drew back the blanket. ?But yes, this is your son.?

    Amri gave her a swift, thorough kiss. He seemed to always be in a rush, forever hurrying from one task to the next. Sometimes she felt as if she lived in the center of a whirlwind, but knew she wouldn?t change one moment of her life with him if given the chance. She didn?t even notice Sarta discretely slip out of the chamber.

    The baby continued to eat steadily, although his eyes had been drawn briefly to the deep, loud voice that sounded above him.

    ?That?s my son all right,? Amri bragged. ?Nothing comes between him and his supper!?

    Lenora pulled her husband closer and gave him the soft kiss she had been longing to share with him the moment he had walked into the room. ?And now your lady wife is hungry,? she informed him. ?I expect you can have some food brought to me now that I?m done with this business of birthing your overly large son??

    A bark of laughter rang out in the room, causing a momentary pause in the baby?s eating. But then the little one continued on calmly, ignoring the noise.

    ?He?ll eat us into the poor house by the time he?s five,? Lenora said with a smile. But then the baby pulled back and his eyes closed as he dozed in a satisfied stupor. A tiny bit of liquid dribbled out of the corner of his mouth.
  10. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5

    Darhaasant that was simply adorable! Cute little Qui all he wanted to do was see the sunrise ... so precious!


    Awwwwwwwww VaderLVR that was beautiful!!!! =D= It demands to be fed more...I work in a nursery and I just sighed with happiness :p Truly adorable..must have more.

  11. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    With His Own Eyes - Loved lil Qui's idea the the 'twerrist' weren't allowed past the veranda becasue of their flowery shirts... definitely a kids thinking. Ohhhh, that was wonderful!!! I can so see him doing just that, even at a young age being enthralled by sunrise. Love that Dooku was the guard.. nice tie in!! Superb viggie darshaassant!

    Far From Home - ?Look at those feet, Lenora!? .. is it not amazing how long and thin baby feet can be? Loved Amri-Lon's comment about it must be a boy!! Cute and funny. Beautiful VaderLV simply beautiful.





  12. Alethia Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 13, 2005
    star 5
    darshaassant- very cute. I liked the interaction with Dooku- Dooku sending him to the tower to look at the sun. And tewrrists (which I can't seem to spell)- excellent. You could really see Qui-Gon thinking that. Lovely fic.

    VaderLVR-how sweet. I liked the way you gave us a view into Qui-Gon's birth and what his parents were like. They seemed like a very sweet couple and it's almost sad to think that he'd have to leave him. What a wonderful job you did with that scene.
  13. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    VaderLVR64 that was sweet! [face_love] Awww the mush of mums and dads with lil'uns! :D

    Great job! Loved the comment about the feet and overly large ;)
  14. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    darshaassant Loved it! And Dooku's response was wonderful!



    As for mine, I have to admit that the line about the big feet with a son attached belongs to something my own midwife said after she delivered my middle son. His feet, even then, were twice as long as normal baby feet. And seeing that, at fifteen years of age, he wears a shoe size 14 1/2, that isn't suprising! I pictured Qui-Gon as combination of his mother and father. Thanks to all who read!
  15. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    Excellent vigs! Of course Qui-Gon loved the sunrise when he was little, too. And his thoughts about Knight Dooku were cute and touching. Loved it.

    And VL . . . Aw. Precious. Absolutely precious. I remember when six of my seven younger siblings came home from the hospital, so I was channeling that experience. Yet all along I knew that he was going to become a Jedi, so it was a bit sad, too. I loved how you were able to draw complex and interesting characters so quickly. I really like Amri-Lon! Great, great vig.
  16. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Here is my humble offering.

    Title: Two of a Kind
    Author: Layren
    Summary: When Dooku is punished for his disobedience he meets a child who will forever change his life.
    Disclaimer: I don't own star wars. Please don't sue me.
    Rating: G
    Notes: Thought of this while at work today. Thanks for Kynstar for the inspiration of how Dooku would respond to a child :)


    The walls of the crèche were brightly decorated. Vivid reds, oranges, blues and purples adorned the walls. Pictures of the children?s work were tastefully displayed around the room. The sounds of happy children playing reached Yan Dooku?s ears as he pushed open the door to the crèche and stood in the entryway with a scowl.

    He did not want to be here.

    His Master had thought it was a good idea for punishment for his actions earlier that morning. One did not insult Master Yoda or his apprentice and get away with it. Dooku had seen to that. He knew what people said did not bother his Master, but Dooku could not stand it when taunts were flung out about him and his teacher and how he would someday be a disgrace to the Order he served. It made his ears burn and his anger flare.

    It had given him distinct pleasure to beat the other boy?s face in who had insulted him. He would never dare insult him again. Yoda however, had not been pleased at all. ?Controlled you should be,? His mentor had said, his ears dropping more with sorrow than anger. ?Controlled you were not. Help in the crèche to learn control you will. Good test it is.? Twenty words and a whack on his knees with Yoda?s stick and he was sent immediately to the crèche, his shins still stinging.

    A small boy, no older than four caught his eye. He was a serious looking boy with brown hair and he was tall for his age, but it was his eyes that caught Dooku?s attention. They were a deep, crystal clear blue and the Living Force seemed to radiate from him. Dooku walked over to the youngster and sat down next to him. He sensed something from the boy.. he felt.. sad about something.

    The boy turned away shyly as Dooku approached him and didn?t say anything.

    ?Hello little one. What is the matter?? Dooku pressed the lad, wondering with some since of shock why he was showing any interest at all.


    The boy shrugged and his eyes strayed to where two bigger boys, one a green skinned Rodian and the other a human, were playing with a toy spaceship.

    ?They took that from you didn?t they?? Dooku said guessing by what he sensed from the boy.

    The young one nodded and his eyes filled with tears but they didn?t fall. ?They don?t like me. They said I couldn?t play with them. I?m not big enough and I?m not like them.?

    Dooku was outraged that they would treat such a young one that way. ?What?s your name??

    ?Qui-Gon Jinn,? the boy replied. ?I?m three and one half,? he added.

    Dooku chuckled a little. ?I?m seventeen myself.?

    Qui-Gon?s jaw dropped. ?You?re old!?

    Dooku laughed even more at that. His eyes twinkled and he patted the boy on the shoulder. ?Do you want to know a secret Qui-Gon??

    Qui-Gon looked back at him with wide eyes. ?What?? He asked in a whisper.

    ?I?m not like them either,? He said jerking his thumb back to the other boy. ?We?re different you and I. We feel things that other Jedi don?t feel. That?s just how we are.?

    ?Why?? Qui-Gon asked looking down.

    ?The Living Force.. you are strong in it Qui-Gon. They don?t feel that part of the Force like we do. It?s their loss,? he added with a scowl.

    ?But you?re like them a little aren?t you? You?re big too. Big people always fit, don?t they?? Qui-Gon asked seriously.

    Dooku sighed. ?No, not always,? he said thinking of what the other boy had said about him that morning. But you know,? he said focusing on the child again, ?one day you?ll be big too,? he said giving the boy a critical glance.

    Yes he could see that in Qui-Gon. The child would grow and fill out his shoulders. His hands would wield a lightsaber crafted with his own hands and be a great Jedi
  17. Alethia Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 13, 2005
    star 5
    Aww...I really liked the Dooku/Qui interaction. And Qui-Gon calling Dooku 'Dook' was just too cute. Yes, Qui-Gon will definitely grow... And oh, I just have this grin on my face. It was such a sweet fic.
  18. maychorian Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 7, 2005
    star 4
    That was splendid, Layren! Great characterization of both Qui and Dooku. And I noticed the introduction of your rival for Qui-Gon. ;)

    Very cute.
  19. Healer_Leona Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Jul 7, 2000
    star 9
    Two Of A Kind - Ohh, Yan needed punishmentafter fighting, bad boy. Qui-Gon?s jaw dropped. ?You?re old!? At seventeen??? Goodness, what would that make Yoda! [face_laugh] [face_laugh] I enjoyed that Dooku stuck up for Qui-Gon and bonded with the ilttle boy a bit.

    Lovely viggie Layren.
  20. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Aww that was cute! [face_love]

    ?I?m not like them either,? He said jerking his thumb back to the other boy. ?We?re different you and I. We feel things that other Jedi don?t feel. That?s just how we are.?

    ?Why?? Qui-Gon asked looking down.

    ?The Living Force.. you are strong in it Qui-Gon. They don?t feel that part of the Force like we do. It?s their loss,? he added with a scowl.

    ?But you?re like them a little aren?t you? You?re big too. Big people always fit, don?t they?? Qui-Gon asked seriously.

    Dooku sighed. ?No, not always,? he said thinking of what the other boy had said about him that morning. But you know,? he said focusing on the child again, ?one day you?ll be big too,? he said giving the boy a critical glance.

    Yes he could see that in Qui-Gon. The child would grow and fill out his shoulders. His hands would wield a lightsaber crafted with his own hands and be a great Jedi saving thousands of lives and doing good for the galaxy.


    And indeed Qui-Gon did :)

    Loved the comparison there! :D I would think that those who were strong in the Living Force would have a hard time, because of the fact of being able to 'feel' from other living beings.

    Great work Master! :D
  21. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Layren Loved it! Two of a kind, indeed. [face_laugh]
  22. Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 9, 2000
    star 4
    I'm not really a fan of kids in fan fic, but these are wonderful, and really seem to reflect Our Hero's personality... They're sweet without being "cutesy-poo!"

    Well done! Anyone else? *she asks hopefully*

    I have to admit, I want a follow up to see how Qui-Gon's father takes it when he finds out his son has Force potential. It must have been a wrench to agree to let him go... I think Lenora probably paid a big role, there.

  23. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    darshaassant I really liked that Dooku was so sympathetic to the young boy. Sneaky little Qui-Gon was adorable, intellegent and just so cute. I thought you did a lovely job of showing the young rebel in the making. Well done.


    VaderLVR64 Another lovely piece. The birth of a child is always a joyous thing but you put in just a touch of sadness into the story. I loved the big hands, big feet and that he was named after his grandfather. Great job.


    Layren I thought you got the young Qui-Gon just right. Not too cutsy but perfect for the age and his personality. Dooku was well done, too. Ah, 17 and still battling his anger and pride. I liked that they met in the creche. Great foreshadowing of their future relationship.
  24. darshaassant Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 13, 2005
    star 2
    VaderLVR64- Heh... Qui-Gon being born! I would like to see a sequel too. :p Loved the feet and the son line too. :D. Thanks for reading my viggie!

    Layren-Ahhh.... no wonder they became master and padawan... they already had chemistry between them! (Qui and Dooku I mean) ANd dooku stopping him being bullied was sooooooooooo sweet! Ahhh.. watch out for that one.... he draws nearer to the dark side....Muahahaha. [face_skull] Thanks for reading my viggie too! It's not as nice seeing it on TV than seeing it in real life. :p The sunrise, I mean.

    Healer_Leona- Lol, I'm a kid, I should know. Haven't seen a tourist without a hawaiian shirt yet. Not where I live, anyway.

    Alethia: It's twerrists, but it's ok if you don't spell it that way. :p

    maychorian: Yay, another reader! Hope you enjoyed it!

    Edit: dianethx: Argh you posted while I was posting. Thanks for reading! Heh... you noticed that about the young rebel. :D
  25. Alethia Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 13, 2005
    star 5
    It's twerrists, but it's ok if you don't spell it that way

    Ah... I tried to go back and check, but my computer wouoldn't let me (it does things like that). Twerrists. It still makes me smile...
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