Before - Legends The Qui-Gon Jinn Challenge Thread : New Challenge **Qui-Gon as a kid ** updated 5/8/05

Just a quick hit and run for me today. Ooodles of work work and home work and oh golly I need a vacation so bad.

Lovely work everyone. I will try hard to reply in detail later on. Here's a couple more I came up with when I was working. Not about Qui this time, more like his own thoughts.

tones
it is a hard life
yet fulfilling, filled with joy
though he sees it not

portents
they withdraw, search time
for answers the universe
gives freely if you live

 

Athena Loved the image of him dancing barefoot in the moonlight. I can really picture it!

Raven Welcome. I liked it, especially that he was looking at Obi with pride. They are my favorite pairing.

Leona Oh, so sad. And to think he's been through it all before...

KD I liked both of them but especially portents. The emphasis on live was nicely done.

Great job everyone.

 

Since the haiku challenge was so successful, we did discuss a second challenge... and here it is.

First Kill challenge - write about Qui-Gon reacting to the first time he witnesses someone killing another. The killer can be a) Dooku, b)Qui-Gon himself, c) one of his padawans, d) one of the Jedi or e) one of his friends (whoever that might be).

It does not have to be from Qui-Gon's point of view!

 

MysteriousRaven Oh, I like that, is a happy nice picture. Nice work!

Leona Stop typoing my name! lol. I really like that, so good, so sad, so perfect.

KD Very good, very deep.

diane You can thank John Fogerty for that image.


Yay! New challenge!

 

This plot bunny came to me and would not leave me alone. I don't even think it's any good, but I wrote it and darn it, I'm going to post it! Suffer, you all shall! Anyway, I started out to portray Dooku one way, and then he just up and changed on me. He is a Jedi, after all.


There is No Death

Blaster fire erupted from the trees above them. All around them they heard the soldiers yelling as they aimed at the Jedi. He could see his fellow Padawan, Tonhj, darting to the left for a copse of trees that might provide some shelter.

He heard Master Dooku muttering under his breath as he considered the number of enemies facing them. His Master gave him a signal and he began to make his way to the trees, where Tonhj was waiting for them. He heard his Master running behind him, drawing as much fire to himself as possible.

Always, the Master would protect the Padawan.

This mission had gone badly from the moment they had stepped foot on the planet. He knew Master Dooku was angry. He could feel his attempts to control his anger, to channel his emotions into thinking of ways to get them out of this mess.

Overhead, he heard the roar of the huge, hairy tanglor beasts as their enemies? foes began to draw near. It was enough of a diversion to draw their attention away from the Jedi, who were now gasping for breath among the trees.

Soon he heard the soldiers retreat, chasing after their first targets, the Koi tribesman.

It was supposed to have been a fairly simple mission. They were to have negotiated a treaty between two warring tribes, the Koi and the Redm. What they had not expected is that the Redm tribe would find the idea of the Jedi offensive to their unusual and somewhat fanatical religion beliefs.

The three Jedi had ended up running for their lives.

The arrival of the Koi had given them a brief reprieve. But they still had to find to get to their ship and inform the Council that this particular negotiation would require the expertise of someone other than the Jedi.

Qui-Gon was shocked that they were targets because of someone?s religion. He felt appalled at how cheaply the Redm seemed to hold any life that did not fall within their rather narrow guidelines. He knew that his own reverence for all lifeforms was considered notable, even among the Jedi. But this was an offense against all but the most hardened heart.

Tonhj was sitting on a small rock, his face pale and sweaty as he tried to recover from his run across the rocky plain. He had come alone, without his Master, for this mission. His Master had gotten very ill just before the two teams were due to leave. The Council had decided to send young Tonhj along with Master Dooku and his Padawan, Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon approached Tonhj, who was quiet and reserved, but friendly. Tonhj met his eyes and then coughed. To Qui-Gon?s horror, bright red blood came spraying up out of the boy?s mouth. He held his hands out toward Tonhj, calling for his Master at the same time.

Tonhj slipped off the rock into Qui-Gon?s arms. His body felt cool and heavy as the young Padawan clutched it to him. Master Dooku came rushing up and began to take the burden away from his apprentice.

Qui-Gon shook his head and grasped young Tonhj more closely to him. ?I will hold him, Master.?

Master Dooku nodded and set about examining the boy with a silent and rapid thoroughness. He did not say anything as his eyes met Qui-Gon?s, but the boy saw the horrible truth in his Master?s gaze.

Dooku brushed back Tonhj?s black hair and leaned down. ?You?ll be fine, Padawan, and with a fine scar if you want to keep it.? Master Dooku?s elegant voice was soothing and gentle as he murmured to the mortally wounded young man.

Qui-Gon shot a glance at his Master, his eyes questioning. His Master met his gaze squarely and Qui-Gon felt his answer through their bond.

I can do nothing for him, Padawan, but give him comfort. That is what I intend to do.

Qui-Gon gave a quick nod to show he understood.

?Padawan, you stay here while I try

 

Ohhh how Dooku'ish was that!!! Great work!!! His last statement was soooo chilling and so Dooku!!!

Yippee! Had a Dooku fix for the day!! Great job indeed!!

Loved how he did take the body with.

 

Oh, that was so fast. And very sad. Lovely that you could show Qui-Gon and Dooku so well. Great job.

 

wow that was really good hon! I really liked the way you characterized both of them. I think Qui-Gon would definetly have not wanted to leave his friend's body and want to give him a proper Jedi funeral. Great job!

 

oh, that was wonderful, you did them very well. Poor things, Qui-Gon and the other boy. It was very lovely, and sad.

 

Really liked both Dooku and Qui-Gon in this. It makes sense that Dooku would have issues with the Jedi building up even years ago. Great little viggie!

 

That line about the ocean was inspired by a conversation I had years ago with a man who had actually drowned and then been revived. He said it was a remarkably peaceful way to go, which shocked me. He just remembers feeling sleepy and knowing he should do something, but feeling unable to do so.

 

That was so beautiful and sad VL! Great job and excellent writing!

 

Because I really, really, really need to get back into writing SW stuff, here's mine.

Amiri appears in <I>Making</I>...she's my favourite OC.

Death of Someone

"I think they think I'm really wrong,"

Kanak Dooku, who was sitting among vast piles of paperwork, writing in his holodiary, and feeling overworked and hungry, looked up at her. "Sorry?"

"They. Everyone in general. Yoda and the Council and the Younglings and..."

He went back to his work, but he still heard the last part. "..and you."

Dooku picked up the ink pen he was using and looked at it. It was an expensive little thing. All the way from Alderaan. They didn't make them anymore. When he lowered it and placed it on the holodiary, Amiri was still there. She wasn't going to go away. He wasn't sure if he wanted her to. He knew what she was going to talk about.

"Why do they think you're really wrong, Amiri?" he asked.

"It's because of your Padawan," she said. "He was really upset today. And I noticed..." he realised the weight she'd put on that word, "...and I asked him what was wrong, and he said it was because on that last mission you were on, he had to kill someone. It was the first time. And he hated it and he was almost in tears."

"I noticed too, Amiri. I just didn't think...look, when I was a Padawan..."

"When you were a Padawan," she said in a whiny tone of voice he knew and never really hated. "When you were a Padawan. You always say that. You're not one anymore."

"Yes, I'm aware of that."

"He told me everything. I think he just wanted to get it off his chest. You know about this, don't you? You were actually there? You know who he killed and how he killed her and...everything?"

That was the thing...he didn't know. He'd been somewhere else, slicing off arms and legs and trying to stay alive, trying to make sure he wouldn't end up dead...for no matter how bad Qui-Gon felt now, he'd be even worse off if his Master had died...

"Wait...you went to the Council? About my Padawan?"

Amiri blushed. "I...it's just...it never seemed right to me. You didn't see him, I did...he was so upset..."

"Oh, Amiri!" He groaned. "They'd have laughed you right out of the room!"

"They didn't," she said, slightly defensive. "They said they'd think about it. Meditate on it. Then they sent me away."

"You're very naive, Amiri. You might have known..."

"Anyway," She cut him off. "You know who and how he killed?

He paused. Why was it causing him shame to admit this? Years ago, if anyone had asked Yoda about him and the people he'd killed...he'd have muttered something about...about death or life or something. Maybe he wouldn't have understood. He should be able to. "No. Sorry. I don't know."

She rolled her eyes at him. She looked like a little girl. But then she became an adult again - an adult and his friend, not some child he had to look after. "It was a girl. It was the girlfriend of...what was his name...the Leader's son. He told me..." her voice shook a little, "-he told me she looked like Tahl. Except for the eyes. He said she had brown eyes. But the hair and the face and everything..."

Dooku almost shrugged. The girl hadn't looked like anyone in particular to him. "He obviously didn't kill her for no reason."

"No. He wouldn't do that," Amiri said. "She...oh, I don't know. He didn't tell me much. He said she was trying to protect her boyfriend...like Tahl would protect him...and she turned her blaster to him...he said he didn't want to kill her...and she shot at him...and he killed her."

"Had he not killed her, she'd have killed him," Dooku said firmly. He wished she didn't make so much fuss. About this or about anything. Then a thought struck him. "She shot at him? Is he hurt? He didn't look it..."

"No, he didn't look it. He insists there's nothing wrong. I tried to get him to the Healers, but he wouldn't budge. You know how stubborn he can be."

Dooku nodded slowly. Discon

 

Poor girl... wow! Great that was great!

Loved how you talked about how it affected Qui.

 

Sarahthenerd that was wonderful! Wow! I'm really glad you're getting back into the swing of Star Wars!

 

Nice, Sarah, that's an interesting take on it. Dooku should know Qui-Gon would need him after that situation. Silly man.

 

Sarah Glad to see you back. Very nicely done. I liked how you managed to give us insight into both Dooku and Qui-Gon without being too sentimental. I feel bad for Qui-Gon! He needs a good master to give him a hug...

Great job.

 

Thanks, you guys!

(She's not his first Padawan though...she's a friend who's younger than him, and he made her stay in the Temple instead of going to the Agricorps, which was what she wanted to do.)

 

VaderLVR64: Loved it! I liked that Dooku gave up the fight and gave in to Qui's need to bring the Padawan's body back to his master and to not leave him for their enemies to do with as they please.

Sarahthenerd: Dooku could kill people, Qui-Gon would some day be able to kill people, much as she hated to think about it...but she couldn't.

I like the sense that Qui-Gon is one that will always feel remorse at a life lost. Great job!

* * * * *

I've been fiddling with this long enough, so good or bad it's being posted. I wasn't sure if this is what the challenge had in mind, but here goes.

Thanks to VaderLVR64 for looking over a small sample for me.


No Longer Tainted


He had been sent on an errand. An errand was all it was suppose to be. Deliver the message and return to his master with the other party?s response. The directive was simple, the task should have been easy, but the assignment was condemning.

The threat detached itself from the shadows and trailed him, seeking a weakness. When no limitations were forthcoming, one by one they began to surround him, taunts and jeers making their way around the group. The apprentice ignored their temptations of conflict and sidestepped around them to continue on his way. The mission his master had sent him on was imperative; he had to deliver the proposed treaty. Subtly reaching into his tunic, he felt for the document his master had entrusted him with. Having lightly brushed it with his fingertips, he breathed a sigh of relief knowing that he had not yet failed.

The leader of the group, a tall heavily muscled teen, pushed his way through the crowd to the apprentice?s side.

?Where you goin boy? Where?s yer keeper?? He stopped in front of the Jedi. Plunging his hand forward, he rammed it into the student?s chest halting his step.

The padawan neither spoke nor pushed back. He met the angry gaze with the sereneness of his own. Stepping back, he once again stepped around the group and proceeded on his way. He prayed to the Force that they would leave, that his mission to the embassy on the other side of town would be an easy course to travel.

He mentally smiled at his own arrogance of thinking a Jedi could walk an unproblematic path. This brief distraction of thought caused his senses to be unprepared when the gang?s leader rammed into him from behind, the force of the blow sending them both sprawling to the ground.

The teen enclosed the Jedi?s neck with his arm, slowly cutting the air supply from the boy?s lungs. ?Where is it, scum?? the boy muttered, his teeth slightly clenched. His survival instincts kicking in, the padawan called upon the force to overturn the boy. Slowly rising from the ground he kept his attacker within his sight. ?Where?s what?? he replied nonchalantly. The Force screamed out a warning a split second before a blaster shot slid past his ear, nicking the edge. ?The treaty Jedi! I came for the treaty?!? The boy snarled. Obi-Wan turned quickly toward the threat, his left hand protectively probing his injury. His light saber flew from his utility belt and into his hand. Tripping the switch, a blue blade sprang to life. ?Then you came for nothing,? he quietly answered. The hum could be heard through the silence, the echo reaching far down the corridor from which they came. Raising his saber, he took a defensive stance. Taking that as a challenge, the leader took out his blaster, his ranks following suit. One by one they fired until it became a simultaneous effort. The padawan moved quickly, striking down the white blue lines of energy as they erupted from their foundations. Closing his eyes, he gave himself completely to the Force.

The shots soon died down as the members of the group began to disperse. The display they witnessed, one against fifteen, and the faulty information they had received, had changed their minds as to how easy a target this Jedi pup would be. If the ambassador wanted the treaty as to keep it from being signed by the eleventh hour, then he could take it

 

Oh that was great! Poor Obi... how sweet! Ahhh the love there is juz wonderful!

 

That was SO beautiful! Lovely, lovely, lovely! I don't know what else to say.

 

Oh Bek, that was lovely. Poor Obi-Wan to have to go through that. And Qui-Gon so gentle with him. The last line was just right. Wonderful!

 

That was really good!