Before The Reason. (Qui/Obi songfic vignette. ) *Complete*

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Glenstorm, Jun 1, 2007.

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  1. Glenstorm Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2006
    star 1
    Title: The Reason.
    Author: Glenstorm
    Summary: Qui-Gon reflects.
    Disclaimers: Don?t own them and, unless there comes some miracle from the Force, I never will either. :D Nor do I own the wonderful JA books, I?m just borrowing some moments in time and giving them a slight tweak to fit my purposes. I promise to put them back as I found them when I?m done.

    You can blame this on a psalm of inspiration I had whilst listening to a friend?s CD. I don?t know who owns the song but again it?s not me. The words just struck me in such a way that I had to write a story, so I borrowed the lyrics and the song title and wrote this in one night. [face_tired] [face_coffee] falls over with exhaustion.

    p.s. I?ve only ever heard this song a handful of times so forgive me if the lyrics aren?t quite right. [face_praying]

    Note: --text-- = flashbacks. //text// = talk over Master/Padawan bond.


    ***

    The blood red blade singed through the air. Its deadly song stuttered and paused as it found its target, burning hungrily through skin, muscle and bone.

    Qui-Gon staggered as the blade entered him, fighting the shock of that fatal impact.

    ?Noooooooo!!!!?

    The pain of Obi-Wan?s scream ripped through him, a blade as solid as the demonic Sith Lord?s and twice as sharp. I?m sorry, Obi-Wan. And suddenly he meant for so much more than just this moment.

    He took a slight step back as the Sith withdrew his weapon, a great weariness falling over his limbs. He could see Obi-Wan?s anguished face staring on through the laser wall that trapped him, and he saw in that grief all the love that Obi-Wan had ever held for him. And it hurt. To be loved so despite everything he had ever done.

    Oh, Obi-Wan. How could I have learned so much and yet so little.

    Qui-Gon?s knees began to buckle. No! Not now! he cried silently. There was so much he had left to say. So much he had to ask forgiveness for?

    I?ll never take another Padawan?

    Master Jinn, I?ll be thirteen in four weeks. You are my last hope?

    Better not to train a boy if he has so much anger?

    Better not to train?


    His knees hit the floor. //Obi-Wan. . . //

    No Obi-Wan. I am used to betrayal. I know exactly what it looks like. . .

    You can be so dramatic sometimes, Qui-Gon. Obi-Wan is just a boy who made a mistake?


    //Padawan.//

    I take Anakin as my Padawan Learner?

    I take? I take Anakin?


    My Obi-Wan. My reason. I?m sorry.

    I?m sorry.

    Cold metal rushed up to greet him and then Qui-Gon knew little else. . .


    ***


    I'm not a perfect person
    There's many things I wish I didn't do
    But I continue learning
    I never meant to do those things to you
    And so I have to say before I go
    That I just want you to know

    I've found a reason for me
    To change who I used to be
    A reason to start over new
    And the reason is You. . .




    ***

    -- Qui-Gon Jinn looked out of the window at the city below feeling the exhaustion of the past few days thud through his tall frame. But it had been worth it. Bandomeer had been saved from the clutches of his former apprentice and Offworld?s plans had been destroyed.

    And it was all down to the twelve-year-old boy standing quietly beside him. Qui-Gon and countless others owed him their very lives.

    Qui-Gon shifted his gaze to find the silent face of Obi-Wan Kenobi, feeling as he did something long shut out stir in his heart. This boy had been ready to sacrifice everything for him, even after all he had said and done, and in doing so had taught him an important lesson. The past was past. And now all he could do was learn from it and look to the future. The shadows across his heart cast by Xanatos? betrayal were not permanent.

    Obi-Wan could lift them. If only he let him.

    The light would always defeat the darkness.

    It was time to grow.

    ?Yoda has a new mission for us, Padawan,? he said finally.

    Obi-Wan?s looked up at him, sea-green eyes meeting cobalt blue and Qui-Gon?s heart twisted as he saw it all the
  2. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    WOW that was beautiful with a big B@};-
    How you captured Qui-Gon's last feelings great=D=
  3. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    Sheer perfection...absolutely brilliant and touching...I crouch at your feet and wish I could write like this. [face_love]


    Qui-Gon shifted his gaze to find Obi-Wan, feeling something long shut out stir in his heart. This boy had been ready to sacrifice everything for him, even after all he had said and done, and in doing so had taught him an important lesson. The past was past. And now all he could do was learn from it and look to the future. The shadows across his heart cast by Xanatos? betrayal were not permanent.

    Obi-Wan could lift them. If only he let him.

    The light would always defeat the darkness.

    It was time to grow.

    ?Yoda has a new mission for us, Padawan,? he said finally.

    Obi-Wan?s looked up at him, sea-green eyes meeting cobalt blue. Qui-Gon?s heart twisted as he saw it all there in Obi-Wan?s young face--all the defeat and pain, the dashed hopes of the past weeks, all swirling behind those clear eyes. How he longed to take it all back, to ask forgiveness for the mistakes of his stubborn heart. A heart that still had so much to learn, it seemed.

    ?Padawan?? Obi-Wan whispered, as if he couldn?t quite let himself believe it. And Qui-Gon wished he could take that uncertainty away, too.

    ?Yes, Obi-Wan,? he said and let the ice that had encased him for so long melt from his face, changing his expression into one of gentle kindness. ?You would have given your life for me down in those mines, and in doing so taught me something very important??

    Qui-Gon turned to face him fully now, locking eyes and putting all his heartfelt sincerity into his gaze. ?I would be honoured to accept you as my Padawan, Obi-Wan Kenobi,? he said. ?That is, if you still want me as your Master.? Fool that I am.

    The boy?s eyes shimmered with tears of sudden, unparalleled joy and it took him a moment to form the soft words.

    Qui-Gon waited, counting the seconds, until: ?I gladly accept you as my Master, Qui-Gon Jinn.?


    AWWW. You've grabbed my heart right there.

    Maybe there was no more to say. Qui-Gon moved across the cell to sit at Obi-Wan?s side. Bringing to mind Tahl?s gentle lesson on how something that had once been broken could be made again into something far more beautiful, he slowly reached out an arm to pull the boy to his side.

    Obi-Wan froze, surprise showing clearly on his face. Qui-Gon had never been a demonstrative man and this sudden closeness revealed to the boy something he had barely known in his Master before.

    Complete trust, unconditional love and final, total acceptance.

    Yes, my Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon thought, though their bond wasn?t yet repaired enough for Obi-Wan to hear. I?m finally learning.

    Obi-Wan smiled slowly, perhaps reading something in his eyes, then relaxed and dared to move closer, curling slightly into the warmth that his Master offered, resting his head on the broad chest with a final acceptance of his own.
    [face_love]

    The past is behind them; they are now the team we learned to love.


    How could he have expected Obi-Wan to believe himself ready for his Trails when his own Master had never even given any indication that he was until now?

    Hadn?t he just told him right before that cursed Council meeting that he still had much to learn?

    Hadn?t Obi-Wan had to fight for his acceptance all those years ago. Qui-Gon had feared it, had tried to heal those past hurts but it seemed that, deep down, the initial rejections had left their mark.

    Now he added on top of all that: I take Anakin as my Padawan Learner?

    Qui-Gon closed his eyes as the extent of his blindness hit him full in the face.

    Oh, Obi-Wan, you do have such a fool for a Master.


    He realized, at least, and yes, he hurt Obi-Wan unintentionally. He would have made it right, had he lived.

    A slight smile touched Qui-Gon?s lips. Pride swelled within his ruined chest. Obi-wan? Lifting two once strong fingers he caressed Obi-Wan?s cheek, letting all the l
  4. VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2004
    star 8
    Absolutely stunning. :eek: I don't know what else to say.


    The Jedi knelt together upon the floor of the cold cell in which Xanatos had imprisoned them. The frigid air of the Telosian night seeped through their single, out of reach window, causing them both no small amount of discomfort.

    ?Sorry?? Obi-Wan sounded surprised by the words.

    ?You shouldn?t be here, facing death with me. I should not have let you come.?

    ?It was my decision to make, Qui-Gon, and I?m not sorry.?

    Qui-Gon smiled grimly. ?Even though you are cold and hungry??

    ?I am where I should be,? Obi-Wan stated softly. ?By your side.?

    Qui-Gon swallowed and closed his eyes, for the moment overcome. This boy. This beloved boy. How could he have wronged him so, yet again.

    You?re so dramatic sometimes, Qui-Gon, Tahl?s voice floated down through his thoughts. Obi-Wan is just a boy who made a mistake. . .

    Once again his stubborn heart had blinded him to something he should have seen all along. When would he finally learn to not take everything so personally.


    Gorgeous, a true masterpiece. =D=
  5. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Beautifully done. I especially liked the beginning.

    The blood red blade singed through the air. Its deadly song stuttered and paused as it found its target, burning hungrily through skin, muscle and bone.

    Qui-Gon staggered as the blade entered him, fighting the shock of that fatal impact.

    ?Noooooooo!!!!?

    The pain of Obi-Wan?s scream ripped through him, a blade as solid as the demonic Sith Lord?s and twice as sharp. I?m sorry, Obi-Wan. And suddenly he meant for so much more than just this moment.


    Great descriptions of how it must have felt to Qui-Gon at that point.

    Loved the little vignettes that told of their life together. How it must have hurt Obi-Wan with the final battle and Qui's last words but in the end Obi would know the truth.

    Great job. Loved it.
  6. Maeti Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    May 17, 2007
    =D=@};-[face_love]Beautiful! Lovely to weave vigs of life through a song. =D=
  7. Tahi Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2002
    star 5
    Beautifully written piece. :) I loved the way you structured it with the journey back through the various crisis points in the relationship between the two. I think the thingthat came through to me strongly was the overwhelming humanity you imbued Qui-Gon with, which really touched me.

    Maybe there was no more to say. Qui-Gon moved across the cell to sit at Obi-Wan?s side. Bringing to mind Tahl?s gentle lesson on how something that had once been broken could be made again into something far more beautiful, he slowly reached out an arm to pull the boy to his side.

    Obi-Wan froze, surprise showing clearly on his face. Qui-Gon had never been a demonstrative man and this sudden closeness revealed to the boy something he had barely known in his Master before.

    Complete trust, unconditional love and final, total acceptance.

    Yes, my Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon thought, though their bond wasn?t yet repaired enough for Obi-Wan to hear. I?m finally learning.

    Obi-Wan smiled slowly, perhaps reading something in his eyes, then relaxed and dared to move closer, curling slightly into the warmth that his Master offered, resting his head on the broad chest with a final acceptance of his own.

    Qui-Gon tightened his hold and sighed into the reddish hair now tucked beneath his chin, finding once more in Obi-Wan a reason to reopen his injured heart. And this time he would do it without a doubt or reserve.

    I absolutely loved that scene. It showed so well how oldies can learn from younglings if they just open their hearts and forget their pride. Wonderful.

    I think Qui-Gon's failings are what make him so endearing, especially as he realises he has them. :) And Obi's endless capacity to absorb hurt and rejection and still maintain his belief comes through very strongly. You did a wonderful job of capturing the essence of both men. :)

    Loved the song choice too - it's by Hoobastank I believe.

  8. ratna Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2007
    star 4
    ooooooooooooooooh

    that was simply exquisite

    beautiful emotion

    beautiful fit for the song (one of my favorites btw)

    :_| @};-
  9. Fifilla Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2006
    star 3
    Wow!!!
    So sad and beautiful!!! :_| Just perfect!
    =D= =D= =D=
  10. ROTSFan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 25, 2006
    star 4
    It was a good fit for the song, and a good depth you brought to the Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon relationship. It always appeared in the movies that they weren't as close (as in this vignette) and that Qui-Gon's rebelliousness may have actually been a little frustrating to Obi-Wan's sensibilities. Very unique too that Qui-Gon loved Obi-Wan like a son, had special places in his heart for him and Anakin, and left Anakin behind as a "reason" for him to go on.

    =D=
  11. Glenstorm Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2006
    star 1
    earlybird-obi-wan: Thank-you. @};-


    Valary_Scot: [face_blush] [face_blush] Rise, my friend. I?ve read your stories!!! [face_blush] [face_blush]


    VaderLVR64: [:D] You don?t need to say any more. "A true masterpiece" :eek: [face_blush] Thank-you so much! [:D]


    Dianethx: Thank-you. @};-


    Maeti: Thanks! I really like songfics, I feel that the added verses can give a real weight and depth to a story. And this one just seemed to strike me as a perfect backdrop to all the rough patches throughout Obi and Qui's relationship. And, well, the rest, as they say, is history! :D


    Tahi: Yes, I think that?s my favourite scene as well. They may be Jedi, but they?re human too. That?s why we love 'em. [face_love] Thank-you for all your wonderful comments and for letting me know who made the song. Hoobastank, eh? :D


    ratna: Thank-you. [:D]


    Fifilla: [face_blush] @};-


    ROTAFan: I?m glad you liked it. I, too, felt that the closeness between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan was somewhat lacking in TPM, since it?s the reason I love reading the JA books and all these marvellous fics so much, to see that wonderful relationship develop. But, having said that, there must have been something there in the film to spark our (and Jude Watson?s) imaginations in the first place. :D [:D]


    Thanks again, everyone! [face_peace]



  12. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Such a nice melding of the different thoughtful moments in Qui-Gon's life with Obi-Wan. :) And beginning and ending with the saddest, most intense momemt between them of all. Qui-Gon is so uncertain and wants to do better with Obi-Wan so much in the middle flashbacks that it's satisfying that he finds that bit of peace at the end.
  13. JediMaster_Jen Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2002
    star 4
    Wonderful look into Qui-Gon's feelings there at the end. =D=
  14. Luminara_Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Sep 6, 2006
    star 2
    :_| :_| Oh, no. There I go again. Tender moments between Qui and Obi seem to do that to me...oh, well! I loved this fic! Such insight into Qui-Gon's thoughts during TPM--I really hope that's what they were...without the thought processes behind them, as you've so skillfully woven in, Qui comes across as fairly cold towards Obi-Wan. This makes it all flow much better. I loved the tie-in at the end with Qui asking Obi to train Anakin in hopes that it will help him continue on...it did, I guess, but :_| that it wasn't 'all okay'...Anyway, lovely fic. Wonderfully done interactions. @};-
  15. jedidas3 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 25, 2007
    star 3
    This was absolutely beautiful!=D= =D=
    You captured the relationship between Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan so perfectly.

    With a sigh, Qui-Gon leaned down and, as he had done many times when Obi-Wan was young, he brushed a light kiss to the sleeping brow before retrieving the wayward limb and tucking the covers more securely about him. Then he retreated to his own bunk and settled down for sleep.

    No, he would never be faultless. But if there was ever a motive for him to continue trying to do better, to be more than he was before, Obi-Wan was his reason.--
    :_|

    I loved this part!

    Great job with this fic...I truly enjoyed it!
  16. Glenstorm Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2006
    star 1
    ardavenport: Thank-you @};- All the pieces just seemed to fall into place with this one. It made it a joy to write. I'm so glad you enjoyed reading it. :)

    JediMaster_Jen: [:D] and thank-you.

    Luminara_Kenobi: [face_blush] I do hope that was what he was thinking as well. But after watching the way he brushes Obi-Wan's cheek at the end, there's a good chance that it was what he was thinking. We can hope. [face_praying]

    jedidas3: Thank-you. I'm really glad that you liked it. Receiving replies like this keeps me fed and watered on the writing bug. :D @};-

    Thanks again to all, you continue to make writing stories a joy for me. [:D]


  17. Glenstorm Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2006
    star 1
    I give a great big thank-you to all who nominated this story for the FFA. [:D] I can't tell you how over the moon I was to see it there.

    But unfortunately it was posted on June 1 not May 31 :oops: and has now been removed from the thread. Sorry! :_|

    Anyway, as I've said on the thread, never mind. Just please, please keep me in mind for next time and I'll be happy! [face_batting]

    But right now I'm going off for a nice hot chocolate to cheer myself up. :(
  18. Ganki Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2002
    star 3
    Oh my god that was just sad *tears up* Obi-wan is such a good padawan and I am glad that Qui-Gon realized his mistakes and such.

    Very good fic and it deserves its nominations ^__^
  19. ClaudiaR Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2007
    star 1
    That... was so sad...
    I wasnted to cry...
    it was bautifull and very touching
  20. Glenstorm Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2006
    star 1
    Ganki Thank-you! 'and it deserved it's nominations' Aww, that means a lot. It was sad but only fair that it was removed from the running. There's always a next time! :)

    ClaudiaR Thank-you. I'm really glad you liked it!
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