Before - Legends The Redemption of Bruck Chun (JA-AU, Qui/Obi, Bruck/OC) [Part 2.2 - 04/26/03]

Title: The Redemption of Bruck Chun

Author: fortytwo03

Timeframe: early JA - AU

Characters: Bruck Chun, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn, and an OC (Taren Halcyon)

Summary: Shortly after the events in JA 1, Bruck Chun is chosen as an apprentice by Qui-Gon's first padawan, Master Taren Halcyon, who struggles to keep him from turning to the Dark Side.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Author's Notes: I've been lurking on the JC boards for a few months now, and in the process managed to become a die-hard Obi-fan. All those who hurt him (with the exception of all the Obi-torture writers ) must either end up dead or wallowing in guilt. So why is it then that I'm writing a fic focusing on the redemption! of one of the most hated characters of the JA books?

Well, I've noticed that most Obi-villains are not universally reviled. Qui-Gon, Anakin, Xanatos - all of them have appeared in some Obi-centric stories in a favorable light. However, thus far I haven't seen any stories where Bruck Chun has any redeeming qualities - he's merely Obi's nasty/evil/bullying nemesis whom we all want to get his comeuppence, preferably as painfully as possible. While I began as ardent a Bruck-basher as any, it has begun to seem unfair that Bruck has no one to champion his character; even Xanatos, who has no redeeming characteristics whatsoever in the JA books(aside from being hot, of course ), has his loyal supporters in the fan fiction world.

So, as a result, I've decided to try to make Bruck's character a little less reviled. Probably a hopeless cause, since so many love to hate him , but I'll give it a good go anyway. The plan (admittedly ambitious, especially since this is my very first story, and I have no clue whatsoever if I can write fiction), is to show that Bruck Chun's character, as initially portrayed in JA 1 (complete with the tendencies that allowed Xanatos to corrupt him), can be redeemed, and become a true Jedi. (I can see all the incredulous expressions now: "Bruck Chun? A true Jedi?!? <hysterical laughter> Oh that's a good one! And what's next, Palpatine - a genuine humanitarian? <more hysterical laughter>")

(And yes, I am well aware that it does bespeak a certain amount of obsessiveness to care whether a fictional character is being treated fairly - but I've never aspired to normality anyway )

At any rate, after the practically novel-length A/N , onwards to the story!


italics = thoughts
//italics// = bond thoughts


~*~
The Redemption of Bruck Chun

Part One
~*~

Eleven-year-old Bruck Chun was walking swiftly through the Temple, struggling to appear outwardly serene, as befitted a Jedi initiate. This task, normally second nature to him, had turned into quite the challenge due to his raging emotions.

Today certainly sucked. Not only did we have a pop quiz in the only class I hadn't had a chance to prepare for, but the Sithly master decided to go with the ol' "switch and grade your neighbor's paper" method. Now usually I don't mind it so much, as it allows everyone to know how smart I am without the crassness of me bragging. Win-win proposition. But today. . . well, I'm sure the entire class is laughing behind my back. Damn, I hate looking like a fool.

Bruck paused in his ruminations to nod a greeting at Master Plo Koon, who smiled in return. Overall Bruck was rather well-liked around the Temple. He excelled in his classes, was polite to all the knights and masters, and generally appeared to be the ideal Jedi student.

Well, let's try to look on the bright side - Jedi are supposed to be optimistic, you know. The Force will provide if we just trust it and all that. Ok, grade-wise it IS just one quiz, it shouldn't hurt too much. As for the public humiliation aspect. . . afraid I'm not seeing a silver lining here. Not a clue how even the Force can fix this one. Damn it, I've worked so hard trying to be considered the best initiate, it bu

 

I loved it!






. . .

This is fantastic. You're absolutely right that Bruck often seems to be the one dark character (well, 'cept Palpatine, but he's not in the JA!) that is rarely, if ever, liked in fanfiction. I think it may be because a reason is never given for his actions. Xanatos, after all, had his father's death.

Anyway - I should talk about the actual story, yes? Very good so far. I liked how you have his progression of thoughts, and what he was thinking and planning during the Oafy-Wan scene. It presents him as more of a well-rounded (if still not particularly likable) character.

So - good job. *says in non-Obi-sarcasm way*

 

My fic 'Jedi Uprising' has Bruck in it. Bruck a negotiator? wow that is interesting. hehehe.
Bruck siding with Garen? Bruck asking for Obi-Wan's help? Bruck is Xanatos apprentice? wow, ok enough talk of my story.

Anyway this is a good story so far. Keep it up.

 

I thought it was very well-done. The dialog was smooth, the descriptions just right and I loved how you gave us Bruck's perceptions of his life, his rivalries and his need to hide his anger. In that regard, he is more clever than Obi-Wan (as seen in JA 1).

I also liked how you were able to describe why Bruck called Obi Oafy-Wan. Very good.

Am looking forward to the next post.

 

Hey, A little shameless promotion from fortytwo03's biggest fan. I am completely new to fanfic, so my thoughts probably won't mean much as far as the writing goes, but I think she is off to a good start. I have absolutely no experience with the actual Bruck Chun, but I can already see the animosity. I too liked how the inner dialogue is played out.

 

Wow! I've got reviews!! Favorable ones, no less . Its amazing how such a little thing can really brighten your day.

obaona: My very first review ever! It's such a nice one too! And to top it off its from one of my favorite authors! I loved Tainted Child, and am eagerly awaiting the next installment of The Water's Edge (and I must say, that was an amazingly well-written April Fool's post - I definitely fell for it).

Yeah, ol' Palpy's not all that well liked either, but he seems to me to be a bit more respected than Bruck. He may be evil, but he's at least he's competently evil. As well, he has the prestige of being the head bad guy in the SW universe. Comparatively, poor Bruck comes off as the diet Coke of evil - just one calorie, not evil enough (I couldn't resist ).

jacen200015: Thanks so much for your nice comments . It sounds like your story showcases a decidedly different side of Bruck (he definitely is in need of some good press ) - I'll be sure to check it out.

dianethx: Such high praise! - I hope I can keep the rest of story as good as this first post apparently was . Yeah, I was trying to find something slightly more sophisticated than, "You're such an oaf, Obi-Wan! Hey, I guess that would make you Oafy-Wan instead!"

Chemnitz: What a lovely comment, especially from such a perfect stranger . I'm glad you like it, but I bet you're the only one of my readers who would just as soon prefer that I didn't spend every waking minute on this story .

~*~

Sorry about the late response to the reviews - I had been planning to put them with the next post, but. . .yeah.

I'm sure you're wondering where exactly is the next post. I've been working hard on it, but the sucker keeps growing - its twice as long as the initial post, and shows no sign of stopping anytime soon.

I was going to break it into 2 posts, to get it up faster, but I seem to be stuck on the end of the first part - the second part is flowing much easier, so as a reward for having to wait so long, I will probably post the whole thing, assuming I get the 2nd half finished before the 1st half (which is looking likely at the moment).

I'm going to do my best to get a post up before midnight, barring any unforeseen complications.
"So let's just cross our fingers and hope for the best!"

 

Author's Notes: Ok, this isn't quite what I promised, but I thought it better than nothing. The post ballooned yet again - it is now 4x the length of post one, and it's still not done. Given the ever increasing length, I decided to go ahead and split the posts as originally planned - each is a hefty chunk on its own.

I've been focusing my efforts on the first half, so as to give you the promised post. After spending the afternoon and evening on it, I have most of it done. There's only one scene and a 2-3 paragraph bridge left to go. That's the good news.

However, the scene in question is near the beginning, and is one that I have been rather assiduously avoiding. While I think I can get it finished before midnight, I'm not certain, and so I decided to post the first part of the first half of the post (confused yet? ). It's not terribly long, but it stands alone fairly well, and gives ya'll something to read .

Rest assured that there is lots more to come - and soon! - as this is only one page of the eight pages (and counting!) that I already have written.


italics = thoughts
//italics// = bond thoughts


~*~
The Redemption of Bruck Chun

Part Two, First Section
~*~

Ever since the collision in the corridor, Bruck had utilized his newfound knowledge in an effort to increase his standing amongst the initiates - and no one was affected more than Obi-Wan Kenobi. His status as Bruck's chief rival made him an attractive target, and his quick temper ensured that he was the one blamed for any altercations. Obi-Wan was well aware of Bruck's machinations, and struggled to ignore his taunts; but despite his best efforts, he found himself incapable of remaining calm in the face of ridicule.

Hard to believe, but Kenobi's temper turned out to be worse than even I thought. Certainly doesn't take much to get him to lose control - just bump into him, make a few snide comments, then top it off with an offhand reference to "Oafy-Wan", and voila - one fighting mad Kenobi, just in time to be caught by the masters. You'd think he'd learn at some point, but there's been no evidence of it thus far.

At any rate, I certainly can't complain about the results. Kenobi's stock at the Temple has definitely fallen in the past year. In the masters' eyes his "uncontrollable anger" made him dangerous to train, and rendered all his other accomplishments moot. Obi-Wan's thirteenth birthday was a month away, and even with Yoda's steadfast support, the odds of him being chosen as a padawan were not high.

Especially considering that the only master who will be at the Temple in time is Qui-Gon Jinn. He's one of the best and most powerful knights of the Jedi Order - and apparently is very picky about his padawans. He's rejected so many of the top students already - there is no way he would choose some disgraced initiate, particularly one who's a mere step away from the Agri-Corps, over all of them.

No, Master Jinn will only accept the very best - and everyone knows it. Which is why I've got to convince him to pick me. No one would ever doubt my abilities if I were Qui-Gon Jinn's padawan. And I'd finally have the chance to get people to really notice me - something that my successes thus far aren't capable of. I mean, as satisfying as it was to beat Kenobi in the last lightsaber tournament, I somehow doubt that's the sort of thing that would cause the galaxy to sit up and take notice. But as Master Jinn's apprentice, I'd get to go on all sorts of dangerous, high profile missions - and accomplishments of that kind aren't easily forgotten.

Now, if it were any other master, I wouldn't be all that worried. After Kenobi's little fall from grace, there isn't another initiate anywhere close to me - I'm clearly the best available. But Qui-Gon Jinn isn't any other master, and the best available just might not be good enough. I'm going to have to really stand out - do something truly extraordinary - to have any chance of being cho

 

Don't leave me hanging!!!!! I may have to use my connections to get a sneak preview of the fight

Keep up the good work, still enjoying it so far =)

 

Erm . . . Thank you! I always love coming across readers of Tainted Child. It's just so cool! And you liked it - even better! The Water's Edge post will come with my co-writer is ungrounded. She messed up in her instructions as to how to get me the post ( ) but we won't go into that. And thank you! I spent longer on that April's Fools post than I had originally planned.

Anyway - onto the story! That, while depressingly short ( ) was a very good introduction to Bruck's thought processes. Sure, we got a glimpse before, but now we're seeing it in connection with the JA novels, making it all the more interesting, IMHO.

And next post (second part of post one? ) is Bruck and the Dark Side. It should be veeery interesting to see how Bruck either a) rationalizes it, or b) is horrified. And I really wonder when and how Bruck will be 'redeemed'. Can't wait!

And get writing, already. Seriously, best of luck. I know what it's like trying to write something.

 

Hi fortytwho03 - You're welcome but the praise was appropriate. I have been waiting - not so patiently - for you to post a second part and it finally arrived. Loved how you had Bruck ridicule Obi-Wan's temper and use it against him. The fact that Bruck had enough foresight to understand how to bring Obi-Wan down was a terrific setup!

I am very much looking forward to your next post. Don't worry. I'm sure it will be fine (I, too, have lots of problems with lightsaber fight descriptions). And I can totally understand how a simple post can balloon into 4 times its size (been there, done that...LOL).

Will be haunting the postings until it arrives....

 

looking good so far! I'll be watching for more.

 

Yea! More reviews

Chemnitz: Glad you still like it =), but even with your connections it would be a bit difficult to obtain something that hasn't been written yet

obaona: It's actually a combination of a) and b), though his reaction isn't really shown till the next post (the 2nd half of the monster post ). As for his redemption. . .well, he's still got dig himself in a little deeper before he can start trying to turn things around - otherwise, where's the challenge .

dianethx: Yeah, I thought Bruck deserved some brains for a change. Of course, it would be even better if he used them help others rather than himself. . .but hey, nobody's perfect . And thank you for the moral support =) - it helped me move from my increasingly pointless editing of the rest of post to finally bucking up and getting the scene written.

And as a side note, I read But. . . (when I really should have been working on this post, but it was a pleasant distraction ) - very well done, I enjoyed it immensely . The ending may have been sad, but it was perfect.

PaddyJuan: Another wonderful author - who has such a cool name too ! It's an honor to have such talented reviewers - I must be doing something right if people who can write so well think I'm doing a good job .

---

[b]Author's Notes:[/b] Tomorrow, 12 days - there's not much difference, right? Eh, maybe not. As you can see, I had a few difficulties. Every time I sat down to try to write the darn thing I ended up just editing what was already there. After a bit too much of that I had a bit of a confidence crisis - got to the point where I was convinced that scenes I had previously liked were horrible. So I decided to step back from it for a while before I scrapped the whole thing. Had my sister read over it to see if it was just me or if it really did suck (turned out to be just me, thankfully).

Stupid fight scenes - you have no idea how close I came to just saying to heck with it and having it consist of "They fought. And Bruck lost - twice." The only reason it ever got written at all was that I really rather liked how Bruck's little brush with the Dark Side turned out, and was eager to post it. But you have to post the beginning before you can post the end. . .

At any rate, here it is, the rest of Part Two - complete with the "spin move" reference just for Chemnitz :D.


[i]italics[/i] = thoughts
[i][b]italics[/b][/i] = voice of the dark
//[i]italics[/i]// = bond thoughts


~*~
[i][b]The Redemption of Bruck Chun[/b]

Part Two, Second Section[/i]
~*~

Once the go-ahead was given, Bruck immediately took the offensive. He had only a hazy image of his surroundings, but that was more than enough to make an accurate strike. Of course, his opponent had a similar sense of his environment, and was able to bring his lightsaber up in time to block the swing.

As they disengaged their blades, Bruck quickly struck again - he liked to take the initiative when he fought. However, it appeared that his unknown foe had the same preference, as he launched an attack of his own right after defending himself from Bruck's efforts.

Bruck just managed to fend off the furious assault, and back-flipped over some of the blocks serving as obstacles in order to put a bit of space between himself and the other student. [i]Ok, he is definitely more skilled than I was expecting. He seems to be able to read my intentions better than I can his - and he definitely has a faster reaction time. I'm not so sure I can win in a straight stand-up sort of fight - I'd best figure out some kind of strategy to even the odds a bit.[/i]

As he heard his opponent trip over a block, Bruck realized that, while his foe might be more skilled at actually [i]fighting[/i] blind, Bruck was better at sensing the general layout of the training room. [i]I should be able to trap him amongst the blocks, and finish him off while he is distracted by the obstacles.[/i]

Unfortunately, before Bruck was able to implement his idea, th

 

fortytwo03 -----SCRAP the whole thing!!!...are you kidding? No...no...no... hand waves in front of fortytwo03's face - you will listen to your sister...you will write more...you will finish this fic....
Twelve days isn't that long to wait (although I prefer every day!!). It takes me forever to write something and the post you just did would have taken me 2-3 weeks! Just finish it, though. It's too good to let die.


Actually, I did a little happy dance when I saw that this was up (and that's very hard to do sitting down). I loved the lightsaber fight. It was just right, not too detailed, not too sparse...you should write more fights. You do it well!!!

And Bruck's little discussion - first with himself and then with old bold type was wonderful. He was able to talk himself into doing something bad and then blaming Kenobi for it. Seen that a few too many times in real life! He did it so intellegently, too.

I am assuming old bold type is Xanatos???

You must continue this fic. I absolutely insist!! Needless to say, good job.


Just an aside. Glad you liked But and it was lovely of you to leave a comment on the Archive board as well as here. The sequel Betrayal, on the Saga board, is up and running. I can't do links for anything but it's on my signature below.

 

Very good post. eek gotta go.

 

Once again, I like =). Yes good work on the fight. Can't wait for the next one.

 

*hyperventilates* Scrap it?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! [/Luke]

Please don't do that. If you want to know if its bad or just you, you can always get, ahem, one of your readers to read it!!

Anyway . . . wonderful post. I loved your explanation of how Bruck loses control, how repressing them just makes them uncontrollable, eventually. It made such perfect sense, and actually, from the JQ books, Anakin kind of does the same thing (though its not exactly explained, just sort of implied). So I thought that was very interesting.

I also love how you keep to Bruck's thoughts and actions rather than reproducing the dialogue - it gives a new perspective on the book, I think. The fight scene was well-done - I know how difficult those can be to write, but you did admirably.

Post more? Please?

 

Upsy?

 

Wow, thanks for all the moral support =). Don't worry, I fully intend to see this thing through to the end. Not necessarily on anything even remotely resembling a regular posting schedule, and I have no idea how long it will end up being, but it will happen. Besides, should I get overly frustrated with it, I'm sure my soon-to-be husband (the wedding's in just over 6 weeks, I can't wait ), who's a loyal reader despite no previous exposure to fan fiction, will persuade me to keep at it.

dianethx: On average, it takes me about 5 hours to write and thoroughly edit (i.e. get post-ready) 1,000 words. That's about as much as I can do at one sitting. Of course, I am completely incapable of writing an entire post in order - I continually jump around, focusing on whichever part I am most inspired on at any given moment. So it can take a few sessions before I actually have a coherent post written.

Glad you liked the fight - once I finally forced myself sit down and write it, it actually came fairly easily, and I was happy with the result. Still not certain what caused all the trouble in the first place - some sort of weird mental block, I guess. And yes, Xanatos gave Bruck a little helping hand - wasn't that nice of him?

I haven't had a chance to check out Betrayal yet (or much of anything else - the past few weeks have really sucked), but now that the semester is finally over, I definitely plan to.

Jacen200015: Thanks - I can certainly understand having a lack of time - evil DRL!

Chemnitz: Glad you liked - hope you appreciated the "spin move" reference .

obaona: Haven't read the JQ books, but I've noticed the same sort of cumulative effect from my method of dealing with problems - ignore them till they go away or blow up in your face . It's about as effective as Bruck's anger management techniques in the long run - makes the whole thing much worse than if you had just dealt with them in the first place. As poor Bruck just found out .

As a huge Harry Potter fan, I've read all sorts of fan fiction, and I've always liked fics that portray the Shrieking Shack scene in PoA (my most favorite scene in all 4 books - and if you haven't read the HP books, you simply MUST drop everything and go get them right now ) from alternate viewpoints. I've noticed that the best ones tend to duplicate a minimum of the dialogue, and focus more on the character's thoughts/feelings - too much straight from the source material, and it seems like a mere retelling of the book itself. So that's my motivation - glad you appreciate the results!

And thanks for the up!

---

[b]A/N:[/b] While I haven't particularly plotted out the story, I did try to work out the dates of important events for the backstory (birthdates and the like). I am rather obsessive about being accurate and internally consistent, hence putting it all together in a timeline. I may be unique in this, but the ages of characters in stories, along with where it fits within the universe's chronology, is rather important to me. When reading fan fiction I invariably try to determine all these things, and it gets rather frustrating when it isn't obvious (or worse, inconsistent). Therefore, I'm posting up the timeline for my story, on the off chance that anyone reading it is as anal as I am :).


~*~
[i][b]The Redemption of Bruck Chun[/b]

Timeline[/i]
~*~

The dates are given in years before A New Hope (b.ANH). For reference, TPM takes place 32 years before ANH.


[i]102b.ANH:[/i] Qui-Gon Jinn is born
[i]91 b.ANH:[/i] Qui-Gon is apprenticed to Yoda @ age 11
[i]86 b.ANH:[/i] Taren Halcyon is born
[i]78 b.ANH:[/i] Qui-Gon is knighted @ age 24 (13 year apprenticeship)
[i]74 b.ANH:[/i] Qui-Gon (age 28) takes Taren (age 12) as his first padawan
[i]70 b.ANH:[/i] Xanatos deCrion is born
[i]61 b.ANH:[/i] Taren is knighted @ age 25 (13 year apprenticeship, Qui-Gon is 41)
[i]60 b.ANH:[/i] Qui-Gon (age 42) takes Xanatos (age 10) as his second padawan
[i]58 b.ANH:[/i]

 

Well, it wasn't a "real" post in that it didn't involve a story but it was quite interesting to read. I also had to figure out the timelines for Qui-Gon and his Padawans and while mine was different from yours, it works!! Yes, Obi-Wan is 25 at the end of TPM.

As for Darth School kicking butt, hey, real life always kicks butt...believe me! Posting will come when it comes. I'm just very glad that you aren't dropping it. So many good fics get started and then fade away to nothing. DO NOT LET THAT HAPPEN HERE!!!

As for staying up and writing, there was a thread on the writer's resource board about that. Almost everyone has the same response - they get tired and that's when the writing gets fast, furious and good. Must be the muses are night owls or something!


Congrats on the wedding. Just remember that spouses take a great deal of work (on both sides)! And it won't be easy but just be as persistant as Qui-Gon and you should be okay. You might want to read one of those books of language differences between men and women (Deborah Tannen's book is better than John Gray's Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus). It helped me a lot and I've been married forever.

Good luck and hope to see a story post soon...

 

UP!

We need more post.

Congagulations on the wedding.

 

UP!!

 

Ohh... There's another one like this.... *face falls*

But it's a really good one!!

*giggles*

Seems us Bruck writers all seem to have mostly the same idea for why he acts like he does....

Eh' oh well. Bravo!!

Any chance more posties'll be coming? ?

 

UPO