Before The Revenant of Darth Draevus

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by DarthDraevus, Aug 23, 2011.

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  1. DarthDraevus Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Aug 23, 2011
    123 years after The Fall of the First Galactic Empire
    Near The Galactic Core


    This close to the Galactic Core, hyperspace lanes were unreliable at best, fatally unstable at their worst; therefore Corellian Captain Jass Knepp and his bio-droid pilot, Rufon, considered themselves lucky to even find the legendary Zhon system, let alone get there in less than a standard year. Both sat with anticipation in their seats of the bridge of the Interstellar Freighter they called ?Red Lady? due to the red glow that her antiquated ion thrusters made anytime she had to dock or maneuver in close proximity to any other object. Though she may have been old and slow, Red Lady was surely reliable and could hold plenty of cargo in her massive hull. She had served them both well for many a run through many a parsec of space and her computer systems were as modernized as they got anywhere in the Galaxy.
    Jass switched the sublights to deceleration as they entered the orbit of the blue giant?s gravity well and began to scan the system. He didn?t need to tell his chromium plated first mate what to do next. Rufon used the direct link interface that he shared with the ship?s nav-comp to initiate a system scan and begin the search for what had brought them this far into space.
    ?Just as charted, Cap,? Rufon?s speaker chirped in a replication of the croaking sound the amphibious humanoid?s vocal cords had made before a freighter collision decades before charred everything but his basic central nervous system. Now what what was left of his biomass floated in a synthmesh sac under a thick durasteel chest case. Though half of his natural size at only one meter and eighty kilos Rufon had retained his basic humanoid shape after that long ago tragedy, but still even Rufon?s hearing and vision was artificial, not to mention the complete loss of the sonar capabilities native to his species, which sometimes altered his depth perception and made him comically clumsy. Even after spending most of his life as a bio-droid even simple tasks like operating ship board controls would have been challenging for him if not for the interface which literally made him one with the ship.?Five glorified asteroids for planets inside and two gas giants on the outs. I?m picking up a massive debris field orbiting the smaller of the two gas giants.?
    ?Bingo!? Jass smiled, exposing his spice yellowed plastisteel dental work and clapping his first mate on the metal of the bio-droid?s nearest mechanical arm. ?Let?s get this party started! Bring her around, Roof.?
    The captain hadn?t even finished his sentence before the ion thrusters outside the viewports lit the hull up red and the star field began to twist as the Red Lady came around and began to decelerate toward the debris ringed planet.
    ?Three point five one standard days out, sir,? Rufus said somberly and tried to shake his head slowly from side to side which resulted in only a tipsy wobble. ?That?s the problem with not using hyper space lanes. Takes long enough to get where you?re going then when you get there it takes even longer to slow down.?
    ?True enough, old buddy, but that gives us plenty of time to plot a hyper space jump out of here straight to Corsucant once we?ve filled up the Lady.? Jass rubbed the grey stubble on his chin as he contemplated the profits and how well this trip would pay off. If the story of Darth Draevus was true then there would be plenty of antique hardware and weaponry free for the taking. Maybe even some Sith relics they could move on the black market for some extra credits. ?Roof, go ahead and scan for any gamma ray signature.?
    ?Already have and that?s a big yep, sir.? The frog-like face holo that projected from the front of Rufon?s ?head? widened and stretched into his specie?s version of a smile.
    ?Nice, I knew it was true, dammit!?
    Back on the last spice run the Lady had made to Arbitronia, Jass had picked up a few of Sith artifacts for his private collection back on Dantooine. One of those items was a flimsiplast spy report addressed to the ancient Sith empire and dated about 1500 years prio
  2. Raxacoricofallapatorius Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 2010
    star 1
    I really like this! =D= It's very intriguing and I can't wait to see what happens next. Please post some more soon?

    Also, could I make a suggestion? The large block of text is a little intimidating and makes it more difficult to read. Possibly separate your paragraphs with a space in between? (Like my two paragraphs in this comment)

    But other than that, awesome! [face_dancing]
  3. aalagartassle Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 11, 2011
    star 4
    good work, keep it up. I like the beginning of the story and hope there is more to come, add me to PM.
    Just a thought, like me you need to edit, spelling or mistyped words, yes it's time consuming but ends up a better read.
    Enough of that codswallop! Great charcter portrayal with depth, good interaction between characters and of course excellent imagination.
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