The Rewrites - - (humor)-My first fanfic

These are rewrites of scenes in the Star Wars Saga. Funny rewrites I might add. Please PLEASE PLEASE give me feed back.

Scene 1...Well, it was so bad, I decided to take it out and rewrite my Rewrite! I am so glad poeple commented on it.





[Edit: Locking this because I've rewritten it]

 

O.K. I know! The humor is really bland (and stupid), but that's all I could think of right now. It will get better, I promis you.

[Edit: I removed the scene, so pretend you havn't seen it yet!]

 

Please understand everyone (is anyone here) that I was sitting at the computer, logged on to the JC when the idea hit me. I did this with no planning, just what came to my head. Next time I will do more planning...I hope!

[Edti: Disregard this post! It hasn't come out yet.]

 

I'm gonna up this till somebody comments on it! UP UP UP UP UP UP UP

 

Hi George!



*ahem*


*shuffle*


Umm...that was...sort of eh...interesting-hehe...umm....

Maybe a little tip.

Don't try writing pure humour until you have practiced writing a lot. When you get better at writing, then you can write a story with humour in it, like the one that I'm posting on with Ani and Nat. But pure humour is ex-treeeemly hard to write and it needs a lot of practice. If you have never written before, then try starting with a description of something. Take a scene from a movie or even an EU event and just describe things that you might not have noticed in the movie-the characters feelings and stuff like that. This will give you a good feel about how characters think, which is basically the key to writing a good story. You have some....unique ideas here, but they just need some more developing.



Bellyup knows all....

 

Pretty good idea, but like belly said, you just need practice, I can't say I am a great author, but you will get better after the first couple stories.

And if nobody replies, write it anyways, but don't post it, they don't deserve to read it if they won't.

My suggestion for humor, is start the scene off slower, make it more like the movie, and then after a little while have the emperor turn around in his chair and be wearing the clown outfit. It's more funy when it's surprising. And when vader ignites his lightsaber, have it not work, so he has to beat the emp with a balloon sword(always funny). All you really need is filler material to go in beween the punchlines, that way it's more a story than just a series of humorous events.

~Isildur

PS: Keep writing, you have great ideas, but you need work on your writing style. The best advice I can give you, is find another author you like, and have him/her teach you more about writing. It can work wonders on your style.

 

Thank you soooo much. I like criticizem! I helps me. Both of you are very right. The more I thought about it, the more I relized that.

 

I agree with the above. And post the story if you want reviews. (I came to read teh story, but there is nothing here.) I'd give you more advice, but I don't usually write humor, and when I do, it's more witty humor, not always glaringly obvious, which is what I think you are going for. If you want, I can help you beta before you post. I'm not the best for the job but you would get a second opinion...