Saga The River (quickie Padme vignette, post-EP3, writing exercise -- Cover art added!)

The River

Summary: Padme?s thoughts on her path to the afterlife.
Genre: Angst, drama, vignette.
Keywords: Padme Skywalker, Post-EP3.
Author?s Notes: Yes, wow - my first story in forever! Don?t get your hopes up, though. This is only an unbetaed writing exercise. I need to get myself back into shape before I try my hand at bigger things. I usually don?t write vignettes this quickly, but everything just poured out. There are probably lapses in continuity, but I?m proud that I was able to achieve something! Thanks for reading! Feedback is definitely welcome!


--

I see it in my dreams. The river. The river that has come to wash me away.

I was so blind before. The river never represented my tears, never existed to remind me of my loss and heartache. The river could never be called a passing figment of my imagination. It was real, if only within my dreamscape.

It is wrongly said that Jedi do not dream. Once I would have believed that fable, but from personal experience, I recognise the thin skin of a lie. Anakin dreamt. He shivered and uttered words of a terrible nightmare ? one that would curl the blood of any living being. When he awoke, I cradled him in my slender arms, stroked his hair, and whispered all the possible reassurances that managed to slip past my lips.

Now, I dream. I do not dream of Jedi or of destiny. I do not even fantasise about fate. Instead, I dream of restoration. The blessed river comes to me, and for once in?forever, I am not afraid. The river will cleanse me of my past mistakes and fulfil those forgotten promises ? the ones whispered to me by the injured, the poor, and the fearful. It will restore my name and thank me for my lifetime of service. Truth be told, as it always is in time, I feared the shunning I always thought would occur. I feared the backlash of failure to save my husband from stepping over the edge.

But the current of the river does not flow to impede me. The river itself does not pass judgment. The experience is strange, because I realise that too many times I have measured myself against those who have falsely judged me. Anakin would deny it, as he denies the light within his struggling soul, but I know - within my heart - that he judged me and came up with a negative. That doesn?t make me unfixable to him, though. Anakin has the ability to fix anything. I could be the perfect woman for him ? the dark queen of Palpatine?s new empire.

However, I know a secret that he doesn?t. I was not crafted wrong. I was not born wrong. The meaning behind my words will never lose strength. I was never wrong. Then again, I was too often right to be truthfully correct all the time. I?m me ? whatever that means. Whoever I am.

The river knows me. It acts like it knows me better than even I know myself. I doubt that it is wrong. I am barely capable of counting the days that pass in my hovel. I am hopeless when it comes to knowing Padme Amidala. Ask the public servant in me, if she still exists. She has the knowledge and the courage to respond.

I wonder if the river can sense the changes within me. I wonder if it can sense my trepidation at stepping off the bank and into the cool stream. Is that why I sense a link ? a string of familiarity ? between us? Does it wish to coax me like a wild animal?

I know the river will wash me away, and deliver me from all this pain and bloodshed. It will make me forget the raging volcanoes of a frightening world. It may even perform miracles and erase any memory of the sting of the scolding slap across my face. It could even wipe the torture and anger from Anakin?s eyes as he hit me. Perhaps it could forgive me for using violence in return.

There are still darker secrets to forgive. What the river doesn?t know won?t hurt it, I hypothesise. The river sees me as Anakin once saw me on Tatooine the first time we met. However, the river does not remind me of Anakin. Should it? My husband?s memory torments me whenever I pick up an everyday object, or watch the fading

 

Yay, she's back and kicking!

Welcome back to the world of writing, Am dear!

And what a return! Awesome job with this beautiful viggie. I love Padme's thoughts - I think you captured Padme's personality perfectly. And the last sentence, What if the river is the Force?, it's absolutely brilliant.

 

A really descriptive view into Padme's thoughts and feelings. I really enjoyed it.

 

I enjoyed this very much. I hope to see more in the future.

 

Oh, I did love it so. I've always loved the imagery you use in your fics, it's beautiful without seeming like it's TRYING to be great imagery, it just is.

And I do hope that this is your return to writing, I miss your huge stories.

Hannah

 

I see it in my dreams. The river. The river that has come to wash me away.

What a powerful start Am! Great.

Anakin dreamt. He shivered and uttered words of a terrible nightmare ? one that would curl the blood of any living being.

I loved that...it reminds me of Anakin's nightmares even in AOTC...nicely tied in here!


Padme looks at Anakin's turn to the Dark side as her own failure. She wants to be frees from her guilt.
But the river does not judge her...that's lovely. Does not judge...but it knows everything... Very haunting...


Anakin would deny it, as he denies the light within his struggling soul,

I loved that bit...something about the phrasing ...it's frightening though how Anakin denies what's there...the light. [face_shocked]

And Anakin's ability at fixing anything. Again...nice tie up with AOTC!


It is my wish that one day Anakin will realise that while I still love him...

And so he does...in the final chapter (RoTJ) when he remembers his wife. You've linked it all up...Padme got her wish...I read in the novelisation how Vader remembers Padme.


What if the river is the Force?

[face_shocked] Brilliant!

Fabulous finale Ams!

Oh, I loved this from the word go...I could just picture it...her emotions her sadness...it was truly sad, emotional and quite disturbing... Amazingly written, Ams.

And I'm blubbing here...

What was that about being rusty? Welcome back Ams ...I look forward to more work like this. You know where I am!

 

Oooh, very interesting, Amsie! Rather surrealistic.

Life shouldn?t be about simply surviving because it is demanded of you.

LOVE that line, dear. Very well done all around.

 

AAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:::tackle hugs:::

You Wrote!! And you wrote so well!!!

Ami is seriously one of my favorite characters. She has so much writing potential as a character, because i think she's dynamic, highly emotional, and vastly misunderstood and underrated (though GL can do that to a person ).

She has to be so desolate post Ep III. Worthless is how i think she would see herself, more or less, and without much hope. I think you capture that here to a T.

And i like her contemplations. It's all very visual, even if its not the view she has on the actual world, but in her mind. You're right there with her all the way, and its sad and its heartbreaking.

Tres cool, dear

I loved it

::Windstar Out::

 

Am . . . wrote a . . . STORY!

*faints dead away*

At first, I thought I was looking at the Saga sticky, but then I thought, no, the Saga sticky is up there! And then I realized!! [face_shocked] [face_shocked]

*wakes up* Well, that was good. Very interesting writing exercise. I could criticize it ( ), but instead I'll just say what I liked about it . I really liked how you described the river, and how at the end, it just kind of comes together in my mind 'Oh, that's a description of the Force!' And Padme was very melancholy, but kind of looking forward to the river, and her memories . . . It all just flowed in an odd way.

It was interesting, suffice to say.

 

Beautiful and sweet, Amses! Very sad!

 

A very sad piece but well done.

 

Amsie!

I will say I read this without any reservations of who it was about and I was surprised. No ? shocked! [face_shocked]

I almost thought Padmé was going to commit suicide. (I?m glad she didn?t ? whew) A very sad piece and it tears my heart out to see Padmé feel this way. I could never envision Anakin hitting her or otherwise hurting her physically in any way, but then I adore A/P.

Although a viggy such as this isn?t something I would normally read, you put it together beautifully. It really is crafted to tear at the heart-strings.

Well done, dear.

 

Awwwwww!!! Lovely vig, Amsie!!! And the last line sums it up beautifully!

 

I think I?ve rediscovered the fact that I am a feedback troll. Thank you everyone for the replies! After having just cured Darth Writers Block, it?s very encouraging to see some new and familiar faces come out of the woodwork! Most of my old readers are gone, but I look forward to getting to know any new people who follow my work (this implies that my muse won?t freeze up again ).

Mar: First response! Thank you, dear! I especially appreciate your comment about me capturing Padme?s personality. Originally, I just wrote the first line after listening to a song by Eric Clapton called ?Tears In Heaven?. I had no idea who the vignette would primarily feature. I like the last line, too!

Sara: Thank you!

Crystal: Thank you! I?m glad you enjoyed this piece and I hope you?ll read my work in the future.

Hannah (PodSquad): I knew this would please you! You?ve been waiting for me to produce something for so long. I?m glad this short vignette did not disappoint. I wouldn?t have been pleasured with myself if it had . Thanks!

Pash: Thanks for such a detailed reply! I never realised that I put so many links to AOTC into this vignette. I particularly liked my reference to Anakin being able to fix anything before it is eerie in a way. Well, if I?m rusty now, I?ll just have to work harder to shake off all that excess dust and cobwebs . As for more work, I?ll attempt to deliver!

Gabri: Thank you! Surreal, eh? Very nice. I like that line, too.

Bri: Amen. I second everything you said about Padme?s character. Thank you for the kind reply! I almost thought I would forget how to post fan fiction. Hope I didn?t frighten you when you saw this .

Oba: Heart attack time! See, I think it?s so pathetic that the Saga sticky takes up most of my posts that I?m going to correct that problem. I don?t always go into your threads pointing out something I found strange, but I guess this is payback . Good odd way ? or bad odd way? Thanks!

Emmi: Thank you! I deal better with psycho angst stories, though .

Lady_Jedi: Thanks!

Arriss: *blush* You flatter me, thanks! I?ve half-done a Padme suicide piece before, so I wasn?t going to go down that road again. Too morbid. I have hinted that Padme was dying, though. I?m glad that you read ? and liked ? this vignette!

Mi (Miana): Thanks!

Anyone else out there? Replies will be treated very warmly!

Am

 

Freaky....

But still very nice!

Wow, I have never seen a piece quite like this before. What a unique idea. It really sums up what Padme must feel after Episode three.

It will make me forget the raging volcanoes of a frightening world.

And I like this reference to the volcano. Everyone knows the rumours about the volcano and the great battle between Obi-Wan and Vader. So that tied in nicely with Ep III. Great job!

 

Bellyup: Thank you! Did I mention my favourite word is ?wow?? And yes, another reference that crept in there. I didn?t realise what I was doing . I?m looking forward to the infamous volcano scene and how George will deal with the special effects needed to make it look realistic.

Am

 

Umm..... possible spoilers below. Although I'm pretty sure that everyone knows this, I gotta be careful!







I think most people know, or at least guess that your favorite word is 'wow'!! And this is off-topic I know, but I remember ages ago, back in February or something, that there was this volcano erupting somewhere in...ohh, Italy or somewhere? It's all very blurry, but I heard that George went over there to film part of it erupting. So that's kinda cool, huh? This is probably old news to everyone, but I just thought I'd mention it.

 

She be BACK! YES! Lovely story, Am, and it was SO interesting! Very nicely done, though I would love to hear about what exactly happened between Anakin and Padme that got him to hit her. I was all like, "Woah!" When I read that part. Love your use of words! It's so poetic, and it really helps the story flow. And that last line was VERY intriguing. I have to read it again and think of the river as the Force. Awesome job Am!

 

Post 5, 000 for me on this thread! Congratulations, Amsie! And for the record, oba, 30 posts did not take me two months .

Bellyup: Really? That?s interesting. I hadn?t heard that before.

Gwen: Despite talking to you on AIM, I still don?t know where you?ve been ?hanging? for these last few months! Keep in contact! Thank you for your review! You always flatter me, person-that-can-make-me-blush-so-easily!

*gathers feedback and scrambles off again*

Am

 

Oh, Am, what a lovely vig. Very reflective, very sad. The beginning really caught me, and I loved how the ending tied everything back in and made me realize that Padmé was describing the Force. Great job, almighty one! Are you prepping up for a biggie fic sometime soon?

 

And for the record, oba, 30 posts did not take me two months .

It would have if you didn't persistently post just to prove me wrong!!

*waves at petit Jedi enfant*

 

*waves at her mummy*

Am, is that true? Only persistent bugging made you post?

 

That is not true, oba! Don?t listen to her, Lei! I post when pressing matters arise, and lately, there have been many things I need to comment on . If you think I don?t post much on JC, oba, you should see my PM box .

Lei: Thank you so much for your feedback! I wasn?t going to reply to you on this thread until I had posted my ?biggie project?, but it was taking too much time. Keep an eye out. It?ll be on the Beyond the Saga board soon!

Am

 

Wow Ams! A new viggie! *glee* And you did an excellent job with writing it. It's rather poetic and melancholy and I like the ending! This is what keeps me loving Padmé's char.

 

Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

Amazing imagery.


I know the river has the strength to carry me from here.

You had me in tears here. This piece is so heartbreaking, but again, beautiful.