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SWRPF Archive The RPF Holonet: News and Current Affairs.

Discussion in 'Star Wars Role Playing Archive' started by Protege-of-Thrawn, Jan 17, 2002.

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  1. Protege-of-Thrawn Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2001
    star 6
    Good Evening, and welcome to Imperial Hourly...[b/]
    Your number one source for the top news stories in the Galaxy!

    And welcome to Coruscant Uncovered..
    We get the goss and the scandal quicker then you can say...Budaki has a love slave!

    And together, we form...the RPF Holonet!!!

    Yes, and Welcome to the Imperial Holonet. I am your co-anchor, Kane Lavos.

    The Holonet has been founded for some key reasons.
    Firstly, as a medium to keep all RPers up to date on their current RP of choice... Correspondents from the other RPs are welcome to post a story, and are encouraged to do so.
    But our main task is to cover the main plot points of the monumental 'War of the Galaxies' thread, and to keep you - the viewers - informed of all the inner nuance's of the stories.
    My co-anchor Admiral Zaarin Will be coming up shortly with the first edition of Coruscant Uncovered our local Current Affairs program.
    We also encourage (not publically of course) Any Rebel groups to arrange for their stories to be posted by a chosen correspondent, and the same goes for the Yuuzhan Vong, as pirate broadcasts.

    Our stories will have a strong Empire type feel for them, so we encourage the other threads to post their own take on some of the major stories.

    A major news break will come up tommorrow evening, recounting the horrific events surrounding the War of the Galaxies, and the large scale conflict over Vortex, our top story.

    Until then, stay tuned, and stay informed..I now pass the baton to Admiral Zaarin, for the very first edition of Coruscant Uncovered!!!
  2. AdmiralZaarin Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2001
    star 5
    To be PC, it would be Imperial Centre Uncovered...but I hate those hardliner Politial Correctionists so lets call it Coruscant Uncovered in defiance! :D

    Coruscant Uncovered
    Recently, embarassing headlines have been popping up all over the Empire. 'Imperial Intelligence Director does Hokey Pokey' and 'Idiotic Children's Songs...do they belong in the Empire?' are among the most common. Thanks to the voyeurism of whoever runs the security on SSDs, we caught all of it on camera!
    *cuts to video of Lavos doing Hokey Pokey while Captain Reder watches with a wry smile on her face*
    GAJ was quoted saying "We need Intelligence personnel who do not do children's dancing while on duty."
    In seeming defiance of the Grand Admiral's speech, I was caught playing Ring-A-Ring-A-Rosy with budaki. Just after we all fell down a picked up my vibroknife and started to stab at budaki, severing ninety of his lekku, gouging out six of his eyes and hacking his head off.
    *cuts to video of Zaarin knifing budaki*
    Of course, he grew three more heads with the darkside, even though my pet ysalamir Meery was on my shoulder. More thanks to the voyeurs at the ISB, Charth Maul was recorded doing the Macarina in his quarters.
    *cuts to video of Charth doing Macarina*
    "Those damn Intell personnel are becoming corrupted by both pop and children's music...it is infesting the Empire...what the hell has the Imperial Board of Culture been doing for the past decade?" the Grand Admiral said.
    *minion runs up to GAJ*
    "They've been sorting polyunsatured fats from monounsaturated fats in Mrs Jello's Butter....MRS JELLO'S BUTTER?!?!"
    *minion points to Zaarin*
    It wasn't me...now theres no need to take out that railgun..now why would your finger be moving towards the trigger? Uh oh...
    Quick, back to PoT! They'll kill me if I get splattered all over the camera while we're live!
  3. Protege-of-Thrawn Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2001
    star 6
    Thank you Admiral Zaarin for another great episode of..
    Coruscant Uncovered

    and now, for the news..

    **ridiculously pompous version of the Imperial March sets in, as the title Imperial Hourly appears on screen**

    Good Evening and welcome to Imperial Hourly. I'm your host, Kane Lavos.
    In our top news story tonight, Director Lavos has reportedly engaged and defeated the Warmaster of the Yuuzhan Vong forces in they skies over Vortex, with a stunningly effective tactic used by former private citizen Admiral Zaarin.
    Report's are sketchy, but it seems our valiant defenders on the ground managed to not only save the time honoured Cathedral of the Winds, but the repelled the invaders with stunning ease. Report's and footage of the battle were unfortunately classified by Imperial Intelligence.
    Grand Admiral Jello said in a statement, "This victory is telling point in this war. No longer will we be on the defensive. I fully intend to push this advantage, and defeat the Yuuzhan Vong forces once and for all!!"

    Inspiring words from our Valiant Commander.

    In other news, the birthing pains of the new Rebel Alliance treaty with the Galactic Empire still struggle on, with rogue elements of the Alliance still battling in small pockets of resistence. DarthMalt from the Imperial Intelligence and Homeland Security agency had the following statement.
    "The rebel terrorists 'Ruck and Maul' and 'CaptKeiranFlar' are both wanted on numerous counts ranging from smuggling to disrupting trade to full out terrorist attacks on innocent civilian targets. We have put out a warrant and reward for any citizen who can find information regarding the whereabouts of these criminals.'

    I call i fully intend to heed...what evil lurks in the hearts of men..(shakes head sadly)

    But in brighter news today, it seems that Ukio has been beaten by Coruscant as 'most desirable place to retire', a recent survey showed.

    And to rap it all up, We at Coruscant Hourly are honoured to inform you of the reinstatement of High General Mitth as the SiC of the Empire, after returning from his daring sojourn into enemy hands for the good of the Empire.
    Good night, and may the Imperial Glory shine on us all...I'm Kane Lavos...goodnight!

    **Imperial March begins again as lights darken, and channel goes to ad break**
  4. DarthAttorney Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Nov 8, 2000
    star 6
    Too many War Of The Galaxies threads guys.....as I've posted 3 times now.

    Not everbody wants to know about it.......

    EDIT: If you expand this Holonet idea to include other games in the forum, I'll let it float. But otherwise it's another WOTG's thread that's starting to spam up this forum. [face_plain]
  5. Protege-of-Thrawn Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2001
    star 6
    Cross to main studio

    "Good Morning viewers, and this just in...Director Lavos has just officially declared victory in the battle of Vortex. Prior reports indicate all Yuuzhan Vong forces have been allowed to retreat, and the Director has announced an official week of celebration on Vortex..

    More news as it comes in, and watch for the main broadcast later tonight...here, live, on Imperial Hourly.."

    Cut back to ad break..

    EDIT: To DA : I agree DA, and realised that this would have to be a whole forum thing.
    If you read my opening address, I openly invite and encourage people from other threads to post as TV broadcasters from their own RP's and threads...I intend for this to be like the CNN of parallel universes and RP's. All threads may post.

    Hence it being the RPF Holonet, as opposed to the WOTG Holonet.

    Zaarin and I will handle the WOTG news along with representatives from the other organisations. Other JCers are welcome to post for their individual threads and RPs.
    Thanks for letting this thread stay,
    Adieu.
  6. budaki Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 19, 2001
    star 4
    lol! Ninety lekku!

    You need to do an in depth story about the drama about to unfold on the Cliffican world of Siydox!
  7. Baron_Fel Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 28, 2001
    star 4
    I suggest you send your reporters to Dathomir for an interview with the Embrace of Pain.
  8. AdmiralZaarin Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2001
    star 5
    I actually did this interview on IM with budaki, so this isn't to mock him ;)


    AdmiralZaarin77: Budaki, are the rumours true? Are you keeping Naha as your love slave?
    Dark Lord Budaki: Love Slave is a very strong term, i like the term "ho"
    AdmiralZaarin77: Ho...I see...
    Dark Lord Budaki: Yes
    Dark Lord Budaki: It keeps things simple
    AdmiralZaarin77: And the Counterpoint...there is speculation over its class...can you clear this up?
    Dark Lord Budaki: OOC: This has nothing to do with the continuity of the RP
    AdmiralZaarin77: OOC: Yes.
    AdmiralZaarin77: OOC: It doesn't is what I meant
    Dark Lord Budaki: Well, the Counterpoint was a crappy ship my clan gave me when they banished me. It is a medium sized Ryloth-made transport or whatnot. I have made many modifications, you know, torture racks ect.
    Dark Lord Budaki: There is also enough room for my ego
    AdmiralZaarin77: Well, I'm sure the Bluehawk could pulverise it.
    AdmiralZaarin77: How do you feel about the Jedi taskforce sent to kill you?
    Dark Lord Budaki: Well, I'm always in need of a few more heads for my collection
    AdmiralZaarin77: And the miri equipped Imperial taskforce?
    Dark Lord Budaki: Oh, I guess there is always room for Jello on my shelf too
    Dark Lord Budaki: What kinda name is Jello?
    Dark Lord Budaki: Cliffican?
    AdmiralZaarin77: And the Rebel force?
    Dark Lord Budaki: Rebels? Ohhhhhh! You mean those children that run around with their little toys claiming that I am some tyrannical monster. I intend to kill them
    AdmiralZaarin77: How, Mr Dark Lord of the Sith, do you feel about KieranFlar's comments about Sith/Jedi only being used by people who want power without earning it?
    AdmiralZaarin77: And do you think Intell is full of dancing sissys?
    Dark Lord Budaki: Well, I think that Kieran is just a scared little man who doesn't want to get killed. That's the problem in my opinion these days, everytime someone who is a real threat, they try and beat him by taking away his powers instead of doing the logical thing and fighting him. I mean with my fleet for instance, it was a little far fetched, but still in the realm of possibility, at least i didn't say i am Isolder or something and take the Hapan fleet. But my fleet wouldn't really do much except against the other fleets.
    Dark Lord Budaki: Well sissy is a strong word, and i don't think dancing makes you one. I occasionally like to turn on my Michael Jackson music video tape and unwind with a rendition of THRILLER, but i don't think that makes me a sissy.
    AdmiralZaarin77: On the subject, is Michael Jackson a man, a woman or somewhere inbetween?
    Dark Lord Budaki: Yes
    AdmiralZaarin77: Yes isn't a valid answer.
    Dark Lord Budaki: *Waves Hand* Yes IS a valid answer
    AdmiralZaarin77: *strokes Meery* No it isn't.
    Dark Lord Budaki: OOC: Meery?
    AdmiralZaarin77: OOC: My pet ysalamir!
    Dark Lord Budaki: Darn ysalamiri!
    Dark Lord Budaki: Well, i think he is somewhere in between
    Dark Lord Budaki: Is there one last question before i return to my cave on Siydox?
    AdmiralZaarin77: Yes.
    Dark Lord Budaki: Okay
    AdmiralZaarin77: Are you going to make any attempt to stop my 5 SGs full of ysalamiri being distributed to the galaxy to make force users obsolete?
    Dark Lord Budaki: Why? I am a Bad Ass without the Force
    AdmiralZaarin77: Or the 'Miri With Guns' program to assassinate Sith and Jedi?
    Dark Lord Budaki: Hmm, I'll Just Have to take it one day at a time
    Dark Lord Budaki: Well i have to go
    AdmiralZaarin77: bye
  9. GrandAdmiralJello Community and Lit moderator person

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Nov 28, 2000
    star 10
    LETTER FROM GRANDADMIRALJELLO: What, do interesting gossip from Imperial court politics? No new scandals of Grand Admiral Tigellinus?
  10. Protege-of-Thrawn Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2001
    star 6
    Welcome to Imperial Hourly!

    Yes, in our top story tonight, Vortex is saved and the Brass dance the night away at the Cathedral of Winds.
    In what was a surely titanic battle, our glorious forces destroyed most of the enemy fleet, killing the Yuuzhan Vong Warmaster.
    Reports suggest that the Imperial Forces did sustain some damage, but military analysts are still heralding this to be a grand victory.

    And on another point, the word around the streets of Imperial Centre is most certainly: Where is Grand Admiral Jello?
    Word has it our prodigal leader has set out on a protracted campaign to firstly eliminate all enemies of the Empire.
    information sources within the Fleet, suggest that the rogue, unknown, Sith Lord is the target, but where and when an attack is to be made is not known at this point.

    Also, this just in from Vortex...Yes, Director Lavos was fuming after he heard the following excerpt from Coruscant Uncovered.
    And do you think Intell is full of dancing sissys?
    Director Lavos insisted that whoever said such blasphemy be brought before him, so he could give them a very stern talking to, before inviting them in for hot chocolate and cookies.
    Ahem...more on these stories and new news as it breaks...Your with Imperial Hourly, the number ONE galactic news broadcaster!!

    OOC: All other groups, YV and Rebel, and other threads, get to posting your news!!
  11. GrandAdmiralJello Community and Lit moderator person

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Nov 28, 2000
    star 10
    OOC: Yeah. This should be better than EUCNN.
  12. Nechayev Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 5, 2002
    star 3
    In Rebel Brodcasts Rarely tonight:
    - The new MC-220's: Are they really sentient or are they just make belive?

    -The battle of Vortex: were we really there?

    and the kicker for you folks

    -The clebration at vortex: Whats with those stuffy imperial commanders dancing??

    All this later tonight on Rebel Brodcasts Rarely tonight

    OOC: How did i do??
  13. Nechayev Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 5, 2002
    star 3
    Our first story for you tonight is about the new MC-220 Crusiers. Are they really sentient or are we just told this by some kinda Phsyco??

    The mans Name is Bterrik and he commands these now 2 ships. He claims that they are sentient but how do we know that they aren't just romotely contolled. Is this man fit to be a commander? Or should he be thrown in the Loony bin? Well this anchors opinion is the second. I don't belive in fairy tales of talking ships and emotional computers. If these ships are so life like then why don't they eat? Why don't they sleep? Why don't they even get sick sometimes? I think that BTerrik is a loony but we want to hear your opinons so call us on this thread here and give us your opinion.

    Another story for you. Were the rebels REALLY at vortex? We've seen no evidence so far so what does that show us? What happened to the Galactic alliance and our "Joint" command and millitary? If this treaty means so much to us why don't we back it? Heck even the Hapans showed up at vortex but no purely rebel ships did? Where were they all? Off in some unknow corner of the univers having a day long snack break? This is just my opinion but we want to hear yours so post on this thread here with your opinion

    Last of all, the party at vortex. Is it really a party or just a place for imperial commander to sit and drink and SAY they are having a party? We'er gonna do a poll on this one so we want you're responses so onc again post on this thread with your opinion.

    Thats it for Rebel Brodcast Rarely we can't tell you when but well see ya again.

    OOC: I had WAY too much fun with this hehe this is a great forum PoT.
  14. Protege-of-Thrawn Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2001
    star 6
    OOC: Nechyev, congratulations! That was great!

    Welcome back to Imperial Hourly[/i]. I am your new news anchor, Ysanne Isard.
    Today it was revealed by Grand Moff Hissa that the mysterious dissapearance of the fabled Moffship was nothing more then some innocent repairs on the ships moffiene machine.
    Disturbed by rumours of the plans emerging from the last Mofferance to stage a coup, Grand Moff Hissa joked openly.
    "Yes, of course, we are planning to supplant the Grand Admiral...What will you tabloids think up next, that the Imperial Director of Intelligence has given control of a ship to his pet monkey? hahahaha!!!"
    **Minions walks up to Hissa**
    "He WHAT!!????!!"

    *Cross to studio*

    A distrubing report indeed. In other news, the party of Vortex has officially began! Live holocomm transmissions of the festivites can be seen in the WOTG II: Clash of the Titan's thread, brought to you by Imperial Hourly!

    And in sport today, Imperial Centre officially declared this years Shockball Tournament to be a go! After two years of no sporting events for fear of rebel terrorist attacks, the new 'Galactic Alliance' treaty has allowed most sporting genre's to start up again!
    Rumour has it that even Rebel held worlds will participate, with the inclusion of 5 teams from rebel held worlds!

    And lastly, a small glimpse into the world of Grand Admiral Jello, with these picture's of his offices on Imperial Centre...I'm your host, Ysanne Isard, and this is Imperial Hourly!!!!

    **Pictures of an opulant yet pragmatic room comes on screen as the funky Imperial March theme starts up...as the microphones are sitll on, a muffled voice can be heard.."Who does Director Lavos think he is? I Ysanne Isard, relegated to lowly Newsreader! I should have his job in reality....**
  15. Protege-of-Thrawn Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2001
    star 6
    Welcome to this Imperial Hourly Newsflash!!
    Is there a new super weapon or fighting style being experimented with by General Zaarin, High General Mitth, and Director Lavos?
    Our spy recorders caught this footage...

    mitthrawn18: *frowns* damn that monkey
    AdmiralZaarin77: *bacta tank appears out of nowhere and cures Zaarin*
    mitthrawn18: Hey Zaarin, how you feeling?
    AdmiralZaarin77: *picks up Repeater* Asta la vista, monkey.
    ProtegeofThrawn: *Dugal...who was also on top of the tower...pushes Mitth from behind off the tower..* "I always hated that guy"
    mitthrawn18: Ack!
    mitthrawn18: *grips edge of ledge*
    ProtegeofThrawn: **Boba eats prunes and high-fibre bread in preperation for the coming battle*
    AdmiralZaarin77: *Spiker catches Mitthy*
    ProtegeofThrawn: *Dugal steps on Mitth's fingertips*
    mitthrawn18: *growls*
    mitthrawn18: *chokes back the pain and cries*
    AdmiralZaarin77: *uses extendable super strong Caridan eyebrows to lift Mitthy to safety*
    **Boba poops the biggest Lincoln log in history, and ploughs it into tower, his fart at the end lifts the falling Dugal and Lavos, dropping them slowly to safety...Lavos attempts to escape down a side alley, whilst Dugal waits.."


    Is this a true battle between our command members? A simple battle between friends?
    Or are they trialing new techniques such as magic, appearing Bacta Tanks, and incredible Bowel movements from Primates?

    It must be a disturbing time for the Yuuzhan VOng with our leaders willing to risk life and limb to trial such new techniques and weapons..

    This is Ysanne Isard on behalf of Imperial Hourly, signing off...
  16. Master_Ben Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2001
    star 4
    "This is Master Ben, reporting for the RPN, Role Playing News Inc."

    "The RPG Crouching Jedi, Hidden Sith, has reportedly influenced its players to create similar RPG's such as Destiny, Outbound Flight Project, and Prelude to Rebellion. But the RPG has not completed itself as its members have not posted in it for some time. The disappearance of its members has been disturbing to some players.

    (Switch to citizen)

    Citizen: "I'm afraid that the RPG has been abandoned. Overall the RPG board has had less visitations than usual. This frightens me."

    (Back to Ben)

    Master_Ben: The present players of these RPG's are hooping that with the dawning of Saturday that the lost members will return. In Coruscant, Master Ben, RPN.
  17. Fluke_Groundwalker Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Aug 11, 2001
    star 5
    This is Fluke Groundwalker reporting in to say that my RP, the Orignal Trilogy -- The RP has started. All those already signed up for it, head on over and start RPing!

    And to those who haven't yet signed up, head on over to see what it's all about, or send a PM my way. Thanks!
  18. Attack_Of_Da_Gnomes Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 2, 2002
    star 4
    I just posted my complete chart to vehicles to use in STAR WARS STAR FIGHTER ACADEMY.It took me a long time.Also, if your itching for some Star Fighter RPG action, head there!
  19. DarthAttorney Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Nov 8, 2000
    star 6
    This thread seems to have become advertising.

    Advertising is not allowed so please keep it clean and try to have some fun in here without spamming. This thread is a bit of an exception in this forum. I've been trying to keep chat and non-gaming threads to a minimum but this one seems like a bit of fun.

    It'd be a shame if I had to lock it for something as silly as advertising :)
  20. AdmiralZaarin Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2001
    star 5
    DA, your icon looks like an old woman.
  21. DarthAttorney Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Nov 8, 2000
    star 6
    Zaarin, your icon looks like a Shi'ar with too much backlight.
  22. AdmiralZaarin Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 8, 2001
    star 5
  23. GrandAdmiralJello Community and Lit moderator person

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Nov 28, 2000
    star 10
    LoL. And of course, my icon is the epitome of perfection.
  24. Blue_10 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 13, 2001
    star 4
    GAJ's icon is to circly! How's that for imperfection? [face_laugh]
  25. GrandAdmiralJello Community and Lit moderator person

    Manager
    Member Since:
    Nov 28, 2000
    star 10
    Your sentences have spelling errors, so I cannot accept that complaint against my icon.
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