SWRPF Archive The RPF Holonet: News and Current Affairs.

Discussion in 'Star Wars Role Playing Archive' started by Protege-of-Thrawn, Jan 17, 2002.

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  1. Nechayev Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jan 5, 2002
    star 3
    In Jedi rabble command tonight we bring you the footage of the preperation for the battle vs Budkai.

    *Shows 2 jedi just eating and the rest going about their business only one is actually preparing and SHLOOP a tail comes flying out of his rear and grows spikes on it. The man frowns and consentrates and the tail disapperas he then finishes packing and goes to the transport.*

    We ask you veiwers WHAT WAS THAT? has anybody heard of this person or thing that is a human without a tail then with a tail and then without again?

    On another note obviously the jedi don't take this seriosly save one and somehow i don't think one jedi can kill 10000 troops and a dark sith lord.

    Thats it for jedi rabble tonight

    OOC: just blowing off some steam about the jedi in WOTG:COTT bucse i'm the onl;y one doing anything.
  2. Protege-of-Thrawn Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2001
    star 6
    Good Evening viewers, and welcome to Imperial Hourly!

    I am your host, Ysanne Isard, and this is the latest news.

    Firstly, division in the ranks at Yavin 4? our top story the growing dissent between the Jedi in their joint aggressive venture against Lord Budaki, reputedly the Sith Lord who had wrought such destruction on Ryloth. The Jedi are even more determined to find a mutual lack of agreement on the matter of the Yuuzhan Vong, whilst our glorious forces pursue and defeat this scourge in masses, the Jedi seem to be doing; nothing.

    Also, Director Lavos has delcared that after some initial successes with Imperial News Networks Pty. Ltd, their scheme of advertising for corporations and organisations had brought too much criticism from the classification boards, and from now on Director Lavos has declared all Imperial News Networks Pty. Ltd Posts to be Totally Advertisement free!!!!

    What a truly great ruler, in touch with the Imperial citizenry.

    And in other news, General Zaarin - the newest member of our glorious forces, has declared Kuat to be a complete member world of the Empire!
    We salute our new comrades from Kuat, and compel other worlds to follow suit.

    Be watching for the next update, and a special thanks from us to Darth_Attorney Classification Boards : Our name has all the evil, so your viewing pleasure can be 'filth free!'.

    I am Ysanne Isard, and this is Imperial Hourly! Goodnight!
  3. DarthAttorney Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Nov 8, 2000
    star 6

    EDIT: Now that I think of it, this thread might be a good spot to post official administration messages important to this forum. Changes in poilcy, new rules, etc. How would the Holonet management feel about being the RPG forum's premiere notification thread? :D
  4. bterrik Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 11, 2001
    star 4
    Rebel Alliance Special Report from the Mon Calamari Cruiser Devil's Spit, in orbit over the planet Siydox.

    **Fuzzy Hologram appears**

    Hello, everyone, and I am Alliance Admiral bterrik. I come to you with this special report on the situation here at Siydox.

    My ships and I have been in close orbit with the planet for some time, as well as many Imperial Destroyers further out in the system. My sensors have reveiled two large armies massing to fight eachother, on of which we presume to be the dark lord Budaki's Necrotroops. The other of which, we have no idea. It appears that the other group is awaiting the arrival of the Jedi prior to launching their attack.

    For now, that is all from Siydox. I will keep you all informed when news here breaks.

    This has been a Rebel Alliance Special Report.
  5. Protege-of-Thrawn Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2001
    star 6
    Good Evening, and welcome to a special report of Imperial Hourly!!

    My name is Ysanne Isard, and in this special bulitein I will bring to you the top news in today's Empire!!

    Firstly, Grand Moff DarthAttorney approached Director Kane Lavos with this gracious offer!
    How would the Holonet management feel about being the RPG forum's premiere notification thread?
    Director Lavos was delighted by his excellency's offer, and had this in reply.
    We at Holonet Imperial Management welcome such an honour for our network. As our viewers are aware, we have been working to extend the material on this thread, with the inclusion of the Rebel Alliance broadcasts, and the reports from other organisations included in the RPF Free Press agreement. I welcome HIM Darth Attorney to our Holonet, and hope to hear some of his Imperial Decree's soon!

    How well put, by our glorious Intelligence Director!

    In other news, Director Lavos has opened a new advertising scheme for Imperial recruiting, strangly enough putting the emphasis on more Female enrollment.
    In this statement, he tells us why.
    Well Ysanne, I have noticed that amongst the scars left by our late IM, the Emperor, is a strong anti-Non HuMan bias. We are trying to combat this in the New Order of present, with this pitch at women to enrol in our armed forces.

    It all seems to be coming together for the Empire. My name is Ysanne Isard, and this is Imperial Hourly!!
  6. Protege-of-Thrawn Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2001
    star 6
    Good Evening, and I am Ysanne Isard. Welcome to this special Imperial Hourly newsflash!!!

    This just in, it seems the Sith Lord now known as Budaki, has been killed by a combined Empire, Alliance and Jedi strike force!

    Grand Admiral Jello has been quoted as saying it is a proud day in the history of the Empire, when such a 'morally corrupt magician' has been brought to justice.

    In other news, a warrant has been issued for the arrest of Pirate and Terrorist leader, Capt. Kerian Flar..
    The reward is quoted at 250 000 Imperial Credits.

    More on these, and other stories, as they develop.

    Be watching for the full report of Imperial Hourly, in 12 hours time...

  7. CmdrMitthrawnuruodo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 1, 2000
    star 6
    *passes a note to Director Lavos about officers in the Army slacking off in the War against the Yuuzhan Vong* I swear it, its a one man Army.
  8. Jace_Halycron Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 5, 2001
    star 4
    Special Interview with Jace Halycron, Colonel of the Rebel Alliance and Jedi Knight:

    Ysanne Isard: Good evening, Colonel Halycron.
    Jace Halycron: Thank you for having me, Ysanne.
    YI: May I ask a few questions about the supposed discention in the ranks of the Jedi following this weeks recent events?
    JH: Sure.
    YI: A recent commique from Jedi Nechayev points out a growing discention within the ranks of the Jedi on Yavin 4, what of this?
    JH: Well, Ysanne, I had Alliance duties, so I was not present, but from my understanding, the Jedi Council was hesitant to send anyone to Siydox to take on Budaki.
    I, myself, thought it was a trap, and wanted to go still, but like I said, duties.
    YI: So, do you belive in this discention?
    JH: Well, I do belive that there is a certain amount of misunderstanding in the Padawans and students, perhaps some in the junior knights, but I think the anxiety hasn't quite worn off from the battle at Siydox.
    YI: Oh? And what of Jedi Nechayev's mission to Siydox to stop Budaki?
    JH: I think he took off before thinking the whole situation through. We know that Dark Lord Budaki wasn't above the use of baits and traps, so it certainly could of been a lot more dangerous than any of us imagined.
    YI: But what of the accusations regarding Jedi inactivity?
    JH: Inactivity? *eyes grow wide* That is a farce. On Yavin 4, the Jedi were gathering Intelligence regarding Budaki and the ancient Sith technology and skills. The few of us active in the Rebel Alliance were taking all nessesary steps to make sure that they found what they could.
    YI: Well, thank you for your time, Colonel Halycron.
    JH: It was my pleasure, Ysanne.

    Ysanne Isard: And before this interview, Colonel Halycron personally assured us that he would be taking the attack to the Yuuzhan Vong with his Alliance comrades, and that other Jedi commanders would be doing the same.
  9. The_Eighth_Cortex Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Aug 29, 2001
    star 2
    Good Evening Infidels.

    This is Peace Brigade News
    I am Capt. Horn, your presenter.

    It seems our corrupt governments - the Rebel Aliance and the Galactic Empire - have continued to persecute a war of misinformation and aggressive intentions against the Yuuzhan Vong.
    The Yuuzhan Vong do not come with ill intent towards our people, but wished to broaden our cultural perspective with frank new views on religion, life.......and death.
    We are denied this great oppurtunity by our leaders who wish to continue our oppression without the danger of new concepts of ideas.

    Help strike back and save the glorious Yuuzhan Vong from the hunters of our government's, and save an innocent civilisation from ruin.

    To sum up, i present to you a speech from General Fhuver Vil.

    "All Infidel's will die. Grant us your Jeedai or face the same fate that we dealt to Myrkr. If all Jeedai are not handed over, we will not stop, and I will personally find each of you, and gore myself on your babies, torture your most loved ones, before leaving you to live in the most intense worship and pain, thus denying you the honour of death so as you might find the glory of pain.

    You have one of your weeks to hand over all Jeedai."

    We thank the General for his soothing words.

    This is Peace Brigade News.

    ooc: this place needed more of a Yuuzhan Vong perspective. Be glad I posted, otherwise the taint of Infidels would of made this thread impure.
  10. CmdrMitthrawnuruodo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 1, 2000
    star 6
    And in other news:

    Peace Brigade News ratings plummeted to an all time low today while Coruscant Uncovered and Coruscant Hourly shot straight through the roof.
  11. chissdude10 Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jul 26, 2001
    star 5
    Hello People of the galaxy, you do not know our fraction well, but by the end of tommarow we will have crushed a fleet in a certain Fraction. Consider yourself warned, the CSA is here to stay.
  12. Protege-of-Thrawn Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2001
    star 6
    Welcome to Imperial Hourly!
    I am your host, Ysanne Isard, and we have some top news stories tonight.

    First, our cover story. Empire on the Imperial March!

    As our fleets continue to invade the Yuuzhan Vong territories, many worlds begin to crumble before our might. With the help of many Rebel fleets, we have the Yuuzhan VOng on the back foot.

    and in other news, what to make of the military build up in the CSA?
    Many analysts suspect territorial aspirations, but such outlandish theories seem ridiculous in light of the Imperial Navy. Here at Imperial Hourly, we have expert yet anonymous sources which indicate they intend to attack business rivals to create larger monopoly's on business.

    and also, what to make of the strange actions of our High Command? After scandal rocked the Intelligence fraternity with Director Lavos doing children's dances and agent C_M dancing with macarena's, we have found footage of General Zaarin cracking up under pressure during battle.

    Cut to footage of Zaarin yelling "Pocket Hare's" before jumping around his bridge like a rabbit.

    Hmm..disturbing to be sure. What to make of it all? More news for you as it develops.

    I am Ysanne Isard, and this is Imperial Hourly!
  13. Yomin_Carr Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2002
    star 4
    Its time for Yuuzhan Vong Yeliy (Daily.) In recent news, due to the amazing genius of Yomin Carr and the utter ruthlessness of GAJ, Coruscant is in ruins. With over 4 million dead and the property damage well into the trillions, Coruscant is sure to be a spot you don't want to go to anytime soon. How will this affect you're holiday weekend? More at eleven... In other news, the fleets of the Peace Brigade has managed to repel the amusing assault by the CSA. With their surrender imminent, we'll have more at eleven...
  14. DarthAttorney Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Nov 8, 2000
    star 6
    Welcome to New Policy Rarely....brought to you by the good people at the JC Administration.

    In a startling and controversial move, forum moderator DarthAttorney has taken steps to ensure the longevity and multicultral integrity of everyone's favourite forum by strictly limiting the War Of The Galaxies game to 7 threads. The bold move see's several smaller threads being consolidated into a single thread in an effort to cut down on the massive number of threads in existence for the one huge game.

    When approached for comment while holidaying in an unnamed hotel on Coruscant by New Policiy Rarely, the enigmatic mod was quoted as saying: "Bugger off before I ban you for something". Inspiring words indeed......

    The new direction is expected to allow more room for smaller games to receive the recognition they deserve, while giving shiny new threads a chance to float without being pushed off the first few pages prematurely.

    This has been a New Policy Rarely bulletin, brought to you by the Administration, the letter A and the number 6.
  15. Protege-of-Thrawn Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2001
    star 6
    And Welcome yet again, to Imperial Hourly!

    What Scandle rocks the galaxy? We can tell you in our top story tonight, "New Policy Rarely...really good stuff?"

    But first in a related story, what of the strange cult cropping up on Coruscant?
    Strange 'Holy Daughters' have been leading commune's in the city in the aftermath of the Yuuzhan Vong terror attacks, leading to a popular resurgence of spiritual and religious lifestyle. The popularity of this cult - details on which are sketchy and unbelievable - seem to dictate that these 'holy daughters' are building up quite a following, for purposes unknown.
    Moff Loor had the following comment. "Holy Mothers? Probably another of Director Lavos' craxy Intel projects. Ha ha ha!"
    *Cut back to a pale Ysanne Isard*
    Did he just gu..? Ha. hmm. What an absurd notion. Ha ha ha. Very funny words from our happy Moff of Imperial Centre.
    In other news, these Holy Mothers have supposed looked for Evil Portents in the recent broadcast from New Policy Rarely...., looking specifically at the signifigance of the letter 6, in conjunction with the letter A.
    Intelligence Analysts had this to say on their own findings.
    "We have proof that the use of the A as a prelude to the 6 is symbolic of the beginning of the alphabet and therefore the phenomenon in question, and 6 portends some dark force to come thereafter, obviously instigated from Grand Moff and Superior Grand Poobah Leader guy of the RPF, JC Forums, and known universe, Darth Attorney."
    *Cut to Ysanne Isard ready to faint.*
    Just wait until DA hears...Ah! Hello again, and of course, Imperial Hourly fully supports or stupendous Grand Moff and Superior Grand Poobah Leader guy, Darth Attorney, and his rulership of the Galaxy and the Holonet as a whole. We will have more news, after this word from our sponsers!

    OOC: It's good to be back.
  16. Protege-of-Thrawn Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Mar 14, 2001
    star 6
    Good Evening, I am Ysanne Isard, and this is Imperial Hourly.

    Today, sombre and tragic news, as the Director's office releases the news of the sad demise of War Hero and Fleet Vice-Admiral, Sil Dugal.

    Loyal solider of the Empire, Dugal left an outstanding Intelligence career to train with the Fleet, making large inroads and a reputation for skill and daring.

    His skills caught the eye of his friend and mentor Director Lavos, who actually allowed him to join his private staff, and command the helm of his flagship.

    Sil Dugal's career was typified with his glorious courage on Vortex, where he led ground forces in an unconventional yet stunningly effective routing of Yuuzhan Vong forces, saving the infamous 'Cathedral of the Winds'.

    Sadly, it seems this hero of the Empire was recently slain in the line of duty, under circumstances the Director's office have not disclosed.

    A week's public mourning was announced from within the 'Agamarian Refugee Enclave' on Coruscant, the people from which Dugal's life sprung.

    Moff Loor has announced that a funeral will be held in Coruscant Square within 2 weeks time, with a full military guard present, to honour the war hero.

    We all join the authorities in mourning this loss.

    This is Ysanne Isard, signing off from Imperial Hourly.
  17. Warlord_Ken Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 2, 2000
    star 4
    Anchor: The RPF Holonet is currently receiving a transmission from Bimmiel.

    Ken: Greetings, Holonet. This is High General Warlord Ken of the Rebel Alliance. I have had difficulty keeping up with all these current events, so please help me out.

    From what I understand, Sernpidal and Helska have fallen to the Rebel Alliance, effectively cutting off Vong communications and supplies to Belkadan and whatever Vong forces are extragalactic. Also, Imperial forces are occupying the Myrkr system after it was tragically rendered lifeless by the murderous Yuuzhan Vong.

    Now, my pressing question is, What happened at Wayland? Our own Vice Admiral Nechayev was battling there, but I'm not sure if he captured the system or if he retreated and it's still in Vong hands.

    Also, what other gains have been made in Vong territory?

    That will be all for now. I appreciate any sensible and appropriate responses.
  18. Jace_Halycron Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 5, 2001
    star 4
    Live Feed from Imperial Center, Flirry Vorru reporting:

    *Steps into holocam view*
    "Can we truely believe these events. Rebel Alliance Brevet-General Jace Halycron has defected to our Glorious Empire."

    *Holocam image slips to view of Halycron in Imperial Palace with Emperor Jello*

    "This is a truely momentous occasion. Our Glorious forces swell."
  19. Bravo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 10, 2001
    star 6
    Unknown News Source

    A hazy hologram filled hologram projecters around the Imperial Captial. A Imagine of a Jedi Knight with a black Jedi Robe on was barly visabile. The scary thing, was that this Jedi Knight had his hood covering his head and his eyes. His head was lowered, and his voice was almost dark...evil...almost like the Emperor's voice.

    Jedi Knight Bravo: "Hello fellow Imperials and Rebels. I am Vice Admiral Bravo of the Rebel Alliance. I am here to report sad news that the joint operations of Imperial and Rebel Forces at Dathomir failed. Good Imperial and Rebel soldiers and sailors lost there lifes."

    Vice Admiral Bravo was wearing his Jedi Robe, and for a second took a short moment to reflect on his words. Then started again.

    Bravo: "Agamar was lost to the Yuuzhan Vong yesterday afternoon. I beg you...all of you to not give in to the Yuuzhan Vong invasion. The Yuuzhan Vong will pay for there actions at Dathomir and Agamar. I give you my word, a word of a Jedi...that I will have my revenge...and so will you. The Yuuzhan Vong have a new enemy to deal with... the deadlist of all enemies...revenge."

    The ghostly and hazy imagine faded from the holograms projecters around the Imperial Captial.
  20. Warlord_Ken Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 2, 2000
    star 4
    Um, Agamar already fell to the Vong a long time ago. You mean you failed to capture it.

    And, um, isn't Fliry Vorru imprisoned at Kessel? ?[face_plain]
  21. Jace_Halycron Jedi Padawan

    Member Since:
    Jul 5, 2001
    star 4
    This one is a news-anchor, sir. ;)

    This just in...oh, I can't remember...
  22. Bravo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 10, 2001
    star 6
    Yeah, I meant I failed to capture Agamar.
  23. Yomin_Carr Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 12, 2002
    star 4
    By the way, WK, at Wayland, Nechayev encountered me, and was annilated. Just an answer to your question :D . And its still very much in Yuuzhan Vong hands.
  24. DarthAttorney Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Nov 8, 2000
    star 6
    Can y'all try to reply in the proper format of a newscast/field report or not at all....this thread is sorta like it's own little game so please don't put it off topic, however accidentally it may be? :)
  25. Nechayev Jedi Youngling

    Member Since:
    Jan 5, 2002
    star 3
    In "Most embarrising defeats yet..."

    Vice-Admirial Nechayev who had launched a hit and run attack on wayland was utterly annihalted when he was unable to flee due to YV dovin basil technology, he was unable to harm the massive YV fleet with the few ships sent on the mission, namely 2-NebB's, 2-Strike Crusiers,and a corvette.

    On another note YV everywhere beware, at the recent battle of serpindel the Grand Crusier there was destroyed by a mer probe! That has to be one heck of a hit to their ego's. Vice-Admiral Nechayev redeemed himself there after his brutal defeat at Wayland by taking the brunt of the YV fleet and in the process losing almost 25% of his fleet.

    That's it tonight for "Most embarrising defeats yet..."
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