Sth Bend, IN THE Rules

Discussion in 'Mid West Regional Discussion' started by Xmaveric, Aug 20, 2003.

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  1. Xmaveric Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 25, 2000
    star 5
    We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now
    here are the rules from the male side. These are 'OUR'
    rules!

    Please note... these are all numbered
    "1" ON PURPOSE!

    -----------------------------------

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
    You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
    down. We need it up, you need it down.
    You don't hear us complaining
    about you leaving it down.

    1. Whenever possible, please say
    whatever you have to say during
    commercials.

    1. A headache or stomachache that lasts
    for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

    1. Sunday = sports. It's like the
    full moon or the changing of the
    tides. Let it be.

    1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no,
    we are never going to think of it
    that way.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be
    clear on this one: Subtle hints do
    not work! Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work! Just say
    it!

    1. Yes and No are perfectly
    acceptable answers to almost every
    question.

    1. Come to us with a problem only if
    you want help solving it. That's
    what we do. Sympathy is what your
    girlfriends are for.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is
    inadmissible in an argument. In
    fact, all comments become null and void
    after 7 days.

    1. If you won't dress like the
    Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
    us to act like soap opera guys.

    1. If you think you're fat, you
    probably are. Don't ask us.

    1. If something we said can be
    interpreted two ways, and one of the
    ways makes you sad or angry, we meant
    the other one.

    1. You can either ask us to do
    something or tell us how you want it
    done. Not both. If you already know
    best how to do it, just do it
    yourself.

    1. Christopher Columbus did not need
    directions and neither do we.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors,
    like Windows default settings.

    Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a
    color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.

    We have no idea what mauve is.

    1. If it itches, it will be
    scratched. We do that.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you
    say "nothing," we will act like
    nothing's wrong. We know you are lying,
    but it's not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't
    want an answer to, expect an answer
    you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere,
    absolutely anything you wear is fine.
    Really.

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking -
    unless you are prepared to
    discuss such topics as baseball,
    sports, the shotgun formation, or
    monster trucks.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

    1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I
    know, I have to sleep on the
    couch tonight, but did you know men
    really don't mind that, it's like
    camping.
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