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Beyond - Legends "The Sea and the Sun" A J/Tk poem - First Fic - Replies Up!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Arwen_Djo, Aug 2, 2006.

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  1. Arwen_Djo

    Arwen_Djo Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 3, 2006
    This is my first attempt to write anything and the first thing I ever posted, so be nice. I would love feedback and comments! [:D]
    Summary: Jacen and Tenel Ka lament from beyond their graves by themselves, and then together...

    ~*~

    ~Jacen
    "My body is lost in the depths of the briny sea.
    My dearest love, this cannot mean the end for you and me.
    Though I died here far below,
    Rest asured, for this is what I know:
    It's true! Love can conqure all
    No matter where the warrior may fall
    Love, You and I will become one
    I in the sea, and you in the sun."



    ~Tenel Ka
    "Jacen, love, I fade here all alone.
    Without your hand to save me, I perish, flesh and bone
    You sink in the depths, I rose into the heat.
    Love, my mortal heart shall no longer beat.
    I too, know we can finish our song,
    Though each alone, the fire and sea sing along.
    My love for you, O warrior of the sea,
    Will never change and neither will your love for me."



    ~Both
    "Together here in the Force we stand
    In the white, we conqured, hand in hand
    Old friends long gone, greet us here
    Also, many from outside our sphere.
    Gazing at last into each others eyes
    We find we are together, not a surprise,
    Though opposites we may be
    One from the sun and one from the sea."


    ~*~


    Tell me what you think...
     
  2. AvenKiel

    AvenKiel Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 18, 2003
    Wow, this is really good, especially for your first fic! I love the imagery you've got going on!
     
  3. magehound

    magehound Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 4, 2006
    :_| that was absolutely beautiful! dear lord..did you write that yourself? words fail me to express just how poignant and sad and everything else that was..it was absolutely wonderful.
     
  4. SilSolo

    SilSolo Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004
    Yeah, it's absolutely stunning! Fits J/TK very well, though it's ironic how TK comes from the watery world of Hapes.
     
  5. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Beautiful! =D=

    Together here in the Force we stand
    In the white, we conqured, hand in hand
    Old friends long gone, greet us here
    Also, many from outside our sphere.
    Gazing at last into each others eyes
    We find we are together, not a surprise,
    Though opposites we may be
    One from the sun and one from the sea."


    Bravo on a lovely piece of work! =D=
     
  6. Arwen_Djo

    Arwen_Djo Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 3, 2006
    AvenKiel Wow, this is really good, especially for your first fic! I love the imagery you've got going on!

    Thanks! I really wasn't sure about it.


    magehound that was absolutely beautiful! dear lord..did you write that yourself? words fail me to express just how poignant and sad and everything else that was..it was absolutely wonderful.

    Well, I hope I wrote it, because if I didn't do it, I don't know who did... [face_thinking] Thanks so much!!


    SilSolo Yeah, it's absolutely stunning! Fits J/TK very well, though it's ironic how TK comes from the watery world of Hapes.

    I wasn't thinking about that, Master!!! I kinda used Tk's hair for a starter.

    VaderLVR64 Beautiful!

    Together here in the Force we stand
    In the white, we conqured, hand in hand
    Old friends long gone, greet us here
    Also, many from outside our sphere.
    Gazing at last into each others eyes
    We find we are together, not a surprise,
    Though opposites we may be
    One from the sun and one from the sea."

    Bravo on a lovely piece of work!


    I'm glad you liked it!

    **
    *Takes a bow* Thanks everybody! Now, y'all have to stay and watch my ego enflate...

     
  7. Arwen_Djo

    Arwen_Djo Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 3, 2006
    up [face_blush]

    [face_chicken] (sorry, I'm dying to use the chicken emocon)
     
  8. DathomiranAuthor

    DathomiranAuthor Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Jan 18, 2005
    Wow! Beautifully written! I love the comparisons to sun and sea and the beautiful poetic flow.
     
  9. Arwen_Djo

    Arwen_Djo Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 3, 2006
    DathomiranAuthor
    Wow! Beautifully written! I love the comparisons to sun and sea and the beautiful poetic flow.


    Thanks for reading![:D]
     
  10. Jaya Solo

    Jaya Solo Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 12, 1999
    Great poem. :) I usually don't read poems, but this one was really good. It amazes me that people can write poems off the top of their heads. I can write stories, but poems, no. :) So kudos to you for your wonderful talent. :)
     
  11. Darkwriter

    Darkwriter Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 28, 2006
    *frowns* I didn't post yet. I could have sworn I posted. Agh! I'm losing my mind!!!!!!

    This was wonderful. I especially love the last one, where they speak together.


    Janet
     
  12. Arwen_Djo

    Arwen_Djo Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 3, 2006
    Jaya_Solo
    Great poem. :)I usually don't read poems, but this one was really good. It amazes me that people can write poems off the top of their heads. I can write stories, but poems, no. :)So kudos to you for your wonderful talent:)

    Thank you Jaya. I love writing but I've yet to come up with anything worth while. Believe it or not, I'm not a big poem person.

    Darkwriter
    *frowns* I didn't post yet. I could have sworn I posted. Agh! I'm losing my mind!!!!!!

    This was wonderful. I especially love the last one, where they speak together.


    Uh, can I call you Janet or do you like Darkwriter? Anyway, thanks replying. I think the last is my favorite as well.

     
  13. ZebulaNebula

    ZebulaNebula Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Feb 10, 2005
    Hauntingly beautiful is the only way I can describe it ... It brought a tear to my eye.
     
  14. Arwen_Djo

    Arwen_Djo Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 3, 2006
    ZebluaNebula
    Hauntingly beautiful is the only way I can describe it ... It brought a tear to my eye.

    I'm glad you liked it.:) Thanks for reading.[:D] [:D]
     
  15. cupid7

    cupid7 Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Aug 10, 2004
    Your first efffort and you chose poetry, the hardest literary form to write, and rhyming poetry at that?

    You did great! =D= This is a very comforting poem to read, comforting to know that the two lovers, though they died separately, are reunited in the afterlife. This is an unusual poem also -- I think a love poem between two warriors is a rarity in the mainstream literature.
     
  16. Arwen_Djo

    Arwen_Djo Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Jul 3, 2006
    Cupid7

    Your first efffort and you chose poetry, the hardest literary form to write, and rhyming poetry at that?

    You did great! This is a very comforting poem to read, comforting to know that the two lovers, though they died separately, are reunited in the afterlife. This is an unusual poem also -- I think a love poem between two warriors is a rarity in the mainstream literature.



    Cupid!! Thanks for stopping by! I don't think I've ever written a poem that doesn't rhyme because I'm not exactly sure how it goes together or if it even does...:confused: Anyway, thanks for clicking!
     
  17. Twin_Saber

    Twin_Saber Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Aug 28, 2006
    WOW!!! *Stares ahead with great joy on face* So much J/TK, heh, heh. I'm happy!

    T_S
     
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