Reposting here.... I accidentally started it in the social thread. I figured if people are gonna help to write it, it belongs in a new thread.... Let's start with Threepio, shall we? Anyway, this came about because of Oneal's "Threepio the gay" comment in the social thread. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* The Secret Diary of C3PO: DAY ONE: The Senator's diplomatic ship was ambushed by the Imperials! Big man in sexy black outfit came and kidnapped the Senator. Hrmmm... Man in sexy black outfit seems to have a breathing problem. Or is it? Searching language databanks... *gasp!* Naughty naughty man in sexy black outfit! Oh, my circuits! Later: Artoo strongly urging me to follow him to one of the escape pods. Wonder what he has in mind? Them astromechs are really queer.... Later on Tatooine: Artoo is too aggressive for my tastes. He always seems to want to boss me around. Walked in the opposite direction but missed him terribly after a few hours. Damn. Got picked up by silly little creatures in brown robes. They insist if I don't shut up, they will do something terrible to me. Debated whether to shut up or not, just to find out what they'll do. Ended up shutting up. (I can be a coward sometimes... okay, not just sometimes....) At least now I've found Artoo. Bless the Maker! Still later on: Silly little creatures in brown robes turned out to be Jawas. They plan on selling us too! Hope our new masters are nice.... We were sold to a family called the Skywalkers. My new master, Luke, should really get a haircut. He won't be getting girls looking like that. Should I tell him that? No. At least if he doesn't get girls, me and Artoo will have him all to ourselves.... Ah, my new master wants to give me an oil bath. Dreamy...... I think he likes me already. Hope Artoo doesn't get jealous.... Hey! Master is looking at Artoo queerly! He's trying to.... *gasp!* No, Master! Don't! Oh! Whew! He was only trying to clean Artoo. Seems there's something jammed in Artoo's circuitry. If I ever get out of this oil bath, I swear, I will kill him if he tries anything! Master Luke got that jammed disk to play and it showed the pretty Senator. Master seems enamoured. Will shut up and not tell about what I know. Yes, I think Master fancies the Senator. Wonder if he fancies droids.... ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Someone care to write Day 2? Heheheheheh.