Saga - PT "The Secrets of Sewosta" (OCs, clones wars short story - COMPLETED)

So now the dust has settled on this a bit I wanted to do a big thank you to everyone who stuck with it to the end!

 

Cannot believe this fic is over! Good twist at the end and a bow to the title of the fic!

Most padawans have their secrets in the SW universe.

 

Chapters 11-15

Once again, I regret that Findswoman had come here (long) before me, especially since she is always able to express herself in a humanly readable way that makes sense and I'm not, but I'll try to add something.

You've got to be one of the kings of "kinetic plots", next to Onderon1. The two of you have this ability, or a gift, of saying and showing so much while using a rather modest amount of words. And your stories in particular remind me of fast-paced platform games of the days gone by. One has to open multiple pairs of eyes and engage all the senses while reading them, or somebody could just shoot us from behind some random secret passage in the wall. And Maya is a perfect character for that! A well-trained and smart Padawan. And a girl!

Tekken scared the living carp (hehe) out of me. And then, since this is anime-meets-videogames-meets-SW, OF COURSE that there was a tentacled monster. Made perfect sense to me.

And I am glad that things ended well. And yeah, I quite like Syrrulus and I want to see what's behind his love/hate sentiments regarding the Jedi. If this is not in the second story - and yeah, I could have downloaded the PDFs, but I enjoy the thrill of group commenting - my eyes will go yellow and I'm going to be very, very mad.

 

Ewok Poet : Yes, Findswoman is very good, isn't she? But I think you express yourself just fine, and I thank you for taking the time do so.

I haven't heard the term "kinetc plots" before, but I think I like it! I'll take that compliment with both hands and run! I must also check out this Onderon1 .

It's insightful that you mention platform games: This story was adapted from a RPG, and the GM admitted afterward that he based it upon computer games (He's a big Final Fantasy fan). While playing it I felt like I was playing the Tenchu ninja playstation game.

LOL @ the tentacle monster comment . I'm working on a new Star Trek story and intend to use that "I've seen enough anime to know where this is going..." meme.

I'm afraid to say that Syrrulus doesn't come back for a while. Sorry... please don't Force choke me.

Thanks again for giving your precious time. It is appreciated!

K

 

Kurisan - A fun little read, here. You've got some excellent skills, and Maya is a likeable, intelligent Padawan.

I'm honored that Ewok Poet mentioned me. I'll check out some more of your work - keep it up.

- Onderon1

 

Okay, I'm finally here and reading your entire series for realz (as opposed to just skimming through posts and thinking, "this looks good") which also means that you can expect reviews on your other Maya Qwan stories in the coming days.

I just binge-read this one after coming back from work, and I had to force myself to come to the computer and leave a review -- because what I really want to do right now is to crash on the couch and read The Clones of Kamino

I really enjoyed the way you wrote this in short bursts, with a lot of action and chapter endings that set the stage for what will happen next and leave the reader waiting for more. It was a brilliant narrative trick to have Maya understand the lesson of her training from chapter 1 at the end of the story in order to provide a resolution. More generally Maya is a very interesting character, and I particularly liked the bits and pieces of description that you peppered throughout the story. It really helps visualise a teenager who still needs to finish growing up. Similarly, her personality was well-depicted and she comes across as a believable Padawan who has learned a lot from the Jedi Order, but still has a lot to learn.

Like everyone else I want to know more about Syrrulus and Tekken, who they are, where they came from and how they found themselves becoming what they are, but I'm assuming that's in the next stories? Clones of Kamino, here I come!