Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Darth_Vastor, Jul 1, 2005.
one of the best fan fic i eva read
Hmmmm...this is interesting. The thought of this sort of fanfic never crossed my mind. Keep it up!
Hello everyone. I'm going to be going on a two-week vacation starting tommorrow. This does not mean that I will not be posting! Every time I have access to a computer, I'm going to sit down and write so I can keep getting posts up. Just warning you that it won't be a regular thing.
I'm sorry about this, because I'm having just as much fun writing this story as it sounds like you are reading it. So I will keep on working over vacation; it'll just be less frequent.
Perhaps the greatest thing about this story is everything that Obi-Wan feels is justified. Even when he becomes a Sith Lord, we all know he's going to want to kill Palpatine as soon as he learns all he needs to from Sidious the Hideous. Anxious to see how Anakin reacts to the tale of Darth Plagueis.
Despite the fact that Anakin may still be reckless and arrogant, he seems somewhat more mature in this story. Is it possible that by showing more maturity and rationality, Mace and the others might show some more respect or acknowledgment of him, and possibly allow him to come on the mission to arrest Palpatine, or at least try to offer him a better reason as to why he should stay in the Council chamber?
I'm really enjoying this. Looking forward to the next post.
Enjoy your holiday!
Well, I'm back from vacation! And I got a lot of writing done. Unfortunately, my grandparents did not have good internet access, and there was no USB port on their computer, so I couldn't post. Now that I'm home, I have a good long one for you guys.
I'll get to individual responses later, but a big thank you to all of you who reviewed the last post!
SabÃ© Naberrie hurried through the corridors of the Senate Office Building, a plain envelope clutched in her hand and her face flushed. To any casual passerby, it would seem as though she were simply in a hurry to reach her destination, but the pink tinge on SabÃ©?s face had nothing to do with physical exertion. It had rather more to do with the mental exertion of keeping her thoughts off of a certain Jedi Master.
For the past standard day, she had been lost in a kind of blissful stupor. Obi-Wan Kenobi, the man who had captured her heart thirteen years ago and never let it go, was back in her life. And he had kissed her. He, a universally revered Jedi Master and war hero, had kissed her, a poor peasant girl-turned-handmaiden from an obscure Mid-Rim world. While she had been dreaming about it for over a decade, it could not compare to the real thing. She had felt wanted, she had felt happy, and she had felt complete. And oh had it felt good!
Naturally, PadmÃ© had begun to get suspicious of her behavior. She was quite possibly the hardest woman in the galaxy to fool. So, SabÃ© had taken the first opportunity to get out of the apartment and away from PadmÃ©?s piercing gaze. The first opportunity had been a courier mission to Senator Organa?s office. PadmÃ© had given her the envelope and told her that she was to deliver it only to Senator Organa, that she was not to look inside, and that she was to answer no questions that anyone directed at her about it. SabÃ© had agreed, of course, but was a little upset that PadmÃ© did not trust her with whatever information was enclosed in the envelope. PadmÃ© had picked up on this too, and had reassured her that she would explain everything when SabÃ© returned.
PadmÃ© had also seemed to be extremely content when SabÃ© had greeted her that morning, and SabÃ© was willing to bet a million credits that it had something to do with a certain tall, blond Jedi with an artificial hand had a mischievous grin that she had encountered leaving the apartment the previous morning. Anakin had greeted her with a bow and a quick pinch on the cheek for which SabÃ© had given him a playful slap on the back of the head. She could not think of a more perfect match for her best friend than Anakin, whom she had come to love as a brother. Whenever SabÃ© saw Anakin and PadmÃ© together, she could see that there was no hint of discord in their relationship, but only the pure, unconditional love of two people who had given themselves entirely to each other, consequences be damned. She knew deep down that that was exactly what she herself wanted.
But would Obi-Wan want that? He was a much more rigid follower of the Jedi Code than Anakin; he would not be as willing to risk everything just to be with her. There was a good chance that he would break off contact with her after what had happened two days ago, that he would turn his back on her and leave her stranded in cold darkness without light or warmth to guide her. She must not get her hopes up; she would only end up having them crushed. But hadn?t she paid enough already? Didn?t she deserve a little happiness in her own life?
She was failing miserably in the whole point of her excursion, which was to clear her head and deliver the important envelope to Senator Organa. Fighting back tears, she wrenched her mind into an empty state and pressed on.
She arrived in Senator Organa?s office five minutes later, and was directed to the reception room. A tired-looking Twi?lek receptionist whose bright purple skin had faded to a pale mauve directed her to a chair and told her that the Senator would see her in just a few minutes.
Welcome back, Vastor. I really appreciated the dialogue with Mace Windu. That was the best part of the update.
Welcome back! What a wonderful update!!!!
I loved what Obi-Wan said to Pablo Jill in the Council chambers... it shows so well how he is changing....
*turns to Obi-Wan* That is it, Jedi, come join the Dark Side... Oh, did I say that outloud?
Again, amazing job!
Nice new update. It's good to see that you haven't abandoned this story.
Obi-Wan seems like he is slowly but surely going to lose it. Will he be evil like Anakin was, thinking he is actually trying to do something good, or will he be insane evil, as in insane to the point where he would ride a nuke to the ground, laughing the whole time?
What is happening to Anakin? Despite the fact that he still seems to have some inner demons to work with, he seems somewhat more rational as far as dealing with his emotions are concerned, and his opinions seem to be somewhat more thoughtful and rational as well. Is there a chance that Anakin may end up staying one of the good guys?
How will his conversation with Mace effect him also? Is it possible that he might respect Mace more, and trust his decision more, even if he has a different opinion?
Because of Anakin thinking and acting somewhat more in control and rationally, how will the other Jedi, specifically the Council members view him? Will they still consider him a liability, or someone who can't be trusted, or is it possible that at least a couple of them, especially Mace, might try to include him some more, especially in dealing with Palpatine?
First off, welcome back, Vastor! Hope you had a great time!
Now, on to my review...
Anakin had greeted her with a bow and a quick pinch on the cheek for which SabÃ© had given him a playful slap on the back of the head. She could not think of a more perfect match for her best friend than Anakin, whom she had come to love as a brother. Whenever SabÃ© saw Anakin and PadmÃ© together, she could see that there was no hint of discord in their relationship, but only the pure, unconditional love of two people who had given themselves entirely to each other, consequences be damned. She knew deep down that that was exactly what she herself wanted.
Well, they certainly act like a sis and bro from time to time it seems. And I'm glad to see that she fully embraces the concept of A&P as a couple. She's geniunely happy for them and can see that they were made for eachother.
SabÃ© heard something crash to the floor as he disappeared into the hallway. The Bothan must have taken out his frustration on a potted plant.
I couldn't help but get a little chuckle out of that.
"Unless you having something meaningful to contribute, I suggest you silence yourself, or I will do it for you."
Oooh damn! I firgured he'd give Jill a verbal smackdown, but I never expected this! He practically threatened to kill him!...And I love it!
"Master Jill should not have expressed his feelings like that. He went too far."
I'm gobsmacked again! Mace actually stood up for Anakin! I like it!
Mace smiled. "I?m sure that if your places were reversed, he would be saying the exact same thing about you. The two of you combined form something greater than the sum of its parts, a deadly force the likes of which the galaxy has rarely seen. But even separate, you and he are strong. Do not underestimate yourself, or Obi-Wan. I have faith that both of you will do your duty well."
And he complements him! What next? Is Yoda going give him the keys to a secret underground hotsprings run by Twil'ek girls? I mean you're on a roll here!
"I can see that you?re surprised that I?m being supportive. I know that you have not learned to expect much from the Council. You probably expected me to dismiss your concerns as foolish, and lecture on the virtues of trusting the judgment of others, is that right?"
Good God, maybe I'm more correct then I thought!
"We have given you no reason to trust us, yet we take it for granted that you should. We have wronged you, and I hope that you can forgive us."
This is my last shocked face, and quite frankly I don't think shock can fully express what I'm feeling. I must say that I'm impressed and delighted to see Mace being more friendly to Anakin.
"...I am trying a different approach, speaking to you as a fellow Jedi, rather than as a Master instructing a student. I hope that this will allow us to be more open with each other, and to create an opportunity for trust and respect between us. For I do respect you, Anakin."
I am amazed and delighted to hear this.
This post was truly worth the wait...though I'd rather not wait that long, it was still worth it. Master job, Vastor! Now that you're back, I will be scanning the horizion for more!
Wow... What a way to make a return, Vastor! Very cool post!
I loved SabÃ©'s daydreams! She has it bad!! We females should all be so lucky... *wistful look*
Oh my... Palpster has a Chiss in his employ! And he knows about the Rebellion! Eep! Hope nothing bad happens to PadmÃ© or Bail!
And I just loved this:
?But his mission is here with the Chancellor!? Pablo-Jill spoke vehemently. ?He is already designated for assignment! And is he really the best choice? Young Skywalker has proved himself to be reckless many times. On an operation of this delicacy, can he be trusted to come through? Can he restrain his obvious aggressive tendencies??
If looks could kill, Pablo-Jill would be a smoking pile of ash at that moment. Anakin?s blue eyes were burning with rage at the Jedi Master?s statement. Young Skywalker, was he? Reckless? Not to be trusted? This was open insult. Pablo-Jill was not only doubting Anakin?s skills and judgement, he was doubting him as a Jedi. A rush of hatred swept through him. He had to restrain himself from getting up and rearranging Pablo-Jill?s face. Of course, since the fish?s mouth was already higher than his eyes, there wasn?t much more he could do ?
Pablo-Jill continued. ?Regardless of his military prowess, there are many other qualified candidates ??
?Master Jill,? a quiet, controlled voice halted the other?s tirade. While the voice was calm, it carried a deadly edge that made everyone else listen. ?Your ranting has no point. Anakin?s moral character, which he has proved a thousand times over, is not under question here. What you are saying is completely and utterly irrelevant to the current discussion. You have, I believe, served in one campaign since the Battle of Geonosis? Therefore you are not qualified to discuss military prowess either. Unless you having something meaningful to contribute, I suggest you silence yourself, or I will do it for you.?
*grins maniacly* GO OBI-WAN!!! Way to put Jill in his place! Woo! It's always nice to see 'The Team' defending one another! Excellent passage!!
And Mace Windu is turning out to be not such a jerk after all! That was great to see! Now I'll be hoping that he survives his confrontation with Palpster! I wonder if Anakin will be able to start trusting him... *hopes so*
Again, awesome post! Wonderful writing!
Great update! I loved Mace's talk with Anakin, I think it will help soften Anakin's heart towards the council and bring more respect. I also liked Obi-Wan's threat during the council meeting... evil Obi-Wan is coming to the surface
"He was, after all, a man of the people."
*in my best "granny" voice* 'Yes, honey, that Palpatine is such a sweet old man, wouldn't hurt a flea.'
I just finished reading this through, and I love the subtle changes you are making in Obi-Wan and Anakin.
Thank you, Ani-maniac, for telling me about it. It is a very interesting AU! I can't wait to read more!
Finalement*! An update!
Wonderful, as usual. I chuckled internally when Obi-Wan threatened Pablo-Jill, and when the Bothan (is that Borsk Fey'lya?) lost his temper. Please update sooner!
* French for "Finally".
For the first time in a while, you don't have to wait two weeks for a post! Shocking, isn't it?
After this post, things are really going to start getting serious, and I will be making some big changes from the movie storyline. The parts I'm most eager to write are drawing nearer, so get ready. First, the responses.
Ace Venom: Mace Windu is one of the better characters in the prequels. I thought he should be a little more open-minded though, so I decided to portray him that way.
AP4EVER: That proverb perfectly sums up what I was thinking. Thank you for posting it! And I could be wrong here, but I think you liked the Anakin and Mace conversation just little bit.
AngelQueen: Quite a bit of feedback! You seem to have started a trend. My favorite passage to write was Obi-Wan?s outburst at Pablo-Jill, so I?m very glad that you liked it so much.
Ani-maniac: Another fan of Obi-Wan?s little lapse. Dear, dear, one might think you were encouraging him. Wink. I see you?ve been promoting this story. Thank you for telling Star Drifter about it!
jpauln: I see the Mace conversation was very popular. I thought that since Anakin is getting the cold shoulder from the rest of the Council, at least one of them besides Obi-Wan should be on his side.
Star Drifter: Yeah, Palpatine is twisting his words here. The sad thing about it is many of the people do believe him. I?m glad Ani-maniac told you about this story. A new reader is always welcome!
Hyperion51: You have a lot of questions! I?ll try to answer them.
Obi-Wan is an inherently good person, but as ROTS proved, even people who are fundamentally good a heart can be lead to becoming evil. Obi-Wan is going to end up deluded, fighting for a cause he believes is right, and to fulfill it, he will have to perform some despicable acts.
Anakin is going to follow a lighter path than in ROTS. However, as he is still emotional volatile, he will have major issues to deal with, especially when pushed to the breaking point. He will respect Mace more, and have more faith in him than other Council members. Keep in mind though, most other members are not well disposed toward him, and he is going to feel resentful, as was illuminated by his loss of control in the dueling room.
The other Masters are blinded by arrogance, and maybe even jealously. It is unlikely that they would come around, even if they were given the chance.
Zaphod_Kenobi: Yes, an update, finalement! I?m trying to keep them coming, so don?t worry. I haven?t forgotten! No, the Bothan in the story is not Borsk Fey?lya, just a random aristocrat. Borsk was where I got the idea though.
Twelve standard hours, the Commander had informed him. It was early morning now; in twelve hours the cruiser would depart for Utapau and the operation to bring General Grievous to justice would commence. Twelve hours to resolve any unfinished business here on Coruscant. A generous timetable, by most accounts. For Obi-Wan, twelve hours was not going to be nearly enough.
There were so many things to say to so many different people, and he wanted to do justice to all of them. He had never been one for long goodbyes, but on this mission there was a very real chance that he was not going to be coming back. He owed his friends at least one more chance to see him. And he had half a day to do it.
However, before he made rounds at the Temple, he had something more important to take care of. He had not heard from Anakin since the Council meeting. His friend was shielding from him. Again.
Obi-Wan sighed. He was deeply worried about Anakin, and his friend?s recent behavior was not helping matters. Obviously Anakin?s disgust with the Council had not been helped by Pablo-Jill?s charming little speech, but it couldn?t be the sole cause of Anakin?s distress. He was always able to deal with his feelings against the Council. This was something far more serious.
Obi-Wan wished that he
I hope Sabe gets her wish that Obi comes back alive and in one piece, but I think she won't. He may come back alive, but I sense that he won't be in one piece at all, at least not emotionally.
Can't wait to see how you write his actual fall to the dark side; his shatterpoint, as it were.
Keep up the good work.
*grins like a sap*
Well, in Obi-Wan's case, the Code and all it's rules are shot to hell, much like Anakin's case. And I, for one, couldn't be happier! Woo! Go Obi and SabÃ©!
Outstanding post, Vastor! I was elated to see another one so soon! It and the one posted just a few days before really hit home just how starved I was for this story! I'm so glad to see it being posted again.
So, PadmÃ© wants the Resistance to start contacting the Jedi, or Anakin at the least. And that scene between PadmÃ© and Obi-Wan was so touching. And it was great that Obi-Wan knew then and there that he would never tell the Council - stuck-up twits that most of them are - about the love between PadmÃ© and Anakin. Perhaps he knows deep inside that it would make him quite the hypocrite if he did so, having already lost his heart to everyone's favorite handmaiden!
Again, excellent post! This is such a joy to read!
Force, this woman was perceptive! She had cracked his carefully practiced casual faÃ§ade with very little effort. It was a pity PadmÃ© couldn?t touch the Force, she would be on the Council in a week.
"You should be a Jedi, PadmÃ©," he said, grinning.
She returned the grin. "You?re not very good a hiding your feelings."
Regardless, if she was Force-Sensitive, I'd be willing to bet big money that she'd be a very formidable Jedi. I mean, if she can keep the Chosen One on his toes without the power of the Force, imagine what she could do if she did!
Now it was Obi-Wan?s turn to be in the know. He carefully gazed at PadmÃ©?s face. Practiced politician look or not, she was hiding something.
"Neither of you is very good at hiding your feelings for each other."
Obi-Wan pressed on. "I know how he feels about you."
There was a crack in PadmÃ©?s guard now. She was nervous, he could tell. "What has he told you?"
Obi-Wan shook his head. "Nothing. He didn?t have to."
The jig is up!
"PadmÃ©," Obi-Wan entreated. "Am I right? Do you love him?"
PadmÃ© did not speak for a moment. Then she nodded.
"Yes," she said softly. "More than life."
There was no reservation here. Anakin and PadmÃ© were not infatuated; they were truly, deeply, in love with each other.
I found this to be the most powerful section of the entire post...And I love it! Need I say why?
One thing was certain. After what he had just heard, he was never, ever, going to tell the Council about this
YES! Go Obi!
"You?" he asked causally. "Why would I need to say goodbye to you?"
... YOU IDIOT!!!
And as he watched her now, he knew he couldn?t deny it anymore.
He loved her too.
Great! Now, kiss and make up!
Forgetting any reservations he may have had, he gave all his attention over to SabÃ©. The Jedi Master and the Senator?s handmaiden fell into a world of love and ecstasy in which no bonds, real or imagined, could hold them.
Even better than I expected!
He had done it. He had broken the code, shattered the rule of celibacy, and made a complete mockery of the decrees of the Council. He had done all for the sake of the beautiful woman who now lay sleeping in his arms.
He smiled as he gazed at SabÃ©?s face. And I don?t care.
He has seen the light and embraced it!!!
You never cease to amaze me, Vastor. I do believe you've outdone yourself! The description of this post would be no less than an emotional rollercoaster. And I'm enjoying the ride! Can't wait to read more!
I just read this all the way through and I cannot express myself, all I can ask is one thing, will you keep me updated by PM?
I find this very very facinating, it'll be interesting to see how the story turns when you do make Obi - Wan fall to the darkside.
But one thing after reading this:
He had done it. He had broken the code, shattered the rule of celibacy, and made a complete mockery of the decrees of the Council. He had done all for the sake of the beautiful woman who now lay sleeping in his arms.
Uh, we couldn't by any chance, have an R - rated PM version of this could we?
Obi-Wan got up and followed her. Her words had cut him deeply, but he did not blame her. He had deserved it. Every word.
Yes. He had. But I'm glad they got together even still.
Awesome chapters! This story is really great!
Bad, Obi-Wan! Shame on you! At least Anakin was married!
If you were here, I'd you.
The last two chapters were simply amazing. I love that Mace approced Anakin, he is a character I really love(but at times really hate, he can be such a dork about Anakin). I've always felt that Mace and Anakin could be really good friend if Mace would stop freaking out on Ani. They are actually very similar. I loved the council meeting and Obi-wan trash that Jill guy. And you have my favorite "I wish it had been in the movie" part with Obi-wan and Padme. And it had added meaning in your story with the changes that Obi-wan is going through and his feelings for Sabe. I think I babbling a little know but in my defence it's 3am but I HAD to read this when I saw you updated and I coundn't not respond to the awesomness of these chapter! Wonderful job!