Saga The Short Attention Span Theater- Fanfiction! The Musical- You've got to have heart!

Mindtricks don't work on the IRS, only money.

 

What if I stop at various Bath and Body Works store while I'm over there and ask how their numbers are for the quarter? I'd be talking business, right? So then we'd be able to write it off as a business trip...of sorts

 

We could go to Paraguay. I found out today that they have a flat tax rate of 10 percent.

 

Sweet... We might have to relocate, then. Is it under Communist rule or something like that? That might not be the best of ideas, then.

 

I'm sure we could hire Golden_Jedi to keep us protected.

 

No more tax suggestions. You'll give me nightmares!

Oh and HandmaidenVeme the answer is no, and palpyisgod2, flat taxes do not always mean that you pay less tax, it depends on the circumstances. Now I'm off to go find me something else to look at because from personal experience Star Wars fan fiction and taxes are not a good combination.

 

Why? You start calculating what Leia and Han would have to pay under Imperial and Rebel tax laws?

 

Nope, trying to figure out if Jabba the Hutt can take the earned foreign income credit since he lives on Tatooine. True story actually.

I was taking tax in the fall of 2004 and I had a bad habit of watching Episodes IV-VI (they had just come out on DVD) while doing my tax homework. When I say "watching," it was more like background noise since I was not paying attetion to it real closely. However, it was a bit of a distraction since Star Wars was way more interesting than tax code and I hated that class with a passion.

Anyways, that class ended up stressing me out big time because it was the only accounting course I took that did not come easy to me. As such, I spent long hours going through material, the problem is when I would finally put it away for the night, my mind was still going through tax formulas so I would end up dreaming tax problems. The Star Wars piece comes in because even though I might not have been focusing on the DVDs, having them on as background noise created a connection to my homework enough so that was in my dreams as well. The day I had the particular nightmare referenced above was the day I turned off the TV while studying that semester.

The nightmares did stop once I did that and I went back to my bad haits of having the TV or a movie playing while doing homework in the Spring of 2005. Of course, when I went for my Masters Degree a year later, I made sure my plan of study did not include tax.

 

Let's not talk about taxes in here. One, because it is a sad and tragic topic. Two, because there's an update to comment on.

Speaking of! The repeated instances of government agents making off with pieces of the set/costumes/props/authors running through the update was a nice gag. Though if you make enough money on your fanfiction musical to satisfy Uncle Sam, what happens when Uncle George comes a calling?

 

We've got a contract with the GAG--the Georgeian Actors Guild--where if we agree to restrict the characters' activities to this thread and all franchises associated with it, we can use them.

 

Nice update!

 

DARK_JEDI_LOVER: (Glumly) It looks like we?re going to have to sell out three shows?

EXACCIEL: Which means we need a really great plot? well, actually, any plot at all.

ANAKINSFAVORITE: Oh, I?m sure that we have one of those around here somewhere?

LOL! I think I saw baby Aiden playing with one the other day...

 

Behind the Scenes

Chaos has begun its reign, as we all knew it would. After all, there is precious little time to spare before the Short Attention Span Theater will be forced to resemble The Planet or whatever that snobby place in England's called. Maybe it was The Globe.

Anyway, the point is, when VA_PARKY disappeared, she left three yards of spare polyester and her Bedazzler. These do not Ye Olde Elizabethan Faire make! So, instead, everyone is improvising costumes based on what they remember from Shakespeare in Love and Elizabeth: The Golden Age.

TIGEROFROBARE has salvaged the tutu from earlier and after a nasty attack of the pinking shears from the crafts closet, it sort of looks like a ruff.

RK_STRIKER_JK_5 raided his mom's closet and found nylons, which he apparently thought were the same thing as hose. He also cut up one of his black shirts to look more like a doublet and is now moaning that he ruined a perfectly good black shirt. It's no big loss--he owns nothing but black shirts, after all. Possibly.

The MODS, eager to help any hapless user on their road to self-humiliation, have scrounged up a few Miss America castoffs that can pass as Elizabethan gowns if you ignore the sequins and bare midriffs.

At the front, SITHGIRL is practicing her lines in front of a captive audience of AIDEN and OLIVIA. OLIVIA fell asleep sometime during the last run-through of the "Wherefore art thou Romeo" crap, but AIDEN seems fascinated by the silly lady making weird sounds. Besides, he's her prompter in case she forgets her lines.

The only thing is that the girl insists upon singing her lines in opera? and doesn?t know that the baby?s mother had thought ahead and given him earplugs.

SITHGIRL132: (Warbles) Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow...and tomorrow... Wait, how many tomorrows are there supposed to be?

AIDEN sticks the offending scene's edge in his mouth and blinks at her.

SITHGIRL132: Wait, is that even my line? When do I get to that one part?

She bends and yanks the script away from AIDEN. His face crumples, but she flips through until she finds the right page.

SITHGIRL132: OUT, DAMN, SPOT! OUT, I SAY!

AIDEN momentarily forgets that she took his toy and chortles as he wanders off in search of a new toy.

AIDEN: DAMDAMDAMDAMDAMDAM...

SITHGIRL132: NO! NO! I like your mommy! Your mommy would kill me! You're too young to be saying that! AIDEN!

She runs after him, revealing a tableau of ANAKIN_HEARTBREAKER and PALPYISGOD2 in the classic roles of Romeo and Juliet. He is flexing in front of the nearest mirror and hasn't bothered to change into something more suitable for the scene--he's only there to balance out the scene and make the female audience members drool. It's not working too well for his Juliet, who can't get him to concentrate on something other than his bicep curls.

PALPYISGOD2: Romeo, oh, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name?

ANAKIN_HEARTBREAKER: Is this going to take long? The gym's closing soon! LOL!

PALPYISGOD2: (Slightly hysterical, she throws her entire script down on the ground) Verily it is quite important! By my...um...TROTH! Yes, by my troth thou art a man of many guises, civil as an orange. Now, FROM THE TOP or verily forsooth I'll bite my thumb at thee!

ANAKIN_HEARTBREAKER (In a monotone as he ties his shoelaces) ButsoftwhatlightthroughyonderwindowbreaksitistheeastandJulietisthesun...

PALPYISGOD2: (Wails) AUTHORS!

ANAKINSFAVORITE runs on stage, holding up her skirts and wearing a wimple.

ANAKINSFAVORITE: Is everyone ready? We just finished the publicity tour and people are queuing up already! I think we might actually pull this off! Where are my kids?

AIDEN wanders back, still chanting his new word.

AIDEN: DAMDAMDAMDAMDAMDAM...

Alarmed, ANAKINSFAVORITE scoops him up with one arm and starts gesticulating wildly with the other. AIDEN forgets his word and instead starts trying to pull off Mommy

 

I got first reply! Yay!
Shakespeare, methinks, is an easy subject to parody! Ahh, so much fun and now I have a plot bunny (sigh). No, I did not teach Aiden that word...
Darth Taxes is just as scary as DWB! *runs and hides*

 

That is incorrect! I do, in fact, own a maroon shirt as well.

Anyway, brilliant take on the Bard, you awesome authoresses. *Thumbs through hamlet in Klingon* Hmm, might need to gargel after this...

 

Turn a tutu into a ruff? That'd be a midruff wouldn't it?

Nylons? I hope RK_Striker remembered to shave his legs.

 

I'm not sure the Towel Brigade in tights is worth it... But at least the theater is saved!

 

VADERLVR64:

If you can't be a ham and do Hamlet
They will not give a damn or a damlet

AIDEN: DAMDAMDAMDAM!

DARK_JEDI_LOVER:

Just recite an occasional sonnet
And your lap'll have honey upon it!



I just love how Aiden chimed in here...

Ophelia and flowers? Intriguing. And I shoved money into someone else's purse. Cool.

Thanks for the PM.

 

Thanks for the PM! Reading this was the perfect way to start out my weekend.

 

DARTHISHTAR: (Pointing a finger) Don't you sass me! We predicted you into this world and we can kick you out!

But I've got the special keyboard.

[image=http://i177.photobucket.com/albums/w209/Trick_arrow/Gags/BanButton.gif]

1YODIMUS_PRIME: (Stuffing dollar bills into the RETARDED SQUIRREL, replacing the stuffing that had been pulled out of it) I shall never be hungry again? I swear it!

Hands down, best part.

 

I want it to be known that I am not old and I have seen multiple versions of Romeo and Juliet (and I can quote it almost as well as I can Star Wars! ), and I have seen Kenneth Branagh in Hamlet. Oh and if I could, I would be in London right now to go see Othello. I of course would be going for the play, not the fact that Ewan McGregor is in it. HandmaidenVeme will back me up on this!

Anyways...

We are going to need to ban gold bricks from the theater. They are dangerous to cast and audience.

I'd say we institute a swearing jar that we all have to pay into if we let something slip in an attempt to keep from corrupting Aiden and Olivia further, but since we just solved the tax problem after a mad scramble of grabbing money off the stage floor, we probably would not have anything left to put into said jar. So we'll just need to make sure Aiden and Olivia have a set of earplugs.

I am glad our tax issue is solved so I won't have any nightmares. Can't wait for more. Great update!

 

Not to start a political discussion here, but another reason to support Ron Paul: no more IRS.

 

At the front, SITHGIRL is practicing her lines in front of a captive audience of AIDEN and OLIVIA. OLIVIA fell asleep sometime during the last run-through of the "Wherefore art thou Romeo" crap, but AIDEN seems fascinated by the silly lady making weird sounds. Besides, he's her prompter in case she forgets her lines.

Awww... Olivia!!

*hugs Olivia*

SITHGIRL132: OUT, DAMN, SPOT! OUT, I SAY!

AIDEN momentarily forgets that she took his toy and chortles as he wanders off in search of a new toy.

AIDEN: DAMDAMDAMDAMDAMDAM...

LOL! Never say a naughty word in front of a youngling... it always comes back to bite you later on...

AIDEN: DAMDAMDAMDAMDAMDAM...

Alarmed, ANAKINSFAVORITE scoops him up with one arm and starts gesticulating wildly with the other. AIDEN forgets his word and instead starts trying to pull off Mommy's wimple--it looks more uncomfortable than that blasted Tigger costume from the Halloween post.

ANAKINSFAVORITE: WHAT IS THIS? I LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR FIVE MINUTES AND YOU FILL MY CHILDREN'S MINDS WITH FILTH? I THOUGHT THIS WAS A FAMILY-FRIENDLY BOARD!

Whoops!!!

WYOJEDI: Don't look at me. I rinse my mouth out with soap every time I say the H word!

ANAKINSFAVORITE: The H word?

He leans in, looking guilty that he is being forced to say it.

WYOJEDI: Heck.

LMAO!!!! Then I guess I should wash my mouth out with more than soap... *glances around guiltily*

ANAKINSFAVORITE: No, no, nothing as sinister as that. We just needed our afternoon naps!

I'm in desperate need of one right about now... [facet_tired]

Everyone stands and starts doing a conga line around the stage.

If they did a conga line in the Shakespearean play at school, I might have paid more attention..

JEDI-ANT:

To what is my life amounting
It figures, not much

THE_FACE: (Ever the resident psychologist, he whispers to WHISKERS) It sounds like someone needs some therapy? I sense that someone has a bout of depression? or has ADHD. What is the disorder where they?re always glum?

WHISKERS: Ah? that?s schizophrenia.

THE_FACE: (Triumphant!) I knew it!

LMAO!!!

NOOB07:

I wanna be the greatest, grandest
And most fabulous fanfiction writer in the world!

Get in line, n00b! Lol.

NOOB07:

I just gotta be a fanfiction writer
And give carpel tunnel to my wrist!

That's an ambition and a half, lol!


Another wonderful job! Shakespearean insanity is the best!!

Thanks for the PM! It's so great to have this updated today, I was in need of something to put a smile on my dial.



Ant.

 

There is never a wrong time to quote Gone With the Wind
And if you disagree, well frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.


-----------

//There is a loud sound as someone cries out. It turns out to be ANAKIN_HEARTBREAKER, who has been rendered unconscious by a large brick made of?//

MARASFIRE: GOLD! Master! Hoorah! You caught it!


Good face-catch!!

 

SITHGIRL132: OUT, DAMN, SPOT! OUT, I SAY!

AIDEN momentarily forgets that she took his toy and chortles as he wanders off in search of a new toy.

AIDEN: DAMDAMDAMDAMDAMDAM...

SITHGIRL132: NO! NO! I like your mommy! Your mommy would kill me! You're too young to be saying that! AIDEN!

Little kids always know which words they shouldn't say!

ANAKINSFAVORITE: WHAT IS THIS? I LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR FIVE MINUTES AND YOU FILL MY CHILDREN'S MINDS WITH FILTH? I THOUGHT THIS WAS A FAMILY-FRIENDLY BOARD!

WYOJEDI: Don't look at me. I rinse my mouth out with soap every time I say the H word!

ANAKINSFAVORITE: The H word?

He leans in, looking guilty that he is being forced to say it.

WYOJEDI: Heck.

I don't know why but that really cracked me up.

She takes center stage and tries to look vaguely like Michael Keaton, since he is the only unshaven American to ever make that role look good.

I'll have to go see it.

Actually, a new group has come in, including MARASFIRE and AMIDALA66, who all seem to have only seen the Leonardo Dicaprio version of Romeo and Juliet. They're all sporting freakish denim, bustieres and weird hairstyles.

Oh, God. And for future reference, that is not the only Romeo and Juliet I've seen...but I have seen that one. Didn't like it, actually. (LOL! )

DARTHISHTAR: Well, if we don't totally rock this place tonight, there's no point in doing the other two shows. We'll never make enough money!

ANAKINSFAVORITE: (Angrily to ISH) Is this your idea of a pep talk?

DARTHISHTAR: Oprah volunteered, but I'm not letting anyone in here who votes for Obama. I'll have to fill in.

The unpredictability of where you guys are going and what you're gonna make fun of next is so hilarious!

RK_STRIKER_JK_5: I have Hamlet in the original Klingon!

If that actually exists, I'd be worried...

Okay, um, that Shakespearan song was awesome. There's no best parts of the song...it's all great.

DARTHBERRYSTRAW: Erm? Well, I guess that is beside the point. She pounds her fist into her left hand to emphasize her point. No! We are writers! And we should be finding the MOD OF TRUTH, not wasting our time on a lost cause! We cannot save this theater!



NOOB07:

I wanna be a fanfiction writer
With a hit story on the Net
I wanna be a fanfiction writer
Posting for people I?ve never met
I wanna be a fanfiction writer
Sport an icon and screen name
I wanna be a fanfiction writer
For my brief moment of pure fame!



There is a loud sound as someone cries out. It turns out to be ANAKIN_HEARTBREAKER, who has been rendered unconscious by a large brick made of?

MARASFIRE: GOLD! Master! Hoorah! You caught it!

Haha!

And what's wrong with only owning black shirts?