Saga The Short Attention Span Theater- Fanfiction! The Musical- You've got to have heart!

Hamlet wasn't originally written in Klingon, but it has been translated.

 

Have you never seen Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country? One of my favorite lines is that you have never truly enjoyed Hamlet "until you have read it in the original Klingon." Yes, it's a Klingon who says that.

 

My first contact with Romeo and Juliet was, oddly enough, in German... and the book was printed in Gothic. But I swear, I'm not THAT old!

Excelent post, ladies!

 

Yes, I can atest to the fact the Jmsbndgrl is only interested in the play because of it's cultural and moral value and NOT I repeat NOT because a certain Mr. McGregor just so happens to be part of the cast which is so huge that she probably wouldn't be able to pick him out even while sitting in the front row, and the only reason why she would be sitting in the front row would be because she wants to capture every nuance that the actors breathe into their performance, and the only reason why she would be waiting around after a performance would be to congratulate the actor, er actors on their riveting portrayal of their character and to find out what made them portray their character the way they did , what drives them , what motivates them, what kind of underwear are they wearing if they're wearing any at all, what type of wine they like red or white, you know these are things very important to my dear friend. It's all part of research...(psst...jmsbndgrl, do you think they bought it?)

Anyway, *holding a bag of frozen peas to the goose egg forming on A_H head* I wouldn't worry to bad about the banning of gold bricks. I mean they're GOLD so where's the harm? It's not like anyone was seriously hurt or anything. *splashes cold water on A_H's face to keep him from falling asleep and whispers to Amidala66 something about the importance keeping someone with a slight concussion awake*

LMAO update!!! See, I'm using acronyms to keep Aiden curse word free!

 

She wants to be a fanfiction writer
With towels for Jedi that we pick!

Onstage, all of the actors cast worried glances at the ANGELS but decide that it?s best to continue on with the act.

HANDMAIDENVEME:

She wants to be a fanfiction writer
Put Anakin in every fic!

JMSBNDGRL:

Obi-Wan!


LOL!!!!

 

It happened again. I had to play a girl in a sketch during auditions (so did three other guys).

 

Can I be put on the update list?

 

No. We don't take users with the words "moose" or "mouse" in their names



Of course We'd be happy to have you.

I think I've officially used my quota of emocions for the day.

 

Plus it's mousse, not mouse, so your discrimination is irrelevant.

 

WORK, DAMN COMPUTER, WORK I SAY!

My computer was refusing to let me go to the posting page. I felt the need to manipulate Shakespeare's words for my own evil purposes. Mwhaha.

I missed two posts in my DRL/Darth Exams-induced absence, but I needed cheering up today and those posts definitely did the trick! I am now officially singing along with the "Unhappy" song from the Producers. Kind of a coincidence that I watched that in the class I'm peer tutoring a couple days ago. I've had the music running around in my head for a while and the fanfic words slipped in perfectly. Congrats on a fabulous job with those, as always.

Loved the memorial sign on the hospital door in that other post. And the chaotic mayhem! Ah, the poor wee fanfic writers? What are they to do?

...and attempting to write a Scottish accent is even harder than trying to mimick one... ah, me...

I think I'm digressing. And it's not even 8:00 yet. I think I must be caffeine deprived. STARBUCKS!!!

*ahem*

Did I mention before how much I love all the little details from past posts coming back again... and again... and again? Like the Towel Brigade (cracks me up every time I read the name "Towel Brigade") and VA_Parky's sequins (now in real diamonds!) and AF's kids --

AIDEN: DAMDAMDAMDAMDAMDAM--

I think I can hear AF's screams still echoing around up here. Maybe it's time for me to come out of seclusion. I'll perform as much Shakespeare as you want. I'm going to be doing a lot of it in the summer. And probably in the fall too, since I got accepted into all the theatre programs I applied for.

And I'm digressing again. Sorry for the randomness. I think it might have something to do with my very random and weird sociology class. Or the fact that I've been "in seclusion" for such a long time.

Or maybe I'm just caffeine deprived.



Can't wait to read what you two cook up next! I'm sure it will provide me with the humour I need to keep my mind of Darth School.

 

Hey, does that mean a refund on our tuition checks? cause Veterinary studies don't come cheap... (or I could ferret away some of the money being thrown at us... )

And I swear that without Aiden (and Olivia), the Theatre would fall apart completly!

Wierd, wacky and wonderful as always. And insanity indusing according to my family!

~Misha

 

Come on, people! You can't leave it here. I've just had a marathon dying-from-laughter read through, and I want MORE.

Hilarious work so far!

CrazyAni

 

Sorry for the delays. Anyone got a better excuse for why we haven't posted other than AF having two kids and a lot of schoolwork and me having bronchitis, sinus infection and an ear infection?

 

Hmmm . . .

How about this: the computer the next post is stored on accidentally interecepted top-secret government comuniques detailing a conspiracy to overthrow democracy. So the various intelligence agencies were sent after you, resulting in a thrilling chase across the country and a Mexican stand-off in an underground volcano lair with man-eating sharks from which you were saved in the nick of time by members of a secret society set up by the Founding Fathers to protect the Constitution?

(Disney then paid you a large amount of money to turn it into the plot of the next National Treasure movie.)

 

Latest excuse for not posting: AF has sort of dropped off the face of the earth for a bit. Wherever she is, we wish her well and wish she were here. We'll post when I have her back.

 

Behind the Scenes

The stage is darkened, but we can still see the furniture from the authors' office at center stage. There seems to be a rather large sheepdog parked on the sofa...no, it's actually just DARTHISHTAR taking an untimely nap. This also accounts for the snoring and the occasional bursts of singing.

Without warning, the lights come on. DARTHISHTAR immediately throws an arm over her eyes and starts cussing in Spanish. Fortunately, her visitors don't speak that language so they aren't offended. IDRELLE_MIOCOVANI and JMSBNDGRL stride purposefully into the office, well-equipped to deal with the only author in sight. IDRELLE has a feather and JMSBNDGRL has taken control of the nearest ice bucket.

The office is littered with cans of orange soda, crumpled up papers and forlorn-looking diaper bags that are covered in a layer of dust. There is no sign of ANAKINSFAVORITE or her kids and DARTHISHTAR is still wearing her costume from the last scene. ANAKINSFAVORITE's wimple is hung on the coat hook on top of TIGEROFROBARE's tutu.

IDRELLE_MIOCOVANI: Ish...

ISH: Que no me digas que he de despertar. Estoy de harta con sus tonterias y quiero mucho chocolate y ceviche. Besame, besame mucho...

With that, she rolls over and goes back to sleep. The two visitors look at each other expectantly.

IDRELLE_MIOCOVANI: Master Ishy, Ian McDiarmid is standing outside shirtless and wants you to costar in a movie with him.

DARTHISHTAR twitches at this, but sighs and snores.

JMSBNDGRL: Ish, the theater's on fire.

DARTHISHTAR: Good. Can someone get me a s'more?

When even the most panic-prone member of the writing staff is apathetic, it is time for drastic measures. IDRELLE_MIOCOVANI peels back the fuzzy green blanket that is covering her Master...and tickles her elbow.

Immediately, ISH shrieks and leaps to her feet. This startles JMSBNDGRL so much that she drops the ice bucket. ISH lands on the spilled ice and goes down with a loud thud.

Finally conscious or at least more alert than she was, ISH glares up at the two well-meaning actresses.

DARTHISHTAR: I'm awake! I'm awake! Now leave me alone and let me get some sleep!

With that, she reaches up to grab the blanket and keels over, ice and all. Unfortunately, these are girls with a mission and they are not to be stopped. While IDRELLE_MIOCOVANI steps over the clutter to reach the desk, JMSBNDGRL tactfully picks up a cube of ice and drops it down DARTHISHTAR's shirt.

DARTHISHTAR (Blinking groggily): I'm an orange belt in tae kwon do, you know.

JMSBNDGRL: Yes, yes, wake up and show us.

IDRELLE_MIOCOVANI: Hey, this is pretty bad...

JMSBNDGRL: What is it? The account books? A suicide note? A ransom note?

IDRELLE_MIOCOVANI (In a whisper): It's ISH's idea book. Just look at this. Parodies of Britney Spears...

DARTHISHTAR (Sings dreamily): Fic Me Baby One More Time...

JMSBNDGRL: That just sounds kinda...wrong...

IDRELLE_MIOCOVANI: It's not as bad as her latest RENT parody?Fic Me or Leave Me.

DARTHISHTAR:

Write me for what I am, who I was meant to be
And if you give a yam
Fic me baby or leave me...

She yawns and goes back to sleep. In fact, it seems as if that's all she intends to do. From the looks of things that's all she's been doing since the last post. Exasperated, IDRELLE crumples the paper in her hand and throws it into the overflowing trash can. Immediately, ISH bolts upright, all narcoleptic tendencies forgotten.

DARTHISHTAR: HEY! That was all I had for the next post! It's got my notes for the Harry Potter spoof and the Mozart Revue. And there's the big finale, the tribute to Wagner!

IDRELLE and JMSBNDGRL turn aside to have a private conversation as if she's not there.

IDRELLE_MIOCOVANI: My gosh, what happened here? I leave them alone for six months and next thing I know, my Master's spouting opera and ANAKINSFAVORITE is nowhere to be seen!

JMSBNDGRL: Well,

 

Hi, all, Ish here. If you look at AF's profile, you'll notice that she hasn't been on since last month. After consulting with a few people, I decided that until we find out what the heck is going on and if she's all right, I'll be writing this. Please bear with me.

 

Oh dear, the backstage is really a mess. Poor Master Ishy. Abandoned and spouting opera and bad ideas... Poor Towel Brigade, in need of more Downy...

DARTHISHTAR (Sings dreamily): Fic Me Baby One More Time...

JMSBNDGRL: That just sounds kinda...wrong...

That does sound kinda wrong.

I wouldn't mind a tribute to Wagner though, having just listened to the Ring Cycle.


IDRELLE_MIOCOVANI: No, I think this explains it. It's the third rewrite of Lest Ye Be Judged. She wrote ?Wordcount: 726,153? at the end. I think she wrote it in a single day



Oh, the horror!

But the best thing is that we've got heart!


Is your computer not working?
Darn
Really, that's a good excuse for leaving us for so long!
Except you forgot to leave a bribe
Let it not happen again
Lucky to be back after your absence.
Excellent that we cheered you up.
My favorite song from The Producers is Unhappy.
I liked that memorial sign, too
Of course it's hard to type in brogue
Caffeine can't help you now
Oh, those little details are fun.
VA_PARKY's sequins are a permanent fixture
And Aiden and Livvy
Now if we could just find AF
I enjoyed writing the whole thing with corrupting Aiden. No problem with the randomness. This post's cooking was mine.



Ish, you are totally amazing for making acrostics out of the author replies.



P.S. Ish, if you need someone to bounce ideas off of while AF's gone, my PM box is open and hopefully I won't randomly disappear.

 

German...gothic
Oh my
LOL
Did you enjoy it in English or German better?
Everyone says it's best in a madeup language
No?
Just kidding
Excited I am that you liked hte post
Do you want more?
I've written more

I'm gonna print that and stick it to my wall!


BTW, I wish everything's fine with AF, I know that maternity+schooling can be VERY trying! Great job, Ish!

 

I mostly worry because even when she gives birth, she tends to show up after a few days to explain herself and tell me how adorable her kids are with each other. Now it's been quite some time and I'm really worried about her.

Idri, the whole thing with "You've got to have heart" is an homage to me being a Red Sox fan. It's from a musical called Damn Yankees! And I love the Ring. It just doesn't fit in with the rest of the musical.

 

Great to see this back. Yes, Kathy knows better, but I still have it! And why will I enjoy the next post, hmm? And I hope AF comes back soon, too.

 

I was wondering why I'd lost all my body hair . . .

 

First, AF if you are reading this, I hope things are going well and you'll come back soon. All your friends here miss you.

Second, Ish, this was great. Actually, they just announced that "Damn Yankees," is coming back to Broadway for a small engagement this summer, so it was a bit of a weird coincidence to see this post after that announcement. Of course, now I'm going to have that song in my head, but maybe that isn't a bad thing. My brother and I went and saw "Young Frankenstein," on Broadway last week and I am a bit tired of having those songs in my head. It was a good show though, if anyone is wondering.

And I must commend you on the author replies, I don't think I would have had the patience for that, but I did enjoy reading them.

 

Those author replies were absolutely fantastic. We need to find AF... must we organize a search party?

 

If anyone actually knows her, please go stalk her. Her best friend hasn't been on in 6 months, so no chance there. And it would kill the pacing to put one more in the plot. She'd agree.