The Simpsons quote-a-thon

Discussion in 'New Jersey' started by TI-0694, Nov 12, 2004.

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  1. TI-0694 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2004
    star 1
    One of my all-time favorite exchanges.



    Insurance salesman: Now before we give you health insurance, I have to ask you a few questions.

    Homer: Questions? Questions?? Oh...my whole scheme down the--I mean ask away.

    Insurance salesman: Oh good. Now, under heart attacks, you crossed out three and wrote zero.

    Homer: Oh..hehe. I thought that said brain hemorrhages.

    Insurance salesman: Uh-huh...and do you drink?

    Homer: I do enjoy a snifter of port at Christmas.

    Insurance salesman: Okay. Here's your policy.

    Homer: Now let me tell you something Mr. Sucker. I just--

    Insurance salesman: Oh hold on there. You still have to sign it first.

    Homer: Oh.
  2. BellaSabrina Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 13, 2002
    star 4
    Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure... not even close.
  3. MatthewZ Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 21, 2003
    star 4
    [Smithers] Well thats our last female competitor, now lets bring on the MEN! [Smithers]
  4. TI-0694 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2004
    star 1
    Homer: Sometimes dogs or people hate you for no reason.
  5. TI-0694 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2004
    star 1
    Straight off of the clock:

    Homer: But Marge, valet! For once maybe someone will call me sir...without adding, 'you're making a scene.'
  6. BellaSabrina Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 13, 2002
    star 4
    Homer: Sometimes dogs or people hate you for no reason.


    *dies laughing* that works appropriately.
  7. tweekavich Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 12, 2005
    star 1
    Homer to Krusty when he was a stand up comic at Moes.

    Homer: DON'T YOU HATE PANTS!!!

    ---------------------------------

    When Ralph took Lisa to the Krusty show and he spilt chocolate ice cream on her dress.

    Chief Wiggum: Oh, nothing gets chocolate out...see(points to pants)

    --------------------------------

    When homer got a job at Hank Scorpios nuclear power plant and later quits becasue it wasnt wokring out


    Hank: Oh, and Homer, if you could kill a couple of people on your way out, it would really help...
  8. DarthGyos Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 23, 2001
    star 4
    Homer: Barney, am I a pig?

    Barney: You're as much of a pig as I am Homer *BUUURRRRPP*

    ~DG~
  9. BellaSabrina Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 13, 2002
    star 4
    Hens love roosters, geese love ganders. Everyone else loves Ned Flanders!

    NOT ME!!


    *dies laughing*
  10. FenigDurak Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 6, 2002
    star 4
    Allen Wrench: I need tungston to live! TUNGSTON!

    -=just visiting! HI ED!=-
  11. DarthGyos Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 23, 2001
    star 4
    Barney:

    I'm taking Barbershop to strange new places:

    #8...BURP
    #8...BURP
    #8...BURP

    ~DG~
  12. BellaSabrina Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 13, 2002
    star 4
    Bart: You could be my father figure.

    Homer: No thanks. I don't want my fingerprints all over that mess.
  13. hchristensenfan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 24, 2003
    star 4
    The other day one of my friends was wearing a shirt with Mr. Burns on it with the word "Excellent" on it.
  14. BellaSabrina Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 13, 2002
    star 4
    There's one with Homer lying on the couch that says,
    American Idle.

    It's great.
  15. TI-0694 Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Nov 11, 2004
    star 1
    BAH! Nothing beats my Duffman shirt.

    OH YEAH!!!
  16. BellaSabrina Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Oct 13, 2002
    star 4
    When Gary and I saw it, we HAD to get it for you.
  17. Onasi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2003
    star 4
    who can take your trash out? the garbageman can!
  18. DarthGyos Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 23, 2001
    star 4
    G.K. Willy: That's not how you vwing!!!

    ~DG~
  19. mikadojedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 25, 2003
    star 4
    Two favorites.

    G-d to Homer in "Homer the Heretic

    G-d: I'm due to appear on a tortilla in Tijauanna.
  20. MatthewZ Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 21, 2003
    star 4
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