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The Sith Order: Planning Thread

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Lord Sith, Jan 10, 2000.

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  1. JediGaladriel

    JediGaladriel Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 3, 1999
    Ah, but does it have poetry?

    Rover -- I cheated; I just used the same stanza that Stephen King used in his novel "The Waste Lands." I have actually read the whole Eliot poem, but it was a long time ago, and I didn't feel like going back for it. I'd just kept using rock shadows, and I remembered the "Come in under the shadow of this red rock" line. I threw in the "handful of dust" bit at the end of the scene as a tip of the hat to the poem; it's a little heavy-handed, probably. But I just love the line "I will show you fear in a handful of dust."

    Anyone who wants to throw in an "Ozymandias" reference... (Sorry, reference to some other threads. Seems to be a popular poem at the JC.)
  2. Loka Hask

    Loka Hask Jedi Master star 3

    Jul 12, 1999
    basically had a little thing between Olan and Jastiss. Olan got upset that Jastiss wanted to be a Jedi, so he tested Jastiss himself, and well, to put it bluntly, Jastiss failed miserably. Olan did this to prove how hard it would be to not only become a Jedi, but to continue to be one.
  3. JediGaladriel

    JediGaladriel Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 3, 1999
    Okay. I wasn't sure what Rogue11 wanted to do with the conversation, so I hope I'm not spoiling a plan here. I basically had Coris admit to Zemai that he knew Akira had been in the cave, though neither of them can tell when. She shows him her dream, though manages to justify to herself that he doesn't really need to see the beginning of it. They go back to the cave.

    Zemai is not overly thrilled with Olan's idea of a test (and misses its point, basically because she has no concept of deciding whether or not one should go into training; she never had to make such a choice). She picks up Karik's saber and puts it directly into Jastiss' hand, saying that what was given need not be taken.

    Hope I'm not stepping on Loka's or Rogue's toes here. If for no other reason than that I need them to be able to hobble over to "Strange Angels"...
  4. luke's severed hand

    luke's severed hand Jedi Youngling

    Jan 21, 2000
    Hey, guys and gals.

    I?m sorry that I haven?t posted to the planner in a while, but I was concentrating on getting my characters and key situations set up before I would actively push the plot along.
    Now that all of my characters have been introduced, I can get down to the dirty work. I will post to planner more often.(promise)J

    Don?t worry, though, I have kept abreast of the stories progress and have to say that I am extremely pleased.
    Aspects rocks! (I liked it very much and would read it twice more!-very old joke)

    I was initially concerned, in the beginning, about Aspects? set-up and us being able to maintain fluid transition (in its storyline and with all of its diverse subplots) and I have to say that it (and all of you) all have exceeded my expectations. I don?t believe that there is a better round-robin out there. (exception to Strange Angels)

    Galandriel, Rogue and Loka have me stuck on Tattoine and I don?t want to leave. The life lessons and emotional interplay of Coris, Zemai, Olan and Jastiss are both inspiring and delightful to read. I tended to forget while I was reading their recent adventures that there was a bloody war going on across other parts of the galaxy. (that?s a good thing!) Great job.

    Special honors should go to Rover for developing an intriguing plot with such a wealth of characters in Lord?s absence. You?ve picked up the ball, as they say, ran with it! I hope I can keep up. We are in your debt.

    As the story stands:
    1. Koenis and maapaa have unexpected visitors on their trip to Coruscant. Koenis will be separated fom Maapaa, which forces the little guy to make his own plans.(I swear that I?m not trying to sound mysterious, here.)
    2. Sedoc and 4 other Sith disciples of Master Kirasis are headed to Golean for a bit of mayhem I?m afraid.
    3. Grimm and Tumir are going to tackle on to tackle the Senate. they will try to find out where theirheads are at with the whole jedi vs. sith thing and make them see the Calmonians as a real threat. Little do they know that theyy will also be in the presence of the two founders of the Sith in disguise.

    I am going to try to mention your characters in my posts so that the posts seem more attached to the overall story.

    Ya know, If I posted more often to this planner, I wouldn?t have such a long post, would I?

    Five finger salute.

  5. blackjedi

    blackjedi Jedi Youngling

    Jul 31, 1999
    Yup. I'm still alive.. I'm sorry that I haven't added anything.. school has been really busy and I've been at a writer's block for SW for a long time.. -.- Does anyone want me to try and add my characters in (or is it too late?) or to try and wait for the next story.

    Ozymandias.. hm.. Hey, is that the one that goes "And on this shattered visage lay.."?
  6. JediGaladriel

    JediGaladriel Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 3, 1999
    Yup. This is the whole thing... think of it with thoughts of the Gungan sacred place, with all its fallen statues.
    I met a traveller from an antique land
    Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
    Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
    Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
    And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
    Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
    Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
    The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed:
    And on the pedestal these words appear:
    'My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
    Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!'
    Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
    Of that collosal wreck, boundless and bare
    The lone and level sands stretch far away.

    - PB Shelley 1789-1822
  7. Loka Hask

    Loka Hask Jedi Master star 3

    Jul 12, 1999
    I wrote this in my English class this morning. I was thinking about what I should write for Zalferix, because if I don't write about him soon everyone will forget he even exists! As I thought, a bunch of little phrases started popping into my head so I wrote them down and put them in order. It's not that great, since I've never written a poem in my life before, but I think it's kinda cool.

    A bloodied claw thrust upwards
    toward the crimson sky.

    The dark lenses of my eyes
    Follow your descent.

    In the darkness I appeared,
    My shining blade merely a blur.

    Before then you knew not of it;
    The bitter sweet taste of anger-- of fear.

    And now, as you make your descent
    into the next world, you know only one thing.

    I have shown you fear.

    -Andrew Carlson (ME!)
  8. Loka Hask

    Loka Hask Jedi Master star 3

    Jul 12, 1999
    Summary of last post:

    After Zemai states that they have to leave, Jastiss has sort of a semi-vision. He thinks he sees a woman (obviously Akira) standing over Zemai, ready to kill her. Jastiss doesn't want this to happen, so he reaches out and actually calls his lightsaber to him. He ignites it, and charges Akira, but is too late. They then seem to merge, and Akira/Zemai accuses him of being to late, yadda yadda yadda.

    Anyway, he returns to the real world to find he actually does have his father's lightsaber in his hand, so we can assume he really did call it to him. (woah! how'd he do THAT? )

    He then collapses from exhaustion after apologising to Zemai for being too late. (Remember- it was a vision, so she is really still alive-- just incase I lost anyone.)
  9. Loka Hask

    Loka Hask Jedi Master star 3

    Jul 12, 1999
    AAAHHHHH!!!!! 2nd PAGE!!!!!!!
  10. RogueLead11

    RogueLead11 Jedi Master star 2

    Aug 19, 1999

    Coris takes out the locket he found in the cave earlier and opens it up, only to find a picture of two skeletons where the hologram of him and his sister used to be. He's strangely detached about the whole thing, then he hears a voice calling to him through the Force: Jai'ana Din.
  11. JediGaladriel

    JediGaladriel Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 3, 1999
    Sum-up: Coris is, to put it mildly, distracted, and Zemai is pretty convinced that this isn't Jai'ana... but Coris will not listen to her at all. She remembers Emraan, and has a strong flashback to the fire, right down to a coughing fit from old smoke. Jastiss gives her something to stop the coughing, then she, Jastiss, and Olan decide that -- desert or no -- it's time to get out of the cave, now. They get their things; she goes back to collect Coris.
  12. RogueLead11

    RogueLead11 Jedi Master star 2

    Aug 19, 1999
    Summary of a little post:

    Coris and Zemai's relationship is starting to come apart at the seams. The latter breaks her master out of his love-lorn haze long enough for him to give her a lecture about not teaching Jastiss anything about the Force. Then Coris lets a thought slip about his deal with Dur Slew and Zemai picks up on it.
  13. The Rover

    The Rover Jedi Youngling star 1

    Dec 28, 1999
    Hey everyone, sorry to be gone so long

    summary so far... Winsar Belas is morning the death of Si'enna Kidda-Lar and in the mist of his grief..the machinations continue back home .

    what I am tryin to do from this point onward folks is try to go in an order to bring the plot to the high conflict thats coming up. I am truly sorry for not posting as much as i used to..but real Life outside this forum is kickin my butt big time. please each of you..Rogue, Galandriel, Loka, Luke Severed hand..please have patience with me as i try to get the ball rolling again as LSH so beautifully put it.

    Rest assured people..I will try to cover everything that will be equally satisfying to all of ourselves and to any of the readers who have been patient with the lack of post on my part.

    by the way..special thanks goes to galandriel, Loka and Rogue for keepin the story goin in my absence..Luke Severed hand..your lst post was great..I had to read it twice to get the full jist of it.

    Oh by the way Rogue, your post involving Coris and Jai'ana-Din Ronin in the strange angels thread was a masterpiece. it leterally brought tears to my was something else I was thinking about as I was reading it affected me so just came out. True love will persevere no matter the time away or the time together. Coris and Jai'ana-Din is living proof of that...soon I will finally start to get the ball rolling on Jai'ana-Din's return in a grand way.

    I truly miss writing scenes involving her...and General Rikkan for that matter too ( hahahaha ) but alas, I got so many characters to cover right get to both of them will take some time...thankfully it wont be for much longer...

    More to come
  14. The Rover

    The Rover Jedi Youngling star 1

    Dec 28, 1999
    Hey every body

    Summary so far : Master Rimar and Master Tati'an Arel have a small discussion on the plans of conquest as Drey Jalex and Uthor Fulani-Yin speaks through a hologram. questions are asked and some answers were given..but not without letting them both know that the grand plans of the Sith must not be disturbed at any cost.

    More to come soon....
  15. The Rover

    The Rover Jedi Youngling star 1

    Dec 28, 1999

    I just read your post..i was like " oh my god this scene is freakin brilliant !! from the the way Drey and Zalferix confronted each other I could feel the tension flowin all over the place !

    the dialogue was of your best post of all time !

    but unfortunately we have just a small problem that I pray that yopu can fix right away... its that Drey Jalex is not in the Sith temple on Em'raan. the only one inside the Sith temple on Em'raan General Rikkan and Jai'ana-Din Ronin

    Drey Jalex is on Coruscant with Seth Shadel ( who has inflitrated the very strong hold of the Republic and is in disguise at this very moment..destroying these fools from within. )


    believe me this is very important due to the overall plot of what Seth and Drey has planned for those fools on Alderaan ( which you have picked up on beautifully, by the way, by telling Zalferix that he has to send the rest of his disciples to Alderaan for the conference. )

    and especially what Seth and Drey have planned for the republic and most especially the Jedi within the Temple. ( I tell you all whoever reads my words here in this planner, that the ending of this second thrilling chapter will be the most violent of this series--at least for now )

    The way i have it set up Loka , please bear with me...I really need you to help me with this ..I spoken with Luke's Severed Hand on my plans for the ending of the story...those poor Jedi knight are in for the fight of their life. but I need to have the specific post I put together followed..allmost to the letter im afraid ( I pray that you wont have a problem with it..or any of the other guys and gals who reads this..Rogue , Galandriel..even Lord Sith. )

    It may be slow for right now, but once we get there, the show will be dynamic to say the least. please e-mail me Loka for any questions you need answered. Ill do the same once I get home... Luke Severed Hand, c'mon man help me out here... its time to bring on the violence.

    Rogue, I'm almost ready to introduce a scene that will start the search for Jai'ana Din get ready , my friend. I need to set up the Fight over in the Golean system ( thats gonna be a bloody one ) and the Senate scene. once thats done we are on our way...I may do it sooner depending on how fast I can type this up...we'll see !

    Please do this for me Loka, thanks , especially on such short notice

    More to come soon
  16. JediGaladriel

    JediGaladriel Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 3, 1999

    Love to play along, but we can't do the necessary set up unless we know what you're doing. If you have a plan, lay it out.

    What we're doing (Loka, Rogue, correct me if I'm wrong; these are the assumptions I've been writing toward, and they mostly concern Zemai; I'm not sure of your characters' reactions and intentions throughout):

    1. Coris leaves to go off after Jai'ana Din Ronin, leaving Jastiss and Zemai (and Olan) on Tatooine. Zem has a big argument with him beforehand, in which she does a couple of un-padawan-like things which drive a further wedge between them.
    2. Jastiss and Zemai become involved after Coris leaves.
    3. Akira takes over Zemai's body, and through whatever mechanism happens, she and Jastiss manage to beat her. (Rogue, will Coris come in at the end of this? Has he been in this plot on Alderaan at all?)... but Zemai has been communing with her, and is always touched afterward.
    4. They go back to Coruscant, where it's discovered that Zem's got a bun in the oven. In the meantime, the prophecy about Karik's descendents has been spoken (and she knows about it because she's been bonded with the Sith through Akira), so she refuses to reveal the name of the father, and is promptly kicked out of training. I figured at the end of the story, she'd be trying to find a new life that she'd never planned on needing.
  17. The Rover

    The Rover Jedi Youngling star 1

    Dec 28, 1999
    One omre thing Loka , I forget to say and hopwefully everyone can pick up on this...

    Each of the Sith masters address each other as "Master" Fulani-Yin or "Master" Rimar
    So Zalferix will be known as "Master" Zalferix to his fellow peers within the council and mosr especially his students

    Only Drey Jalex and Seth Shadel are to be addressed as "LORD " as they are the heads of the Sith and the council itself. It is a title that has more of a phycologial meaning to which will be one of the things that cause the hatred to grow within some of the more disatisfied members of the SIth...

    In your post Loka..Zalferix ios definitely feeling the hatred of having to address Drey as "his Lord" which was a beautiful touch. The same thing for Rimar... but he kept his disatisfaction to himself..but he feels it also. the same can be said for Ryel Kirasis...for he among all the members of the Sith have the most hatred for Drey Jalex...but he is carefull in his words, but dont think for one second that he aint plottin for Drey's demise as well

    what I am getting that , just for the point of contunuity..that each of the master address each other as master and that Seth and Drey be the " LORDS "

    Akira Hakim cannot be addressed as "Lord" or "master" because she choose to follow Zalferix and that she doesnt have students of her own....she has assisted the Zal in his students train..I may wager, but she hasnt got that far yet.( even though she is as powerful as he may be at this point...but well let rogue decide that )

    Quick Point for anyone to remember and to use once General Rikkan becomes reintroduced into the story, is that throughout the entire first story of "Uprising" he only addressed everyone withion the Sith as Lord because of his knowing that they will be rulers of men one day. His addressing them as " LORDS" is more of a training to each of the to get them used to the idea of them taking over anf ruling the galaxy one day and that each of them have a place within the highest place of power...from Zalferix on down to Akira.

    I hope that I havent been a pest about this nit picking of addressing names as such. I hope you can bear with me on this Loka and every one else...I feel like Im writing to freakin long

    I'm gone....
  18. The Rover

    The Rover Jedi Youngling star 1

    Dec 28, 1999
    I just read your post Galandriel

    and I agree that I have to lay out the plan in order for everyone to cooperate..

    Okay boys andd is my plan in chronlogical order of my posting...

    The plot is for Seth shadel to cause total chaos within the Republic's Senate. as he is in disguise ready for this, people, " The new chief advisor" to the supreme chancellor. ( I dont know if everyone knew that before,) if anyone have read the beggining of the story..Seth and Drey had a discussion about Rimar and his vast empire. he didnt trust the Rimar to follow the ways of the sith once he found himself ruiler of the Republic. Seth's plan was to instill a person ( Supreme chancellor ) within the Senate that will follow the ways of the the event that Rimar wins the war and thinks that no one will challenge his ways once he conquers the republic.

    Now the the conference on alderaan is the sweet one...for the the assassination of the planetary leaders and the Republic delegates there including the chancellor's chief rival, will be as planned BUT....


    instead the planetary leaders and delegatssa from the Senate will be assassinated when they least expect them to be the signing dinner to " seal there allience with the republic "

    Thety will be attack by the Sith Master Scott Lenobi and Sith Master Lokis Gel-Non with all of their disciples and they will escape through unknown they have allies deep within the alderaan government thats on the pay roll of the Calmonians

    Mena while back on Coruscant the Senate is in turmoil due to the attack as they they armed forces is scattered throughout the galaxy leaving their homeworld literrally " defenseless"

    the rest as we say... will be a battle for the ages as the Calmonians battle cruisers come out of hyperspace and descend upon the capital of the senate. The Jedi temple will be under siege from the Drey Jalex and the rest of the Sith which all the Masters and their disciples will be present to do battle with the knights and masters..

    Plus and added touch to the whole thing is that Master Obi'yell Magnus has been secretly recruiting young padawans within the temple to the Sith. He called them to wait untill the moment to take the temple and established a true order. he has been working on that particular thing for five years. but only Seth and Drey knew about it. it was to used when the time was juuuust right. I guess this was the time !

    In the mist of all this somehow, Jai'ana-Din Ronin will be rescued !

    That, my dear " my Plan"

    Hopefully I hope everyone can follow this without a problem

    More to come soon... once again
  19. Loka Hask

    Loka Hask Jedi Master star 3

    Jul 12, 1999
    Don't worry, Rover. It'll be changed before you can say "Palpatine is my uncle".
  20. Loka Hask

    Loka Hask Jedi Master star 3

    Jul 12, 1999
    Palpatine is my uncle.

    BTW Rover, your plans sound great, I'm behind you 100%.

    Roguelead, can Olan tag along with Coris when he leaves the planet? I'll bet he had been just waiting for a "call to arms" and this sounds all to perfect. Besides, Olan isn't one to sit back when a conflict is going on, especially one involving the entire galaxy.

    Besides this allows Zemai and Jastiss to become involved with out "interruptions"

    Just a thought.

    Loka Out.

  21. The Rover

    The Rover Jedi Youngling star 1

    Dec 28, 1999
    Hey Loka

    thanks ever so much for makin the changes for me...i was just about to say Palpatine is my uncle..but you beat me to it !

    anyways I'm also please to know you will back me up on my plans... that means alot to me..

    believe me..I am ready to bring the drama down on these weak and pitful Jedi's...

    You know , Loka, if it wasnt for one of Luke's Severed Hands post concerning a Sith disciple called Sedoc, I would have never though of the idea that i had to know that this story is about the rise and fall of the Sith as terry brooks had wrote...

    therefore since this is the middle only makes sence the Sith will be at their apex and as such should have the power to cause major havoc to the dismay of the Jedi within the council as such...

    believe me Loka...the end will get pretty damn violent. I'mhappy that will be able to join me in bringin the violence to these guys.

    by the way.. can you do me a major favor, Loka cause I may not be able to write this in , but it is very important to the development of the tensions between the sith masters

    Can you write a post and create some slight tension involving Zalferix arriving on Alderaan and meeting up with Sith Master Scott Lenobi. Drey has actually placed Scott in charge of the Alderaan assaination squad. ( because of how much Drey Jalex trustes Scott)

    of course Zalferix doesnt like this and give them some diolgue to shoot back and forth on how to follow orders. Zalferix submits but let him vent out his frustraitons by retreating to a Coruscant chamber and have him secretly contact Sith Master Ryel Kirasis. discussing the wereabouts of his late disciple Parqur's mate. since they was supposedly together before his demise. have their conversation drift to their hatred for the way they both have to suck up to Drey Jalex.

    Remeber, Loka, Ryel hates Drey the most because of the way Drey pimp smack the **** out of him in the first story ( uprising ) in front of the rest of the disciples when they firstcame to Em'raan four. of course Ryel Kirasis never forgot that...and hes waiting for the opportunity to let him have it in the worse way... Zalferix on the other hands wants that too but much more..and so probaly let them discuss having their own secret allience togehter to gain more followers that Seth and Drey and one day over throw those two " old foggies" from leader ship.

    Please add into your post if you can Loka that the powers of General Rikkan is great and is not be trifiled with. becauise they both remembered ( because they were both there ) that Bin-Sar Null ( Lord Null ) tried to defy the General and was destroyed . and at that time he was one of the most learned with a Lightsaber within their short group.

    they must find a way to elimiate the General who is still loyal to Seth and Drey. of course none of this will actually occure untill the final story...but to set certain themes for the third story up here is absolutly necessary.

    I had originally intended to write this post Loka..but as of this moment, before my posting of the violent battle in the Golean system, I am now going to write a post involving the set up to rescue my beloved Jai'ana-Dim Ronin ( yes, Rogue, you can finally say it now : " WELL ITS ABOUT G*DAMN TIME ! HAHAHA )

    suffice to say , this post will be lengthy and after that I have to jump to Golean. have to have some fun killing more Jedi's... ( hey I'm getting too much into the violence of this thing )

    I hope that you can do this for me Loka..I really appreciate it..if you cant then please let me know immediately....

    so finally, my summary :

    the two assassins for grenda the Hutt make preparations to travel to Alderaan for the mission. they receive further instructions from the Bothan aid and afterwards they are on their way....

    More to come soon

  22. RogueLead11

    RogueLead11 Jedi Master star 2

    Aug 19, 1999
    Happy (belated) birthday, Loka Hask! Sorry I missed it before on the 8th.

    Feliz cumpleanos and all that good stuff!
  23. The Rover

    The Rover Jedi Youngling star 1

    Dec 28, 1999
    Oh, snap

    I didnt even know it was Loka's birthday on the 8th

    Hey Loka, Happy Belated Birthday may you have many more to come....

    Now get your behind back to work... we got a war to finish !

    The Rover

    P.S.- hey guys let me know when each of your birthdays come up, so we dont miss anything when it arrives. I truly didnt even know about Loka's...just a thought.
  24. Loka Hask

    Loka Hask Jedi Master star 3

    Jul 12, 1999
    LOL Thanx guys


    well, I posted half of what Rover wanted me to do. "More to come" as Rover says, as soon as Galadriel and Rogue post something.

  25. RogueLead11

    RogueLead11 Jedi Master star 2

    Aug 19, 1999
    Sure, Loka, Olan can accompany Coris off planet when I finally get around to writing that. *wince* Other projects have called away my attention from Sith Uprising for a while, if you couldn't tell. I'll try real hard to get up a post in the next couple of days.

    Rover: Yeah! Jai'ana's finally coming back into the picture. Good thing too, because Coris is starting to go a little crazy in the head from withdrawal.
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