The Storm Dynasty (JA)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Ibis, Sep 26, 2000.

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  1. Ibis Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 1, 2000
    star 1
    I'm going to start posting on this tommorrow. This has nothing to do with my other fan fic, The Sith Rising Again, and I'm debating on wether to keep going with it since it doesn't look like anyone is reading anymore. So if no one gives me feedback on my other one this story will have my complete attention.

    Title: The Storm Dynasty
    Rating: I don't know, it has some viloence but no obscene language so I guess PG.
    Time Period: Obi-Wan is 18.
    Disclaimer: I don't own Obi-Wan Kenobi or Qui-Gon Jinn and I'm not making any money from this.

    I'll post the first part tommorrow. FEEDBACK IS ALWAYS NICE.
  2. padmemicheline Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 28, 2000
    star 3
    Cool. Anxiously waiting for your post!
  3. JediRogue9 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    May 8, 2000
    star 3
  4. padawan3 Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 20, 1999
    star 4
  5. darth_flirt Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 2, 2000
    star 1
  6. Darth McClain Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2000
    star 6
  7. Master_Tahl Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 10, 2000
    star 2
    Alright a new story! Post Soon!
  8. Darth McClain Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Feb 5, 2000
    star 6
  9. Kelly Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 23, 2000
    star 4
    Excuse me, but it's tomorrow!
  10. Ibis Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 1, 2000
    star 1
    Here's the first part it's kind of boring so bear with me it'll get better.

    **************

    The Storm Dynasty

    18-year-old Obi-Wan Kenobi sat in the co-pilot chair of the small republican transport. ?How much longer till we get to Kempen?? he asked his Master, who was sitting beside him in the pilot?s seat.

    ?About 30 minutes, Padawan.? Qui-Gon Jinn said with a smile. Although his apprentice may legally be an adult, he still retained a few boyish qualities. ?Perhaps we should go over the details of this mission to pass the time.?

    ?Yes, Master. Kempen has been at peace for nearly a millennium. Before that, a horrible war consumed the entire planet. Eftran, a poor man, single-handedly stopped the wars and united the people. It is said that he used magic and was able to control the weather to accomplish this. Because of his powers and contributions to his people he was named emperor and started the great Storm Dynasty. Before dying, Eftran said that the one who was the rightful ruler of the planet would be born with the power to control the weather. Naturally, his claimed he had the powers and inherited the throne. Since then the first born son has always inherited the throne. Now the current ruler has lost the favor of the people. The people have elected a representative to negotiate new laws that limit the king?s power, but the king refuses to speak with him. The people are ready to revolt and the king is threatening to use his legendary powers to crush any uprising. The King, after speaking with his advisors, agreed to negotiate with the representative. The representative requested the presence of the Jedi to keep things fair.... I believe that covers everything Master.? Obi-Wan finished.

    ?Except the fact that, while we may not believe the King has powers; the Kempen do.? Qui-Gon added.

    ?Hard to believe they think he does.? Obi-Wan stated.

    ?Yes, but we are not here to change or judge their beliefs.? Qui-Gon said.

    *************************

    Tell me what you think.
  11. darth_flirt Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 2, 2000
    star 1
    Good start, keep it up!!
  12. padmemicheline Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 28, 2000
    star 3
    Yeah, I agree! Great start!
  13. Kelly Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 23, 2000
    star 4
    I like... I look forward to more!
  14. Ibis Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 1, 2000
    star 1
    Sorry, I've had a busy week. I try to post more often.

    *****************

    A half-hour later the small ship touched down on the planet. The Jedi exited the craft and were met by one of the King?s advisors and the representative of the people.

    ?His majesty welcomes the Jedi,? the King?s advisor began, ?and has requested that you report immediately to the palace. There is a royal transport waiting.? He addressed Qui-Gon only, ignoring Obi-Wan completely.

    ?Thank you,? Qui-Gon broke-in, ?but we would rather walk to the palace.?

    ?Not possible.? the advisor stated coldly. ?The King has ordered you go strait to the palace. If you refuse-?

    ?Excuse me,? the representative of the people interrupted. ?I am Kalen the representative of the people.? he introduced himself politely and with a warm voice. He seemed the opposite of the cold advisor. ?We realize that after such a long journey you must want to stretch your legs, but the faster you get to the palace the sooner the negotiations can start. However, if you insist on walking I'm sure something can be arranged.? Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon glanced at each other. The advisor treated them like an unavoidable burden, while Kalen treated them with respect and kindness. This was going to be an interesting mission.

    ?If it is that important we get there quickly, we shall take the transport.? Qui-Gon said. They walked to where the transport sat waiting and the two Jedi and Kalen entered, but the advisor stayed behind.

    Once they were on their way, Kalen began a friendly conversation. ?I must thank you for choosing not to walk. You?ve saved us much time.?

    ?We are here to help as soon as we can.? Qui-Gon replied.

    ?It is much appreciated, I assure you. By the way, forgive me, but I haven?t yet learned either of your names.?

    ?I am Qui-Gon Jinn and this is my apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi.?

    ?It is a pleasure to meet you both. Hopefully negotiations will be short, and you can return to helping others in the galaxy.? he said with a small smile.

    -------------------------
    Upon arriving at the palace, they were escorted to a large room to wait for the King. Obi-Wan kept glancing at the chronometer and watching the time go by. Finally, five hours later an assistant entered. ?Jedi and representative of the people,? he greeted, ?his Royal Highness, the controller of the weather, the greatest ruler in the galaxy is sorry to inform you that he is too busy to meet with you.? Qui-Gon felt Kalen shift next to him. ?Negotiations,? the assistant continued, ?will start tomorrow, after a public ceremony where the King will demonstrate his great and powerful control of the weather.? After his speech the assistant quickly left the room.

    Kalen sank down in his chair. ?The King means to scare the people tomorrow, so they will think twice about challenging him.?

    ?Do you believe he can actually control the weather?? Obi-Wan asked.

    ?He?s proven he can before, but many believe its all a hoax; that?s he?s not really controlling the weather. I happen to be one of those people, but it?s hard to get the majority of the people to agree.?

    Qui-Gon put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. ?Don?t worry, if the King is deceiving his people, we will see to it that he is exposed.?

    ?Thank you.? Kalen said sincerely. After a few moments, a servant came in to show them to their rooms. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan had to share a room which wasn?t all that big in the first place.

    ?Of a the rooms in the palace they give us the smallest one.? Obi-Wan said, looking around at the sparse furnishings. He didn?t mention the fact that there was almost a foot of dust on everything and the room itself smelled musty.

    ?The King is not taking the negotiations very seriously.? Qui-Gon commented. ?But we?ve stayed in worse places.?

    ?Really, I?m drawing a blank.? Obi-Wan said. He was about to go on about how terrible the accommodations had been, but a sharp glance from Qui-Gon stopped him.

    ?Perhaps you should stop whining about our room and start paying attention to our mission.? Qui-Gon said.

    ?Yes, Master
  15. Ibis Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 1, 2000
    star 1
  16. KADI-WAN_KENOBI Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 9, 2000
    star 4
    This is very good. I look forward to more. :)
  17. Ibis Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 1, 2000
    star 1
    This post isn't very long. Sorry.

    ******************

    The next day the Jedi were stranding on a platform in front of several thousand citizens. A number of officials stood with them along with Kalen. When it was time to start the ceremony, Kalen approached the podium and began his opening speech. In it, he was very optimistic about the negotiations and all the changes he would push for. By the end of his speech the people were cheering at the top of their lungs in his favor. To Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan it was easy to see why Kalen had been elected. He generally cared about what he did and was very charismatic while being an able diplomat. A few minutes later a group of twenty royal guards walked onto the stage, each carrying heavy assault blasters.

    Once they were confident there was no danger the leader gave a signal and the King himself stepped onto the stage. He was in his mid-twenties and arrogance radiated from his every pore. Obi-Wan immediately took a disliking to him. He walked up to the podium like it wasn?t good enough for him.

    He began his speech. ?There are those of you who think I don?t treat you fairly. I have only called for these negotiations only to amuse you. Don?t expect to get what you want. You have no real power over the government. You are all fools to think you do. In case you haven?t noticed, this isn?t a democracy and if I have my way, which I will I am the King after all, you never will. Why will one word I could take your lives away, I suggest you remember that. I know that some of you don?t think I have the powers given to me from Froyest himself. So, now let me show you what true power is.? He raised his arms to the sky and suddenly a fierce wind blew through the square. The people were silenced; they looked around in fear. Qui-Gon surveyed the scene with concern the longer the wind blew the more frightened the people became. He looked to his apprentice who looked back at him. As the King lowed his hands the wind stopped.

    Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon gave each other another worried glance. Everyone seemed so certain the King had real power, but they didn?t have Jedi senses. They couldn?t feel the vibrations of the turbo-fans beneath their feet, which made the wind. The King went to great expenses to cause fear among his people. But they didn?t have time to worry about it now. Everyone on the platform was getting into transports that would take them to the palace where the negotiations would begin.

    ***********************

    FEEDBACK please!
  18. KADI-WAN_KENOBI Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 9, 2000
    star 4
    This is getting good!

    Post more soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  19. jodiwent Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2000
    star 4
    I just found this and like it.

    I like your interaction between master and apprentice.
  20. Kaylla Norn Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2000
    star 3
    so how will the expose the young fraud. And what is the tingling sensation obi was wondering about. stay tuned and we will find out, hopefully very soon.
  21. Ibis Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 1, 2000
    star 1
    Hi again. Here's more.

    ******************

    Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan entered their room in the evening. The first day of negotiations was over, and it was obvious there would be many more. The King simply refused to agree on any changes or compromises. He laughed at any suggestion to provide more care for the homeless and orphaned children. The end result of the day?s talks was one arrogant king, a frustrated representative, and two exhausted Jedi.

    ?I?m really starting to dislike the King.? Obi-Wan said as he collapsed into one of the few chairs in the room. Upon sitting down he disturbed what appeared to be about three years of dust, which created a cloud around him and sent him into a coughing fit. ?Perfect.? he muttered under his breath as soon as he was able to open his mouth without coughing.

    ?I agree, but we must not take sides Padawan.? Qui-Gon said trying to control the laughter that threaten to burst out of him. ?Are you hungry??

    ?Yes Master.? The thought of food made the young Jedi forget about the dust.

    ?Good,? Qui-Gon said suppressing a smile at the young man?s excitement. ?Our meal should be delivered to us shortly.?

    Five minutes later, there was a knock at the door. Qui-Gon went over and opened it. A servant hurried in the room, not waiting to be invited. She set the two trays she carried down on a small table. Obi-Wan regarded her with interest. She was certainly different from the other servants around the palace. For one, she was much younger than all the other servants. Most of the others were in their forties, but she looked around seventeen and none of the other servants would have come into their room uninvited. At first glance one might have thought she was a normal female human, but she had certain traits that were definitely not normal. After all, how many humans had silver hair, violet eyes and fair skin, not to mention the black finger nail polish. If Obi-Wan had to describe her, he would say she was a strange mix a between mysteriously beautiful girl and a freak.

    She rubbed her hands together, ?Sorry,? she apologized, ?I would have waited for you to invite me, but those plates were fresh from the kitchen and really hot.?

    Qui-Gon looked at her hands, which were now turning red. ?It?s quite alright. I hope you haven?t burned yourself.? He too had taken an interest in her strange appearance.

    ?Nah,? she said cheerfully. ?Just a little red. They?ll be back to their normal color in a few minutes.?

    ?Aren?t you a little young to be working here?? Obi-Wan asked.

    ?I?m 19, legally an adult.? she answered.

    ?You really don?t look it.? Qui-Gon remarked.

    ?I know, its really annoying, but I live with it.? she replied.

    ?If you?re 19, shouldn?t you be in college?? Qui-Gon asked.

    ?I wish I was, but I don?t have the money. So here I am, working here of all places.?

    ?You don?t like it here.? Qui-Gon said. It wasn?t a question.

    ?It?s alright, as long as you don?t have to go near the King. I mean, he usually ignores his employees, were just the ?help? after all. But when he makes a mistake, it?s automatically the fault of the nearest servant.?

    ?If you don?t like it why do you stay?? Obi-Wan asked.

    ?Free room and board. Besides I don?t exactly have any where else to go.? she answered.

    ?What of your family. Surely they wouldn?t want you to have to work someplace you don?t like.? Qui-Gon said.

    ?They died in a fire five years ago. I?ve been working here ever since.?

    ?I?m sorry.?

    ?Why? You didn?t cause it. Besides, I put that behind me years ago.?

    ?We haven?t asked you your name.? Obi-Wan said.

    ?Dahlia.? she answered.

    ?You were named after a flower.? Qui-Gon said.

    ?Yep.? she said giving him a warm smile. ?Well, I?d better go and let you eat. If you need anything just ask me. I can get anything.?

    ?Thank you for the offer.? Qui-Gon said as she left.

    ?Interesting girl.? Obi-Wan remarked after the door shut.

    ?Very.? Qui-Gon agreed. ?But I wonder if she could help us.?

    ?How?? Obi-Wan asked raising an eyebrow.

    ?I did some research last n
  22. jedi_dawn2dusk Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 22, 2000
    star 1
    Cool :) So far this is really interesting and I can't wait to seewhat part Dahlia will play.
  23. darth_flirt Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 2, 2000
    star 1
  24. Ibis Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 1, 2000
    star 1
    Here's a nice long post.

    ***********************

    After the next day?s negotiations, which didn?t make anymore progress, the two Jedi set out to find Dahlia; instead of returning to their room. They stopped to ask a servant where she could be found. ?Excuse us,? Qui-Gon said to the female middle-aged servant. ?Could you tell us where we could find Dahlia??

    ?Who wants to know and why?? the woman spat back at him.

    ?We are Jedi and we only wish to speak with her.? Qui-Gon responded politely.

    ?You are the King?s pets and no vermin like you just want to talk to a servant. I don?t know what you want her for, but you leave that girl alone, you hear me. She works ten times harder than everyone else and she don?t get nothing extra for it. The last thing she needs is to be harassed by the likes of you.? she said and walked away.

    ?That was helpful.? Obi-Wan said. ?You know for someone who looks like she had an accident at a beauty salon, she gets a lot of respect from the other servants.?

    ?Padawan.? Qui-Gon said with a stern look.

    ?Well it?s true isn?t it, she doesn?t look exactly normal.? Obi-Wan said.

    ?Yeah, but nobody has ever said I looked like I had an accident at a beauty salon before.? The Jedi turned to see Dahlia walk up behind them. Obi-Wan felt his face turn red.

    ?I apologize for my apprentice?s insult, Dahlia.? Qui-Gon said sending a hard look to Obi-Wan, who now had his eyes glued to the floor.

    Dahlia smiled. ?It?s alright, I?ve been called worse. Besides, I?m sure he wouldn?t have said it if he knew I was within earshot.?

    ?There?s no excuse for my comment,? Obi-Wan said quietly. ?I?m truly sorry if I insulted you.?

    ?It?s alright, really. You were looking for me??

    ?Yes, we do.? Qui-Gon said.

    ?Good, ?cause I wanted to talk to you to.? she replied.

    ?Why?? Obi-Wan asked somewhat suspiciously.

    ?Last night I was so involved in other things that I completely forgot to ask you your names.? she said.

    Qui-Gon gave here a small smile. ?I am Qui-Gon Jinn, and this is my apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi.?

    She looked the two over. ?You wanted to talk to me??

    ?Yes,? Qui-Gon said. ?You seem to be the only one around here, besides Kalen, that is somewhat friendly to us.?

    ?That would be because everyone thinks you?re here to make sure the King stays in power.? she explained.

    ?But we haven?t.? Obi-Wan said.

    ?Doesn?t matter to them, the entire population is happy just thinking you?re against them and they?ll never get the King to change anything.?

    ?Why?? Obi-Wan asked.

    ?No one wants to be disappointed. They want a new King, but everyone?s afraid to say it.? Dahlia said.

    ?Interesting way to start a revolt.? Qui-Gon mused.

    Dahlia looked down at her time piece. ?Wow, it?s getting late. I have somewhere to be. We can continue talking, but you?ll have to walk with me.?

    ?We don?t mind walking.?

    ----------------------------------
    Dahlia led the two Jedi out of the palace through the kitchen. They got dirty looks from every servant they passed. Outside the sun was setting, making beautiful patches of color in the sky. They walked up to the nearest tree line and down a partially overgrown path. Soon it began to get darker and as the last rays of sun disappeared Dahlia quickened her pace. Before long they were walking in almost complete darkness. After about a half hour of walking, Obi-Wan felt his unease growing. He started feeling very vulnerable.

    ?Master,? he whispered, walking closer to Qui-Gon, ?are you sure this is a good idea??

    ?Actually Padawan,? Qui-Gon responded, making sure Dahlia couldn?t hear him, ?I don?t like this, but I doubt we could find our way back on our own. She?s been taking to many turns and the path is so overgrown it?s hard to follow.?

    ?Yet she knows exactly where we?re going.? Obi-Wan said dryly.

    ?Dahlia, how much further?? Qui-Gon asked. It was better to be blunt.

    ?We?re almost there.? she responded reassuringly. True to her word they emerged from the trees on to the bank of a lake. The area was secluded and above one could s
  25. Ibis Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 1, 2000
    star 1
    I'm just uping this so I can find it when I post later today. :)
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