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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Beyond - Legends The Story of Us--one-shot of what happens when Han and Leia take fanfic into their own hands

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by DarthIshtar, May 31, 2005.

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  1. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    FROM THE PERSONAL COMM RECORDS OF LEIA ORGANA SOLO AND HAN SOLO

    I knew it.

    I knew it.

    I knew it and I told you so!


    Oh, come on, Leia. You know you're flattered.

    Flattered? That plaid moron took my famous diplomatic mission to the Hutts and put me in a bikini!

    I'm not complaining. If you'd like to give a demonstration...

    My Father will carbon-freeze you, you half-wit!

    Been there, done that, who cares?

    A historian, he said. Only interested in preserving our records for posterity and the good of the New Republic. A HISTORIAN, YOU NERF-HERDER!

    Nerfherder? I like the sound of that.

    Yes, well, apparently, so did he!

    I think it's cute. And the kids will love it once they're old enough to laugh at us.

    Keep making cracks like that, flyboy, and I'll give those two boloballs you stuck on top of my bladder up for adoption the moment they're born! In the meantime, I'll just tie you up and strangle you!

    Promises, promises.

    (After a great deal of indistinct grumbling) He could have at least gotten the romance right. "I love you/I know?" No mention of you squealing "Really?! This one's for you, Your Worship!" and then having Vader drop you into the freezing chamber out of disgust. None of these dramatic pauses, meaningful looks, etc. You were scared spitless and about as incoherent as a tauntaun!

    I don't know. I kinda like it this way!

    You would! You get to ogle me in a metal bikini.

    Give a guy a break, Leia. I was blind at the time, though I may ask this George if you can have the costume on permanent loan.

    Perfect. Something to remember me by when I leave you tomorrow!

    Hormones. I'll just wait five seconds for your mood to swing the other way.

    My fist is the only thing that will be swinging in your favor or your direction, Solo.

    Settle down. We can always sue him for everything he's worth. What's the credit-dollar conversion anyway? Five hundred dollars to the credit?

    Not worth it. After the legal fees, we'd be left with enough for a nice dinner at MonDenald's. Shaak nuggets and all.

    Well, we can't blame him for the rest of the stuff people have been writing about us.

    Like the guy who made up that ridiculous story about us, Dathomir, and Isolder? Didn't he ever hear that you proposed during the victory celebration and kept dropping the ring because you were so nervous?

    Or that when you tried at first, Winter distracted me and you didn't notice. You did the whole thing with your eyes squeezed shut and proposed marriage to Logray's youngest daughter while I was off talking to Mon Mothma. She nearly accepted, too!


    That girl was a great cook. Maybe I should have settled for that.

    You also didn't bother to mention that you nearly called off the wedding because of that peck on the cheek I gave Chewie?

    Sure, you kissed my Wookiee and are still trying to make me feel guilty about it.

    You must have told someone, because some "fanfic" writer heard about it.

    Okay, that's where they start to get on my nerves. All the grief they put me through... The entire genre must have been spawned when they sat down and figured out five thousand ways to kill me with their bare hands.

    You would have been lucky if they wanted to kill you. Instead, they want you shirtless and screaming.

    Yeah, Obi-Wan warned me about those types.

    And I'm always pregnant and presumed dead or chained to you and really angsty. Don't even get me started on the ideas they have about Luke and Mara.

    Well, there's only one solution, you know.

    Wipe them out.

    All of them.

    Do not hesitate. Show no mercy.


    Easy, Princess. You're starting to sound like that wrinkled guy.

    So, what were you talking about?

    We write our own fanfiction.

    If you're not kidding, I hope you enjoy
     
  2. Mirax-Jade

    Mirax-Jade Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 7, 2003
    Ooooh I love it! It's wonderful, hilarious!!


    "Insertpretentiousnamehere"

    ^^Love that. :p
     
  3. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    LOL, thanks. THe Insertpretentiousnamehere is in honor of Jedi-jae, the author of Insert Pretentious Title Here.
     
  4. Senator_Leia73

    Senator_Leia73 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 30, 2003
    LOL Loved it [face_laugh]

    I could see Leia sitting there with a data pad and the two of them arguing back and forth. :D
     
  5. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    LOL, thanks.
     
  6. Killik_Twilight

    Killik_Twilight Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 6, 2005
    Very interesting . . .

    *hopes a sequel will come*

    KT
     
  7. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Oh, and a bit of trivia: they came up for the name of Yuuzhan Vong at a Vietnamese restaurant, according to an interview I read. That's why I had Leia ordering yushen and some phong rice.
     
  8. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    K_T, a sequel? Hmmm...Luke and Mara take their revenge on Zahn? Jaina and Jacen and Anakin find tf.n?
     
  9. Killik_Twilight

    Killik_Twilight Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 6, 2005
    The name comes from Yuunan and Vong together. It's on the CD that you get with The Unifying Force.

    KT
     
  10. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

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    Mar 26, 2001
    Yeah, i remember that. Vong was a dish there and there's a Yunan region, but they changed it to not sound so terrestrial.
     
  11. LadyPadme

    LadyPadme Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 26, 2002


    * laughs *

    One really would have to wonder what Han and Leia would make of all the fanfic that has been written about their lives ;)
     
  12. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    I would have put in what they thought of Never a Bride, but having She Kissed My Wookiee mentioned was bad enough.
     
  13. GreatOne

    GreatOne Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 22, 2003
    You would have been lucky if they wanted to kill you. Instead, they want you shirtless and screaming. - [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] - Who, me? *face innocent* :p
     
  14. NYCitygurl

    NYCitygurl Manager Emeritus star 9 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 20, 2002
    *Dies laughing*

    This is great!!!
     
  15. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    GreatOne--You would have been lucky if they wanted to kill you. Instead, they want you shirtless and screaming. - - Who, me? *face innocent*

    WHaddya mean innocent?! ;) You know it's my favorite pet peeve that all fangirls want the best characters half-naked and screaming for mercy.

    NYCitygurl--*Dies laughing*

    This is great!!!


    Thanks!
     
  16. Vongchild

    Vongchild Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2004
    Is this a re-write, because I could have sworn I've seen something like this before.

    You also didn't bother to mention that you nearly called off the wedding because of that peck on the cheek I gave Chewie?

    Sure, you kissed my Wookiee and are still trying to make me feel guilty about it.

    You must have told someone, because some "fanfic" writer heard about it.


    [face_laugh] And the jokes with the Yuuzhan Vong.
     
  17. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Someone's done the idea of Han/Leia talking back at fanfic authors before, but I've never written one and certainly not one where they wrote their own fanfic. And especially not where they actually had alternate events, like Han proposing to Logray's daughter...
     
  18. Solo-Evenstar

    Solo-Evenstar Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jan 2, 2005
    HILARIOUS!!

    I love the mental image of Han squealing really when Leia says I love you....

    It's just so....Luke like.

    Glad to see that Han and Leia are taking back their lives from fanficcers...(realizes she is one)
    oh...do I get a piece of Han then?

    Good job!
     
  19. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Solo-Evenstar--HILARIOUS!!

    I love the mental image of Han squealing really when Leia says I love you....


    I thought that would be improbable enough to be funny.

    It's just so....Luke like.

    Yeah, look at his dad. "I love you." Voice change puberty-style. "You love me?"

    Glad to see that Han and Leia are taking back their lives from fanficcers...(realizes she is one)
    oh...do I get a piece of Han then?

    Good job!


    Han is mine, all mine. I've got the patent on him and his banter with Leia.
     
  20. Spike2002

    Spike2002 Former FF-UK RSA and Arena Manager star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 4, 2002
    That was rather random, but it's interesting to see how Han and Leia react to stories told about them that aren't real. It's kinda like celebrities reading stuff told about them that they know isn't true.

    Anyway, nice stuff Ish :D
     
  21. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Spike2002--That was rather random, but it's interesting to see how Han and Leia react to stories told about them that aren't real. It's kinda like celebrities reading stuff told about them that they know isn't true.

    It was supposed to be random. When people are bored, surfing the 'net, and find something weird, it's always random. And I agree about celebrities reading stuff about them. I remember one fic I read where someone called Luke and Leia "extremely close" and she goes "They have no idea. Same womb for nine months."

    Anyway, nice stuff Ish

    Thanks.
     
  22. Spike2002

    Spike2002 Former FF-UK RSA and Arena Manager star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 4, 2002
    I remember one fic I read where someone called Luke and Leia "extremely close" and she goes "They have no idea. Same womb for nine months."

    Sounds familiar. I think I may have read that one too sometime in the distant past.

    :D
     
  23. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Um, did you write it? I'm trying to find it--it's "An Engagement is Announced".
     
  24. Spike2002

    Spike2002 Former FF-UK RSA and Arena Manager star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 4, 2002
    No. I don't usually write H/L.

    If I come across it however, I will send you the link :D

    EDIT: Oh, that was rather easy.

    Enjoy :D
     
  25. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Yes! My everlasting love!
     
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